Secrets to Getting Girls: Addressing Women's Objections | Girls Chase

Secrets to Getting Girls: Addressing Women's Objections

In the seductions of every man, there comes a time when his woman begins to object. “What are you doing?” she’ll say. “I don’t think we should be doing this.” “We can’t do this, it’s too soon.” “We can’t do this, we’re friends.”

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Michael's picture

Really, why bother. A girl is not a hard sell situation. Unless you're really hooked. But, there are plenty of girls. Personally, nowadays, I'm easy on it. If she is interested, I can choose! The hard sell, or push, is just egotism!

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Michael,

Good comment. This is an objection I've heard raised before: "Why bother?"

Hmm, well, we're getting into more philosophical territory here. I wouldn't offer the hard push as something everyone ought to do, just like I wouldn't advocate everyone has to open direct or everyone has to try to bed girls as fast as possible. If it suits your goals, way cool; if not, plenty of other paths to take as well.

That said, the hard push will get you results that a more laissez-faire stance simply won't get in some situations. Of the women I've slept with over the past two years, somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 of those have been hard pushes. They were girls who were ambivalent about me, or didn't like moving too fast, or I'd made some mistake somewhere along the line and they wanted to walk away.

Now, you could certainly let girls who want to walk away walk away. If your attitude is really, "I'm easy on it; it doesn't much matter," I can understand why you might not get why other guys would want to sell harder and close deals against the odds.

I will say that those girls that you hard sell and manage to bed and give a spectacular time to though, they often end up being the ones who go craziest for you afterward.

I had a girlfriend for 2 1/2 years who frequently reflected upon the fact that she'd been doing everything she could to distance herself from me and that we almost didn't end up together, but for the Herculean push I put in to get us together. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me," she'd say, "I can't believe I almost missed it!"

It was a lot of work for me to get us together, but she was one of the best girls I was ever with. I ended up quite glad I didn't miss being together with her too.

So, I suppose, use your judgment. I don't push hard for girls who aren't worth at least a good night together. At the same time, the more you do this, the less it feels like "work" and the more it feels like just running through the process. Just like you get used to opening and screening and inviting girls home after a while and it all goes from scary and intimidating and difficult to second nature and maybe even enjoyable, so it goes with the hard push.

Not necessary to learn, then, but something that will decidedly boost your results if you learn it. And, if you've ever sat there and watched a girl you liked get up and walk away, and wished she wouldn't, learning this skill is how you empower yourself to not have to sit there and hope, but rather get up and do something about it. Just knowing that you can do it if you have to do it, I think, is worth learning for a lot of guys. I know it was for me.


Mary's picture

You are right, a lot of getting what we want in life is our ego at play but there is one reason why you should use these techniques and that is how you look to the rest of us girls at that party/club etc.

If she walks away, believe me the rest of us girls are watching and your value has dropped significantly! The woman you are with and the way she behaves with you gives you much of the value we put in you. I can assure you there are many unattractive men out there women are all quietly craving for and why you ask because the woman on his arm seems happy and content and we want the same for our selves even if he is fat and ugly. Trust me on this one.

Also if you aren't working towards a woman she is of low value to begin with. Dont you deserve more. Isn't in your biological make up to appreciate something that took effort to obtain.

If you are weak, sure move on to the promiscious little tart who every guy has enjoyed or else put in a bit more effort and obtain the girl who wants you but wants a bit of effort on your part. She is not playing games, she just wants to know she is desired enough and that you have the intelligence and strength to lead her. No one wants a weak man who walks away at the hint of a little battle.

Having said all that, if the girl is young, vulnerable or in a position you wouldn't want your sister in, back off and move on just be the first to walk away so your value stays in tact for your next victim....erhem lady.

Love this website!

Sam's picture

Love it how you explained it. Meticulous and deep.
I wish I read this before yesterday as I had two girls walking away from me. These were the ones that I thought I had great connection with, they liked me, they laughed at my jokes. Heck it could even work if the girl says she "sort of in a relationship with someone". Means she is not sure but wouldn't give her number. And I had nothing to say to that. Countless times I had nothing to say as the girl I've been talking to and making her laugh her ass off go away to join her friends.

Chase Amante's picture

Thanks Sam. Objections are great, when you're good at dealing with them. When you're still a little rough around the edges though, they can be a huge pain.

For sure, being able to address objections effectively can make all the difference between those girls laughing and enjoying your presence walking away -- or sticking around.

And for the record, if a girl told me she was "sort of" in a relationship, I'd press her hard to define that -- A) because it's fun, and B) because it often gets girls seeing you as a hell of an attractive guy who isn't intimidated at all by what she says.

Girl: I'm sort of in a relationship.

You: Sort of? What does that mean, exactly?

Girl: Well... just sort of.

You: Wait. So are you in a relationship...? Or aren't you...?

Girl: Well, I kind of am.

You: Like, some guy climbs into your window every night, but you never tell your folks, and since it's not official you're calling it a "sort of" relationship -- something like that?

Girl: Haha, not really.

You: So does that mean if *I* climb in your window and you don't tell your parents about it, that's okay? Since that spot isn't taken right now?

Yeah, something like that :D


kkwickweezy's picture

Haha that was a great line.. and the stuff your writing about is definitly making me feel like I got a chance. I always see these lame ass dudes getting with the finest girls and im over thinking to myself how the hell is that guy with her?? I have had only 2 girlfriends in my life =(, longest relationship was 2 years, and I just messed up on any other girls that liked me thru out my life(24 yrs old) and now im single again an just have no confidence when it comes to talking to woman. As you would probably say it, my skills are weak. And I hve been obsessing over sex too porn has become an addiction but im sick of it. Lately, I been feeling like I lost my personality and any skills I did have since my last relationship because I just become depressed after that. But I am dying over here for some female company.. Hope as I keep reading that I can overcome this.. Thanks man

sam's picture

Chase I think you will definitely help solve my biggest issues yet. Thank You!

Jorb's picture

Hey Chase,

I really appreciate the time you put in to help on this website! I would really, really appreciate it if you could take the time to help with a couple of questions I have. It shouldn't take more than about 5 minutes because, while the description of the scenario I've given you is long, I don't have tons of questions- I (think I) know what I'm doing pretty well, but I need help with one or two minor things.

I met a very sweet girl at a party last weekend, took her number, met up with her for coffee, and we got along great. After about 45 minutes, I took her to my apartment (which is a block away from the coffee place and three blocks away from the large, urban university we both go to- she for undergrad nursing, I for law). We made out and moved to my bedroom (I do miss the studio, you're right, but it was fine :)... I unhooked her bra and felt around, and when I started to pull her shirt up (a crewneck, so pulling it down would have been impossible), she said, "I really don't think we should go any farther... is that okay?" and I said, "Yeah, sure!" calmly and smiled, and I said, "I'm going to see you again, right?" because I could tell she was very into me, and she said "YEAH!" very enthusiastically, and she said, "I just feel like I don't really know you yet," in as sweet, flirtatious, and interested-sounding a way I've ever heard a girl say that, and I stroked her hair and said, "We wouldn't want you to go into class with your hair all messed up, would we?", calmly, with a grin, (because the clock next my bed told me she had to be in class in about 20 minutes) and kissed (and ran my hands over her) passionately. We also escalated from that to what I think you, on your website, call indirect vaginal rubbing, or something like that, and her getting on top of me, which she's very into. There are lots of possible things to consider here. She's only 21 (I'm 24), and she's in nursing school, so she's completely surrounded by girls and no guys, much less guys who are aggressive in the slightest. She's by far the most attractive of her friends and seems to be one of those girls who for whatever reason doesn't latch onto female friends based on their appearance... maybe because she has 5 siblings all close in age to her.

You may argue that I should have pushed it further then; it's possible that I should have. Considering I only had 20 minutes, though, I thought it would be better to wait till next time rather than force her into deeper LMR and then have her leave and go off to class with the last idea in her mind that she had rejected something and I had been weak, and I think that, given my decision, what I said was pretty good, but I'm curious what you think.

What is your analysis of this situation (prospects, tips, constructive criticism)?

We have a date set up for Saturday and my thought was to keep it very simple because of your general advice and especially because she's an undergrad, so she's not used to real dates, and she's in a school full of girls, so she's REALLY not used to real dates. The idea would then be to take her home soon after getting some food at a bar a block away from my apartment/her school, then watch a movie/"watch a movie" in the apartment. Under the situation I've outlined, what would you recommend I do to avoid or, if it happens, deal with LMR: something to say if she repeats the thing about not really knowing me yet (which she said in the least nervous way possible, with a smile on her face), specifically how to deal with the shirt (should I go for her pants first?), etc.?

For what it's worth, I don't care about how long it takes, per se - only to the extent that I think, as you say, if it takes too long to have sex, she's might lose interest or feel awkward.

Thanks, man!

Nelson's picture

What to do in the case of boyfriends?

I'll spare you the story, but the only reason she isn't my girlfriend is that she has a boyfriend with whom she thinks she's in love, took her virginity, all that shit. They've been together for about five months. I've wooed her, had her say she likes me, done everything right, but now she pulls the boyfriend card.

What I'm asking is how to break them up (honorably) and steal her?

I'm sure you've done this plenty of times haha.

BW's picture

Man, this article is exactly what's been on my mind. Ran into the hardest objection of my life last weekend--"you can stay at my place, but...don't expect anything" and totally flubbed it. This girl has always been very sly and subtle with me, so such a hard objection/rejection really threw me for a loop. In retrospect, I knew I should have thrown it back at her (mock indignation, "why Madame, just what sort of gentleman do you take me for?") before I even read the article. Thanks for writing my thoughts out for me, the validation is just what I needed.

DavidS's picture

This site has changed my whole life. I am not only talking about the relationship with woman but the way how I see the world .
Great work Chase!!!

Since my English isn't perfect, let me get to the point . An objection that I have to deal with very often is the " I am sick :(" objection, and it looks like this:

She shows attraction for you, and she has already agreed going out with you, but when you send a text the day before the date she responds:
" I am sick :("
This should be a natural thing, but this happened to me so often that I get suspicious. Who can I know if this is true ? or is just an objection ?

You can't do the "The Hard Push", because if she is really sick it may be rude.
Throwing Back the Objection doesn't work in this case.
You have to "Force Decisions" , but in a soft way. I tried something like this :

me: "... Want to grab that drink we talked about tomorrow?"
She: " I am sick :("
me :"What's Happening? no problem I am a good nurse , I can take care of you ;) "

(I am not a real nurse , just flirtation :) )

then if she responds that she has some kind of disease it provably should be true , but if she flirt you back it probably is just an objection and it's time to "Force Decisions".

Even though I still don't understand why this objection happens so often to me the "Force Decision" work most of the time.
This appended even with girls that we have kissed or even with girls that we already slept together.
This objection also happens to you Chase ?
What would you do in that case ?

kapil's picture

Hey chase,

I've read lots of your posts and Your knowledge about girls is so deep man! and you explain so nicely too, thank you very much for putting up this site, its been very helpful

I have a question though, what to do when a girl who was getting up to leave is settled again after been given a hard push, How do I advance with her without it being too odd Or not making her feel too uncomfortable?
It would be very helpful if u explained it with a scenario

Thank you!

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