Eye Contact Flirting | Girls Chase

Eye Contact Flirting

Eye contact is one of those things that's a great deal of fun when you know what you're doing, but a real thorn in your side when you're still working on figuring it out. It's subcommunication at the very core level – talking in the absence of words. At once both more powerful than verbal conversation, and, until you've come to a better understanding of it, often distractingly unclear.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Anonymous's picture

Great article...i just stumbled across the site. One question about the smile, i noticed on your blog on smiles you talk about the difference between a warm smile and sexy smile, i.e. using more of the left and right side of the smile. When approaching the girl after the eye contact, you said approach with a warm smile...i would have thought you want more of the cheeky sexy smile or am i wrong?

Ramon's picture

Cheeky smile does not work always.
Warm smile does.
Thats the difference.

MichaelDB's picture

Hi, Always interesting to see how another person (Male) views using eye contact. But, what works for each of us, works because 'we' personally think it does! It's not necessarily going to be as successful for another person. I personally wouldn't go into it with all these specified fractions of time etc. The joy of it all is the variety and I love to be surprised. Women are individuals as we are and there is surely not 'one size fits all' when it comes to this game. But still, good, in depth, comment!

Snigdhendu Das's picture

Sir/mam, I have read your article and it is very interesting. But the thing is that you have asked not to give eye contact first. But my question is that how can I draw her attention and eyes first that she will glance at me?
Please suggest.
Waiting for your reply.....

Anonymous's picture

I'll suggest move into her line of sight & don't look directly at her, use your peripheral vision so you see her looking at you first. Maybe turn your body from left to right to see if that movement attracts a glance. If she's already seen you & is not interested she probably won't look again, ever. Of course she may be busy in conversation. If all else fails try pulling your junk outa ya pants. That should get multiple & varied reactions from many women. Chase does say use minimal effort to sort out the goers. :-)

Anonymous's picture

Hi Chase, I'm in kinda an odd situation and gotta question on eye contact. All your articles on eye contact have helped me immeasurably in things like street pick up or when I'm on holiday or meeting friends in other parts of the country. However, in school I'm kinda seen as an introvert, and so don't have much social value. The girls do find me attractive (hence why I do we'll outside of my school) but at the same time see me as a social burden. At parties I'll see them either stare at me, when theyre a little further away from me, then when I am about to look back look away really fast or will be staring at me whilst walking in my direction (perhaps to get a drink from the bar) and when I engage them they continue the conversation whilst looking away. How do I cure these two situations? It's really getting to me! I was thinking about employing some kind of chase frame there, as I was being stared at, ibut am quite unsure. Its difficult to know the amount of eye contact and attention to give in such situations.
Thanks Chase, really appreciate this resource!

Anonymous's picture

Hey your articles are amazing I need advice on this tricky siuation so can you show ne articles and give me personal advice on this. So I have this infatuation on this actress and I want to start a long term relationship so i'm the director and writer who does other technicals and some acting. She's not incredibly known so she's not like famous actors today who are effected by fame. I'm american and she's british where probally the same height so 5'4 about can you help please

Brandy's picture

I'm a female and I disagree. I think it's best to look at her first, it shows your interested and gives off a sense of confidence. Also I believe looking directly at her instead of looking from the side would work better. It shows, once again, that your confident and really into her. Looking from the side would give off the sense that your shy and submissive which isn't attractive when your looking for a guy.

Lighthouse's picture

Well, I did the 'have her look at me first' trick + looking at her from the side a couple of times. This was before reading this article actually. I did it naturally. It was 100% effective.

The second time it was two girls walking together. They both looked at me first, then I looked at them in a very confident way from the side. I could tell they were both instantly melting.
Oh and I'm not that good looking.

So I will keep on doing this.

You have to remember there are different ways of looking from the side. There's the shy look as you point out but there's also the confident and sexy look with closed mouth.
When using the latter is does work.

RMcGee100's picture

Hey Chase,

First off, I've been reading you're articles for quite some time and have to say; they've benefited me more than just about anything I can put a finger on, both practicaly and as a mindset readjustment. I was happy to pay the subscription fee and hope you're doing well by it.

With that said, I have a question regarding eye contact that's had me guessing and confused for quite a while.

To start, some background info; after reading and applying your matterial for quite a while, I decided to try it out at my workplace. Specifically, there was a girl that I knew liked me and I (admitidaly) made an ass of myself by chasing her after a few screw ups. I've long since gotten over her and moved on but, in the mean time, we've hired quite a few new girls; a few of which I'm intereted in. With that said, my workplace is very gossipy and I have no doubt that (at least most) of these girls know that I was chasing.

I've trained my peripheral vision quite a bit over the last year and can see that about half of my female coworkers are stealing glances when they think I'm not looking, including the one I chased. I've been very aware of it for a few months and can't figure it out; four seem open to my advances, while the rest seem rather neutral. If this helps, I tried being reactive to one of the "receptive" girls and engaged her a minute after I observed this and she seemed to recoil and put her walls up immediately.

I am wondering if I'm not being taken seriously anymore or if these are subtle signs of interest that I should be acting on. I'm in a higher-up position and don't want to make a fool of myself (again) if these signs say something obvious. I appriciate any advice you have for me in advance, thanks.

A-F-F EGYPT's picture

Thanks, do much for the advices :)

BUT, After the eye contact and the smiles how can I start the conversation?!

Specially if both of us are driving our cars?!

John - 90405's picture


I live in Santa Monica, CA and I am really open to trying all of your advice all the time. But I'm curious to know how well this would work in Los Angeles. Most of the girls that I run into are either wearing sunglasses or always looking at their cell phones constantly and are never really looking up to make eye contact. What are your thoughts on this. I feel like I live in the wrong city because the majority of the girls I run into are so into themselves, their phones and I never really run into any of them that make any eye contact, smile or just say "Hi". Let me know what you think about going about this. Thanks.

Anonymous's picture

Hi there,
Recently I have a problem in talking to women as my eye are wondering all around. I am unable to maintain eye contact with them as my eye are looking at their neck etc....what can I do to focus on ther eyes or face?

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

Anonymous reader here. Just read this entire article and its brilliant. At this point in time I would consider myself in the developmental stage of this technique yet ive used it effectively today. Truly the art is suggestive of being a constant OBSERVER of behavior and waiting for right opportunities while using the law of least effort. Just appear calm, in control and demand a girl to hang out (IF THERES CHEMISTRY) but in a calm, fun manner.

Anonymous's picture

Watch the French film "The Mother and the Whore" (four hour long, black and white, but an absolute masterpiece!) for a good example of the power of eye contact.

Jaosunag's picture

Dear Chase,

I found your site less than a year ago, and was instantly captivated by the variety of topics you and your team covers, as well as by tremendous depth and substance of your analyses. The truth is, I needed the help, and I am inmensely grateful to have received it.

Growing up in Latin America, I was no Casanova. I was terrified of rejection, and my fear only got worse when I started feeling pressured by my friends, who at the time were starting to get results with girls. I allowed my fear to paralize me and prevent me from improving. Somehow, and not due to any conscious effort, I stumbled into my first kiss at age 16, and into losing my virginity a year after.

I moved to the United States to attend college, and the more relaxed atmosphere helped me gain a bit of confidence. However, my lack of knowledge and experience led me to make every possible mistake with a girl I really liked. In spite of this, I got really lucky, and I ended up dating that girl for four years. As great as that experience was, the relationship was doomed by my ignorance of what women really wanted, and by my failed mental models. Needless to say she ended up breaking up with me.

I was completely devastated. I had lost my best friend and the woman I thought would be the mother of my children. But looking back, I believe that it was precisely what I needed. I needed to burn all of those wrong perceptions that made me who I was, in order to come back from the ashes and be able to soar, free of preconceptions, and become the best version of myself.

I started diligently immersing myself in the seduction literature, hanging out with friends who were successful with girls, and slowly pushing myself out of my comfort zone and experimenting in real life. After a long period of trial and error, of self-examination, and of refinement of my approach; I started getting some results. And I was hooked!

It has been a little over a year since I made the decision to take life by the reins, and to become who I wanted to be. I am not a Casanova...yet, but I am getting closer. I am consistently improving, and the results have been coming along. I now have two friends with benefits who I regularly see, and I have bedded three new girls in the past month.

I have shared great experiences with these women, two of them actually telling me that I have been their best. I have great casual relationships based on strong sexual attraction, but also filled with respect. I used to view casual sex as something that was purely about myself, and unconsciously treated it as an opportunity to get off using a woman's body. I have changed for the better and have grown to understand how beautiful it is when two individuals excercise their freedom and decide to indulge in each other. The focus of my desire has evolved from being self-centered and purely physical, to being experiential and centered on building a connection. Sex is now hot and steamy, and I like it a lot better!! (and so do my partners)

My confidence has improved significantly, and I am a much happier person; which has helped me improve my work life as well. I wanted to take this opportunity to express my gratitude towards you and your team. You are changing lives for the better, and the people who hate on your trade are either immersed in ignorance, or downright idiots.

I still have much room for improvement, and one of the problems I have been encountering a girl's lack of eye contact. Although not exclusively, I like shy girls; and I have had instances where girls face away for most of the time while they are talking. I tend to focus the conversation on them, so this means that they don't look at me much throughout the interaction. I do not think it is necessarily due to a lack of intrest, since I have brought some of those girls home. Perhaps this is due to shyness on their part, I have noticed that as the conversation progresses and they warm up more, they start holding better eye contact which allows me to use nonverbals and flirt with them more effectively. I think it would be great if you could direct me to a post on shy girls, and on how to help them warm up faster so attraction can ramp up, and seduction can escalate more smoothly.

Thanks for spreading your knowledge.

- J

Girl Down Under's picture

Chase, I'm visualizing you using your eyes the way you describe in your article and I'm wet.

I feel like such a giggly school girl when I read your articles.

You're hot (unfortunately you know it)

prime gambit's picture

There's this girl in the office that I chased very hard last year. And for about 10 months now, she has been shunning me publicly or make comments about something I'm doing in social events (friend's wedding, house blessing) without even a single eye contact to me. Last Friday, on the way outside the office, she and her closest female friend were walking while I trail a few steps behind them. The girl in question looked my way (just her head, her body still away because she's walking ) with a kind of neutral facial expression (not sure if its a smile) for about 10 seconds (or more) and then turned back to facing forward. I saw her lips saying something to her friend that the friend to turn to me (full body, while walking backward) and chatting me a few times which I responded non-verbally. She even said "goodbye" as if announcing to the other that I took a turn. Could you tell me if the girl I pursued a year ago was doing an approach invitation? Or is it a signal for me to back off so that I won't eavesdrop on them. Is it eye contact flirting? Thank you

Anonymous's picture

Hey....I have liked this girl,and I wanna start a conversation with her,but I cant figure out how.Also,my eyes can get cross-eyed when im directly looking at someone....PLZ HELP

Anonymous's picture

In eye contact basics. If you are confused on what order to do these in, think of each step as a prerequisite for the next. In other words, think in terms of "how do I do this" then glance at the next step, which will answer the last step. So each sequence of step precedes the last. Why do you want to learn eye contact basics? To gain attraction. Just like telling a story from end to beginning.

Anonymous's picture

Hi Chase,

Recently I was on a date with a girl, we were sitting across from each other at a table, and at one point we became engaged in a sort of staring contest. Our eyes were locked onto one another's and we weren't speaking. This created a lot of tension, but I wasn't sure how to break it in a positive way. I have the sense that I shouldn't try to wait for her to break first in this case, because I don't want to seem combative. But I also don't want to appear submissive from breaking eye contact. I ended up smiling slowly with my mouth closed and slowly turning my head to the side. I'm not sure if this was the right move. Would appreciate input, or alternate ways of ending the staring contest.

Thank you!

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