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Dating

Don't Just Ask for Her Phone Number! IT'S A WASTE OF TIME

Hector Castillo's picture

Getting a girl’s number doesn’t mean crap. It means absolutely nothing.

You need to focus on something else entirely.

If you’re focused on getting her IG, Snap, WhatsApp, phone number… you’re doing it wrong.

I promise.

This is what you need to focus on.

Should You Expect a Falling Out After She Goes on Vacation?

Varoon Rajah's picture

relationship time apart
With certain types of relationships, don’t expect things to go back to business as usual after she returns from a vacation or is away from you very long.

Over the years as you grow in the game and experience more women, you see many patterns in male and female dynamics. Men and women have different agendas. A woman’s ultimate agenda is to find and keep a provider, especially one who is high-value (but still attainable) and one she can commit to monogamously.

Monogamy is virtually the only acceptable social frame for a woman as far as dating and relationships go. Other relationship models likely don’t fit so well with the world view held by her family, friends, and peers. So she most likely always has the monogamy goal in mind, despite what she’s doing with a guy or guys in the moment.

If you’re in a committed, monogamous, and stable relationship that’s going well (this is an important condition distinction), you might not experience the pattern I describe below. Similarly, if you’re dating a girl but haven’t yet slept with her, you might be able to avoid this situation. Finally, if she already has a provider, you’re just having sex, and she’s not emotionally intertwined, you can escape unharmed.

However, for nearly every other scenario, a girl taking a vacation without you equates to the impending doom of whatever it is you have going with her. I’ve found that when a girl you’re seeing takes a vacation — like a 1-2 week vacation to a faraway place — there’s a good chance you won’t see her again. At least your relationship can fundamentally change once she returns from her trip.

This concept applies mostly to these setups:

It’s also true regardless of how much you both communicate with each other during the trip. This naturally tends to dip a little during trips per the nature of the above setups.

It can be a strange phenomenon to observe. But we have to remember that when a woman sees you regularly, she feels emotionally tied to you, especially if you’re giving her a great experience.

This fades away once she experiences a little distance.

"I'm Doing Everything to Succeed with Women but It's Still Not Working!"

Chase Amante's picture
doing everything pickup seduction
If it feels like you're doing everything they told you you needed to do and it's still not working... you're probably not doing everything they told you you needed to do.

How to Master Transition Phases and Be Smooth with Women

Daniel Adebayo's picture

transition phases in seduction
When it comes to bedding women, getting from Point A to B can be rough. Learn to handle the key transition phases and the process will go a lot smoother.

Ever had a girl respond positively to your opener, maybe with sparkling eyes and a bright smile — yet the interaction fizzles out before you can get anywhere with her?

Or have you ever found yourself trying to seduce an attractive woman, things are going well, and both of you are feeling the flames of desire — but again, the interaction fails to progress toward an intimate conclusion.

“It was nice meeting you!” she says before leaving you standing at the bar.

Maybe you tried to invite her to sit somewhere private with you. But she tells you she needs to stay close to her friends. And moments later, those friends interrupt and take her away to the dance floor. Now and then you might have great nights when things just work in your favor. But most of the time, when you hit it off with a new woman, it seems like luck isn’t on your side.

Perhaps you prefer to meet women from day game. You bring new women back to your place regularly from dates or on the same day you approach them. However, when you have her alone sitting in your living room or on your bed, there seems to be an invisible barrier preventing physical escalation.

You’ve run into last-minute resistance in these situations many times before, and something tells you it’s about to happen again. At your place, she sits far away from you. And you already know it’s only a matter of time before she’ll make an excuse to leave.

If you regularly struggle with one or more of these frustrating scenarios as you meet and seduce women, then learning to handle your transitions better could make all the difference.

What to Do If She Wants a Relationship Before Sex (Video)

Hector Castillo's picture

So she wants a relationship before sex? You don’t even have to date much to encounter this.

You’ll run into girls you like and who like you, but when it comes time to have sex, they have one issue – they want you to be their boyfriend or be serious with them before they give up the cat.

Why?

You have to give up your sexual freedom in order to get in bed with her? Some guys are okay with that, but for those of you who don’t see this is as a fair trade, you’re not alone.

In this video, I explore the flaws in this type of trade and how to respond to women who propose it.

How to Keep Girls Addicted in Relationships

Varoon Rajah's picture

keep girls addicted in relationships
We’ve all experienced or have seen relationships go stale and die, but they don’t have to. The secret is to keep her addicted with volatility and unpredictability.

I’ve noticed some interesting patterns with a good friend of mine in the city. He’s been seeing this girl for a long time. He met her via day game and it ended up with sex on the first date. It’s been several years now, and he’s been seeing her like a girlfriend, while still gaming and sleeping with other girls discreetly on the side once in a while.

I think he would be trying to meet more women, but he seems to be pretty satiated with her at the moment. Whenever I see him, it’s always her that seems to be messaging and chasing after him. From what he tells me, their sex life is great. She always messages him to get together and sees him 2–4 times a week. It seems that they have wild sex virtually the entire time they’re together. He says she might be doing it to keep him from meeting other girls, which she knows he’s fully capable of doing.

This is a different pattern from what most guys do when they’re with women. They get comfortable, then play it safe in a relationship. Men try to keep their relationship stable — and effectively boring. It’s because the majority of guys are generally safe and boring by nature, so it’s their normal inclination to do the same with the women in their life.

On the other hand, women thrive on change, stimulation, and challenge, especially with shifting feelings and emotions. It’s even better when they can tie the source of those shifting emotions to the man they're with (women do this with bad boys, after all).

6 Ways Online Dating Compares vs. Meeting Women in Real Life

Chase Amante's picture
online dating comparison
Dating apps and online dating are a fast, low effort way to meet loads of partners. But are they a perfect substitute for real life?

Over the last 15 years, the way people use the Internet to date has changed, in some ways.

But in other ways, it's remained exactly the same.

The first time I tried online dating, in 2004, it was still sort of a new, fringe thing. There weren't that many people dating online. There were around 1,000 online dating websites at the time (844, according to Wikipedia). Today, according to Forbes, 1,000 new online dating sites open each year. Match.com and Adult Friend Finder were the big fish then (the founder of AFF, Andrew Conru, invented online dating in 1994). Scammers were already well established; a clever spam message from a gorgeous girl-next-door type with a phone number two digits short claiming she saw me on Match.com, where I'd recently deactivated my account, lured unlucky-in-love 2004 me into paying $50 to for some fake dating site before I'd figured out what happened. Online dating at the time had a reputation of being a place desperate losers and awkward weirdoes went to. If you tried online dating, there was probably a reason, and that reason was likely an unfortunate one.

Since 2004, I've tapped online dating to meet women in various ways. Online is a useful supplement, but it's always taken the back seat to real life for me. Of late though I've seen online dating and dating apps become a lot more prominent among men. Meanwhile the portion of their women guys meet in real life is falling.

This is not a good thing for men, for many reasons. You may not want to hear it, but swiping your way through a dating app and thinking you are doing "game" is often not going to lead you where you want... unless you have a very clear idea about what you want.

But it's not all bad news and gloom. Sometimes, the right dating app can be just what you need.

Today let's compare online dating and dating apps to meeting women in the real world. We'll compare along six (6) dimensions:

  1. Quality

  2. Quantity

  3. Intentions

  4. Effort

  5. Risk

  6. Satisfaction

Let's go.

How to Recover when a Girl Flakes, Pt 2: When She’s Not So Interested

Varoon Rajah's picture

recover from flakes
Some types of flakes are easier to deal with than others. Let’s talk about the tough ones, like when she’s not that into you or she’s testing you to expose weakness.

As a guy, you’ve likely experienced this scenario: you get excited about seeing a girl who agrees to go on a date but end up feeling frustrated when she flakes on you. It makes the process of getting her out again much more complicated. A girl flaking on a date might seem like a big deal, but it shouldn’t be.

In Part 1 of this series, we covered how to recover from a flake when “life” happens and interferes with her plans. Usually, it’s simply a matter of comfortably rescheduling the date.

However, sometimes it’s not so simple.

As mentioned in Part 1, girls flake for one of three reasons:

  • She has a legitimate reason and wants to see you but can’t at that exact time
  • She’s not interested enough and is waiting for something better (you're a backup plan)
  • She’s testing you because she senses some weakness

Part 1 covered the first reason. Now we’ll cover the other two. You’ll learn what to do when she’s not interested enough and how to react when she tests you.

Unfortunately, these two situations are a bit more complicated. They indicate that the girl wasn’t interested enough or you made mistakes early on. Any mistake a guy makes will drop a girl’s attraction for him. Most of all, if he didn’t create enough attraction when meeting her, his options are limited.

Some guys are naturally good at texting and can create attraction through messaging. If you’re one of them, that’s a great skill to use in flake management. I’m not one of these guys, so I can’t comment much on what to do there.

Other times a girl will sense something is “off” about you, and will instead test you to see what you’ll do and how you’ll react. This is also not an optimal situation, usually surfacing because a guy did something wrong.

So let's talk about solutions.

5 Ways to Get Her to Be Your Booty Call

Tony Depp's picture

booty calling
If you like sex but don’t want a relationship, booty calling is the way to go. But getting and keeping a booty call with minimal pain and drama requires finesse.

Booty calling is a fun-filled lifestyle choice that any man can go for. However, if you want that sweet booty ordered to your door like pizza, you’ll want to communicate this to your woman, or women, without causing too much drama or crushed feelings.

You’ll need a contract.

Failure to set up a proper booty call contract can result in broken-up, hurt women and undesired drama.

I’ve had plenty of casual sex partners. Usually they’re girls who already have boyfriends or husbands and didn’t want to leave their relationships but still desired a little excitement or romance. Or they were too busy with work or school to have a long-term relationship (LTR). Some just wanted no-strings-attached sex with a discreet partner.

Some booty calling meets both the man’s and the woman’s needs, but most have lopsided attraction dynamics. The female will sleep with the male, and give him his “space” in the vain hope that once he realizes how amazing she is, it will turn into a more stable and monogamous “real” relationship.

Some women will sleep with you then quickly realize they can do better and move on. This isn’t real booty calling, as it’s generally the man’s fault for not having the characteristics she desires in a mate. For example, you’re a broke, needy, man-boy with no game who just happened to get lucky.

But for the rest, it’s usually just a player getting as much ass from as many women as possible without handing over his freedom. After all, freedom is a precious commodity.

Yes, some women just want to bang, but the vast majority would prefer a committed relationship with one special guy. Even if they’re willing to share him for a short trial period to seduce the man into monogamy, thus being a booty call.

If you’re trying to go booty calling, either become the master of stringing girls along, or learn how to communicate what exactly it is you desire. Hell truly hath no fury like that of a woman scorned — meaning hurt women can do terrible things to your life — so it’s best to avoid that. Be as honest as possible about your desires and intentions with her. Women being “played” has resulted in more scratched paint jobs, smashed PlayStations, and false rape accusations than necessary.

Tactics Tuesdays: Leave Her Alone 2 Minutes

Chase Amante's picture
leave her come back
If you run into resistance with a girl, instead of plow through, step away a moment... to let her fix her resistance herself.

Usually when you meet a girl, you don't want to leave her. If you leave her, she might leave herself! Some other guy might dash in to steal her away. Her emotions toward you may cool. There's no telling what could happen.

So, you will tend to be with her straight through. Straight to the point you take her contact info, then say farewell. Or straight to the point you invite her home (then take her there).

Once she's home with you, you'll be at her side the whole time too. You want her to get comfortable with you, after all. She can't get comfortable with you when you're not there.

Thus, this tactic might seem a smidge counterintuitive.

Yet if you want to solidify her commitment to you, and get her to value you more, this one'll do that.

And all you have to do to use it is (at the proper moment) leave her alone for two (2) minutes.