Dating | Page 10 | Girls Chase

Dating

What to Do If She Wants a Relationship Before Sex (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

So she wants a relationship before sex? You don’t even have to date much to encounter this.

You’ll run into girls you like and who like you, but when it comes time to have sex, they have one issue – they want you to be their boyfriend or be serious with them before they give up the cat.

Why?

You have to give up your sexual freedom in order to get in bed with her? Some guys are okay with that, but for those of you who don’t see this is as a fair trade, you’re not alone.

In this video, I explore the flaws in this type of trade and how to respond to women who propose it.

How to Keep Girls Addicted in Relationships

Varoon Rajah's picture

keep girls addicted in relationships
We’ve all experienced or have seen relationships go stale and die, but they don’t have to. The secret is to keep her addicted with volatility and unpredictability.

I’ve noticed some interesting patterns with a good friend of mine in the city. He’s been seeing this girl for a long time. He met her via day game and it ended up with sex on the first date. It’s been several years now, and he’s been seeing her like a girlfriend, while still gaming and sleeping with other girls discreetly on the side once in a while.

I think he would be trying to meet more women, but he seems to be pretty satiated with her at the moment. Whenever I see him, it’s always her that seems to be messaging and chasing after him. From what he tells me, their sex life is great. She always messages him to get together and sees him 2–4 times a week. It seems that they have wild sex virtually the entire time they’re together. He says she might be doing it to keep him from meeting other girls, which she knows he’s fully capable of doing.

This is a different pattern from what most guys do when they’re with women. They get comfortable, then play it safe in a relationship. Men try to keep their relationship stable — and effectively boring. It’s because the majority of guys are generally safe and boring by nature, so it’s their normal inclination to do the same with the women in their life.

On the other hand, women thrive on change, stimulation, and challenge, especially with shifting feelings and emotions. It’s even better when they can tie the source of those shifting emotions to the man they're with (women do this with bad boys, after all).

6 Ways Online Dating Compares vs. Meeting Women in Real Life

Chase Amante's picture
online dating comparison
Dating apps and online dating are a fast, low effort way to meet loads of partners. But are they a perfect substitute for real life?

Over the last 15 years, the way people use the Internet to date has changed, in some ways.

But in other ways, it's remained exactly the same.

The first time I tried online dating, in 2004, it was still sort of a new, fringe thing. There weren't that many people dating online. There were around 1,000 online dating websites at the time (844, according to Wikipedia). Today, according to Forbes, 1,000 new online dating sites open each year. Match.com and Adult Friend Finder were the big fish then (the founder of AFF, Andrew Conru, invented online dating in 1994). Scammers were already well established; a clever spam message from a gorgeous girl-next-door type with a phone number two digits short claiming she saw me on Match.com, where I'd recently deactivated my account, lured unlucky-in-love 2004 me into paying $50 to for some fake dating site before I'd figured out what happened. Online dating at the time had a reputation of being a place desperate losers and awkward weirdoes went to. If you tried online dating, there was probably a reason, and that reason was likely an unfortunate one.

Since 2004, I've tapped online dating to meet women in various ways. Online is a useful supplement, but it's always taken the back seat to real life for me. Of late though I've seen online dating and dating apps become a lot more prominent among men. Meanwhile the portion of their women guys meet in real life is falling.

This is not a good thing for men, for many reasons. You may not want to hear it, but swiping your way through a dating app and thinking you are doing "game" is often not going to lead you where you want... unless you have a very clear idea about what you want.

But it's not all bad news and gloom. Sometimes, the right dating app can be just what you need.

Today let's compare online dating and dating apps to meeting women in the real world. We'll compare along six (6) dimensions:

  1. Quality

  2. Quantity

  3. Intentions

  4. Effort

  5. Risk

  6. Satisfaction

Let's go.

How to Recover when a Girl Flakes, Pt 2: When She’s Not So Interested

Varoon Rajah's picture

recover from flakes
Some types of flakes are easier to deal with than others. Let’s talk about the tough ones, like when she’s not that into you or she’s testing you to expose weakness.

As a guy, you’ve likely experienced this scenario: you get excited about seeing a girl who agrees to go on a date but end up feeling frustrated when she flakes on you. It makes the process of getting her out again much more complicated. A girl flaking on a date might seem like a big deal, but it shouldn’t be.

In Part 1 of this series, we covered how to recover from a flake when “life” happens and interferes with her plans. Usually, it’s simply a matter of comfortably rescheduling the date.

However, sometimes it’s not so simple.

As mentioned in Part 1, girls flake for one of three reasons:

  • She has a legitimate reason and wants to see you but can’t at that exact time
  • She’s not interested enough and is waiting for something better (you're a backup plan)
  • She’s testing you because she senses some weakness

Part 1 covered the first reason. Now we’ll cover the other two. You’ll learn what to do when she’s not interested enough and how to react when she tests you.

Unfortunately, these two situations are a bit more complicated. They indicate that the girl wasn’t interested enough or you made mistakes early on. Any mistake a guy makes will drop a girl’s attraction for him. Most of all, if he didn’t create enough attraction when meeting her, his options are limited.

Some guys are naturally good at texting and can create attraction through messaging. If you’re one of them, that’s a great skill to use in flake management. I’m not one of these guys, so I can’t comment much on what to do there.

Other times a girl will sense something is “off” about you, and will instead test you to see what you’ll do and how you’ll react. This is also not an optimal situation, usually surfacing because a guy did something wrong.

So let's talk about solutions.

5 Ways to Get Her to Be Your Booty Call

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

booty calling
If you like sex but don’t want a relationship, booty calling is the way to go. But getting and keeping a booty call with minimal pain and drama requires finesse.

Booty calling is a fun-filled lifestyle choice that any man can go for. However, if you want that sweet booty ordered to your door like pizza, you’ll want to communicate this to your woman, or women, without causing too much drama or crushed feelings.

You’ll need a contract.

Failure to set up a proper booty call contract can result in broken-up, hurt women and undesired drama.

I’ve had plenty of casual sex partners. Usually they’re girls who already have boyfriends or husbands and didn’t want to leave their relationships but still desired a little excitement or romance. Or they were too busy with work or school to have a long-term relationship (LTR). Some just wanted no-strings-attached sex with a discreet partner.

Some booty calling meets both the man’s and the woman’s needs, but most have lopsided attraction dynamics. The female will sleep with the male, and give him his “space” in the vain hope that once he realizes how amazing she is, it will turn into a more stable and monogamous “real” relationship.

Some women will sleep with you then quickly realize they can do better and move on. This isn’t real booty calling, as it’s generally the man’s fault for not having the characteristics she desires in a mate. For example, you’re a broke, needy, man-boy with no game who just happened to get lucky.

But for the rest, it’s usually just a player getting as much ass from as many women as possible without handing over his freedom. After all, freedom is a precious commodity.

Yes, some women just want to bang, but the vast majority would prefer a committed relationship with one special guy. Even if they’re willing to share him for a short trial period to seduce the man into monogamy, thus being a booty call.

If you’re trying to go booty calling, either become the master of stringing girls along, or learn how to communicate what exactly it is you desire. Hell truly hath no fury like that of a woman scorned — meaning hurt women can do terrible things to your life — so it’s best to avoid that. Be as honest as possible about your desires and intentions with her. Women being “played” has resulted in more scratched paint jobs, smashed PlayStations, and false rape accusations than necessary.

Tactics Tuesdays: Leave Her Alone 2 Minutes

Chase Amante's picture
leave her come back
If you run into resistance with a girl, instead of plow through, step away a moment... to let her fix her resistance herself.

Usually when you meet a girl, you don't want to leave her. If you leave her, she might leave herself! Some other guy might dash in to steal her away. Her emotions toward you may cool. There's no telling what could happen.

So, you will tend to be with her straight through. Straight to the point you take her contact info, then say farewell. Or straight to the point you invite her home (then take her there).

Once she's home with you, you'll be at her side the whole time too. You want her to get comfortable with you, after all. She can't get comfortable with you when you're not there.

Thus, this tactic might seem a smidge counterintuitive.

Yet if you want to solidify her commitment to you, and get her to value you more, this one'll do that.

And all you have to do to use it is (at the proper moment) leave her alone for two (2) minutes.

How to Recover when a Girl Flakes, Pt 1: Types of Flakes

Varoon Rajah's picture

recover from flakes
Girls flake for a variety of reasons, legitimate or otherwise. How does one figure out which and respond accordingly to maximize the odds of finally meeting up?

On the Girls Chase boards, reader Dark Knight was asking what to do and how to deal with a girl flaking – specifically how to recover. Flakes are one of the more frustrating courtship issues that guys deal with; especially for newbies who don’t yet have the skills to have a funnel of women. Quite simply, if you don't have absolute abundance, a flake can feel like a huge missed opportunity and a big failure on your end.

Dark Knight describes what confuses him about flakes:

I think most of us are familiar with Chase’s article on "What to Do When Girls Flake.” And I believe it is good advice, but there is one key ingredient missing and that’s about how to follow up on flakes. In the article the girl Chase mentions is extremely apologetic, but lots of times there are also girls who try to act like nothing happened. If you don’t call her out, it just gets “forgotten,” which of course is not true, but convenient for the girls narrative. This makes it like comparing oranges to apples. Because at this point it feels like it’s damned if you do and damned if you don’t. For this reason the article becomes confusing for a lot of guys. I have read some comments across the board but they are quite varied and spread out, which prevents it to be a coherent entity.

Suppose:

You arranged a date, girl agrees to it: then flakes out. 

*If you act like it’s not a big deal it’s fine and dandy: BUT you can kiss your scarcity goodbye. There is a big risk in being friend zoned, or put unto the backburner, because you give the girl an opportunity to postpone. In the past I even had this happen with girls who seemed very interested, but because they avoided committing since they do not like risks and maybe they hope for some kind of mythical white prince around the corner: they postponed. Of course when I next them, they fly into a rage. Yeah, that’s how it tends to go. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. The only option seems to be if we put it in context with Chase’s advice, staying warm but maybe less available? I believe however the longer things get drawn out the more they fizzle out.

*If you reschedule fast, again you kill your value and officially become chasing guy. If you don’t reschedule the girl will probably try to get some attention and you effectively move backwards, which again is bad.

*Acting butthurt: Lowers your value and attainability, good luck with giving someone a good validation boost and shooting yourself in the foot.

I think I have summarized this as best as I can. I would really love to see an article which gives some good tactical advice about how to follow this up. Because right now my default is moving on to the next girl, unless the flaking girl REALLY tries to make up again. But even then, I can be too impatient, I don't enjoy “long game.” Whatever the hell that means.

I can empathize with Dark Knight. As a guy, you’re likely very excited about seeing a girl who agrees to go on a date with you. While flaking on a date might seem like a big deal, it shouldn’t be for most guys if you’ve done the attraction work correctly from the start. There are a couple situations in which girls will flake on a guy. Depending on which, you either have a good shot at seeing her again as long as you stay mentally strong, persistent, are warm, and understand her circumstances. Other times, you’ll learn that she wasn’t nearly as attracted to you as you thought she was. This may indicate a mistake somewhere else in the process of meeting her.

Flakes can be tricky to follow up on. It’s an abrupt and unexpected stop to a courtship. Unprepared guys who react in a wrong and uncalibrated manner will find that the opportunity is suddenly gone.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Unlocking Levels with a Woman

Chase Amante's picture
unlocking levels with women
Every step of the way in dating and seduction, women have 'levels' you can unlock. And once you've unlocked a level, it stays unlocked.

In the back of your head, in every courtship you have, you must aim to unlock new levels.

A woman you've slept with is far easier to sleep with again than a woman you haven't slept with yet. This is because you've 'unlocked' the sex level with her. This is just one level, but look at how big a difference there is between women you have slept with and women you haven't.

With the woman you have slept with, you've done it together. She remembers doing it with you. And she won't have nearly the resistance to doing it with you again that a woman who's never been with you will.

Every man realizes this... at least in principle. And at least with women they've already closed the deal with.

It's why men invest a lot more time and energy into booty calling ex-girlfriends and former friends-with-benefits than they do random women from social circle or work they haven't slept with. She might not be sleeping with you currently, but if she's slept with you before, she's a lot more likely to come for a shag than a girl who hasn't bedded down with you yet.

This principle of 'unlocked levels' is also why you see so many women hung up on their exes, even when they know the guy isn't what they want, even when they have seemingly better guys pursuing them they could sleep with (then date)... yet they go back to the ex anyway.

It's why women you hooked up with once back in high school or college, when you run into them 10 or 15 years later, are still significantly easier to bed than any random woman you've just met, all things being equal (e.g., commitment status, etc.).

Once you've unlocked the 'sex' level with a woman, it's permanently unlocked (more or less).

That doesn't mean just because you've slept with a girl before, you definitely can get a repeat at any point in the future. Sometimes doors close.

But it does mean it's going to be a heck of a lot easier for you with her than with a girl you haven't gotten intimate with yet. The doors you've opened are a lot more likely to stay open to you than random closed doors are to open on their own.

But it isn't just sex that works this 'unlock the levels' way.

It's everything.

Girls Chase Interview with Robbie Kramer of Inner Confidence (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

Today, I interview Robbie Kramer of Inner Confidence about his journey from poker player to pickup superstar, and the many life lessons he learned on the way.

We also discuss approach anxiety, the right qualities to find in a girlfriend, and much more!!!

Enjoy!

3 Relationship Boundaries You Must Set to Avoid Toxic Situations

Pablo Garcia's picture

relationship rules
By laying down hard, rational boundaries early in your relationship, you foster respect rather than chaos. These 3 boundaries are key in avoiding toxic situations.

Today I met up with one of my best friends, a true natural who really amped up his game in the last few years. He is one of those dudes, who with such a great abundance of hot girls, was non-reactive when he met them. Girls stuck to him like glue, so our notorious Alek Rolstad gave him the nickname “Mr. Magnet.”

Besides our time spent in the field of women, he is my trusted gym buddy. In the last month, he has been absent from our almost-daily lifting sessions. I thought he’d been sick, but he told me a while back that he entered into a monogamous relationship with this girl he’d been seeing. This struck me as odd because this dude seldom felt he could like one girl for the long term.

While grabbing some coffee and catching up on his new relationship, she came by, and I got to meet her. She’s very sweet, but I could sense she was one of those girls who want control over any guy she's with. When she left, I told him what I had perceived, and gave him some pointers about what he should do and not do to have a drama-free and harmonious relationship.

I have a lot of experience with keeping long-term relationships on your own terms. While breaking it down to him, I realized my fellow readers on Girls Chase could benefit from these essential rules – every guy starting a relationship should fervently follow them.