How to Be a Sexy Man | Girls Chase

How to Be a Sexy Man

Towards the end of 2008 and the beginning of 2009, I decided to focus my energies on a new thing I had to learn and get down: how to be sexy. I wanted to give myself a dangerous, edgy, exciting vibe, that compelled women to want me and desire me and be amenable to moving quickly with me. At the time, I didn’t really know how I was going to go about it, but I set to work on cracking the code of sexiness nonetheless.

Two years later, I bed women faster than ever, get strong initial attraction from most of the women I talk to, and get told all the time that I’m handsome, sexy, and good-looking. When I meet new women, they’re more likely than not willing to do as I command very early on in our interactions, and I can often suck them into an almost trance-like state of interest and desire. This was something I was doing only occasionally in early 2008, but am doing regularly and consistently now.

The process of how I went about revamping myself from a cool, friendly, neutral guy to a dangerous, edgy, sexy man is what I’m going to share with you in this post. So strap yourself in and let’s get you turning on some beautiful girls.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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James's picture

Have been continuing to read the posts here since finding the site two months ago and was just re-reading the one about paying for dates and a thought occured to me.

It seems like on most of the posts, if I'm understanidng you correctly, you make yourself the lover by dq'ing yourself as the friend or provider.

My question is whether dq'ing youself is the only way to make that clear or if there is something you can do to help ID yourself as the lover without/in addition to that approach.

I posted here because this seems to be the closest to answering that, but I'm not sure that most of the behaviors here are truly exclusive to the lover category.

Also random thought about walking with your legs wider, particularly if you point your toes out.... seems to me it makes your hips look narrower which in itself is considered more masculine, plus it makes your shoulders look broader then by comparison as well. Thinking this might be part of the reason for your noted reaction.

Chase Amante's picture

Hey James,

Yes, you hit on the two main approaches for ramping up your attractiveness as a candidate to be a girl's lover.

One of the ways is disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend. The other is increasing your sexiness.

In my opinion, both are useful, but have different advantages and disadvantages. They are:

Disqualifying Yourself as a Boyfriend or Friend

  • Easier to learn
  • Has a "floor" (go too low, and you become totally unrelatable and undesirable to have in a girl's life in any capacity)

Becoming a Sexy Man

  • Harder to learn
  • Has no real "ceiling" -- you can always find ways to exude more sex and sensuality and drive women crazier and crazier

There are certain things that overlap -- like a girl telling you you must make a great boyfriend and you staring at her really sexy and saying, "Suuuure I must," with a smile and a wink -- that's both very sexy and very disqualifying as far as you as a boyfriend is concerned.

But yeah, they're too paths to lover-hood. Disqualifying yourself is still useful, because until you get to very high levels of sexiness (relative to a girl's resistance to sexiness), if you qualify as a boyfriend there's a fairly high chance she'll overrule her desire and try to shuffle you into a long-term role. So don't discount, but you do have options.


Anonymous's picture

So recently I decided to try some online dating and I sent out many messages to girls I was interested in and today I got a reply back from one of them saying I looked like I was 6(I am 21). My mouth dropped open. I do get the age thing a lot and its been anywhere from 12 to 16 but I have never gotten 6 before. Anyway I can't yet get "sexy facial hair". Is there anything that can be done? I wear mature clothes and I actually have a voice that is quite deep so when I meet someone in person I am obviously not a young teenager. But my concern is that the girls I have messaged are seeing my photo assuming I am some bored middle school student or teenager yanking their chaines and therefore "passing me up"

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Anon,

That's tough when you can't grow out facial hair. Hmm... a few thoughts:

  • Play around with camera angles. See if you can get one where you're looking down and away, and it's a little dark and mysterious.
  • Or, try one where you've got one hand over your mouth in a thoughtful gesture, as though you're thinking deep thoughts. Maybe crease your brows a bit as you do.

Then, just nuke any other pictures on there. Only have the one or two where you can't really see your face all that much. If you get some mysterious pics where your full face is obscured, you might find you have better receptions.

Alternatively, don't worry about what girls are saying to you in online -- only if they're replying. If a girl teases you that you look like you're six, but she'll still meet up with you, it's still okay because she likes you. Remember that not every girl is going to be as socially savvy as you are -- some might still behave as if they were six -- and tease a guy that they like instead of being straight with him.


Goku's picture

Chase's reply to you basically advised you to compensate for your lack of facial hair. This is one of the few times I disagree with him...facial hair gives you man points but it's not necessary. There are other ways to get man points. Trust me, clean shaven guys can and do get girls. Rather than be ashamed of your lack of facial hair, just keep your fave smooth and develop a strong man's body by working out. is a great place to start, there is lots of info there about workout techniques, nutrition, and supplements.

Whatever you do, don't try growing out your facial hair if all you grow is a few wisps or a tuft. It's much more dignified to simply shave it all off. With tufts and wisps, you're saying you wish you had facial hair, but this is all you've got. By shaving it all off, you're saying you don't NEED facial hair, and you'd be right. To sum it all up, think of facial hair like tattoos. Tattoos can definitely enhance a man's sex appeal, but a man does not NEED tattoos to be sexy.

Anonymous's picture

don't disqualify yourself as bf, its more difficult that way. being carefree is the better way to go, she says you'd make a great boyfriend, you respond by a sexy smirk or smile and bite half your lip, then run your hand through your hair and look her in the eyes really sexy and say"maybe". Its so ambigious and also leaves room for possibility. you've made yourself hard to get and mysterious.

I agree with these. I'm a girl and i know what a guy could do to make himself much sexier. this is accurate. I'd be attacted to a guy like this. there is one other thing though. you have to seem like your not trying, going about it quickly is a good approach but there are a few things you could add. There is a good example of a very sexy men that anywomen would want. watch the real world cancun and the boy Joey is sexy as hell even though he's not that beautiful and then colin from the twilight series. that movie was absolutly horrible and the actor was pale and not even good looking but his attitude was so sexy that girls watch the movie just to see him. i watched part of it and im like wow that's so sexy. please have sex with me, take my virginity i don't care lol. I don't know why guys are so oblivious to this. most boys are so obnoxious.

Anonymous's picture

It's worth noting that girls' taste in guys varies much more than guys' taste in girls. I personally hate the "bad boy" type, can't stand tattoos or facial hair, and love guys who are genuinely nice and sweet, but that's just me.

Zimmer Remmiz 's picture

Sure you do...

Jimbo's picture

Was about to type the exact same comment.

Anonymous's picture

kindly elaborate on how to use your mouth and smile ?
What exactly are pursed lips ? Few pictures would be of great help.
And what about the smirk/smile thing ?

Crazyman's picture

Hey man, really great article! I really want to start applying these things to my life.

One question, how exactly do you recommend one change their voice? I'm still unsure with that after reading this article. Any specific role models to look up to in terms of voice?

Ultrahedonist's picture

As a woman who loves (good) casual sex (with sexy men), I wish it were more common for men to do these things you recommend, because sexy men are actually frustratingly hard to find. For most of us (men *and* women, myself included), being sexy does require quite a bit of conscious effort and work in terms of cultivating a good attitude and maximising your physical attractiveness. I think a lot of men simply don't realise they can increase their sexiness levels, another group don't have attracting women as a priority (which is fair enough), and then a lot have bought the idea that women just aren't very sexual and so don't see any reason to work on enhancing their sexual attractiveness. That leaves only a really small proportion who are either magically, naturally super-hot, or who have deliberately developed their sexual attractiveness. It's tragic! *Here I pause to give thanks to the universe for the sexy men I *do* know and get to fuck*

On one point I have to disagree though - I think a good conversation isn't focused on one of its participants, and I for one prefer perhaps a 1/3 each split of talking about him, me, and other issues & ideas. When a man I'm getting to know continually steers conversation onto me I often feel quite uncomfortable, and it generally comes across as very pick-up-y (in the bad way) and inauthentic. I also think that any woman who just wants to talk about herself constantly, well, kind of sucks.

Anonymous's picture

what if you are really close to a girl (family friends) and you really like her, i have read most of your other articles, and must say, they are very helpful, anyways, i was wondering, the family friend i really like only likes me as a friend, not as a "partner" and im really not sure what to do, iv actually thought about "using" other girls to get her to notice, but i just cant do that, as i respect women, not treat them like tissues, (use it and go to the next) can you please help!!!

Thankyou, please respond :)

Walls's picture

Hi, Chase. Although I've read your post on voice, I could use more help with it. Improving tone and depth would nice, and possibly on how to talk when nervous (sometimes, even the best get nervous.) My voice is kind of shaky and I sometimes have a hard time getting the desired tone or delivery. It's a very important fundamental, so this would be appreciated to say the least.


N.D.D.'s picture

What's up,

I am beginning to apply your physical methods and it's powerful, but there is something I'm confused about. How would you look sexy and powerful when you sit down in a chair, couch, etc?

Jeff's picture

This post is my new Bible. I'll post back in 6 months to let you know how things are going.

johny's picture

But what if you are ugly, and you know it? You can't be sexy if you are physically unattractive. Right?

Anonymous's picture


Then you will become rugged and handsome, regardless of how "ugly" you are.

Anonymous gay voice's picture

Hi Chase, I have a problem called gay voice. I am 100 percent straight, but i sound like a faggot. You can imagine its not very sexy, voice is 38 percent of communication. What can i do? Should i just take some steroids or something?

george789's picture

Hey Chase, this is one article I come back to a lot. You said here to watch movies with sexy men to hone our skills. The only one I can think of with a sexy man is "Crazy Stupid, Love".Could you suggest some movies?

Jimbo's picture

Any James Bond, basically.

terefe eticha's picture

I read all items written above and i would implement it in the future. I thanks very much!

Gavin's picture

Made very interesting reading.

I do feel concerned particularly for the younger generation since they are spending way too much time pissing around online dating sites. They just need to get out and meet women cold. Let's how you learn to build confidence and perfect the art of sexiness if you like. Not sitting around trying or tapping on your phone to someone you have only met online. Plus you are actually sacrificing that sexiness by being online in the first place.
This also goes for the girls

You cannot convey true sexiness online no matter how hard you try.

Yhaceed's picture

Hey man,

I'm not saying I'm not sexy or never was but I'm just starting out and I've read a lot of your articles (and actually tried to comment but it's not possible on my iPad it seems). And I've learned a few things in the past unfortunately not as much as I have in the past week or so. I'll say more in the forum section because it's just crazy what I've had to go through and what I've been seeing recently. I guess I'm just trying to saying thank you for now because at this point in the past week I have seen several girls turning their heads and looking at me so I think I'm doing something right. In addition to that I was at church this past Sunday after a long absence but not too long and the women were doting on me like are you looking for a wife and different things and one asked me for my number and they're all over 65 years old (way older than me) and have never done that before even though I've looked good in the past. My ex taught me a few things about clothing and bought the shirt I was wearing and so some of the credit goes to her but I've worn it before, worked out before, dressed nice before, etc but never got the comments like I did this past Sunday. I am blown away so just wanted to say thanks.

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