Tactics Tuesdays: Making the First Phone Call to a Girl | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: Making the First Phone Call to a Girl

first phone callThere used to be a time when from time to time I'd get a girl's phone number, and then I'd never talk to her again. No first text. No first phone call. Nothing.

Making that first phone call to a girl felt like the hardest thing in the world to do. I was a mess of nerves every time I had to do it. And sometimes I couldn't.

But you never know which one of those first phone calls might be one that'll set your life on a different path. There was a beautiful girl I'd met at a nightclub one night in the summer of 2006 with whom I swapped numbers, and, thinking about it the next day, I was almost too nervous to call. I took out my phone, and went to put it away; I knew if I didn't call her then, I'd never call her. But, unlike so many other occasions back then, I soldiered on and forced myself to make the call.

That beautiful girl from the nightclub I almost didn't call answered my call, and ultimately ended up becoming one of the most important people I ever had in my life and gave me the deepest relationship I've ever had.

And, because I'd been so afraid to call, I'd been a hare's breath away from missing it.

So how do you kick your fear to the curb and get yourself calling the amazing women you meet? How do you get yourself bringing these women into your life, instead of wordlessly letting them slip away?

Well, I devised a few simple, but handy, strategies in the intervening years to make sure that first phone call goes as smoothly, painlessly, and successfully as possible. And I'd like to share those with you here.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


Related Articles from GirlsChase.com


JC's picture

Hi chase, just had to say this was a great article. I enjoyed reading it. I have a few questions, which i believe are on many men's minds too. What if I call a girl and she doesn't pick it up there and then? What do i do with the possible scenarios (these are all that i can think of) that:

1. She returns the call at a later time.

2. She saw the missed call from me and texted me instead to ask what was it about.

3. She did not return the call at all.

Houseofjacques's picture

Hey Chase.

Seriously, I hate you now. I thought that in our day and age we could skip the first phone call and text straight up after getting a girl's digits. Turns out I have to call! I hate talking on the phone with just about everybody ! :(

Now, I've a question for you.
I was in boxing class the other day and a new face showed up, a girl looking to sign up for the class. I had a look at her and I was instantly smitten. Your blog has drilled something into my head: move fast, or lose the girl. There's no second chances. So I went up to her, talked her up, and got her number. I wasn't very smooth -I'm still a beginner- and I asked her number sort of out of the blue. And I left shortly afterwards. I truly had to leave, and she wanted to talk to the boxing teacher about something, so there was no way I could hang in there a little bit more.

However, I think I moved too fast. When I was getting her number, she straight up asked me, "Do you do this with every new girl?" Ouch. By being forward and quick, I came across as a player.

So this got me thinking, and then this article came around. Your philosophy is: get her number; send her a rapport building text; and then call her. Move fast, get results. But how could this work? I don't doubt your skills, man. But I feel there's something more to it, specially when beginner's do what you suggest. What is the key to making your approach be more balanced? My money's on building strong rapport on the first interaction. Get her laughing, ask her questions, get her to feel good. Then you can be forward. What do you think?

This girl, well, I've texted her twice and she's answered back. She seems interested in going out; she texted me today telling me about this and that and asked me to tell her when I was available. This is a strong sign of interest, and I'd be a fool not to act on it. Is there anyway to salvage my player-like approach? How can I get back into a position where it'd not be weird to call her?

Cheers, and thanks for your useful posts.

Tony D's picture

Hi Chase. Ynow I rarely call girls. I seem to get most of my work done through texting, but even there I keep it to a minimum.

But when I do call I am almost always walking. Even if I'm in my house I pace around.

Also it helps to call a friend to get socially warmed up.


cyclops's picture

hey Chase ,
You have explained wonderfully how to do the first call.......can u also give the demo call conversation wwhen it comes to the"actual asking her out call"..........Cyclops

sooton's picture

Hey Chase,
I have a strange situation and would like your advice,
I am an Israeli (american speaker though) living in germany for work, I recently met a very cute german girl at the mall who works at a cellphone shop, as soon as she found out im from Israel, she was chatting me up and the IOI's were flying all over the store, she couldnt stop smiling.
I asked her if she wanted to get a coffee sometime, and she said yes, when we are both free, she wrote down her number and made sure to write her name (which I forgot to ask at the time lol), and I gave her my number as well,
then I said "so i'll call you", and she replyed: "No, I'll message you when I'm free",
its been 3 days and I got no txt, I tried calling yesterday but phone was off (she was in class I guess),
what do you do in this situation? clearly she likes me, but should I have called her instead? maybe earlier? (day later instead of two), should I call her again this evening? or do you think she will txt back?

Love your site,

Jeff's picture

Is a phonecall at all helpful after a lukewarm first date?

alex brown's picture

I was in a boxing class one day, a new outlook, a girl wants signing class. I saw her, I was instantly smitten. Your blog drill things in my mind: the fast-moving, or lose the girl. There is no second chance. So I went to her to persuade her to get her phone number. I am not very smooth, and I'm still a beginner, I asked for her phone number to sort out the blue. I left soon. I really had to leave, the teacher something she wanted to talk about boxing, so I do not, may be in a little bit. http://www.dieselscan.com/

Anonymous's picture

So what you mean is, one call talk. And then next time a text to ask her out? Would also calling to ask her out do the trick?

Bobs's picture

And it's after 7pm and you still haven't called yet? Is it okay to call a girl after 7pm if it's raining then? I mean, chances are she's at the house since it's all wet and nasty outside....

Anonymous's picture

If its a new coworker, do I have to call as soon as I get the number? I see her almost 4 times a week because of our schedule at work. Is the first call important if she is already comfortable around me

z23's picture

this article feels a bit out of date, particularly in light of the 20 keys to texting article which is much more prominent than this one. Also considering getting the date before getting the number, this makes the entire premise of call to chat, then call next day (or 3 days later?!) for a date fairly irrelevant. What am I missing?

Add new comment

The Latest from GirlsChase.com