How to Get Girls: The Last Post You'll Ever Need | Girls Chase

How to Get Girls: The Last Post You'll Ever Need

How to Get Girls: The Last Post You'll Ever Need

how to get girlsThe post "Should You Pay for a Date?" is still, it appears, attracting its fair share of outrage from what seems mostly to be women, who don't like the fact that I'm recommending, based on my own experiences and all of those of every man I'm acquainted with whose tried both ways, that men not pay for their dates if they want better results with girls.

These commentators are protesting, of course, because doesn't fit with the way they think the world ought to work.

But I don't write this blog to talk to people about the way the world ought to work. It'd be great if men could just buy women dinner and women would automatically upon the completion of that romantic date then become the men's lovers, girlfriends, and wives immediately thereafter.

That's not what happens, though. And what this site is about is what does happen -- what works, what doesn't, and everything in between.

So let's settle this, then. I've decided to craft for you, today, the definitive post on how to get girls. After reading this post, your core questions on how to be successful with women are all going be answered -- and any of you ladies reading on here, buckle yourselves in because we're going to take an intensive, in-depth look at the way you choose the men you do.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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M's picture

That's an excellent article, Chase
I am familiar with Community's advice e.g. fast escalation etc, but I always took girls nagging me because of that or my mistakes in seduction too personally. I had rather bad times being criticized, girls rolling eyes, girls giving me boyfriend ultimatums, girls telling me I am perverted, so eventually I doubted myself that I'm behaving not good enough for them to like me. I even tried to act nicer nowadays, which unfortunately only gives an illusion of success.
That article took a lot of pressure from me. You know, it's hard to resist social conditioning. I think your explanation will increase my confidence in doing things and make me a bit tougher.

Chase Amante's picture

Hey M,

Yeah, it's tough sometimes swallowing a non-mainstream pill when everyone else around you is insisting that it really is the mainstream way. A combination of understanding why the other way works better + seeing evidence that it does work better can help steel you long enough to really try it yourself and start building up your own reference points.

Pay attention to women's (people's) voice tones when they're telling you things. A woman saying you're perverted can be bad (if she's legitimately disgusted)... or it can be really, really good (if she's turned on and teasing you back).

Boyfriend ultimatums can mean you're coming across either a bit too needy or you're too good a catch and slipped up in disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend. Either way, gives you something to work on -- and that's always a good thing to have.


M's picture

Well, I have heard quite a lot of variations of pervert thing :)
- Oh, you are such a pervert. (with a sexual smile)
- I like to communicate with you, when you are not such a pervert. (said not seriously) (?)
- Stop doing this perverted little things to me! Why can't we just communicate like friends? (said seriously, girl wanted me to be her boyfriend or even just to tool me)

and the best one
- What do you want from me? You are trying to sleep with me?

Chase Amante's picture


Those are some good ones, yeah. I think my favorite these days is when you just look at a girl, then very dramatically let your face drop into a serious expression, open your eyes wider, and if you had your hand up let it drop on the table, as if to say, "Seriously?"

Women universally start cracking up and feeling like a sexual predator. Works so consistently it's silly ;)


horsewithnoname's picture

theory sounds good and all

but what happens if you're still living with parents and no money to move out for foreseeable future?

what would you suggest instead of inviting girls home?

Neocene's picture

If you're good at it, you can get her to take you back to her place instead.
However work your ass off and try to find your own place, even if you have to find a room mate.

Journeyman Learning's picture

Think of your resources. If you cannot take her home, try to get her in an atmosphere where you can basically tap that a$$ on the spot, like a house party.

Ryan's picture

First of all great article. There is this girl I am very interested in having as a girlfriend, and we have known each other from years back, but just started talking again this year after like 6 years. We hung out twice, first time was a get to know each other day, walking through the park and chatting, having dinner, kiss goodnight. second day she was in my bed. Everything but sex. This was on a weekend she came down from school (3 hours away) to mainly see me. We had a great time. My plan that we discussed was to come hang out at her place for a few days, and we were talkin bout sex and everything, but she says she doesn't want a boyfriend at the moment, but she wants to hang out with me. So I am like alright cool. Then like a personality change, she says that me coming up is a boyfriend move, and she wants to take things slower, and how were friends. So now I am not going up there, and we have just been having conversations which make me sound like I want to make things serious in the future. I feel like It is just pushing her away so I have slowed down on that bullshit talk. What do I do? She won't be back from school til August 8th, and I really want to have this woman as my girlfriend.

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Ryan,

Well, first man, props on getting some success with a girl you're digging.

It's a little unfortunate you didn't get together when she drove 3 hours to see you. Normally, that's one of those situations I'd advise you pretty much have to get together with a girl for her to not feel like she just wasted 3 hours' drive. But, college can be a little different sometimes -- I had a pal my sophomore year who had a girl drive 45 minutes to come see him, she spent the weekend, and they didn't sleep together. He had her come down again the next weekend, and they closed the deal then.

If I was you, I'd drop all serious / long-term talk. If she brings it up again, laugh it off and tell her, "Yeah, I'm... not really sure what I was thinking there. Anyway..." and go back to being the same attractive you that got her into bed in the first place. Aim to be her friend... that she gets physical with. And make sure she's coming to see you if at all possible -- your odds will be far better than you driving to see her. You'll probably have to start and stop -- you'll start escalating, she'll protest she wants to be friends, you'll stop. You'll start escalating again, she'll protest again, you'll stop again. Just don't let it faze you, be persistent, and be honest with her -- "Hey, look, I like you. We don't have to do anything we don't want to do here -- let's just relax and enjoy being together. Okay?"

And good luck, partner -- here's hoping you get your girl!


Taroth's picture

Hey Chase you nailed this article. I think you'd be interested in the discussion we're having over in seddit about it:

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Taroth, thanks for pointing me to that discussion. Some interesting comments on there -- I particularly enjoyed nostrademons' game theory breakdown, and while I wouldn't necessarily agree with all the conclusions he comes to, some rather intriguing extensions of each person's future he postulates.

There seem to be some pretty smart users on Reddit. I had a guy point out to me one of my posts that was up on there before, and both times the level of discussion was quite good. A bunch of critical thinkers that seem to not have the negativity and cynicism you see on a lot of other seduction forums -- pretty good combination, that (critical thinking + positivity).


Jap John's picture

Chase, my tomodachi,

I've had your blog in my RSS feed for a good few months now but this is the first time I've commented. I really felt your heart-felt commitment in this article, and I got an impression of the "weight" of the journey it's been to get to this realisation.

Also, I was having a very similar discussion with a Japanese friend just yesterday night, funny little coincidence. Came about soon after I showed him a text from a slightly unhinged girl threatening to cut off one of my three testicles. After tearing off all the hair on my ass.

Good times... I don't think I'll be seeing her again.

Where are you in the world these days? I seem to remember you mentioning Korea before? If you prefer to reply by email, I'd love to have a longer chat with you.

Many thanks for taking the time to type to myself and the rest of your audience,


Chase Amante's picture

Howdy John,

Sounds like you found yourself quite a spunky girl, that one! Yeah, the red flags are waving around her -- better to seek saner company.

Thanks for the feedback on the post. Felt good as I was writing it -- usually you can get a fair sense when you've got a good one on your hands. Then you just try and make the other, less inspired ones as sharp as they can be, in between waiting for inspiration to hit again...

I'm back in Beijing for now. Chance I may be off to India for a bit in a few weeks, and I'll likely be in Japan again sometime in September or October. Korea I did visit a bit back, yeah, though it's been about a year. Always fun times in Seoul...

You're certainly welcome for the response. I'm a big believer in long-term relationship building among friends, readers, clients, customers, coworkers, bosses, and everyone else; every relationship invested in is an investment in yourself, too. Feel free to drop me an email on the contact page; let me know where in Japan you are if you do too.

Cheers for now, and sayonarra brother,

Brent's picture

I read this article when you first posted it and read it again today. What really stands out to me is the line; "The man who takes a woman to bed is the man who gets her". It's such an obvious statement that almost makes too much sense it's silly to even think about. I remember in the past taking women out, spending money, time, and emotion just to end up alone at the end. Telling myself that taking it slow was the right thing to do and this girl is really going to like me. When in reality 95% of the time I have taken it slow with a girl she never sleeps with me.

This made no sense at all to me a few years ago. It makes perfect sense to me now and for the people just getting started with reading advice on this kind of stuff you need to realize what Chase says in this article is spot on. Being nice and taking things slow will only get you a ton of female friends. Trust me I've been there and it is not fun.

Taking it slow rarely accomplishes anything and is basically an excuse for guys to not take action. In my experiences if the girl is into you she will have no problem when you try to escalate. There are conservative girls who may not sleep with you right away but they will still be very intimate with you on first dates. Every girl is different but if you take the correct steps that Chase gives there should be little to no hesitation on your part or her part. It's 2011 this isn't the 1940's anymore. It's normal to have sex on a first or second date. Stepping out of your comfort zone and moving past that mental barrier that girls want a gentlemen that takes it slow is the first step to improving your success with women.

Chase Amante's picture

Brent, appreciate you sharing your experiences on here, man. Sometimes it seems a little amazing how we more or less all go through this phase -- wanting to take it really slow with girls we like -- and more or less all end up losing big for a while because of it.

It's perhaps very personality-dependent -- the super dynamic people I've known tend not to fear negative consequences as much, and thus learn from an early age to doggedly pursue what they want and not fear losing it by moving too fast or too aggressively -- but the rest of us try to take baby-steps and carefully inch our way toward what we want, often losing it in the process. Not just women, but jobs, friends, all manner of opportunities.

Anyway man, always good to hear from you. Hope life is going excellently these days.


Daniel's picture

Hey there Chase. May i ask..what if the girl is not into sex? The girl im in love with sometimes hints that she doesn't want sex until marriage or something so if i need to move can I if she doesn't want it..please advice..

own worst enemy's picture

Just happened across your page while debating a friend about proper "text" etiquette with a girl of interest... great stuff! I also realized something much more important... something I can't ignore -- I found that I am at a philosophical crossroads. I'm 39, never married, and have always considered myself very fortunate with dating wonderful women. However, since moving to the east coast from LA (about a year out of a relationship) and looking to meet some lovely company, I've come to the horrifying realization that most of the women in my life have "chosen me" -- meaning, I never made a conscious effort to "land" them. At first, that might seem great... but what about when I see someone I'd love to meet? I think to myself: "Surely with all the high status women I've been with I can pick this woman up..."
Well, aside from sounding like an outrageous egomaniac... I have to admit, I'm scared to death of women I'm attracted to... I flat out lose my cool. It's great to know that I have the ability to attract top-notch woman... it's completely unnerving to feel so incredibly uncomfortable opening a woman I'm attracted to.

I lived in LA for a many years and I think that really did a "whammy" on me psychologically. For the most part, the actresses and the like I dated just seemed to come into my life... I never ran "game" on them or had to think too much about "scamming" on them -- I was lucky enough to find myself in situations where I was in their company and put in a favorable light by mutual friends. What I also found (felt like) was that when I wanted to "target" a woman for companionship, I would almost always get shot down. In my experience, telling a woman that you "just noticed how great her style/smile/whatever is" and you "just had to say hello" almost always resulted in her rolling her eyes and walking away unless I was with a celebrity... but then it was always about the celeb... not about my opener. It's nice to be lucky with the ladies but I'd rather be skilled!

Several years ago I tried wrapping my head around various schools of thought from different PUA Guru's and things just proceeded to get worse. I wasn't loose and natural -- I felt as if I were in a high school play and trying to remember my lines or trying to remember what act we're in... We all know that type of tension... it's the kind of awkward feeling that makes you wish you could just disappear. I was actually coming to peace with the fact that my experience is normal and that the women that these PUA tactics worked on were not the kind of women I would want to date... The truth is that I knew those approaches weren't working for me but I had to admit that my approach wasn't working either. Then I started reading what you had to say... It all seemed so natural and to make such perfect sense! However, the one problems still remains... I'm petrified of rejection -- I mean... I know the old "just go for it" or "dive in and you'll be fine" -- it's not like that for me... it's not fine -- it's more like a bad sideshow for passers-by. And with each bad experience making it all the much harder to see any light at the end of the tunnel.

So to recap, I have been very fortunate to have high-status women chase me but when I decided on a woman I wanted, I rarely succeeded when pursuing her.

Reading through your posts now, I'm fascinated by all this info and find myself almost overwhelmed... feeling that trying this approach will leave me "searching" for the right things to say and "trying" to remember the exact sequence, idea, framing. Feeling like it's so much to remember, how can I implement this in a way that's natural and effective without the anxiety kicking in? The bottom line is that I have major anxiety when it comes to approaching women/opening sets/escalating... It's unfounded. I can't complain about the quality of the women I've been with however, the rub is simply the fact that I feel that they've chosen me and I lack the mental quietness to make this approach work for me... As soon as I'm ready to give it a go: Stage fright... mind goes blank...crap. I tried telling myself: "You just need to be yourself... girls will see that you're a great guy and ditch these chumps"... I'm realizing that's just an excuse because I'm simply afraid of failure/making an ass of myself/whatever the excuse du jour is...

Thanks again for sharing all this wonderful info -- hopefully you have a few ideas to help get me out of my own way and start feeling more skilled than lucky with women.


Anonymous's picture

hi chase
I've noticed that girls that scale from 1 to 7 I'm really good at talking to but after 8's I act like a social retard.

same deal's picture

i feel you on that man! i had this problem as a 21 year old college student.i happen to get a job at hooters and my comfort level around hb8's+ went up pretty quickly.. it helped that its hooters and the girls are all hired guns so they are very flirty with the cooks, easy to talk to because they much more recptive. and im probably just rehashing the approach anexiety post, check that out hope this helped

Katie's picture

Katie 2
Hi to all of you ,boys :0)
I was supposed to finish with all this writing as I was getting a bit ``addicted`` to Chase`s good sense of humour )))...
BUT !-I OWE him a big THANK YOU for letting me understand man`s point of view in ``seduction ``...ok and what I MUST SAY to all of you boys who are looking for the BEST way to get a girl -listen to Chase as he knows how to achieve it,trust me:0) I nearly lost myself in this game and I know that was Chase`s kind of game - I got so attracted to a man that couldn`t even sleep,and if not the situation I am in at the moment ,being close to that man would be the best thing could ever happen to me ...I think :0)....yeeees my situation is kind of messy ....I know HE attracted MANY women to him ,even my friends and I AM NOT SURPRISED AT ALL - as he HAS A GOOD WAY to do it and if you want to succeed -listen to Chase !
Ok I think that makes this post the last one .I realized I actually must let you all know that you should appreciate the work he does to help you out -he believes it works and it DOES .I am the walking proof .I lost my soul for a man and was that close to give my body ...anyway :all the best to all of you and big THANKS to Chase .

KEEP SMILING :0) :0) :0)


Ralph's picture

Quick question....why is being in the boyfriend territory a bad thing? Why must the ultimate goal be taking her home and getting her to "bed". Don't alot of guys want to actually BE with a girl?? Sometimes I just dont understand some of your pieces.

major_tom's picture

hey ralph,
it's been several days so i hope you see this. chase's point is that you don't want to be in boyfriend territory BEFORE sleeping with a woman. it puts you in a position of having to fight an uphill battle as she will constantly try to slow you down, since her logic/friends/society will tell her that is what's best.

the evidence shows that going slow ISN'T what's best, and in fact every long-term relationship i personally have been in started very fast. i didn't put two and two together until just recently, but that's what was happening.

hope this clarifies things for you.

Bobby's picture

Wow spot on man,
This is one of the most brilliant, eye-opening articles i have ever read chase, i never thought moving fast with girls was the key..cos i had the ideas that moving so fast would jeopardize my chances with the girl i'm interested in and make me come off as needy,a perv and a low-life, cos i've been told by a few dating blogs (of which i now consider their ideas ridiculous) that to attract girls,you've got to act like you got chicks flocking to you always and so you've got to act like you're not crazy about her and take things slow, and even sometimes have to ignore but this article of yours opened my eyes to great insights aboout getting girls i never thought about nor thought was the right way since like you said, the so-called mainstream dating gurus tells us otherwise..again thank you man,that was a brilliant one!!..i need Emails on more dating tips from you man..hope to hear from you

Pauly C's picture

This is totally true every woman I ever been with I moved fast with. The catch was I was not really attracted to them so I also never really cared what would happen with them and this always gave me great success.

Then one day I met this girl I was actually attracted to and cared too much about getting her causing me to move slow and let me tell you. It's been two years and I still have not bedded her. I do still take on these other girls to make up for the lack of sex I get from this one. I fell into the friend zone and now we hang out fairly often and I can pretty much do everything like a boyfriends except for the best part of being with someone you are in love with. That is the worst part that I can walk around in public holding her hand, cuddle up and watch a movie and that's the extent of the physical.
If I could go back to the first few dates I'd do it all so different.

Everyone listen to Chase and you will find your happiness.

Hans's picture

Hey Chase I've recently come across your site and I think it's awesome. I've personally kind of been in Pete's position before but that's sort of started to change.The thing is I'm about to turn 19 and I just finished my first year of college at the moment. The thing is would you say the concept of getting a girl to bed first still applies in age groups such as mine, since I found that even in College there's a fair amount of girls who still haven't had sex, so at my age do you think the rule of sleeping with a girl in order to get her to become your possible girlfriend still always the best way to go about it? Thanks


Bobby's picture

I know your question was for chase but i'd like to tell you "Yes it does apply to our age group" because i'm also about turning 19 too,it wouldn't apply if you or the girls involved are under-aged, so yeah bro..i found this article very eye-opening and brilliant..i'm really glad i read it because i've also found out that my relationships with girls never lasted whenever i take the hunt slow lol,either the attraction fades away because some other guy is busy banging her while i'm taking my time to play it safe because i don't wanna lose her, or she just mentally places me in the friend-zone.

Mike's picture

Hey, I loved the article. I've read MANY of your posts here, I just need to know what the transition is for a high school kid. Obviously getting in bed on the first date can't happen. Too much risk of getting caught, parental pressure, and peer pressure. If you sleep with someone on the first date and you're a girl in high school, you're a slut. How can I get the results that I want/need. I'm in desperate need of all the help I need, and thankfully you have helped me in just like 2-3 weeks go from the freak and loser to an all right guy in my school. And that is partly because of your articles.

But there's this girl that drives me crazy trying to figure out. I don't have to act like I don't want her as a girlfriend because I don't. I want to see who she really is and get to know her without risk of losing my chance. Any help would be appreciated.

Joseph 's picture

Well I was hoping it would be of some relief to you to know you're not alone where you are . There are many others like me who share your condition. And people like you and me who are searching for answers. So anyway just cause you're in high school who said you cannot move fast. Ofcourse you can't get her to bed (dont rule out a possibility) so get her closely attracted to yourself. And keep moving. And as for the article abovet is really awesome.....must say.

Jay's picture

Hey Chase,

As a highschool guy who's a mix of Pete and Jerry from your story, I had quick question:

I've been hanging out with this girl lately, and I think she's the best. She's cute, funny, athletic, loves to party, etc... But she goes to my high school, which is only 800 kids, so if I mess up, I have to see her everyday for another year or so. What should I do? Go for quick physical friends or actually go for bf-gf? And how would I do that?

Any help would be great.
Thanks, Jay

Anonymous 's picture

Hey Chase, this is very good advice for beginners, in my opinion, but I noticed you said to get in "bed" with the girl as fast as possible. Is there a way to move fast, without having sex? Is there a way to get a girl to want you to be their boyfriend without the need to get in "bed" with them?

Thanks In Advance!

Anonymous's picture

Very good article. In my view, it's those subtleties that made your methods work out so well. You're telling the reader to keep it simple and pursue what he wants. Women want a real man, and so it is important to be strong physically, emotionally, and mentally. What you say about being humble but also not being too sympathetic makes a guy seem stable and confident without seeming bullheaded. That kind of guy can make her feel better when she's sad, and is certainly someone she could like. Talking about her directly, moving her, and getting her to talk about herself, shows that you are interested in her. If a guy shows that he is interested in her and doesn't beat around the bush, like you said, he'll be more likely to get with her. I liked this article, and while I may not see some of what you said in the same context as you put it, the tools themselves work and that's what matters.

Amon joe's picture

Hi Chase,
I have a little bit different case. there is a college mate girl I really love and I know that im into her. Everyone was getting a head of us by saying that we are a couple and we make a perfect match, that was long way before I broke the silence one week ago, after taking her out on a date and having a very nice time together.

At first she was easy and asked time for her to do some thinking and I did it expecting a positive reply.
Today, one week later, no reply, she doesnt even bother to reply my texts, nor even pick my calls. Whennever I appear to be bumping into her she in another way.

We are in an exam period and considering the fact that im most likely to fail the test, I yestaday decided to postponr my exams and will do it later in my right moods. I packed my staff and went home since I wasnt doing anything like reading, studying, eating, sleeping.. To make worse more she is my class mate in all courses im taking. If in deed she has rejected me its gonna be the toughest time in my life.

im so broken hearted like hell, I dont know wat to do. She is a girl I cant miss to have, she is my life. She is all I want. Wat should I do?

i hop for reply soon.

Thank you,

Amon Joe.

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

Read the article and love it. But I have a question about how you adjust if there is a relatively longer commute (an hour) between you and her.

The background is that I just started on eHarmony and I used some of your screening/qualifying techniques in my messages to a chick. It worked brilliantly, and when I told her some of my favorite dishes, she told me that they would be "easy" to prepare! I quickly asked for her phone number; she didn't offer it outright, but instead asked for mine and said she'd send me a text. I complied, and she almost instantly sent me a text saying "Hey Dustin. This is Gloria from eHarmony. :D Please keep my number."

I tried calling the next day, but it was a Saturday, and it went to voice mail. I left a short voice mail simply saying "Hey Gloria. This is Dustin. I'll talk to you later."

Perhaps it's better that I didn't get through instantly because I was planning on offering a date near her place (about an hour's drive from me); now I'm starting to rethink that approach, based on your article.

Would you ask her to make the hour's drive out to you? Would you offer to meet halfway? Or would you drive out to her place?

Bear in mind that we've never met, and I feel that with online dating, there almost has to be a certain amount of warming up for the girl/screening to make sure the guy isn't a serial killer. ;) Also, the phone conversation will be the first time I've ever heard her voice (or she's heard mine).

So, how would you play it? Would you still ask her to drive out to you?


James's picture

Dustin - I visited your site for the first time today and I must say that the 'moving fast' strategy really caught my attention. I was skeptical at first since that generally goes against everything i 'thought' i knew but i am open minded and willing to give it a shot. I couldn't agree with you more. I like to consider myself to be fairly good with girls, mainly because of my looks and the fact that im usually talking to an ex or someone of higher status than the other girls i get play from - basically finding sex is not a problem.. finding love on the other hand has become a mission. As of late, i have been fiending for romance and a partner and have had very little success closing the deal with the girls i actually like. right now i am in a dilemma with a girl I've been talking too for about a month now and for some reason ive grown quite a liking for her. This is a girl who works at a local deli by my job that i go to a couple times a week, and for the longest time i always have had this physical attraction to her, crush you can say. One day i found out she felt exactly the same. After we exchanged numbers we started texting several times a day with a great deal of flirting, attraction and all that good stuff... I was away for several weeks during that time so we didnt really have much chance to hang out but i felt as if i had played all my cards right and everything was moving along perfectly, until recently. Last week, we made plans to go for drinks on Friday after work which ended up turning out badly (besides meeting at lunch break several times, this would have been the first actual time we went out). The whole situation became really inconvenient on Friday, she ended up working several hours later than supposed to and had mentioned one of her coworkers was coming along to.. i took that as my hint to save face and go home, i didn't want her to think id wait forever for her and since it wasn't going to be one on one i sort of lost interest. In retrospect, i feel as if i should have waiting, or at least told her i was going home (which i didn't until she asked me where i was). Since then its been hard to get through to her, she responds to my messages with short responses, vague answers with irrelevant smiley faces and hints at the fact that she hasn't been feeling good (emotionally i assume) - some days she doesn't respond at all. I apologized and tried to make it up to her a few days later when i caught on to her being indifferent, but she didnt forgive me just said she was busy. So far this week she stood me up for lunch and has showed little interest when i visit her at work. I've been trying my best to take it easy and be cool but i have the lurking that shes genuinely mad and wont really move forward with things until i genuinely apologize and explain myself. My problem here is that i don't know which direction to go in, I've tried to speak with friends about it but they are no help. I've been seeing other girls and keeping myself busy but deep inside i really want to make amends with this one and get back in the game. Since we started talking, ive only hinted at the fact that im into her with flirty comments, I've showed as much as i could about myself through text but there's so much more to me she doesn't know, and vis versa. I never like to spill my feelings to a girl unless i completely trust them but I'm motivated and willing to do whatever it takes to get a second chance with this one, Im just confused as what to do... I really hope you can help, any advice at all would be great.

Thank you,


Tom james's picture

Great article! Helped me a lot! I have recently made the boyfriend mistake with a girl i like a lot. We've been out 3 times as friends and had no action at all yet. I asked her on a date she said its best we stay as friends. Is there anything i can do? I dont think there is but if there is please help me! This aeticle has helped me a lot though. I shall now step mh game up!

EpicNameBro's picture

Hi Chase, first of all, great article, really taught me new things. Gonna try them next time I'm out!
Second, I just read your other article that linked to this one, about getting a girl back. Thing is, I didn't show her enough attention, and was pretty self-centered at times, but the thing is I never actually wanted to. I had the best intentions, they just came out wrong. Now I've taken some effort to communicate thouse intentions, and talked to her about it, and I feel I'm having progress on this expressing issue. BUT, as you said, if you just be the nice guy who listens and is being supportive or caring, you end up losing her to some douche like Jerry, basically. That's what my fear is, I can't push as hard as you recommend in the articles, I actually can't push at all, so choose the slow approach, I'm just affraid that it's going to be very fruitless because I can't move fast at all.
Any comments on this?


Anonymous's picture

Piss off chase!! Im soooo mad at you!!! why didnt I find this website 3weeks ago when I met this cute girl?? Now shes put into 'boyfriend' zone and it looks like Im never gonna get her!!!!

Anonymous's picture

are you sure this applies to all girls? there are some girls who just don't end up in bed that easy. it's easy to say what you've been doing but i come from an asian society and there are some really good girls who won't sleep with you easily and moving fast can really destroy things with them. what would you say to that?

S. Myrtle's picture

Best article on the site thank you

Anonymous's picture

Hey chase...
Me from India. Nice article really liked it
Actually I got a girl last year who already had a boyfreind I managed steal her from him somhow being the nice guy not the bad one... It took time for me to get her in the bed but when she herself committed that she was not a virgin... Even after that I did everything except sex.
But later I got her in the bed... Later i started acting like a jerk and too much needy she left me and went with the same previous boyfreind... The other guy use to act as same you described earlier but was the same reason she got with me as he was a jerk... What should I had done so she would have never went to him again????

Cg's picture

Hi at the moment I'm best friends with a girl that I'm in love with... a couple of years back my best friend told me we're just friends, but just recently when I went to hang-out with her, I would massage her back but I got a little curious and wondered how she would react to me massaging her breasts, as I did I got no reaction, so I kept on going while she was trying to watch a presentation, so at the moment we're both taking the week off and now I'm losing my mind why she didn't do anything, and at the end of the week I feel like spilling everything out and telling her how I feel and asking her why she didn't pull away.. was it because she liked it? I'm the type of guy who is very gentlemenly and I'm wondering would this article help me in letting my best friend be my girlfriend? for years she was always on my mind and I've always wanted to show her how much I love her... idk she doesn't seem like the type of girl who would get into bed with someone she knows little about, but Idk please help me out here!

P's picture

I am 41. Tall, exceptionally fit, good job, intelligent, adventurous... You name it! I discovered the TOTAL DEAD-ON TRUTH of this post graduallly by myself over the past 5 years. I tell all readers: THIS POST is it. Sorry for Chase himself and all the other "dating advice" people out there : follow the exact steps in this post, get your confidence, lifestyle and "inner game" together, and your life will change dramatically. Do NOT listen to women - they are the worst dating advice people on the planet! Trust me - i am living example of how bang-on this post is! Congrats on this one, Chase! Wow!

Anonymous's picture

I couldn't figure it out, but yes, yes, yes. It's just been a coincidence that I've been successful, and unsuccessful exactly as you described here. Now I know why. Excellent post!

Anonymous's picture

dude words alone can't explain how awesome you are. I'm so glad that finally someone out there realizes this. Infact I've figured this out on my own once. You have to move fast and be direct with women. I see so many guys who say be her friend first and crap and guess what? They never get her. But this along with all of your articles are great.

Drex's picture

Chase, this is awesome! Your ability to articulate what you're doing, and why it works, sets you apart from the Matrix Herd just as much as your ability to actually make things happen.

Anonymous's picture

Despite having slept with over 15 different women in my life I was never quite sure how I did it. That is, until I read this article. It's all so clear now. Thank you sir for breaking the spell!

Prehistoric's picture

It is amazing how "what works" differs so much from what "one thinks it works"...

it is probably society, family, talking too much with women as "friends", movies that constantly fills our minds with useless if not counter-productive information.

I have read this article for the first time and thought: this doesn't make sense, but then I go back to the times I actually was successful with women and start to realize that's just the way it is.

Men of this century really need perspective change.

Anonymous's picture

what about if you want to get a girl whos working as a waitress or something?

Anonymous's picture

Okay so I read this article after my first date with this amazing girl and now I am kicking my self in the head. I did everything that you said on my our except the close! I went on a blind date through a mutual friend it went fantastic, she ended up coming back to my place after only an hour of dinner, we where going to watch a movie but to my surprise she wanted to play video games instead keep in mind I'm 18 years old. Nothing happened she ended up having to go so I walked her to her car she said "I had a really great time we should do this again" and then she paused so I kissed her. It was on the lips and she kissed me back after I tried to pull away. then she left. After reading this post I feel like I could have gone a lot further. So my question is how do I right this wrong.

J_Man's picture


"Being nice, and paying for things for women, and trying to be impressive to them isn't how to get girls."

I've already done both of these things, and I can tell she's starting to slow down, and waning even.

What can I do to get her to see me as someone to hook up with? Note, she has already expressed her interest before and talked about taking me home. I could tell one night she wanted to kiss me, but the last person at the establishment wouldn't leave when she asked him to. So the conditions were not right either time. I read your article on escalation windows, and that was a definite miss.

I'm feeling at a loss here, but she's really cool. I do have an advantage tho - I see her every day. She runs the MMA Gym I train at, and I'm a fighter.

Is there a remedy here?? Please help..

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