How to Start Picking Up Girls (Beginner Guide)

Girls Chase has been around for a long time. We’ve had over 64 million website visitors and have taught heaps and heaps of guys how to pick up girls, how to get girls, and how to keep them.

Personally, I have taught hundreds of men in the field and over the phone to do what I do and pick up girls that day or night – and I’ve taught tens of thousands more online.

At this point, we’ve had a few entire ‘generations’ of men come through, cut their teeth, get good with girls, and eventually move onto the next stages of their lives (where they are older and no longer so girl-crazed anymore).

Even still, we get loads of new guys arriving at the website, struggling to understand for the first time how to start picking up girls.

New guys have motivation problems (“How do I get myself to want to go out?”), approach anxiety (“How do I overcome this hesitation to approach?”), or experience information overload and can’t tell where to begin.

For that reason – for all the new guys just discovering this website, and for long-time readers who might have never really made ‘the plunge’ into picking up girls but have been itching to get going with it – here’s a guide to getting your start in the art of rapid seduction.

 

There are a few things anyone ought to know before he starts going out to pick up girls.

I had to figure these out over years of going out, failing, then eventually succeeding at pickup.

Hopefully by giving them to you right up front I can shorten the ‘how to pick up a girl’ learning curve for you.

Here they are:

1. The stuff most guys worry about is irrelevant. Most guys are worried about their looks, how tall they are, how rich they are, how cool or stable their job is, whether they are the right race, ethnicity, or nationality, if their friends are cool/high status enough, and/or whether their social media accounts are strong enough. None of this stuff is relevant for you in picking up girls. That’s not to say none of it has an impact. But because you cannot control any of it during the time you are with a girl seeking to pick her up, these factors are not relevant. The only thing worrying about them does is sabotage you.

2. The stuff guys SHOULD worry about gets ignored. Stuff like smiling, eye contact, posture, movement (i.e., your fundamentals) as well as teasing, flirtation, locking in, moving girls, isolating them, going for the close (i.e., your game) tend to get very little mental space in the heads of ordinary men chatting up women. That’s tragic, because this is the stuff that ACTUALLY makes a difference in the moment when you are trying to pick up a girl! This is WHERE your focus should be!

3. You’re going to get rejected a lot, but those rejections don’t have to sting. There are various ways to bring rejection down to minimal impact. These include using indirect game, looking for approach invitations, and conducting pings to test for interest before making a full approach. 80% of the women you see are in relationships at any given time. Even if you were the sexiest man in the world, you couldn’t pick up most of the women you see (yes, some attached girls may still be pick-up-able; but most are a bit too, well, attached). You must be prepared to wade through disinterested and unavailable women to find the girls you can pick up.

4. Most guys falter at pickup for similar, repeated reasons. They don’t move fast enough, they don’t commit to their pickups, they don’t calibrate to the girl, and/or they don’t ‘go for the gold’ with girls they are trying to pick up (i.e., they do not close). In other words, they go slow and half-ass it. If there is anything less enticing to a girl than a guy who half-asses his pickup attempt on her, I don’t know what that would be (maybe a guy who isn’t interested in her at all?).

If you stopped reading this article right here, and took only these few salient points away from it, but really took these points away from it, and reviewed them repeatedly, and deeply internalized them, in short order you’d be head and shoulders above 99.3% of men who go out on a Friday or Saturday night looking to pick up girls at a party or bar, or who chat up girls in shops, cafés, malls, beaches, gyms, train stations, and parks by day.

I’m going to give you a lot more to work with as we get deeper into this guide on how to start picking up girls – not to worry there. But I want to stress: the crux of pickup success is fixing these four errors; all the other stuff offers improvements on the margins.

Salient points covered, let’s get into the nuts and bolts of beginner pickup 101.

 

When I was new to picking up girls, many men put little thought into their appearances. Guys were focused to an excess on the importance of ‘what to say’. They neglected their appearances and wondered why they struggled to pick up on girls.

Today, two decades later, it’s the total opposite. Men today are focused to an excess on the importance of ‘how to look’. They go out looking beautiful, primp, preen, and pose, then cannot understand why women don’t glom onto them like nails to a magnet.

There are two elements to how girls see you:

1. How you look
2. How you behave

Ultimately, your behavior is the most vital part of the impressions you make on girls. However, before the approach, on the approach, and for the first minute or two of the approach, behavior is usually going to be less visible. For that reason, generally speaking:

• Your look has a bigger impact before the approach, during the approach, and through the first one or two minutes; meanwhile

• Your behavior has a bigger impact past the first one or two minutes.

 

Your Look

Your look consists of things you cannot control, such as:

• The bone structure of your face
• Your hair and skin type
• Your height

… of things you can control but that take time, such as:

• Your slimness and physique
• Your fashion sense
• Your facial hair style
• Your hairstyle
• Your grooming
• Your scent

… and of things you can control and can tweak on the spot, such as:

• Whether you smile
• Your level of eye contact
• Your posture
• Your movement
• Your body positioning
• Your facial expressions

All these things impact the attractiveness of your look. Attractive aspects can compensate for unattractive ones; a good-looking guy may get away with worse fashion and a basic haircut, while a guy with amazing fashion and spectacular hair will often dazzle girls even if his face is not classically handsome.

Beginners often get hung up on one trait they cannot change, blaming it as the sole or principle reason for their failure with girls… or they become obsessed with a few traits they can change, dumping much of their ‘seductive efforts’ into looksmaxxing these factors. Both are giant mistakes.

Your look is important. A good look gets you more approach invitations from girls and easier opening and easier hooks. But in real terms your look governs mostly only the first two minutes. Looks become less and less important the longer a pickup goes on – behavior takes precedence.

 

Your Behavior

For every ounce of effort you put into optimizing your look, you should put four or five ounces into optimizing your behavior. Behavior is how you:

• Show girls you are more than a handsome set of clothes and a well-coifed ‘do.

• Get girls to do the things you need them to do to help a seduction along.

• Stand out from other men who may be equally (or more!) aesthetically pleasing but less behaviorally adept with girls.

Most importantly, behavior is how you signal social dominance to women.

A girl who is open to being picked up is looking for a man who is a dominant man. She is looking for the guy with a lot more than looks on offer.

READ MORE: How Much Do Looks Matter for Romantic Success?

This does not mean being a rigid cartoonish super jock gorilla alpha male. Nor does it mean being the ultra-mysterious guy who is so cloaked in enigma that he doesn’t even talk to girls.

It means being cool, edgy, socially graceful, and genuine; a bit of an asshole, but in a cool way; it means being a tease, a flirt, and a guy who is both interested in her but also views her as a bit of a silly, cute girl.

All this goes into how you PRESENT yourself.

Presentation is key to attracting girls in.

It is also key to hooking them in and keeping them there.

You do NOT need an elite-level presentation to start picking up girls.

I was 35 pounds overweight with unfashionable clothes and a crummy $12 haircut when I started picking up girls. My voice was mumbly and harsh, I’d alternately be either too much of an asshole or else too nice, and I was about as graceful as a crocodile when it came to my socializing.

But I still picked up girls (albeit it was harder then!).

Everybody starts somewhere.

Except the guys who don’t start.

But those guys never get anywhere.

 

So you want to start picking up girls, and you know your look and behavior both play their roles.

But where do you GO to pick them up?

In pickup, excepting online game (which is sort of its own separate sub-category of pickup), you will basically have three (3) primary options:

1. Social circle
2. Night game
3. Day game

 

Places to Pick Up Girls from Social Circle

Most men are going to start trying to pick up girls via their social circles first.

It is where you are most comfortable. You may already have girls you’re flirting with there. It does not require any hunting or prowling around to find good spots. You can just go where you already go anyway and chat with the girls there.

Meeting girls via social circle has the advantages that it is slower-paced (thus easier for beginners), less reliant upon fast first impressions (again, easier for beginners), and is generally more forgiving of mistakes. Girls cut you a lot more slack when they know you socially.

The downsides of social circle of course are that you are limited to the girls you know socially, and there’s only so bold you can get with most girls publicly when you know them socially. There’s another downside, too, in that if yours is not a very sexual social circle, it can be hard to pick up a lot without ending up with a girlfriend (watch out for those Stage 5 clingers!).

You can chat up girls anywhere you encounter them socially, from classrooms and the office to cafeterias and networking events.

However, the best places to start picking up girls via social circle tend to be places where girls are:

• In very social moods
• More open to entertaining romantic suitors

This means avenues such as:

• Parties (one of the best)
• Group events like hikes or wine tastings
• Group trips (to the beach, ski slopes, or overseas)
• Other get-togethers like barbecues and bonfires

Important to keep in mind with social circle: most of the girls you pick up via social circle are going to be girls on the periphery of your social circle – not girls who are close to you. The closer a girl is to you, the more cautious she’ll be, and the more likely she is to hit the brakes.

Girls on the periphery of your circle have the right mix of trust (thanks to social connections) and distance (i.e., if something goes wrong it won’t blow up their whole circle) that hooking up becomes a lot more tempting to them.

You are going to want to frequent places and events good for social circle pickup at least thrice a week if you want to have an active pickup lifestyle.

 

Places to Pick Up Girls from Night Game

Night game is the name for picking up girls from bars, nightclubs, lounges, after-parties, raves, nighttime festivals, nighttime transit, even night markets and the street at night.

Night game pickup offers some clear advantages over other avenues:

• Women out at night go out specifically to socialize (and often meet new people).

• Women out at night tend to be more open in general to being picked up by a man.

• Because the ‘vibe is primed’, you are often going to have an easier time picking up.

• It is also easier to close girls from night game (than social circle or day game) – because there is more of a ‘hook up’ energy… and a lot less of “Maybe this guy is Mr. Right” thinking on the girl’s part.

• You will generally have higher volumes of women to approach in nightlife venues.

• The social atmosphere and relative anonymity of nightlife venues tend to help reduce approach anxiety for most men.

• Alcohol also helps lubricate things socially and disinhibit people around meeting new people – both you and her will generally feel more relaxed with a drink or two in your systems.

Of course, there are downsides too:

• You have more competition in night game than you do in day game or most social circles.

• Women can have high walls to meeting new people (especially once you reach the middle of the night and the sloppier/more aggressive drunk guys have started hitting on them).

• Because it’s anonymous, some women (i.e., the mean-spirited sorts) can feel free to mete out harsher rejections than they would dare in social circle or day game.

• Women in general are less forgiving during night game than any other type of pickup – you need to move fast and make the right moves, or you are likely to lose the girl.

Is night game for you?

The advantages are great – but you must be able to handle the disadvantages. If you can’t, you’ll fare better with social circle or day game.

Once you start going out to pick up girls at night, you are probably going to find that certain types of venues suit you better than others. You might be a dive bar guy who loves meeting down-to-Earth chicks at chill spots. You might be a lounge guy who likes to come across high status and run intricate verbal game. You might be a dance club guy who likes to run physical game with as few words as possible. You really won’t know for sure until you’ve sampled a range of venues.

I discuss differences between the many different types of nightlife pickup spots in my article on bar/club pickup.

READ MORE: How to Pick Up Girls in Bars and Clubs

 

Places to Pick Up Girls Doing Day Game

Picking up girls during the daytime offers unlimited flexibility to the aspiring pick up artist – presuming he’s able to overcome the heavy approach anxiety daytime pickup induces.

‘Day game’ is the name we give to all non-social circle approaching you do when the sun is high. Approaching girls in parks, libraries, shops, cafés, plazas, malls, campuses, transit, sidewalks, and the street all count. Meeting girls at monuments and tourist spots; at beaches and bays; at pools, tennis courts, and festivals; if the sun is shining, and you don’t know her through friends or your network, it’s day game.

The advantages of day game are many:

• You can meet every kind of girl under the sun. Unlike social circle (where you only meet the kinds of girls that belong to the circles you do) or night game (where you are far more likely to meet ‘party people’ types of girls), you’ll meet everyone by day – including girls who don’t go out at night and don’t maintain large active social circles or use dating apps (i.e., girls you’d be hard-pressed to meet any other way).

• During day game, it is just you and her – no friends to interrupt nor pull her away.

• Contacts via day game tend to be much more solid than contacts from night game.

• Integrated properly, you can meet girls as you go about your day, without having to carve out chunks of time for social circle maintenance or going out at night.

• Girls have lower approach walls during the day. It is generally easier to hit it off with a very beautiful girl by herself during day game than it is at night when she’s all dressed up, surrounded by friends watching her closely, and has been fending off male suitors for hours.

• Women aren’t used to getting approached during the day – the very fact that you’ve approached her is often an exciting and novel experience for a girl.

Day game also has some disadvantages:

• Because it is not a normal thing to approach strangers in public during the day, most men have heavier approach anxiety for day game than any other form of game.

• Indirect approaches (the most comfortable for most men to make) are harder to pull off naturally in many day game scenarios.

• It’s harder to pick up girls for same-day lays during day game than it is from night game or social circle parties – though it certainly can be done.

• Most girls will not be in ‘social mode’, meaning you will need to carry much of the interaction for the first few minutes – in fact, you may need to carry all of it from the opener up until you ask her out and take her number.

• The volume of eligible women to approach can be quite low in a number of places during the day. This problem gets worse in smaller towns.

That said, once you get past the initial hurdle with day game (i.e., all that anxiety you feel approaching an unknown woman in broad daylight in eyeshot of a bunch of strangers [“Are they judging you?”]), you unlock an outlet for picking up girls with unprecedented flexibility.

Picking up girls who are out shopping, girls waiting in line with you, sitting in parks and cafés, at beaches and pools, at malls, in transit, even conducting street stops on girls you see on the sidewalk – all these enter your repertoire of ways to pick up girls.

Ginning yourself up to start picking up girls via day game is arguably the toughest one to do.

But, succeed at it, and you can approach girls essentially anywhere.

 

Exploration: Figuring Out Good Pick Up Spots

Whether you choose social circle, night game, or day game, you need to find good spots to pick up girls from. Some spots are going to be much, much better than others.

Exploration is a vital element of this process. You have to visit good potential spots or gatherings, observe what kinds of women are in attendance, then actually talk to the women there and see how receptive they are. This is the ONLY way to find good spots/gatherings – learning about them online without visiting or visiting but only looking around without talking to girls does not count.

(good spots are often deceptive – they sound bad online or don’t look great in-person; but then you start talking to girls there and find out it’s easy to click with the cute girls present. Meanwhile some places may sound great on paper or look good when you first scout them out, but the girls all have sky-high walls or are all in relationships or some other obstacle to pickup shows up once you start talking to them)

You must follow the three steps:

• Visit potential spots
• Observe the crowd
• Talk to women there

See my free guide on niche hunting for more on finding great spots you can use to pick up girls from.

READ MORE: Finding Your Niche

 

By this point, you should have your look as dialed-in as you can get it in the short-term (e.g., you’re well-dressed, are maintaining good posture, have a smile on your face, are making decent eye contact, and showered and shaved). Your behavior is as dialed-in as you can get that short-term too (e.g., you’re acting playful and sociable, behaving cool, maintaining a little bit of a bad boy edge, not being too rigid but not being a pushover either).

You’ve also decided whether you’re going to start picking up girls via social circle, night game, or day game. You’ve done some exploring and found a spot or two that seems like it’ll work for what you need: a place with single women you can talk to and aim to pick up.

So what do you actually, you know, do?

 

Making an Approach

First thing is first: you need to approach a girl.

Having a decent approach process in mind before you start will help.

READ MORE: How to Approach a Girl Wherever You Are (Easily)

A solid process takes some of the edge off because you have a sequence you’re following to pick girls up; it isn’t just “go up to her and start talking and then…???”

Pick an opener or two you’d like to start with and just use that for now. Here are a few simple ones to get you started:

• “Hi there!” (yes, you can open with “Hi”)

• “How’s your day going?” or “How’s your night going?”

• “You are having way too much fun over here” (if she looks neutral or bored)

• “I love that coat/dress/scarf/hat/pair of boots!”

You can follow the 3-second rule to get yourself approaching and not frozen up in anxiety. The 3-second rule states that you must approach a girl within 3 seconds of laying eyes on her.

(wait longer than that and you risk freezing up and not approaching… or staring too long and making it weird)

You can use the warm-up approaches strategy to take some of the pressure off your first few approaches. The outcome of the first 3 approaches does not matter… they’re warm-ups!

You can cycle through openers (i.e., use multiple openers one after another) to solidify your open if you want to.

For instance:

YOU: Hi there!

HER: Hi!

YOU: I love that dress.

HER: Thank you!

YOU: You seem like you’re having way too much fun over here.

HER: [laughs] I really am.

YOU: So how’s your day going?

In this case, we used all four of our starter openers up above.

Now we have a not-half-bad start to our pickup.

 

Getting Some Banter Going

It’s very helpful to have a little teasing or some banter early on in a pickup.

This is how you show to girls – clearly – that “this is NOT a platonic interaction.”

(keep in mind, girls do not know for sure why you’ve approached. Plenty of guys will approach women, talk to them in totally platonic ways, then eject from the interaction, and the girl never knows for certain WHY the guy talked to them. “Maybe he was just being friendly,” they think)

I suggest that within the first 30 seconds of conversation you find at least one (1) thing to tease her on. Good items for this include:

• Out-of-season clothing items

• Over- or undersized clothes or accessories

• Her pouty, dismissive, or bored body language

• Her being a fish out of water

For example, if you approach a girl who looks bored, with her eyes rolled up, first get her attention and then mimic her body language. “This bar is SO boring!” you say to her, your arms crossed like hers, your eyes rolled up like hers. She’ll laugh. You just teased her.

Then you can switch to sincere conversation (“So why head to a place if you find it so dull?”) or a mock cold read (“So… you a regular here?”).

Or if you approach her and she has very baggy pants on, you might tease her with, “I’ll bet those pants are great for shoplifting. You can hide all kinds of stuff in there!” Or, “I hear when it gets windy pants like that allow you to float.”

Some girls respond very well to banter and will happily banter with you back.

Some will give you a polite laugh but not much engage with it.

With the girls who engage with banter, feel free to banter with them more – though not so much you make yourself a one-trick pony.

READ MORE: Tactics Tuesdays: Mastering Playful Banter with Women

For the ones who aren’t as receptive, try getting into some light chitchat and see if they respond to that better. Not every girl has a very ticklish funny bone.

This is also the point at which you are going to want to start screening and qualifying girls. Screening is where you ask them questions to see if they do/are what you like (“Do you cook?” “Are you adventurous?”). Qualifying is where you approve of (qualify) them for giving you an answer you like (“Oh, you do cook, huh? I love a skilled chef. What kinds of dishes do you make?).

 

Reach the Hook Point & Move Her

Once you’ve opened, bantered, and small talked a bit, your next aim is to reach the hook point.

This is the point in the conversation at which the girl decides she wants the conversation to continue MORE THAN she wants it to end. She is enjoying herself. She’s enjoying you.

Some signs you’ve possibly/likely reached this point:

• She begins to ask you questions about yourself.

• She begins to offer you lengthier / meatier responses to your questions.

• She turns more of her body to face you & focuses more on you.

• She seems less distracted around you (not looking around as much).

• Her body language toward you appears to relax.

• If you haven’t offered it yet, she may ask your name.

• She may check your relationship status, asking “Do you have a girlfriend?”

• She may ask who you are here with or what you are doing.

• Or she may test for sincerity, asking if you talk to lots of girls like this.

• She may ask about your clothing, accessories, or hair (or try to touch them).

All these are signs that she is interested and is hooked, or at least is close.

Once she’s hooked, you need to move her. This is how you get her to commit to an interaction with you. You can move her as little as a few feet over, though bigger moves are obviously stronger ones (so long as they are not so big she’ll resist the move).

An easy initial move is to tell her, “Let’s move over here, I don’t want us getting run over,” if you are standing anywhere that other people are walking around at. Or you can say, “Let’s move into the shade,” if it’s sunny or, “Let’s move a few feet, it’s a bit loud right here.”

You should also be aiming to build more compliance with her at this point, to deepen her investment in the pickup.

READ MORE: How to Get Her to Say “Yes”

 

Building Rapport & Sexual Connection

Once she’s hooked and you’ve moved her and built some compliance, you next need to begin building deeper rapport. You also need to create a sexual connection.

Deep rapport without a sexual connection feels like “a nice friendship.” It’s nice, but it isn’t sexy, and doesn’t lend itself to pickups.

A sexual connection without deep rapport feels like “a sexy exciting guy!” This guy’s energizing, at least until she comes to her senses (which will happen sooner or later) and she realizes she doesn’t know who this guy is. Then she bails.

You need both deep rapport and a sexual connection if you hope to pick up girls.

Deep rapport is easy to build with what I call deep diving. This is best done starting around 5-10 minutes into an interaction, once you are past the hook point, have already bantered back and forth a bit, have gotten a girl to comply/invest, and ideally have taken a seat with her. All you need to do to deep dive is to ask a girl a basic question, then keep going deeper. For instance:

1. “So you said you work in finance. Why’d you pick that field?”

2. “How do you like it?”

3. “How long do you think you’ll stay in it?”

4. “If you could do anything else in the world and get paid the same as you do now, what would it be?”

5. “How come you’re not doing that [whatever the other thing is] right now?”

You’ll get her talking about all kinds of deep and intimate feelings and motivations she doesn’t usually discuss with anyone else. She will very quickly start to feel you know her more than even her close friends and family – and that she (for whatever reason) trusts you deeply enough to reveal all this to you.

At the same time, you want to be building a sexual connection. You can most easily do this by using touch. You can also use chase frames, sex talk, or other ways to set sexual frames. You must do this to create sexual tension.

This stage is crucial to learning how to start picking up girls. Most guys who make it past the hook point and actually get girls to sit with them or move around with them mess up here:

1. Either they are very sexually stimulating guys who handle the sexual connection part well, but fail to connect emotionally with girls, leading girls to bail on them at some point when the spell breaks (and FSC kicks in)…

2. Or else they are very emotionally stimulating guys who handle the emotional connection part well, but fail to connect sexually with girls, leading girls to feel like they are great potential friends but that they don’t really feel a sexual/romantic ‘spark’.

You must get both these aspects of the rapport part of the courtship going if you want to start picking up girls successfully.

 

Pulling Her Home

Next we have pulling women home.

This is where you get girls out of wherever it is you met them and en route to your seduction location.

You MUST try to pull! Especially if you’ve been talking to her for a while!

You will never know what happens if you don’t try to pull. Guys who make it through the earlier steps but chicken out at the pull miss out on so many girls they could’ve picked up. It’s staggering.

Invite her home. See what happens.

If everything else has been going well the worst that will happen is that she won’t be ready… yet.

Just wait a few minutes, continue doing what you’ve been doing, then try inviting her again.

Once you’ve pulled her and she’s agreed, be sure to keep the conversation light and upbeat as you and her head toward your seduction spot. The pull is a common time for girls to get cold feet, but you can avoid this a lot if you keep the conversation relaxed and upbeat.

 

Escalation to the Close

Once you’re back at your place (or at hers) your first priority is letting her settle in and get comfortable.

After that, you need to join her, and not sit so far away that touching her or kissing her will be awkward. After all, this isn’t a platonic “let’s be friends” pickup. You picked her up for romantic and sensual ends! You must be close to her to accomplish that.

You will need to start escalating on her physically. You will need to overcome any resistance she has, too, about getting into bed with you. As you get better at picking up girls, you can learn to preempt a lot of this last minute resistance entirely.

Once you’ve slept with your first new conquest from pickup, congratulations – you’ve passed the first major achievement on the road to learning how to pick up girls!

 

As you go, it’s important to have goals for your improvement in the arts of seduction.

Talented pick up artists don’t become talented overnight. They become it over time, through repeated practice and refinement of their skill set.

Here are some goals to set for yourself as you seek to improve at picking up girls:

• Can you open at least four girls each time you go out to talk to girls?

• Can you open your first girl within 20 minutes of first heading out?

• Can you consistently find something good to tease girls on by 30 seconds in?

• Can you consistently screen girls on 2 separate items within the first 90 seconds?

• Can you consistently move girls within the first 2 minutes of conversation?

• Can you learn to ask out every eligible girl you talk to for at least 3 minutes?

• Can you invite every girl you talk to for at least 5 minutes to sit with or instant date you?

• Can you manage to both build an emotional and a sexual connection with every girl you get to sit and talk with you for at least 10 minutes?

• Can you invite home every girl you talk to for at least 40 minutes?

• Can you attempt to kiss every girl who stays in your place for at least 10 minutes?

You can set other goals, like specific techniques you want to try.

It is helpful to take several small goals out with you every time you go out to pick up girls.

READ MORE: Goal Setting

By doing so – and by consistently choosing goals that are achievable for you at your current level (and will not be too hard for you to achieve or demoralizing if you fail to achieve them right away) – you’ll find you continuously improve.

 

This is a guide on how to start picking up girls.

Sticking with it beyond the start is a separate matter. Nevertheless, it’s worth spending a few words on.

Some guys dive into pickup and get rapid early successes. Other guys try their hands at it and struggle for a while.

Either way, it is safest assuming that these beginner trends will not last.

The guys who erupt out of the gates with beginner’s luck and a few early victories tend to hit a stretch sooner or later where the results dry up and it feels like the magic has left them.

The guys who start out stymied by approach anxiety or bailing too early, or else fail to be able to move past a certain point with the girls they approach, won’t be stuck there forever, IF they persist.

Both guys will break through to the other side eventually. The ‘beginner’s luck’ guy who hits a rough stretch, if he sticks with it, will eventually start picking up girls with even greater consistency than he did in that lucky early streak – and this time his success will be much longer lasting.

The ‘rough start’ beginner will come into his own eventually – and once he does, he’ll have learned lessons and built a skill set around picking up girls that will never truly leave him.

The toughest part of any new skill set is in the beginning – during that initial early phase when every success is hard-won. Once you’ve been in it long enough to get your feet under you, it starts to get a lot easier.

For some tips on motivation, see the Motivation section of this website.

For sticking with pickup during that very initial early phase, you may want to check out my 100-hour rule.

Once you get that first success or two with pickup, you will never be able to fully walk away from it again.

You will always know you have within you the power to go out into the wider world and meet girls you’ll then take into your bed.

For now:

• Forget about the stuff you can’t control while with girls.

• Focus on the stuff you CAN control while with girls.

• Mind those reasons most guys struggle picking up girls.

• Follow the ‘how to pick up a girl’ process.

• Set small goals for yourself and aim to continuously improve.

… and you will begin to see successes roll your way (i.e., women rolling onto your arm… then rolling around with you later on back at your place).

Whether you choose to continue to develop the skill set, or get into a relationship with that first girl you hook up with off ‘the game’, OR you take your newfound skills and transfer them over to social circle or dates you meet off online, one thing is certain: these are skills you’ll be grateful you have once you have them – and skills that, once acquired, will last you a lifetime (though they can get rusty with unuse. So stay sharp!).

Yours,
Chase Amante