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Dating

Don't Listen to Those Who Say "No Sex on the First Date"

Hector Castillo's picture

first date sex
She’s not that kind of girl? Well, here’s a pro tip: all girls are that kind of girl. Those who say first date sex shouldn’t happen usually have ulterior motives.

I’m always surprised when men believe sex on the first date is unlikely, unnecessary, impossible, or even wrong.

I’m never surprised when women have this belief.

You see, when you spend many years with an enlightened view of women (like I and the contributors on Girls Chase have), it becomes your norm. Old and misguided beliefs you lost years ago or never had seem strange and foreign.

Sometimes men say they “want to take it slow” with a girl because they want something serious, or they might mention that she’s being a slut because she has sex on the first date. They might even say she’s a whore despite not sleeping with him on the first date. When I see this, I know that they are entangled in the Madonna-Whore complex, which is where this false belief originates. It’s the root of wrong views about quick sex.

Men lose so much from this ignorance.

However, when a woman says it, she has everything to gain and little to lose.

To understand why women pretend to believe that “sex can’t happen on the first date” and why men fall for the lie, we will go through what motivations a man or woman might have for holding this wrong view.

In the sense of good and bad, it has very little to do with morality and instead is about the morality of status-gaining and control, and mate-screening.

Women rightly want what is best for them. They want the best man they can get. If we start with this simple premise, everything about the idea of “not having sex on the first date” becomes translucent. We see an innocent idea as something much more.

When you see this idea for what it is, you will wake up to a new view of women.

It is a liberating view.

You will walk around the world as a hunter, knowing that you can screw any girl, and I mean any girl on the first date.

I don’t care if she’s a Queen or just thinks she is one on Instagram, you can slay her on the first date.

Now, why might a man believe this romantically pernicious idea?

Why You Must Break the Touch Barrier Early with Girls

Varoon Rajah's picture

break the touch barrier with girls
The longer you wait to touch a girl, the weirder it gets when you finally do. Touch her early and often to reap all the benefits of this powerful seduction tool.

On meets with girls, you have to break the touch barrier eventually if you’re planning to sleep with her. The longer you wait, the more odd it’s going to feel for her, and the more pressure there will be for both of you.

Imagine going on dates with two different girls. You spend the first 90 minutes on the date with the first girl not touching, then make your first move. But with the second girl, you touch her in the first five minutes and continue to have touch throughout the date. Which date will feel more natural to the girl? On which date will the transition to intimacy be smoother?

Long story short, if you don’t touch early, you’re dooming yourself to face a bigger uphill battle of comfort to touch later on. It makes all the difference if you establish touch early on. This gets her thinking touch between the two of you is normal and expected. It's comfortable and never comes as a surprise.

Generally, people make their first impressions of others within the first five to ten seconds of meeting. Additionally, the first 5–10 minutes of a date sets the tone. So, the best way to break the touch barrier is to do it early and quickly in your meets to set the tone.

I recommend, at the very least, touching her warmly when ending your approach set, and it’s also important to touch in the first moments of your first date, which starts the escalation. From the moment you greet her at the venue, the touch should begin as a form of physical intimacy.

Here's how to do it.

13 Things That Happen When You Date Experienced Women

Hector Castillo's picture

experienced women
Dating an experienced woman can be a treacherous yet incredibly worthwhile journey. You’ll experience heartbreak and pure ecstasy. Prepare yourself.

I have had the pleasurable misfortune of not only sleeping with many experienced women but also dating one as a serious girlfriend.

And by experienced, I mean promiscuous. She's sexually experienced and has dated lots of guys.

Of course, there can be another definition for experienced.

She might be older and have had a handful of long-term relationships (LTRs). Though, a girl could be young and still have had a lot of boyfriends, even if they weren’t long-lasting relationships.

And even if a girl is older, it doesn’t mean she knows much about dating, but maybe she knows a lot about life. Or she could know a lot about dating but was relatively unslutty and had one or two LTRs.

For this article, then, let’s have three possible definitions of “experienced”:

  1. Older than you
  2. Many lays
  3. Four or more LTRs

Four LTRs is somewhat an arbitrary number, but I’d say four that last longer than a year makes one well-acquainted with relationships (though not necessarily skilled).

And, of course, these definitions are not mutually exclusive. A girl can have some, none, or all these traits.

I’ll address experience via these definitions differently throughout this article in terms of how they can impact your adventure.

December 11th: The Biggest Breakup Day of the Year

Varoon Rajah's picture

Editor's note: After taking in this informative article, make sure to check out Varoon's Holiday Dating Tips to help you navigate the season's turbulent dating landscape!

biggest breakup day of the year
The December breakup bash is upon us! Will your fling survive the holidays, or will your halls be decked with boughs of broken hearts? And if the latter, what then?

As the seasons change, and a year passes by, mating opportunities also shift in waves. There’s a guy’s skill in getting women (which we teach here on Girls Chase), which is beneficial at any time of the year. Then there are the opportunities created by women around these men that follow shifts in seasons. After all, there must be women looking for things to happen, and men with the ability to make those things happen by taking the opportunity and applying skills so they can get together and have sex.

The possibility of a girl’s relationship with a guy determines female availability. Once she is in a relationship, she’s continually evaluating whether the man is still the same powerful and attractive man he was when she picked him. The cycle of evaluation never stops, and women are always considering whether they’ve got the best deal with a guy, or if someone else out there might be better. There are certain times of the year when girls are more prone to evaluate a man and their relationship with extreme scrutiny.

The highest evaluation period is around mid-November to mid-December.

As a result of this evaluation, December 11th turns out to be the biggest breakup day of the year, and it even exceeds breakups before and after Valentine’s Day. We can see this trend in the media:

And check out this graphic, which shows how breakups transpire through the course of a typical year.

In most links above, statisticians studied Facebook to analyze breakups from relationship status updates. They found that the most common date is for getting dumped is December 11th, roughly two weeks before Christmas. Data from Match.com shows that the peak sign-up period is Christmas Day. In the second half of December, many men and women put themselves back in the marketplace.

As you can see, the two biggest breakup windows through the year are right after Valentine’s Day through the “spring break” period in late March. There’s a higher spike at the end of the year starting at roughly late October, peaking on December 11th.

December 11th is the biggest breakup day of the year, and we’ll look at many reasons why couples are likely to separate then.

For You to Get Her, She Has to Think "I Want This"

Varoon Rajah's picture

make her want you
The goal of seduction is to make a girl think “I want this” with you. With a bit of knowledge and skill, you can choose what ‘this’ is and lead her toward it.

Women and men want to meet at least ONE person in their lives they're attracted to and find chemistry with, if not more. Of course, that extends beyond just one suitor and one lead.

Women are bombarded left, right, and center with requests from men in person, at bars, at their workplace, and increasingly online. Competition is fierce, and it’s common for women to have partner counts now in the double digits.

Despite having a dizzying array of choices, for sex to happen, it’s critical for a woman to get beyond just entertaining the idea of getting with a man and actually make the decision (consciously or subconsciously) to do so.

At the decision point, she's thinking: “I want THIS with this man.”

But “THIS” could mean any number of things, including:

  • A date
  • A one-night stand
  • A friend with benefits
  • A relationship
  • Some social value or a connection that could be meaningful

However, until she consciously chooses what "this" is, a guy can only try to lead her toward what he desires with her. We can’t force any girl to do anything against her will, but we CAN influence her to make choices that align with our goals, as long as she feels that those choices align with her goals. For example, if a guy wants a girl to be a friend with benefits, he does his best to frame himself as the kind of guy she'd want as a friend with benefits. He must show her that being with him in that capacity is something she consciously wants.

The key word here is “consciously.” If a girl wants you unconsciously, but she isn’t sure consciously, then have a look at our recent article series on Female State Control to see how this conflict can sabotage moving forward with a woman. If her unconscious and conscious minds are in sync with her desire, there’s nothing stopping both of you from getting together.

So, to separate yourself as the guy who gets her among the hundreds of guys chasing her without any luck, you must learn to make her feel that sense of “I want this” with you.

17 Places to Go on a First Date That Make Dating Easy

Tony Depp's picture

where to go on a first date
Your best chance to make things happen is on the first date. So, where you go on a first date needs to be simple and provide opportunities for intimacy and sex.

If you’re wondering where to go on a first date, you’ll be happy to discover that you don’t have to go all nuts about it.

At Girls Chase, we are in the business of getting laid, and fast. But this strategy doesn’t diminish the prospects of getting a girlfriend if that’s what you want. The date ideas in this article suit whatever your goals are with a girl.

So, what do the dating pros do? Dinner and Netflix? Horseback riding in Hungary? Spearfishing in Playa Del Carmen?

First, let’s set the stage for a first date. Why are you going on a date in the first place? What’s your objective? Are you looking to get laid, or just get to know a girl and maybe make her your girlfriend?

Either way, you should always be aiming for sex as fast as possible. It is scientifically proven to be in both your interests to cement your relationship with a bang before she can talk herself out of it. I can count on one hand how many women were upset that I aimed for sex too quickly. But I lament over the scads of women I lost because I went too slowly.

If she rejects your sexual escalation, at least she respects you for trying. You’re not another friend zone guy; you’re a sexual threat (a good kind of threat). She knows that if she spends time with you, sex will happen. Unless you want to be her buddy or texting pal, it’s important she understands this.

Of course, not all women are going to sleep with you on the first date. But plenty will.

When I say you should escalate to sex on the first date, I don’t mean you should be needy, beg, or whine. It could be as simple as asking her to “come inside” for whatever reason, to look at pictures, or have a drink. Or asking to see her apartment “quickly.”

I once banged a girl I’d met 15 minutes earlier by asking to see her paintings. She was an artist, so of course she wanted to show off her work. There’s always a reason to come inside her or your place (other than needing a toilet). Women understand that to be alone with a man in a flat means sex is more than likely. So let that be your first date mission.

After that, you can take things wherever you want, from making her a one-night stand or a friend with benefits to making her your girlfriend or wife.

Bottom line: all those outcomes start with sex, and these date ideas maximize your odds for getting the girl to be whatever you're looking for.

Everyone Dates Whoever He Needs to Date

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

you date who you need to date
Every problem, bit of drama, suffering, torment, or heartache in a relationship is necessary... because people date the people they need to date.

I have a pretty good track record predicting how relationships will turn out.

I can tell, fairly reliably (though I'm sometimes wrong... but not a lot) how a partnership will go after a short time around a couple.

It used to aggravate me, some years ago, how when I'd identify an obviously troubled partnership, no one would listen to me and end the thing before it grew worse.

Time and again, dire warnings to friends of how their relationships would turn out came true.

And still, no one listened.

Yet, these days, people disregarding my advice doesn't aggravate me anymore.

If I see someone headed into an obviously troubled relationship, I will warn him off it.

However, if he chooses to pursue it, it no longer bothers me. I'm not a busybody... what someone is doing with his own life isn't my business, unless he wants my input. I usually won't stay as close with a guy going into a troubled relationship against my advice, because of how troubled relationships tend to affect people (i.e., they turn most folks into needy, emotional messes who bog down everyone around them... and it's not my calling in life to be a shoulder to cry on, nor is it a role anyone would want me in anyway. Really, you are better off not having Chase in that role).

Over time, my understanding of why people date the people they do (as well as do the other things they do) has changed.

I stopped viewing people's choices in mates -- even choices that hurt them, and lead them to suffer -- as 'right' or 'wrong' for them.

Instead, now I look at a partnership and say, "What about this partnership makes it what this person engaging in it needs?"

Because that is the real kicker: people only have the relationships they need to have.

The more you learn to look at relationships as people with exactly the people they needed to be with right then, the more even the very troubled relationships you see start to make a lot more sense.

Holiday Dating Tips to Keep You on Santa's Naughty List

Varoon Rajah's picture

holiday dating tips
Dating during the holidays is troublesome, but there are plenty of ho-ho-horny girls looking for a good stocking stuffer! Here’s how to add them to your naughty list.

Dating in December is unique compared to other months, and this makes it a very interesting time for game, yet also tough. While a guy’s game and a girl’s attraction to sexy guys stay the same, fundamental human dynamics of mating don’t change.

But, given differences in availability, scheduling, and girls out searching for men, December is uniquely challenging. These odd challenges can present many new opportunities with girls quickly, just in time to close the year on a high note.

First, let’s look at the drawbacks of December versus other months, then examine what makes December very opportunistic and fun for the pleasure-seeking man and woman. Finally, we’ll go over what kind of game style makes the most sense in the holiday season, a unique time of the year.

15 Sexual Things to Do That Will Drive Your Girlfriend Wild

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

sexual things to do with your girlfriend
Looking for some sexy things to do with your girlfriend? These mind-bending, juice-inducing sex tips will ramp things up in bed and make sex with you an addiction.

Today I’ll share a handful of sexual things to do with your girlfriend to make sex more fulfilling.

It’s not enough to learn how to approach, escalate, charm, and seduce women. You want to be a great lover and make their pussies quiver whenever they think of you. You want them addicted to you. And once they become addicted, they start to love you. Once a woman loves you, she’s yours forever (at least in heart, if not body).

Most guys are terrible lovers. They’re clueless. All they do is thrust and grunt from three positions and bust a load before she's fully stimulated.

It’s okay to be selfish in bed sometimes, because women are highly turned on by dominance. But for the most part, sex should be a creative experience, like putting on a magic show. So lean back, turn off your anime girlfriend simulators and allow me to teach you the ways of lovemanship.

Note, these aren’t only sexual things but also ways of being that make sex more satisfying for everyone involved.

I’ll separate this article into two sections: psychology and application.

Mistakes that Make Women Screen Men Out as Sex Partners

Varoon Rajah's picture

screened out as sex partner
A woman’s decision to sleep with you is largely based on whether you give her a reason to screen you out. The solution? Stop making mistakes that get you screened out.

Men and women differ significantly in their mating strategies with how each screens the opposite sex. Men are direction oriented and look for women with the sexual qualities that they want in a woman. They have a knack for going after certain looks, features, or personality traits in a woman. Men screen for women who fit the bill.

A woman, on the other hand, operates quite differently and from the opposite angle. She looks for attractive men and evaluates if she should keep moving forward with a guy based on his behavior and presentation. Then she evaluates whether or not she wants that. So she’ll give him a chance until she is forced to screen him out. It’s usually a result of a mistake a guy makes that conflicts with her social frame, sexual desires, failure to interest her, or her biology.

The reason for this is because men primarily seek sex and women primarily seek relationships. Yet women live in a land of sexual abundance where they’ll always have men looking to have sex with them if they’re remotely attractive, but women find it tough to lock men into relationships because they can’t find one who is good enough and down for a relationship! This difference in nature is perplexing to a lot of men. I see this happen all the time. A guy sees progress with a woman and gets super excited about her and how far they’ve come along until she suddenly disappears, and the guy is left clueless wondering what happened.

Because of radically different mating agendas, men screen for women to add to their lives, but an attractive woman lives in sexual abundance and has many different men chasing after her, so she is forced to screen men out. Men’s sexual agenda is to mate with as many of the best girls as possible, whereas a woman’s goal is to find the best one and win him over for herself.

In the mating game, men screen women in, and women screen men out. And when guys make mistakes in the seduction, or they miss good opportunities, she no longer sees him as a contender for the best man, and he loses his shot.