Dating | Girls Chase


"Working on a Girl": Does It ACTUALLY Get You Anywhere with Her?

Chase Amante's picture
working on a girlGuys always talk about “working on a girl” and them “getting somewhere with her.” Does this strategy actually work or is it a lot of hot air?

So long as I can remember, I have had guys tell me about girls they were “working on.”

Seems like every other guy has some girl somewhere he is “getting somewhere with.” If you just put a little more time in, the theory goes… just show her a bit more of your personality… then before you know it, she’ll be yours!

We might call this the “Workman Method” for getting girls:

Pick a girl, and just keep working at it until she becomes yours.

This approach would be perfect if girls were rocks, and a guy could claim one for himself, drag it to his workshop, and chip away at it for as long as he needed until the rock became a beautiful sculpture, just for him.

Or maybe build her like a mannequin... remember that movie? Where the guy works on the female mannequin for way too long, and eventually she comes to life and falls in love with him?

The tragic reality however is that girls are not rocks, nor mannequins, and it rarely works out the way men following this “Workman Method” hope.

Why doesn’t working on a girl to get somewhere with her work out most of the time?

Sexual Selection and the Power of Fitness Indicators

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TEXTSurvival of the fittest only goes so far in explaining our adaptations. The rest comes down to sexual selection – and the fitness indicators we use to convey our qualities.

Pop quiz: what do these six men have in common?

  • A self-made multimillionaire
  • A bulked up bodybuilder
  • A renowned painter
  • A respected philosopher
  • A successful athlete
  • A talented pick up artist

The answer will surprise you!

Before we get to that, we need to talk about evolution… the fascinating subject of today’s post.

Along the way, we’re going to explore a lot about the way male and female animals – including humans – advertise their fitness to mates, and exactly how these ‘fitness indicators’ work.

Males of Every Species Must Learn Game to Mate

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males must learn to mateMales of every animal species must practice and learn courtship rituals before they’re able to mate. The art of learning to court is a ubiquitous one – it is not human-only! Images created with Craiyon.

I’m reading a truly fascinating, mind-expanding book right now entitled The Mating Mind.

Mind Your Dating Pool

Chase Amante's picture
women in bikinis at poolThe pool of women you date and hook up from is the same pool you’ll select long-term girlfriends and wives from. But pickup pools aren’t always the best spots to find great LTRs…

Every man has a certain pool of women he draws his dates and mates from.

This pool’s determined by where and how he meets women, and the kinds of women he attracts.

Men often choose dating pools for pleasure or convenience: the easiest girls to pick up; the sexiest girls to sleep with; the girls who are the best in bed. I recommend this while learning, and while building (or rebuilding) momentum.

There’s no faster way to learn nor build momentum than by picking up girls places that are easy for you, where women are in relative abundance, and ideally you really enjoy the pick up process.

However, there’s an issue here many men often don’t foresee until it is too late: you draw your long-term relationships from this same dating pool, too.

Yet the qualities you want in a long-term girlfriend will not always so perfectly align with the qualities the women you meet in the more convenient dating pools possess.

How to Plan Out a Date's Logistics End-to-End

Chase Amante's picture
man and woman date planningPlanning a date’s logistics out is one of the biggest boons you can give your dating. Map the initial spot, the inter-date route, and 3 more date facets for a big romantic boost.

What’s the difference between a date with preplanned logistics versus one where you simply pick a place and go?

The difference is often HUGE… with a bevy of key benefits for the preplanned dater.

In light of our 50% off “Summer of Lovelies” One Date sale, and the two limited edition Date Flows I’ve made available with a One Date purchase during this sale (you can also claim them here if you already own One Date), I’m putting out a few different pieces on dates and date planning.

Some of the most prolific daters have established date templates they use over and over again with the women they take out, because those templates simply work:

  • They know where to meet a girl

  • They know where to take her

  • They know where to go with her after the first place

  • They have a backup venue to take her if she needs more time

  • They may have various locations they can use to “seal the deal”

You don’t have to be in your home city or town to take advantage of logistical preplanning, either. Preplanning your date logistics is something you can do anywhere.

It’s something you ought to do, everywhere, too… because it just offers so many benefits it’d be silly not to.

Trajectory of a Successful Date

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man and woman dancing on bedThe trajectory your dates take determine how they end: as lovers or gone separate ways? This 7-step trajectory takes you through it: greeting, small talk, deep talk, + 4 more key steps.

A successful date has a particular trajectory.

If you look back on past successful dates of your own, you’ll be able to feel it:

The initial connection, the easy conversation, followed by increasing closeness, touch, and amour.

By the time you end up alone at the end of things, intimacy is a foregone conclusion, the escalation to it little more than a formality.

What’s responsible for such dulcet dates? Is it magic? An unpredictable wonderful connection?

While certain things outside your control do have an impact – from personality match to other factors below the level of conscious awareness – there is also a distinct way such dates proceed, that if you know it, you can often engineer.

This way is the date’s trajectory; a good one of which leads you far more easily to fantastic fantasies with lovely gals.

In a few more days, we have a special sale for my course One Date & The Dating Artisan – along with the release of two limited edition “Date Flows.” In these limited edition Date Flows (only available to One Date owners or buyers), you’ll receive the most complete guides ever assembled to running perfect dates 1.) at home and 2.) outside walking.

To coincide with the release of these first two collectible “Date Flows”, which’ll only be available to buy or to claim during the “Summer of Lovelies” sale between July 16th and July 19th, I’m writing a series of pieces looking at how good dates are put together.

The first of these is this one – on date trajectories.

Tactics Tuesdays: Jerking: Make Her Like You LESS

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man and woman flirting at bar[When girls like you TOO much, it can be just as bad for a seduction as when they don’t like you enough. What can you do? Mix a little ‘jerk’ into things to fix the vibe.

Here’s something for our advanced players and up.

Once you are GOOD with girls, you will start finding yourself not uncommonly in situations where women like you too much. If you are an advanced player, you already know why this is bad.

(if you’re not an advanced seducer, you can read this article for educational purposes, though it might sound rather alien to you. Trying the materials from it may lead to calibration errors for you at this point now, too. Circle back around to it once you’ve leveled up; you’ll find it more useful, I promise)

When girls like you TOO much, they start envisioning a future with you, hit the brakes, and get nervous they’re going to screw it up with you if they let you move things too fast. This can completely sink your seductions.

We’ve talked about this a lot on Girls Chase when discussing the boyfriend zone and making it clear to women you’re NOT boyfriend material.

In this article we’ll go one further: not just not being boyfriend material, but actually calibrating your attainability to make sure the women you talk to don’t like you TOO much.

We’ll do that by using a range of tactics that, taken together, we can politely call “jerking.”

5 First Date Plans that Lead to Sex

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first date plans that end in sexThe best first date plans aren’t just getting to know you. They craft a whole experience that starts with small talk and ends as lovers. Choose one of these 5 plans to get there.

The right first date plan doesn’t just help you get to know someone.

7 Factors Behind the 2020s Dating Collapse

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factors of the dating collapseDating has been on the decline in the West for some time. There are 7 main sociocultural reasons why. Together, they weave a web of complexity fewer and fewer daters break through.

I want to take a break from tactical articles to talk today about a broader topic.

While this won't contain how-tos, it will contain important perspectives I think will help shape the way you think about the dating landscape.

We've talked for a while about how dating is getting harder for people. We mainly talk about ways it is getting harder for men here, since this is a male-oriented site, but it's actually getting harder for both sexes.

It can be hard to put a finger on gradual changes, and even harder to name specific contributing factors to those changes. Generally what you will see is people who have one pet theory and blame it for everything: "It's due to feminism!" "It's due to porn!" "It's due to Hollywood brainwashing!" "It's due to a decline in morals!"

Social systems are complex systems though. They are hard to understand because they have many moving parts, and all those moving parts interact with each other. There is almost never one single cause for a major breakdown in function within a complex system.

Today we'll be looking at what I find to be the seven (7) most important causes of our contemporary breakdown in dating -- one that's led to an enormous reduction in romantic activity among men and women, and an explosion of bitterness among both sexes.

Tactics Tuesdays: Converting Cautious High Count Girls

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converting cautious high count girlsCertain girls you’ll bed, do it all right with, yet not see again. Why? Some of them are “cautious high count” girls. But there’s a way to lay them once more…

This is a fairly niche article, targeted at advanced seducers, but it'll answer some questions for you if you're a high volume playboy who gets a bunch of lays off night game or dating apps.

There's a certain breed of woman who likes to party and hook up with new men, yet retains a high degree of skepticism toward non-safe men when it comes to entering relationships.

We'll call this girl the 'cautious high count girl'.

She is your stereotypical "hook up with the bad boy but date the good guy" girl. She craves stimulation, but dislikes being around a guy long-term she doubts she can command exclusivity from. She's a stimulus-seeking gal who nevertheless desires devotion from those she sees regularly.

You'll get one-night stands with these girls, off of either night game or dating apps.

Everything will seem to go great; she has a lot of fun, and you find the girl exciting and hope to see her again.

Only, she won't see you again.

Nothing is 'wrong'; she doesn't have any sex regret after being with you, nor was she stupidly drunk and just 'made a mistake' or anything like that.

She's just the total opposite of the girl with a small dating pool, is all.

If you do manage to get her out, she voices repeated resistance to anything that remotely seems like "starting a relationship" with you -- it's not that she's against relationships in principle; only against relationships with you.

How do you convert a gal like this?

By stepping outside the usual boxes she puts men in.