Overcoming Approach Anxiety | Girls Chase

Overcoming Approach Anxiety

approach anxietyThere’s this thing called approach anxiety, and I haven’t talked about it all that much, because it was never a huge concern for me personally, and it was always something I was able to push through okay on my own. Sure, sometimes I’d stiffen up and miss out on a girl I should’ve had, but all in all it was never too bad for me.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Approach anxiety's picture

Chase, great article....
There is of course different ways to fight approach anxiety but if you are going at it head on and approach, approach and then approach some more then it really only depends on how those approaches goes….

If you burn every set and never pick up any women I would love to meet the man that would continue this unpleasant exercise….

But if you do your homework and prepare for these approaches and you start to see the glimmer of success after 5-10 approaches then you slowly start to attach positive emotions to going up to a woman you don’t know….
And I think that is one of the keys to at least feel better about approaching…..Remembering the last time you got laid when doing an approach…Linking positive emotions to a certain action changes the whole perspective on that action.

But it’s true, AA never goes away completely….

Joe's picture


So I have been reading a few of your articles and I am learning a lot of new stuff. But the one big problem I have is actually approaching girls I do not know. I struggle big time with this, and it is very hard for me to do it.

I just moved to a new city and since I do not know anybody, I wanted to try and work on becoming more sociable, as I never have been good with women. Do you have any other secrets or tips on how I can work on overcoming this anxiety. I would appreciate any extra help you could give me.



Anonymous's picture

Hi Chase,

I'm a big fan of your articles, thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom on women because they've helped me a lot.

The problem I have is that sometimes (happens a lot more when the girl is beautiful or I think she's out of my league) is when a girl moves towards me or I start to approach a girl, I just freeze up. My mind gets flooded with all sorts of crazy thoughts and with every second that passes it becomes harder and harder for me to actually talk to the girl, and every second I wait the situation becomes more awkward.

My voice is telling me that I should get the hell out of this uncomfortable situation and I just can't decide what to do.

Only until after the window has passed do I realize the mistake I made about not getting myself out there, then I get angry and frustrated with myself.

How do you snap out of a situation like that and motivate yourself to talk?

Steve's picture


I love this article. But i've noticed no one talks about sexual energy when you talk to a girl, how sexual energy can overpower your fear.

I think there is more to it than just approaching....


Anonymous's picture

I know the pain. I have been forcing myself to approach for about 5 years, (yes 5 years) made 2 approaches and I am still scared sh....less. And in most cases I chicken out.

ToF's picture

Hey chase ive commented a couple times and critiqued you on your writing a bit lol, but this is one of my fav articles and.. your the best in teaching methods!

I was gonna ask you a question but inadvertently answered it myself, fuck I feel so shitty, i failed my 3rd day on the 12week challenge. HOW do i calm down a nervous chick!?

I started a 12 week thing and its the 3rd day n didnt rele have a convo with a girl today. I feel like crap cuz one of the girls I got a number from was really cute but she just was really shy/nervous i guess. I texted her like 2h after while on campus and set up seeing her for a bit/coffee.

I had the feeling like she thought I was really interesting and awesome n shit, but I really thought about it n i was like, what the fuck, I want to know about you..? I would try hard to relate to her but a lot of things I didnt know what to really say to. Same with her I could tell. I had class and gave her a kiss on the cheek lmao.

I texted her she didnt txt me back today, ya i know i realize kfowmgfow

Andre's picture

Hey there, Chase,
First, I want to say that this is a great article, it's one of my favorites. I've actually gone approaching a few times, and approach anxiety hasn't been a terrible problem for me, so that's good news! But there's another slight approaching issue I'm having (I'm not sure if you've covered this in an article or not, but if you haven't, you should totally write an article on it) and that issue is this: I'm a college student, and most college students, as I'm sure you know, study. So the problem I'm having is that the girls who are alone tend to be studying, and the girls who aren't alone, as I said, are not alone. I don't want to start approaching groups just yet (all in due time), but the other girls who are alone are busy! So whenever I approach a girl who's busy, she barely engages in conversation because she clearly has other things on her mind, which all take precedence over the random dude who just sat down near her (that would be me, by the way). How would you suggest I open up girls who are busy? (Because I know it isn't impossible, just a little bit harder).
Thanks in advance,

Ervin's picture

Hi Chase,

every failure will definetly decrease the ego and self assurence, so several unsuccessful attempts will destroy it completely after that there are no way to try again.
How to deal with such mindset?


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