14 Simple Ways to Text a Girl and Make Her Want You

Don't know how to text a girl you like? Copy these texts and send them to her to get her excited and ready to go out with you.

You get a girl's contact info. Which is perfect, because you already know exactly how to text a girl. You know what to text her. Even when to text it.

You slide out your phone and tap a quick message in. You hit "send."

Soon after, a response arrives. It's her! She seems thrilled to hear from you.

Not only that, but she is eager to meet up with you. In person.

You set up the date. Now her and you get to meet. It's no longer a digital romance: you've moved things into the real world.

This is the goal of every text you send a woman. It's not to have a fun conversation with her (though you'll do that too). It's not to flirt. It's not even to turn her on. It's to get her out in-person, where you can do all that other stuff so much better. You would rather have her right there with you, where you can touch her, sit near her, and hear her tinkling laughter, wouldn't you?

This article is your easy-to-use guide on how to text a girl and make her want you.

Throughout it, I have more and better text examples for you than you will find anywhere else. You can copy + paste these texts, or use them as guide rails to write your own. You'll also get to understand the psychology behind why these texts work. Once you know why the texts work, it's easy to adapt how you text girls to new situations.

First, a few rules before we start:

1. Your goal when you text a girl is to get her to meet in person

2. When you text, you must be brief, yet cover the important stuff

3. Long conversations are best done in-person, not via messages

4. You can only truly show two attractive traits over text: a.) confidence and b.) social savvy. Trying too hard to show any other trait (like sexiness, adventurousness, or niceness) moves you further from your goal and hurts your chances with her... so keep your eye on the ball and get her out in person (where you can then show all your other great traits)

I've placed the texts in this article roughly in the order you'll send them.

Follow the game plan, and you'll text a girl out with you, happy to see you, within a few days of meeting her -- or even sooner than that.

Obligatory note: the texts below are reconstructions. I'm not so sleazy as to out real (and awesome!) chicks on here. Please treat these as teaching aids.

 

Text
1

Icebreaker Text

🕐  When to send: 0.5 to 4 hours after you first meet

The Icebreaker is the first text you send a girl.

You send it to her soon after you grab her contact info.

The purpose of the Icebreaker is to get her comfortable talking with you over text. It's crucial to do this fairly soon after you grab her details. Even if she was very comfortable with you in-person, if you wait too long to message her it may feel awkward for her when that first text finally comes through.

Every Icebreaker Text should follow a few simple rules:

1. It should be short and cheerful

2. It should ask no questions

3. You should sign your name

A good Icebreaker Text looks like this:

Or like this:

The girl you message doesn't need to respond to this text. It's nice if she does, but not vital. If she doesn't respond, you're fine. You only send this text message to break the ice, not to kick off a conversation.

If the girl you text responds to your Icebreaker, unless she's very inviting, you don't need to respond. A response like to your Icebreaker does not need a reply from you:

Here she's being nice or polite and returning your Icebreaker. Don't say anything in response for now... but don't worry, we'll text her again soon.

If (as in the above case) you won't text her again that day, proceed to Text 4: Standard Scheduler Text).

However, if:

1. She responds in a very inviting way, OR

2. She asks you a question about meeting soon, OR

3. You and her talked earlier about meeting again the same/next day

... then you should follow up by texting her to see if she'll meet. For instance:

In this case, she's excited to meet you again. You should follow up to see if she's available today (go to Text 2: Same Day Date Text) or tomorrow (go to Text 3: Next Day Date Text). She may not be, but if she is you'll be glad you got her out when she wanted to see you!

If you get a response like this, where she asks about your schedule:

Again, you should follow up (go to Text 2: Same Day Date Text). She's checking your schedule today (which is what that "when are you done with your errands?" question is). She may just be being polite. However, it may also be an invitation to ask her out that day. Women will rarely ask you out directly. Instead they give subtle hints that you should ask them out instead.

If she doesn't respond in a very inviting way to your Icebreaker Text, or she doesn't ask a question about your schedule or when she'll see you again, and the two of you did not talk about meeting again the same or next day before you grabbed her contact info, go to Text 4: Standard Scheduler Text.

Otherwise, if you think you can meet her today, keep reading and let's talk about how to text a girl you've just met to show up for a date that day.

 

Text
2

Same Day Date Text

🕐  When to send: immediately after a warm Icebreaker response

If after you text a girl your Icebreaker Text, she:

• Responds in a very inviting way, or

• Asks about meeting soon

Or you and her had already discussed linking up again that day or night when you took her contact info, then send her the Same Day Date Text.

A woman who likes you now and is available now may not feel the same way later. Or she may not be available later. If there's a chance to meet her and make something happen now, go for that - don't put it off.

To write a Same Day Date Text, you'll just:

1. Tell her when you're available, then

2. Ask if she's free to meet up that day

Here's what a typical Same Day Date Text looks like:

Note how you word this text:

• "Drink/food" so she can choose what she wants. If she's hungry, she can choose food. If she's not hungry she can say "How about drinks?"

• "This afternoon or tonight" so she can tell you when during the rest of the day works for her. If she's available now, she can say "How about now?" If she's available a little later she can say "I could do tonight"

Unless she told you earlier she's free all day (and it can be useful to check her availability for this while in-person with her if you think to do it), you usually want to include options. This gives you a higher chance she says "yes."

If she says "yes" to your Same Day Date Text, go to Text 5: Proposal Text.

If she says "no", go to Text 6: No Worries Text.

Pretty straightforward, right?

If you talked earlier (when you grabbed her contact info) about meeting up later that day, your Same Day Date Text should take that into account:

Since you talked about drinks with her earlier (before you grabbed her contact information), you can refer back to that in your text.

You still leave a bit of wiggle room here: "I'm good right now if that works (or a little later is okay)" so she can choose between the options of now or later.

If you just text her "I'm free now" and she isn't free now, she's likely to say sorry, she can't make it -- even if she could've made it later. She doesn't know you're free later (if you don't tell her), and most women won't pry. She'll just turn you down instead. So you add in that "(or a little later is okay)" as your insurance policy... if she isn't free now but is free later, she can take that option instead.

Next up, we'll talk about messaging girls to meet the next day (rather than today).

 

Text
3

Next Day Date Text

🕐  When to send: the same day you send your Icebreaker Text

Sometimes you'll meet a girl, and you'll have already checked her plans for today and know she's booked. But the two of you hit it off and you'd like to see her as soon as you can.

Or a girl might respond with warmth to your Icebreaker Text, but you are booked... there's no way you can fit her in today.

What you need to know for these scenarios is how to text a girl for a date the next day.

The two ways to do this:

• If you both hit it off but one of you is not free tonight: in this case, after your Icebreaker, regardless whether she responds or not, shoot her your Next Day Date Text.

• If she responds to the Icebreaker in a warm way but you'd rather try for tomorrow: whether because it's too late to go for today (although if her response is hot enough, it's never too late in the day! Not all warm responses will be that piping hot though) or today doesn't work for some other reason. Send her your Next Day Date Text.

You'll use these elements to structure your Next Day Date Text:

1. A greeting ("Hey", "Hey [name]", "Howdy [name]", etc.)

2. A positive comment that lets her know why you want to meet her so soon ("I had a great time talking with you", "Was really fun to chat with you", "Really dug connecting with you", etc.)

3. A schedule check (see Text 4: Standard Scheduler Text for more details on how to word schedule checks)

4. An option/wiggle room, preferably also offering time today in case she's free today and wants to meet

Here's an example Next Day Date Text when she hasn't sent an Icebreaker response but you otherwise had a good connection (and want to see if you can do something with her soon):

One little trick to note: going to a statement ("Could also do later if early doesn't work") right after the question ("How's a bite tomorrow sound... brunch maybe?") assumes the sale to a degree. This structure makes her feel almost as if she's already agreed the date will happen (and now you just have to sort the details).

If she says "yes", go to Text 5: Proposal Text.

If she says "no", go to Text 6: No Worries Text.

Again, pretty straightforward stuff.

Now.

The majority of the time you text a girl after meeting you will not be texting her onto a date that day or the next.

Instead you are most often going to text girls to set a date up with them later that week or the next week.

So let's take a look at what your usual date text will look like... that's our Text 4: Standard Scheduler Text.

 

Text
4

Standard Scheduler Text

🕐  When to send: 1-4 days after your Icebreaker Text

Most of the time when you've grabbed a girl's contact info, you'll follow up with a Standard Scheduler Text. We'll just call this the Scheduler for short.

The Scheduler is your go-to text for getting a girl's initial agreement to a date with you. Scheduling is a critical step you don't want to skip. When you check a woman's availability before you propose the date itself, the odds she agrees to go out with you go up [1].

The Standard Scheduler Text has four parts:

1. Greeting with her name
2. Consideration for her
3. New information about you
4. The schedule check & date request

A few details on each, to help you understand the 'why':

• You always greet at the start of a new messaging conversation, and you always use her name. If it's the first message of a new message conversation (e.g., not a continuation of an old series of back-and-forths, but a new thought/proposal), greet her. You also want to use her name, because that reassures her this is not a mass text and it isn't copy + pasted (possible irony alert). This is you speaking directly (and personally) to her. Her name in the text also makes her feel less comfortable about ignoring.

• You always show consideration for her based on what you know about her. Ask her how that thing she told you about went, and express your hopes it went okay. This shows her a.) you know more about her than a random stranger does, and b.) you're on her side and want the best for her. The result is higher trust toward you, which raises her attraction to you [2], makes her more comfortable responding to you, and makes more likely to agree to a date.

• You always share some information about yourself. When a new conversation begins, it starts with people asking how one another are, and often sharing a few things about themselves to bring each other up-to-speed. If you only talk about her and reveal nothing about yourself, it feels like a breach in social etiquette. To get around this potential pitfall, share a quick snippet of something recent and slightly interesting or amusing about your life.

• You always ask for her schedule, and tell her why you're asking. You should always check her schedule before you pick a time. This lets her tell you when she's free (so she doesn't have to shoot you down if you pick a time she isn't) and generally makes her feel the date is a mutual thing. It's another way to show consideration for her, too (and hence, raise trust -- and likelihood of getting the date). At the same time, you must also tell her why you want to know her schedule, so she can decide that yes, she'd like to tell you when she's free. If you don't tell her why (for instance, that you want to know when she's free so you can grab food or a drink with her), it feels like you're concealing the reason, which lowers trust... and in general, people don't like to agree to activities until they know roughly what those activities they're agreeing to are.

So, again, include these four parts:

1. Greeting with her name
2. Consideration for her
3. New information about you
4. The schedule check & date request

That looks like this:

Here's the breakdown on that Scheduler Text:

1. Greeting: "Hi Olivia"

2. Consideration: "hope your Monday presentation went well and you floored the teacher ;)"

3. New information: "I got yanked into a Monday presentation for work myself... so I was with you in spirit!"

4. Schedule check / date request: "What's your schedule like this week for that bite or drink?"

Another example:

The breakdown on this Scheduler Text:

1. Greeting: "Hey Sadie!"

2. Consideration: "Hope the visit to your folks' went excellently (and no scandals or untoward drama!)"

3. New information: "My boating trip Sunday was incredible. I might have to quit work and become a seaman"

4. Schedule check / date request: "So: that food or drink we talked about - what's your schedule like this week to grab it? :)"

Note the signature at the end of the text here (even though there was a signature in the earlier text too). This is optional, but if it's been a few days (3.5 in this case) it's often good to do... you never know if she still has your last text or saved your contact information or not. No harm throwing it into the second text you send her if it's been a little while.

That's all you need to send: just a greeting, a little consideration for her, some new information about you, and the schedule check & date request.

If she says "yes", you'll proceed to the next text, Text 5: Proposal Text.

If she says "no", then proceed to Text 6: No Worries Text.

First, let's talk about what to do if she says "yes."

 

Text
5

Proposal Text

🕐  When to send: after she confirms she can meet, that or another day

The Proposal Text takes two (2) forms:

1. Single Text Proposals, and

2. Multi-Text Proposals

We'll discuss both below.

Once you've made your proposal and she's accepted, you'll proceed to Text 10: Confirmation Text. Our other texts before we talk about confirmation are your contingency plans; that is, what to do if she says "no."

For now, let's talk proposals.

 

Single Text Proposals

This is how you'll usually respond to the girl's response to a scheduling text (like the Standard Scheduler Text or the Same Day Date Text), provided she gives you times she can meet.

When you text her for her availability and she gives you times she can meet, your Proposal Text will be just one (1) text. Your proposal text will contain:

1. A positive response to the time's she's sent,

2. Which date and time you've chosen from the windows she's given you, then

3. Where you'll meet, and finally

4. Where you'll go / what you'll do

That looks like this (Proposal Text is the last text in this example):

The process in the above text conversation is:

1. You send her the Scheduler Text

2. She responds with her general availability

3. You ask for more details on her availability on the day you think you want

4. She tells you what hour she's free

5. You propose the day (tomorrow), time (7 PM), activity (cool little places), and the meeting spot (7th and Broadway) -- this last text is the Proposal Text

In this case you needed a clarifying text to know exactly when she's free the next day, since she only said she could do "tomorrow for drinks." That probably means evening but you want to avoid picking a time and having her tell you that's too early or late for her.

Important note: when a girl tells you when she's free, you should almost always try to schedule the date right near the beginning of that time. This gives you the maximum amount of time you can get with her.

Sometimes she might schedule something after your date with her, and will leave early. But often she won't schedule anything later than your date. If you meet her at 9:30 PM, you may only have an hour with her before she has to leave to get ready for bed. If you pick 7 PM with the same girl though, you get 3.5 hours. That's a lot more time with her to make beautiful things happen.

So, generally, try to meet earlier into any windows she gives you than later.

The structure for the Proposal Text above is:

1. A positive response to the times she's sent ("Perfect")

2. Which date and time you've chosen from the windows she's given you (in the case above, "Let's do 7 PM then", after having previously asked about her free time tomorrow -- so it's "7 PM tomorrow")

3. Where you'll meet ("We can meet at 7th and Broadway and walk from there")

4. Where you'll go / what you'll do ("some cool little places nearby" for the drinks she said in a previous message she could get with you)

Here's another example, in response to her response to a Same Day Date Text:

The structure for this Proposal Text is:

1. A positive response to the times she's sent ("Perfect")

2. Which date and time you've chosen from the windows she's given you ("I'm about 10 minutes away")

3. Where you'll meet ("Let's meet over at 5th Street and Main")

4. Where you'll go / what you'll do (not stated in this text, since "those drinks we wanted to get" is clearly stated the previous Same Day Date Text)

That's the Single Text Proposal. You'll use it for most scenarios where you know from your scheduling text what times she can meet.

But what do you do when she gives you a general availability window, and you don't know exactly what time she can meet?

 

Multi-Text Proposals

When you ask her for her schedule yet you don't get exact to-the-hour availability, you'll need to use a Multi-Text Proposal. This splits your proposal up into two texts; namely:

1. You'll propose the time in one text, then

2. Once she accepts your time, you'll propose the meet location in the next text

Here's an example in response to a Same Day Date Text where she doesn't give you the exact time she can meet:

Here, the process was:

1. You asked her to meet this afternoon or tonight in a Same Day Date Text

2. She said she could meet tonight

3. Since she gave you a general window, but not a specific time, you propose the time first. In this case, you said "Let's say 6 o'clock? Or do you need later." This was the first part of your Multi-Text Proposal (proposing the time)

4. She confirmed she was free the time you proposed

5. In the next text, you propose where you'll meet and where you'll go / what you'll do ("How about we meet at 7th and Broadway? Some really cool places in easy walking distance from there")

You need to break the proposal up into multiple texts because she may not be available the time you propose. If you send a big text proposing a time, meet location, and activity and she has to push back on the time, she may feel like she's pushing back on the entire proposal.

Instead, you split it up. You float a time ("6 o'clock"), and give her the option to do later ("or do you need later").

Minor note: note there is only one question mark in the time-proposal text. That's by design; use too many question marks and you can make a text feel needy. One question mark is all you need here -- it does the trick just fine.

Here's another example, this in response to a girl pinging back after a Ball In Your Court Text (which we'll talk about later in this guide):

The flow in this instance goes like so:

1. She messages to let you know she's available

2. You tell her you're thrilled to hear from her, and take the reins: when is she free?

3. She tells you she's wide open (a very good sign!), but doesn't give you specific to-the-hour availability... so you're going to need a Multi-Text Proposal

4. Next, you give her some options for time and date: tomorrow at 8 PM; Saturday at 5 PM; or tonight. This is the first text (the time/date text) of your Multi-Text Proposal

5. She confirms for tomorrow at 8 PM

6. Because she's so eager to see you, you decide to see if she'll come straight to your place... or if you need to meet her in public first. So you ask if you'll be doing drinks in a bar or hanging out (implied to be at your place)

7. She suggests the bar

8. So you propose the activity ("a cool little bar with a really neat atmosphere") and the meet location ("7th and Broadway and walk from there"), the second part of your Multi-Text Proposal

Had you tried to do it all in one text, and told her in response to her "Let's meet up!" text something like "Cool, how about tonight at my place?" she likely would've bailed.

But by splitting it up and giving her options along the way, on date/time and then after on location/activity, you secured the date with her in a way she's highly likely to show up for.

There's another advantage to stretching the proposal out across several texts like this, too, especially with a girl who's been flakey (like a Ball In Your Court girl typically will have been): as she responds to more of your texts and works to set the date up, she invests more into the date and commits herself more to it happening. [3]

Simply by splitting your proposal up like this, you make her less likely to flake on the date, and more likely to show up.

So that's Proposals.

Once she's accepted your proposal, proceed to Text 10: Confirmation Text.

But not every girl will give you an instant "yes" when you ask her out over text.

Sometimes you will text a girl out on a date, only to get a "no."

When you get a no, you must handle it as coolly and calmly as possible to keep things alive so you can take another shot with her later.

The way you do so is with Text 6: No Worries Text.

 

Text
6

No Worries Text

🕐  When to send: after she declines a date request

Whether you sent her a Same Day Date Text, a Next Day Date Text, or a Standard Scheduler Text, sometimes she is just going to tell you she's not free for a date.

This can also happen later on into the process (though usually only if you make a mistake). You might be in the midst of a Multi-Text Proposal Text when she withdraws her date availability... that can be painful (it won't happen much if you follow this guide).

Regardless when it occurs, you must respond to date declines / zero availability texts with calm, measured, cool responses. Your aim is to come across as if you have a hundred other women you can easily meet, though you still like and value her. Coming across cool and calm enough will not only preserve your options with her for later, but it'll usually make you look pretty darn good too. Lots of guys flip out, get needy, grow bitter, or, alternately, act like doormats here.

There are three (3) kinds of No Worries Text you can send:

1. Basic No Worries Text, for when she doesn't give you much

2. Counteroffer No Worries Text, for when you think a counteroffer might work

3. Considerate No Worries Text, for when you sense she definitely likes you and does want to meet but is too genuinely busy, so you want to give her a little consideration before you close out this round of texting

Here's how each of these works and when to use them.

 

Basic No Worries Text

This is your bread-and-butter "no worries, another time" text.

If you have only one way to text a girl when she says "no" to a date, use this one.

The text has only two parts:

1. The "no worries" part, where you tell her it's no big deal

2. The "we'll connect later" part, where you let her know you'll talk with her another time (so she doesn't mentally close the book on you)

Here's one example:

That's all it has to be.

• "Sure, no biggie. We'll connect later on"

• "Sure, no problemo. We'll figure it out later"

• "Sure, that happens. I'll check in with you later"

Anything like this will work.

You let her know it's not a big deal for you... but also let her know not to close the book on you, either.

 

Counteroffer No Worries Text

If you feel like she hasn't totally shut the door on you with her date decline, and it seems like the decline is limited only to a certain period of time, sometimes it's worth checking her schedule again then and there.

In this case, you'll tell her "no worries" about the time she's declined -- then ask her immediately about another. Like this:

Because she's so positive in her response (laughter, exclamation points, generally a good vibe) and because her lack of availability is limited (only to weeknights this week), it makes sense to take a stab at the next logical windows: the weekend and next week.

So you:

1. Tell her no worries ("Bummer")

2. Commiserate with her ("Well I guess work's getting as much out of you as it can ;)")

3. Schedule-check her for the weekend and next week

You won't use this one a huge amount, but for situations where she's a little bubblier with you and her lack of availability is constrained, the Counteroffer No Worries Text can sometimes produce results.

 

Considerate No Worries Text

This version of the No Worries Text works similarly to the last text (the Counteroffer No Worries Text), in that you commiserate with a girl who's being genuine with you in her decline text.

However, you don't counteroffer here (often because she's busy and you don't want to cause stress right now -- you'll talk to her a little later anyway, once she's under less pressure).

That looks like this:

Since she gives you such a long explanation, and is clearly under a lot of pressure, the best thing here is just to show her you get it, and reassure her it's not a big deal and you'll connect with her after the pressure is off her.

So the text structure goes:

1. No worries ("Cool, cool")

2. Commiserate ("I remember college still (vaguely!). Well you handle those presentations")

3. We'll connect later ("We will connect after you're done")

Those are your three types of No Worries Text.

What do you do after the No Worries Text is sent?

Well, you put her contact info on ice for a bit and don't talk to her for a few days.

Then, once a little time's passed by, you send her the Scheduler II Text.

 

Text
7

Scheduler II Text

🕐  When to send: 4 to 7 days after your first No Worries Text

You asked her when she's free. She said she didn't have free time. You told her no worries.

What should you do next?

Should you text her every day to ask how her day is going?

Should you send her flirty messages to make her more attracted?

Should you shoot her interesting photos that chronicle your week?

No. You should go radio silent and not message her until you're ready to check her schedule for another date.

This is for one clear, specific reason: you want her to know the only way she can enjoy your presence and attractive qualities is if she comes to meet you in person.

If you did a good job with her while you were in-person with her (i.e., you made a good first impression), this is usually all you need. If you didn't make a good first impression, you will not solve that with photos or texts. Attraction is primarily based on what she feels while interacting with you in the moment you express it to her and she expresses it to you, not what she feels from reading words or looking at pictures you send her.

If you feel like you didn't make a good enough impression with her in-person to get her to meet up, call her. Phone calls allow you to convey so many more attractive qualities than text it's almost unbelievable. In-person is best, but since you can't magically appear right next to her (and it'd be kind of creepy if you did), but you can magically make the device in her purse vibrate with your aural salutations, it's the next best thing.

(I know, I know... you think calling is intrusive and no one does it anymore. A lot of guys on our discussion forum have said that too -- but once they started calling girls, they discovered it was so much fun, girls were impressed because nobody does it anymore, and they started lining up dates with women they thought they'd lost over text. Give calling girls on the phone a try -- it really does work wonders, and can resurrect dead courtships)

So: the Scheduler II Text.

You'll send this four to seven days after your last No Worries Text, unless there's some reason to text sooner (like she asked you to check in with her sooner) or later (like she's going on a trip for three weeks).

The Scheduler II Text looks exactly like a Standard Scheduler Text -- you're just sending it half a week to a week after your last round of schedule checking, is all.

Here's an example:

Four days after the first No Worries Text, you send another scheduler text.

Just like any good Standard Scheduler Text, this text contains four parts:

1. Greeting: "Howdy Ellie!"

2. Consideration: "Hope the week's gone awesome and the gym's been kind to you :D"

3. New information: "I had a friend in town to visit - good times, awesome friend"

4. Schedule check / date request: "How's your schedule looking this weekend or next week for that bite or drink?"

The "Anyway getting back to texting you now!" bit there serves as a linkage between the New Information bit and the Schedule Check bit. You don't have to have a linkage like this, but sometimes it makes the text work better by giving a little rationale for why you're texting her now.

Here's another Scheduler II Text example:

Like the last example, this Scheduler II Text contains the four parts:

1. Greeting: "Howdy Olivia"

2. Consideration: "how'd all those presentations (and the do-over) do last week - you finish them all up?"

3. New information: "I have a trip coming up in the next few days (to warm and tropical locales!)"

4. Schedule check / date request: "Schedule any clearer this week for drinks/grub/etc.?"

Also like the last example, this Scheduler II Text contains a rationale linkage between the New Information bit and the Schedule-Check bit (linkage: "but I hoped to connect with you before I left").

Now here's an example that bends the rules a bit and leaves out one of the Standard Scheduler parts:

Only three of the usual four parts present here:

1. Greeting: "Howdy Sadie!"

2. Consideration: "Hope you haven't died from overwork yet ;D"

3. New information: (left out)

4. Schedule check / date request: "LMK what your schedule looks like this week... we'll plan out drinks to help you unwind"

In this case, because there's so little message content before and because the girl has not been very chatty herself, you leave out the new information about you -- you're not sure she cares about you much yet, and you don't want to blast her with too long a text.

So you bend the rules a little here and skip the third piece.

Usually you will not want to do this. You usually want all four parts of the scheduler text there.

However, sometimes it can make sense to bend the rules... once you understand what they are and have the instincts to know when to bend them and when not, that is.

Until you have those instincts though, include the four parts every time.

Now, if she says "yes" to your Scheduler II Text, go to Text 5: Proposal Text and set up the date.

However, if she says "no" again, send her a No Worries Text, then proceed to Text 8: Scheduler III Text.

 

Text
8

Scheduler III Text

🕐  When to send: 4 to 7 days after your second No Worries Text

If she's declined two dates in a row from you, you'll still follow the same steps as with the Scheduler II Text.

Don't run around trying to attract her more over text. Don't get into long text conversations.

If you feel she isn't comfortable with you or interested enough yet, do call her on the phone. It is far, far easier and more effective to get women comfortable with and interested in you over the phone than it is by sending them lines of text. The phone is your best bet for rekindling things with a woman it's died out with (or one it never got going in the first place with).

You can go right into another scheduler text if she declines your previous attempt but leaves a potential window open:

Usually though your third scheduler text will be a more Standard Scheduler-style text, with the four scheduler parts.

One difference with many Scheduler III Texts is you will often want to change the sort of date you offer. If you offered drinks/food in your first two scheduler texts, you'll offer something else now.

Changing up the date offer prevents your date requests from growing stale.

It also gives her a different activity to latch onto and do with you, in case the activity itself was the thing she was objecting to previously.

Here's an example of a classic Scheduler III text:

Note the parts:

1. Greeting: "Hola Olivia!"

2. Consideration: "Hope you survived your busy patch :)"

3. New information: "I'm back in town, should be here for a while." "The trip to warmer climes was refreshing, but I'm actually glad to be back somewhere cooler. Only so much warmth you can take!"

4. Schedule check / date request: "Let me know if you have a window where you're not super busy this week or next week. We can plan something fun to bounce back from all that busyness... like an escape room maybe (ever been to one of those?) =) Or just to drinks/bite if that's easier"

This message is pretty long, but it's necessary here. It's okay because the dialogue with the girl was good in prior messages. Also it's been eight days since the last message, and you need to bring her up to speed on what's been going on with you (the trip), let her know you're back for a while, then check her schedule and pitch a date idea with options.

The date idea in this case is an escape room -- but you keep food/drinks there as a backup option too, just in case.

Easy backup options are crucial to how you text girls, because not every girl will go for the fun, exciting dates, even if they've previously turned down the more relaxed dates. Giving her the choice lets her choose either the exciting option or the relaxed one, which raises the odds she says yes.

If she says "yes" to your Scheduler III Text, proceed to Text 5: Proposal Text.

If she says "no", it may be time for the Ball In Your Court Text.

 

Text
9

Ball In Your Court Text

🕐  When to send: 5 to 45 minutes after she declines a Scheduler III Text

If she's turned you down on three consecutive date requests, it may be time to throw the ball in her court.

Before you do this, it's often prudent to try call/text switching first. What call/text switching is is switching back and forth between phone calls and texts. That works like so:

• She declines your date request over text
• Next time, rather than text her, you call her on the phone
• If she declines your date invite over the phone, you go back to text
• If she declines another text invite from you, you go back to the phone

Call/text switching works because it shakes up the routine and gives her multiple different ways to interact with you. Women who won't agree to dates with you over text often will over the phone -- so if you really want to get this girl out with you, make sure you try this method if you need it.

You can read the article on call/text switching for full details on how to use it.

For now, we'll assume you tried that and it still did not work, or you didn't want to bother with calls because they're not convenient for you or you're not into this girl enough to want to bother to talk to her on the phone.

So here's how a Ball In Your Court Text works:

1. She declines your date request again, for the third time

2. 5 to 45 minutes after her decline, you shoot her a Ball In Your Court Text

3. You then don't contact her again until she contacts you first

The third rule is very important. Because if you do this right, many girls (about half, in my and some other veteran guys' experience) will contact you again on their own. Usually it takes them a good two to three weeks to do this however. The other half who don't contact you you will not hear from again -- so there is a fair bit of gambling with this tactic. If you absolutely cannot lose her, don't Ball In Your Court Her; just keep call/text switching with her instead.

Provided you don't mind losing a girl it doesn't seem to be going anywhere with though, Ball In Your Court is perfect. (though if you really can't stand to lose her, you may want to read this)

Ball In Your Court shifts the burden of contacting you onto the girl. It tells her exactly what to do for when she feels like reconnecting with you. Then it frees you of worrying about her until she's ready -- so you can go meet other (more available) women.

The Ball In Your Court Text consists of four parts, one of which is optional:

1. Positive agreement: "Cool", "Sure"

2. Tell you what: "I'll tell you what:" or "Let's do this:"

3. Busy/chasing (optional): tell her you can see she's busy, and you aren't good at chasing people around

4. Ball in court: when her schedule clears up, she should contact you to let you know when she's ready to meet

Here's an example... this is a classic Ball In Your Court type text:

Note the four elements:

1. Positive agreement: "Sure, I understand Olivia"

2. Tell you what: "Well I'll tell you what"

3. Busy/chasing (optional): "I know you're super super busy. And I'm not very good at the whole 'chase someone around and keep bugging her' thing...!"

4. Ball in court: "So why don't we do this: you take care of your busy stuff, and once it's cleared up and you have a little time, shoot me a message to let me know when you're free and we'll plan something out"

After that, you simply don't respond to her again until she contacts you to tell you she's available to meet. In this case, she does that 17 days later.

Here's an example of a less traditional Ball In Court text:

In this case, the girl is not completely shooting down the schedule check for Saturday/Sunday. However, she leaves it unclear whether she can make those dates or not.

So you send her a Ball In Court Text that tells her to get in touch with you if it turns out she will be able to make that weekend.

This text uses only three of the four Ball In Court elements:

1. Positive agreement: "Cool"

2. Tell you what: "Well I'll tell you what"

3. Busy/chasing (optional): (skipped)

4. Ball in court: "I'll leave it up to you. If you make it back and you decide you've got the energy to come out and hang for a bit, drop me a line this weekend and let me know"

Since you're only ball-in-courting her for this weekend, you can actually message her again the following week in the event she ends up not contacting you for Saturday/Sunday. If that happens (she doesn't contact you, so you message her the following week yourself), you should not mention anything about the prior weekend. Treat it like it never happened and you didn't even remember you were waiting to hear from her.

Remember, you want women to feel like you have a busy, full social life (although you still care about them). A busy guy does not worry much if some girl he's talking to doesn't message him to hang out on any given weekend. He'll catch up with her another time. Usually he'll be too busy with other things going on to even remember he was waiting for someone to message him to meet.

In the example above, she ends up messaging she's free on the weekend. The Ball In Court Text worked its magic, and the date moves forward.

When a Ball In Court Text succeeds (and she messages you to meet up), you'll respond next with Text 5: Proposal Text.

Since we already talked about the Proposal Text, we're next going to discuss the text that comes after it in the 'how to text a girl' date-setup sequence: Text 10: Confirmation Text.

 

Text
10

Confirmation Text

🕐  When to send: immediately after she accepts the proposal from a Proposal Text

Once she's accepted your proposal, it's time to confirm.

This is a pretty simple step -- you're just going to tell her you'll see her then -- yet it is vital to include.

It's easy to get lazy or forgetful and not send a confirmation text.

But if you don't confirm:

• She's going to have a day or more of wondering if you got her last text and if you really plan to show up

• She's going to have a day or more of contingency planning about what to do if you don't show up

• She's going to have a day or more in which she may decide she's annoyed at you for not confirming, or too uncertain about your intentions, and make up her mind simply to not show up herself

The easy way around this is to simply send a Confirmation Text!

All you do is once she tells you she'll be there, you tell her you'll see her soon. Like so:

That's all it has to be. Here's another one:

And another:

Here's one more:

That's it. Nothing complicated.

You just need to remember to send it.

Once you've sent your Confirmation Text, go to Text 11: Check-In Text.

 

Text
11

Check-In Text

🕐  When to send: one hour before the date

An hour before your date with her, you must text a girl some small detail about the meet location or your appearance.

Superficially, this is to make it easier for her to know where to meet you or how to spot you. But this text also works on a second level, too. That second level is that the Check-In Text reassures her that yes, you remember, and you will indeed show up for the date.

If you don't send her a text the day of, soon before the date, she may worry you'll stand her up, so then choose to not go herself. Then you get stood up.

The Check-In Text counters this, by letting her know you're on your way and will be there on time or slightly late.

It looks like this:

Another example:

And another:

You can also use location details ("Hey, when you get there, let's meet at Exit 2B" "I'm outside the Starbucks on the corner" "Just got here. Grabbed a table in the back"). Or if you're running behind, that serves too ("Heading out now. Running slightly behind -- should be there by 10 minutes after the hour").

And that's it for date setup.

So congratulations!

You now know how to text a girl out onto a date.

You have the power to turn phone numbers and contact info into real live interactions with women in the flesh.

However, we're not done yet.

There are a few more things to cover:

1. What to text a girl after a date
2. What to text girls after sex
3. What to text girls you've slept with to meet up again after

We'll cover each of these in our final three sections.

 

Text
12

Post-Date Text

🕐  When to send: 1 to 4 hours after the date

A Post-Date Text is a message you send a girl after a date with her where you did not get intimate. The purpose of the message is to reassure her you had a good time. You do not propose another date with this text; you only let her know you had fun.

The Post-Date Text is optional. You don't have to send one, but for some situations it's great.

The rule of thumb to live by is:

• Don't send: if she really likes you, you don't need a Post-Date Text. She'll wait with bated breath to hear from you. Instead of send this text, just text her the next day or two days later to schedule your next date

• Don't send: if you felt like she doesn't like you, or the date did not go great, don't send a Post-Date Text. Let the bad date fade from her memory, then ping her again after a time to try to set up a new (and hopefully better) date

• Send: if you think she isn't sure you like her, send a Post-Date Text. This avoids her worrying too much if you like her and deciding she doesn't like you to protect herself. Take that worry away soon after the date and she can just relax instead

• Send: if she's hard to read, send a Post-Date Text. This way you cover your bases in case she fell into the "insecure about whether he likes me" camp to avoid her entering into auto-rejection

Here's one example of a Post-Date Text the night after the date, followed by some next-date scheduling in the morning:

Note the structure of the Post-Date Text:

1. Positive statement: "Drinks were fun :D"

2. Consideration: "Hope you got home safe"

Very simple message.

She responded well, so the next morning you send a text to immediately check when she's next free, and set up the next date. This works as a continuation of the previous conversation, so you don't need the greeting, consideration, or new information bits.

You don't have to immediately ask for a date the next day after a Post-Date Text. You can just as easily wait a few days, and send another scheduling text instead.

 

Text
13

After-Sex Text

🕐  When to send: early the next morning after sex

Assuming she spent the night and left in the morning, or left late at night the night before, you'll always want to send an After-Sex Text early the next morning. If she left earlier the afternoon or night, you'll want to send the text to her that same evening.

Here're the rules on when to send:

• If she left early in the evening (or earlier than this): send the After-Sex Text 1 to 2 hours after she left

• If she left late at night: send the After-Sex Text within 30 minutes of waking up the next morning

• If she left the next morning: send the After-Sex Text 1 to 2 hours after she left

The After-Sex Text is crucial because it counteracts buyer's remorse. Buyer's remorse is the phenomenon where a girl second-guesses her decision to have sex with you after sex. She wonders if sleeping with you was really the right move. She wonders what you think about her now that she's given herself to you. She may fear you or others will judge her.

The longer she goes without receiving an After-Sex Text from you, the more likely she is to begin to doubt or regret the sex. This is not an outcome you want; it'll make it a lot harder for you to meet her again, and it can lead to a bevy of other problems it's better not to have to deal with.

The way you wipe away buyer's remorse before it even happens is to send her an After-Sex Text.

Each After-Sex Text consists of three parts:

1. Greeting: use her name after such a personal encounter

2. Reassurance: let her know you had a good time, so she can relax

3. Consideration: show some consideration for her ("Hope you're not too tired today" "Hope you got some sleep last night" if she didn't sleep over, "Hope you're not walking too funny this morning" if you really railed her, etc.). This should be something nice, funny in a sweet way -- nothing that'll embarrass her or make her feel bad about herself, just very gentle humor

Example:

Structure:

1. Greeting: "Morning Olivia"

2. Reassurance: "I had a great time last night"

3. Consideration: "Hope you're not too tired today :)"

Another example:

Structure for this one:

1. Greeting: "Hey Chloe"

2. Reassurance: "had a marvelous time last night. So happy we met"

3. Consideration: "I hope I didn't wear you out completely for today ;)"

Send that, and she can feel warm, fuzzy, and completely reassured that yes -- he liked me, and had a great time with me.

And now, onto our final text: the Let's Meet Text you'll send women you've already slept with and would like to see again.

 

Text
14

Let's Meet Text

🕐  When to send: 2 to 4 days after sex

Our journey through this guide is not over just yet. You still need to know how to text a girl you've been with once already to meet you once more!

Generally, you must sleep with a woman on two to three separate occasions before you've 'converted her' to a regular sex partner. Before then, she may still be unsure about you, and still feel resistance to sex, even though you've been together once or several times before.

Usually, you want to get her converted as fast as you can. That means once you sleep with her, you will want to see her and sleep with her again at least two more times in relatively quick succession. This is true even if you only want a casual (i.e., friends with benefits) relationship with her.

To do this, after first sex, you'll text her a Let's Meet Text within two to four days.

The Let's Meet Text is similar to a Standard Scheduler Text, except it leaves out the new information bit. Since she's already comfortable with you, you don't need to tell her more about your week - she'll come over to see you soon, you can tell her this then.

Thus, there are three (3) parts to a Let's Meet Text:

1. Greeting

2. Consideration

3. Schedule check / date request

Here's an example:

The breakdown for this Let's Meet Text:

1. Greeting: "Howdy Olivia!"

2. Consideration: "Hope the past few days have treated you splendidly"

3. Schedule check / date request: "You back to being busy again, or have time to meet up tonight or another night/day soon?"

Since she was so busy before, there's a little callback in here to her earlier busyness. You also give her some options for the meet up: tonight, or another night/day soon.

Another example:

And the breakdown:

1. Greeting: "Hi Chloe!"

2. Consideration: "Hope the past few days have been excellent"

3. Schedule check / date request: "What's your schedule like today or the next few days to meet up?"

Send the Let's Meet Text off, and text the girl you've just slept with back over to see you once again.

 

Part
15

More Resources

Check these articles out for more great Girls Chase tips on texting:

• How to Text a Girl: the original Girls Chase guide to texting.

• How to Text Girls: 20 More Tips and Techniques: more tips to make your texting as good as can be.

• What to Text Girls to Get DATES: simple ways to text women to line up dates.

• What to Do When a Girl Doesn't Text Back: if she stops responding, text her this to get her to text back.

... and of course, to go even deeper, make sure you've picked up my popular book on texting, available on Amazon.com, How To Text A Girl: A Girls Chase Guide. How To Text A Girl packages all my articles on texting into a single, convenient tome, available in paperback or ebook format... plus includes a few new and expanded sections, too:

 

Part
16

References