Tactics Tuesdays: Calling Her When Texts Don’t Pan Out | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: Calling Her When Texts Don’t Pan Out

Chase Amante

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On the heels of Alek’s recent post on fractionation, I want to talk about a fun little technique that uses fractionating your medium of correspondence to get somewhere with girls who aren’t responding well.

This technique is, simply, switching back and forth between texting and calling.

call text splitting

Now, if you’ve done things right from the beginning with a girl, you won’t usually need to use this – a great first impression, framing for the date before you get the number, then solid text game to set things up; that’s usually going to do everything you need it to do.

Usually if you need this technique it’s because you’ve done something wrong:

  • You made a weak first impression
  • You didn’t make it clear you wanted a date with her
  • Your texting was weak and/or unfocused

However, you can still have things unravel sometimes even if you were ‘perfect’; this is if, say, you do it all right, but the day she gets your “hey, let’s get things scheduled” text is a really bad day for her and she puts it off, anchoring negative emotions to texts from you / texts about dates from you in the process. Sometimes a girl can get it in her head that ‘XYZ thing is hard’ (like figuring out where on her schedule you fit), for reasons she isn’t aware of (anchoring), and an otherwise promising connection suddenly goes cold.

For any such situation, you have one neat tool in your toolbox – just vary the means of correspondence, between texts and phone calls (note: email / instant message is basically the same thing as texting, so doesn’t work to vary things enough – we’re talking ‘text-based’ vs. ‘voice-based’ here).

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

GET CHASE’S ONE DATE SYSTEM

Comments

AnonDude's picture

Hi Chase, great article as always.
I was reading Alek’s post on fractionation yesterday and in the comments section while answering a question he described you as "a modern day Casanova who actually likes to create deeper relationship with women - he likes to make them his girlfriends and all that" while describing himself as a "modern day man-whore".

I know he was half joking there but I found that interesting and it would be great if you could write a post on different styles and goals of seduction, pros and cons of each, combinations of different styles and stuff like that. I am asking this because it seems that some techniques discussed here work better for one style but worse for another. Deepdiving is an example used in Alek's comment.

Also on a more personal note I would like to ask if you could describe your style in more detail? What does the term "girlfriend" mean to you? Is it monogamous? If yes how do you sleep with many different woman and gain experience while making them your girlfriends at the same time? How long do these relationships last? And what are your views on relationships in general?

I'm asking because I am not attracted to one night stands but I also don't want to many attachments holding me back so FWB seemed like my only option but maybe you have a better idea...

Alek Rolstad's picture

Hi. Apparently I didn't have a firm grasp on what deep diving really was - I mixed it up with something else. Therefore I am not neglecting the art of deep diving for ONSs. Instead i will pull back and allow chase to clarify.

I am truly sorry for mixing things up.

Alek

AnonDude's picture

Well even if deep diving isn't the best example my question still stands. I just used it because it was the first thing that came to mind.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

AnonDude-

Sure, I can add something to the queue on different styles and their goals, how they’re conducted, what they look like, etc. It’d be interesting. Closest we have to that now is this article:

3 Flavors of Sexy: Brooding, Smooth, and Talkative Vibes

… although that is not quite the same as what you’re looking for.

As for my personal style, I do both ONS and girlfriends. It gets a little impractical to make *every* girl you sleep with past a certain point!

To me, a girlfriend is a girl in your life in any capacity whom you’re sexually involved with, but I don’t usually use it that way on Girls Chase to avoid confusing people, the majority of whom define girlfriend as an exclusive, committed, monogamous relationship. On Girls Chase I usually just use it to mean that latter definition, unless I’m specifically talking about myself. My own personal definition of the word is a little too fluid and undefined for it to be of much use here.

Length of my own relationships are anywhere from a few hours to a few years and everything in between. I am rarely completely single.

And, my view on relationships overall? Well, they’re a part of life and something people do. Everybody has them; even the most commitment-phobic hedonists tire of no-strings sex and settle into relationships sooner or later. They serve a number of social purposes, like allowing individuals to reduce time spent on mate-seeking to use that time for something else, satisfying social and familial demands, and creating an environment for reproduction and child-rearing. The right relationships with the right women can be extremely beneficial to a man and his goals, while the wrong relationships with the wrong women can be extremely detrimental. Guess that’d be the 30,000-foot view ;)

As for your situation, I’m probably the opposite of you. I enjoy ONS but also don’t mind the attachments of ongoing relationships either. The only thing I don’t like is the traditional FWB relationship, since I won’t see women who are seeing other men and the FWB setup all but necessitates this. I’d probably point you toward Drexel’s setup (here) or Ricardus’s (here), since these are more or less the ultimate evolutions of the FWB setup, and probably will match what you want better than what I do.

Chase

AnonDude's picture

Very interesting perspective on girfriends. Never thought of it that way.
I can totally see my self in your shoes in a couple of years, but yeah right now Drexel and Ricardus are the way to go for me.

Thanks Chase.

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Just had a situation regarding this.
1. I asked a girl for compliance over text, but she wasn't willing to. She countered it also by counter offer.
I thought this will create a negative precedence, so I hard push till no end. But she was still unwilling to.

So i thought of reinforcement, I took back my texts, not that frequent, not as affectionate as before. No response for couple days. Should I phone her? But doesn't that reinforce her bad behavior?

A couple more questions

2. The idea with smile warmly, smile sexy. Which one do I do when I first meet the girl? Warmly (both sides, gradual slow smile) or sexy (left side up, chin down, eyes up)? If I do warm, does that cost me my sexy vibe ?
And is sexy smile also slow and gradual ?

3. Pulling her in.
My concerns are, doing this in front of her friends? (male/female/both)
and in public.
Anything I should note or be concerned about?

4. A girl told me she was sexually assaulted. Deep dive or not? I'm not sure how to properly respond to this or in future interactions. And also, anything I should worry about down the seduction road with her and how should I calibrate accordingly / Adjust?

Once again, thanks for everything, Chase. You really helped me improve. Also, giving me more questions too. Sorry about that, bro.

Your devoted reader,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

It’s generally not good form to ask for lots of compliance over text unless you know you can get it. Risks digging you into a hole you can’t get out of. You can try calling, or waiting a few weeks and sending a getting-back-in-touch text, but lots of times once you dig that hole, you won’t escape.

Smile you’ll have to calibrate to the girl and situation. Warm if she’s neutral, sexy if she’s warm, for a good rule of thumb.

Best not to physically escalate in front of girls’ friends. Save that for when you’ve got her alone, unless you’re really looking to challenge yourself! And don’t go into the sexual assault topic. Most actual victims won’t just talk about it, and the girls who talk about it openly are usually the head cases seeking attention via victim status. Let a girl talk about that stuff and you’ll quickly find yourself maneuvered into a position where now you’re trying to explain that you’d never do that and women are so much more to you than sex objects and almost instantly you’re so deep in the friend zone you’re basically BFFs. Any time you hear “sexual assault” from a girl in conversation, throw on your red alert and kill that topic. She might as well just be saying, “Would you like to be my platonic, nurturing guy pal?”

Chase

Kaelos's picture

When is a good day of week and time of day for phone calls (assuming standard work schedule)?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Kaelos-

Check out this article:

Tactics Tuesdays: Making the First Phone Call to a Girl

Ctrl+F for “ideal times to call women” and you’ll go right to it!

Chase

Leroy's picture

Wassup chase. Nice article but I need to ask you something. Not really avoiding your texts or nothing just not that experienced in call game...damn Im not even that great at getting numbers

So I wanba ask you how do I get a job. I'm been searching for a job for a while now. But I been reading your articles and a lot seems to relate to getting a job. Maybe, that's not your attention but I did read a post when you said you impress bosses in Getty a job of you wanted. So I was wondering how can Iapply this?

If it depends them tell what you have done instead to help get you jobs or your students

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Leroy-

Well, to be honest, that’s not much my specialty. I’ve done a lot more hiring than I have applying and interviewing. I can tell you what it looks like from the other side of the table better than I can the applicant’s side.

That said, I did recently see a neat post I ended up forwarding to a few people – might be worth checking out:

  1. Getting a good job is easy Part 1: Get Noticed
  2. Getting a good job is easy Part 2: Start the conversation

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Yo dawg,

Sick stuff chase!
A little confusion on dat girlfriend raw sexual enthusaim.
If we're having first date at my place, same thing? Ravishing dat body when she comes in? Or how long should we wait?

Peace dawg!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

I’d stick to after she’s converted, generally:

How to Convert One-Time Sex into Regular Sex

If it’s the first time you’re together, this will usually backfire unless she’s REALLY turned on and you’ve set an extremely strong sexual frame… to the point where basically it’s obvious the two of you will shag and she’s expect some aggressive, wild sex.

If it’s not your first time but she isn’t converted, ditto. She won’t be down for this yet.

Instead, wait until you’ve already slept with her on 3+ occasions and she’s firmly converted. Then you can use the strategy from the “raw sexual enthusiasm” article and have it go over well.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Impressive Chase!t

That topic is as vital as clearing a virus out, obviously it could take so much unconcious thinking about the girl, what she may like or not... you made clear and I say thank you.

Gratefully, Sadegh

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Would there be an article on witty and busting stones? Would be great!

And how do I address objections with a religious girl?
"I can't do this, God won't like it"

Stay Classy and keep it up! It's strange, but seeing how you put so much effort just for us is a motivation itself. Sincerely, thank you bro.

Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

It’s already on the topics list, but been sitting there a while. It is on there, though!

I don’t deal with religious girls all that often, but I suspect I’d handle that one the same way anything else – go by feel. If she’s clearly turned on: “Well how about this… think God would like this?” [escalating].

If she’s not turned on, there’s a good chance she’s just throwing whatever objection she can at you to get you to back off (and get her more aroused first), and that one just happened to be near at hand.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Yo dawg,

Trying to chat with friends, send em a message.
Brahs don't reply sometimes. Feelin double text or triple is needy
Same method on friends?

Phone after no reply is chasing or Double text ever k for girls or guys?

Peace dawg!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Depends on the friend and the situation.

If I’m meeting up with a close friend and waiting on him to get in or get a ride, and he isn’t replying, he gets a phone call.

If it’s some guy I hardly know and I just pinged him to see what he’s up to and he didn’t write back, I’ll just find something else to do and someone else to do it with instead.

You’ll have to calibrate.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

nice one chase...keep em coming!

ehhh, I don't get it, can you help me???
girl in 2 year drop wants more security and progress such as committment or moving in. But in your suggestions, we can't let her know she has us completely?!!!

What to do????
Thanks buddy!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

See this post on the forum for a discussion of how to do even marriage without necessarily crossing a commitment point:

Marriage: Not a Big Deal (to You)

Works the exact same way for lesser commitments, too (like moving in, etc.).

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

Fantastic writing as always!
In the article last week, a girl said to you, "You're leaving right?" and left afterwards.
How to handle objection like these?
Ones where relationship requirement theme is involved if I interpreted her correctly that is.

Cheers!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Best response to that sort of objection is the hard push:

Since there’s not really a good alternative response, all you can really do is urge her to come with you. Done well, your confidence and persuasiveness can be enough for a girl in a situation like this to decide, “You know what, nothing long-term will come of this, but this guy’s so attractive I might as well go with it.”

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

I've been going out for awhile now.

Wish I was at that level of consistency with my interactions so I can do those fun daring things fractionation more with a number of new girls each day.

I've actually tried using sexual stuff. Sex talk, or sex hinting or witty comments that can be interpreted as sexually related. Sometimes, the girl gets excited. Other times, the girl gets weirded out and pops away. But I found it helps get the girl to know we're interested instead of dilly dallying around as a "friend".

I'm Still working on calibration, with it though. Not too strong; not too weak.

Pretty much with everything too. Teasing / challenge vs. going auto rejection from a chase frame. Etc. Coming off as a jerk and even guys challenge me when I ask them for compliance such as "What did Friend A say?" And they say, "Ask them".

It gets more complicated recently when at my events, the girl is almost always with someone, guy or girl, and when I approach, it's like juggling calibration, with social grace, and inclusion of everyone, but also not giving the girl the wrong idea of 'He's just being social'. Usually I feel no concerns at asking a girl I cold approach for number, and set something, (number close) or even move her (I tried lol). But with friends there, it gives me a whole new experience and stuff, almost baffling.

Question: Sexualization (sexual frame, sexual talk, chase framing etc.) has to be after isolating her correct? Otherwise, social repercussions will cause her to run out.

It's frustrating at the same time with all these challenges flying my way, all these things I have to tweak, but also fascinating how I notice everything going on.
I'll get it eventually. When I do hone calibration and proper timing, I'll definitely go crazy with fractionating haha. Can't wait!

Btw Alex mentioned this pertaining fractionation:
Creating sexual tension does in fact enhance her level of horniness...and you can do by fractionating. But you can also create sexual tension by creating intrigue - i.e. doing 60's poker face.

I'm a bit confused. Maybe you can help me out? I know it's not you that said it, but it'll be great if you can shed some light too!

Does it mean Any intrigue = sexual tension in a way without fractionation?
Or a sexual-theme intrigue goes along with fractionation? (such as kissing her and pulling her away will intrigue her sexually "What is he thinking?")?

But It sounds like Fractionation itself generates intrigue as a side effect. Because we're not "pushing" always, but also "pulling" in a sense with everything = We aren't chasing, but we aren't being closed = "What's on his mind intrigue"
Creating a three dimensional character instead of being an extreme.

Yours,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

When you’re newer, you want to save sexualization for isolation, yes.

When you’re more advanced and you have an established sexual vibe, you can be sexual in front of a girl’s friends and have them approve, but you have to already be the sort of guy a girl’s friends will say, “You should TOTALLY hook up with him,” about. If you’re not that guy yet, it will backfire.

When a woman’s intrigued about a man, this generally leads to sexual tension, yes. The two emotions seem to be linked. Even if he’s not a guy she’d usually be attracted to, if she starts getting intrigued, she’ll start getting attracted. And fractionation does indeed generate intrigue (and thus, attraction)! You’ve got it. Fractionation = intrigue, which in turn = attraction. That’s basically how it works.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Chase,do you agree that Paredo's 80/20 rule applies to targeted approaching? So, for example, roughly 80 percent of women who give an approach invitation are sure things(assuming your process is correct) and 20 percent are not interested. And 80 percent of women who do not give an approach invitation are not interested,whereas 20 percent are interested. So basically the 80 percent of returns comes from that 20 percent who give approach invitations.

Note:by approach invitations im also including multiple sure signs of interest.

Do these numbers line up with your experiences or would you tweak them higher/lower?

Also, do you think its worth the effort to approach and seduce "prospects" women who are lukewarm in there interest or who are only slightly interested(i do realize its a spectrum)? I find that it's a very inefficient strategy, and also a far less enjoyable experience to run a seduction process on a prospect versus a sure thing. Sure things make everything so much easier,from texting,to setting up the date,to taking her home and everything in between.It almost seems like "game" goes out the window with a sure thing, and the only thing that's needed is the ability to lead her, and to follow process,not miss escalation windows etc. But with these women there is no "sales tactics" needed,and no games being played between either party,she likes you and you like her, and everything works out the way it should when there is mutual interest.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

Depends on your definition of “sure things.”

If it’s just “will give you a warm reception”, I’d say that sounds like a reasonable number. If it’s “will end up in your bed”, it’s not generally going to be that high unless you’re on a real hot streak.

Whether it’s worth going after girls who aren’t warm to you or not depends on your goals. If you want to really develop your abilities with women as a skill set, I’d recommend it. The women who make you work harder for it train you more. Depending on your disposition, you may also enjoy these lays a lot – for my money, the most enjoyable lays are a.) the girls who really, really like you, and b.) the girls who don’t like you at all. One’s a magical connection, while the other’s a triumph of skill and conquest. Most guys will feel the same about a.), but many won’t about b.), and that’s fine.

If your goal is just “hook up with girls who really like me” and “do as little work as possible to get my lays”, you can just look for girls who are really warm to you, and be fine with it.

Chase

Anonymous's picture

Hi chase, awesome article as always! I read up your article on intrigue, and investment. Get her to tell us about her, and not talk about us as much as possible. From social events with friends or deep diving a girl I just met, they'll ask about me but I end up pausing trying to piece out a way to answer but not telling them much. Having trouble with this, any pointers or examples?
Thanks chase

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Anon-

The idea is not to deflect, necessarily, so much as it is to parcel out information in a way that makes them want to draw more of it out of you. See the article on baiting for detail on how to do this without being evasive:

Baiting vs. Trading Information

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey bro,
Quick question on unintended pregnant pauses. We should use pregnant pauses, but for me, they're not controlled pregnant pauses (right timing), and rather ones that happen because I run out of things to say.

I don't want to start saying any crap off the top of my head.
What should I do? Should I fill in the silences? And if I don't, and she doesn't, then what?

Thank you for everything bro,
Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

Long-run, improve at conversation, and these largely stop happening.

Short-run, mix it up between re-engaging yourself, vs. throwing on a bored look and letting her do the work.

Chase

Nick The Greek's picture

Another great article from our mentor Chase Amante! Thank you Legend!

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