Building Equity | Girls Chase

Building Equity

14 Secrets to Being a Sexy Older Man

sexy older man
It’s the truth: women are attracted to sexy older men! Here’s how to age like a fine wine and bed girls who’ll cure your erectile dysfunction rather than cause it.

I’ve had a lot of clients who are insecure about their age. For many, they get older, but their desire for young women remains. They fear that they’ll lose their youth, and aren’t sure how to find their “sexy older man” appeal.

If you’re wise, you can be a hot, sexy older man, rather than the “gross” old guy. But it may take a little self-awareness, strategy, and work ethic.

 

Defining “Older”

For the purpose of this article, I’ll say “older” is between 40-60 years.

Life experience-wise, this is a huge age range. Much can happen in those 20 years. Your entire identity could shift and morph multiple times. You could start and end dozens of relationships, careers, have kids, grandkids, survive wars and cancer. Who you are at 40 won’t be who you are at 60, no doubt – just as who you are at 20 won’t be who you are at 40.

I’m not going to coach you on how to find meaning in your life as you spiral toward the grave. I’m just going to teach you 14 secrets to being a sexy older man, so you can still score those hot younger women without paying for it.

 

Are You a Sexy Older Man?

The brutal truth is that many of you will fade out of the dating market and become nearly invisible in the eyes of young, beautiful women. Why?

Because you are:

You’re out of shape, with a ring of gray around your skull, creases so deep they hide civilizations; you dress like a nerd, have a massive pot belly, and are completely out of touch with youth culture and interests.

But you still want those hot young girls. Or maybe you just want a fulfilling sex life with attractive women your age. Either way, these tips will get you on track.

What may be most important for you to understand is that there are plenty of men like yours truly, who at 41 still travel the world, go to parties, and bang girls in their early twenties. Likely I’ll still be able to do that when I’m 60, should I wish to.

What’s interesting about age is that I know fat and bald guys in their twenties and thirties who do great with women. So it’s not necessarily the lack of hair or a spare tire that scares the young beauties away. What is it, then?

Is it your style?

Your belief system?

Do you feel too old, that you should just date women your own age and not be a “dirty old man”? Screw that, right?

There are plenty of older guys who still get with women 10, 20, even 40 years younger than them.

For whatever reason, there’s something that these young women want, be it money, status, fame, power, wisdom, or preference. Women go with much older men, all the time.

Like many things in life, in order to achieve it, you have to believe it’s possible. Your mindset matters and you have to get real.

If you feel you’re too old, you will be. Whatever you feel, she feels. You believe, you project.

Ultimately, if you’re a stinky old geriatric, expect to pay for that loving.

That said, without further ado, let’s discuss how not to be a stinky old geriatric, but rather a sexy older man who can bed women he’s actually attracted to.

Joshua Spodek | Taking Initiative (Podcast)

Welcome back to Dating Mechanics, our podcast here on Girls Chase! Today I feature a special guest who was recommended to me by Chase. Joshua Spodek is an expert in leadership, training, and taking initiative. He has a PhD and an MBA, writes a column for Inc., and has five Ivy league degrees.

In this podcast, we’re here to talk about his new book Initiative, in which Josh shares how anyone can start taking initiative to create extraordinary results in all aspects of life.

Most entrepreneurial resources require you to start with an idea and a team – big hurdles that increase the challenge. Initiative is for the other 94% of us who aren’t in fields that naturally generate ideas.

In fact, many people shy away from starting a business out of fear of having no ideas, or too many ideas – both symptoms of ineffective prioritizing. This applies to dating and social skills, too.

Everywhere you look, when we want to get good at something, we have to start somewhere.

Here’s Joshua...

The 4 Stages of Pickup and Seduction Development

stages of pickup development
Most guys who discover the seduction community don’t taste the fruits of real success with women, because they get stuck. What stage are you at, and how can you progress?

For most guys starting out, learning how to approach women is about as fun as hammer fisting themselves in the nuts. But there comes a point when it goes from being terrifying and horrible to heroin-level addictive.

Many men ask me the question: “How long does it take to become good?”

There’s no direct answer. It depends on your desired outcome.

If you want to achieve a goal, it helps to know what that goal is.

How Boys Become Men in the Modern World

how boys become men
There isn’t a single event or ritual that can make you a man, yet many believe there is – and that they’ve missed it. Becoming a man has always been a process of choices.

I’ve heard time and time again on the internet that “guys aren’t becoming men these days,” so it might be important to address this idea.

I want to help illuminate what parts of this statement are wrong, what parts are deceptive, and what parts are correct.

First off, let me say there has never been a perfect time to exist and there probably never will be, so let’s not look at this statement too seriously. Instead, we will do a better job of looking at each part as we reflect on the true way a boy can become a man in today’s world.

Sow Your Wild Oats! College Wasn’t Your Only Chance

sow your wild oats
College is touted as THE place to sow your wild oats, so guys who didn’t get it done then feel they missed out forever. But nothing could be further from the truth!

I wrote an April Fools’ Day article this year that focused on college – a “what if” theme meant to be satirical but has its roots in peoples’ desires to relive the college experience. We often get posters on the boards (and ironically, across many different forums on other social skills websites, too) who lament about not having a proper college experience that is dream-like à la the movies.

This could include being part of a fraternity, being able to day drink constantly while being one of the most popular kids in school and always having access to hot girls with little to no effort. The focus is being part of a social group and a “brotherhood” dedicated to having some wild experiences. While it’s true that college is a truly liberating time in life, I firmly believe that a lack of experience in college doesn’t hinder your successes later in life.

What was shocking to me is how many people took that article seriously, then really pondered what it would be like to relive college and do it all over again. Thinking about it more myself, I realized a greater thought – that every single guy needs to get their “wild side” out of their system sometime in their life. In other words, every guy needs to sow his wild oats. Guys that don’t do this seem to think they’ve somehow missed out on life, and thus hold a lot of regrets about where they were and what they have to do to recover.

However, this isn’t meant to be anything that advocates being a victim. You might not realize it, but it’s never too late to start doing something – anything – as long as you’re still alive and physically healthy, breathing, and capable. As we’ll see, it’s never too late for a guy to sow his wild oats.

10 Most Common Reasons Guys Can't Get Laid

can't get laid
The reasons a guy can’t get laid may be simple, but more often it’s not so intuitive. Here are the usual suspects, some of which you may have never considered.

“Why Can’t I Get Laid?”

After many years of teaching pickup, I can narrow down the reasons why so many guys can’t get laid.

This article may help you self-diagnose some of your inner and outer game issues if you’re stuck in a vicious cycle of no sex. These tips will help you break free and score some lovin’ again – or for the first time.

So here are the top 10 factors I see in guys who just can’t get laid.

Not Getting the Results You Want? Change Something About Yourself

no results? change yourself
If you’ve ever been stuck in a rut – and got out of it – you may have noticed your emergence came with a change. Here’s why to embrace change rather than stagnate.

Trial and error is an essential process in learning about and developing yourself. It can apply to many aspects of life, especially with women and dating. It can be hard to admit that something you’re doing when it comes to dating may not be working in your favor.

Obviously, if you knew that, it wouldn’t be a problem, so to process this, it’s beneficial to think about your past relationships or hookups. If you realize that your current method in whatever you are pursuing isn’t benefiting you, then the natural response should be to change your method to get different results – ideally positive results.

This change can happen on many levels: your appearance, social circle, or daily activities. Change may even occur on a more personal level that could, in turn, shape your perspective on what type of women interest you. More importantly, know that you have many resources available to help you make the change necessary. In changing something about yourself, know that you don’t have to be a guinea pig.

How Frame Control Affects Your Entire Interactions with Girls

frame control and interactions with girls
In this follow-up article on frame control, we discuss – from a macro perspective – how the frames you set affect your whole interaction with a girl.

Hey, guys. Welcome back. If you read my previous article on frames (which you should, as frames and frame control are some of the most important concepts in seduction), you understand how pickup, dating, and seduction are not FULLY sequential processes.

Now, they are sequential to some extent – as you do open first, then hook, before eventually isolating, seducing, extracting, and having sex.

But it is clear that:

  • How well you open will have an impact on how easily you hook

  • How well you hook will define how easily you can isolate, build rapport, seduce, and most importantly, SET FRAMES

And here is the MOST KEY ITEM:

  • How well you set the frames will DEFINE EVERYTHING that follows, including how much compliance you will have, what you can and can’t get away with, how easily it will be to extract, how easy or hard it will be to escalate, how much resistance you will face, if any, and so on.

So, frames are important, as you can see. But what is also interesting is how pickup, seduction, and dating is a semi-sequential process. Yes, there are sequences to follow, but each sequence sets the pace, tone, and overall vibe of the upcoming steps. This is exactly what FRAMING does!

But you already know this if you read my previous post. If not, then you better check it out, as most articles on Girls Chase will make more sense after you do.

This post is a continuation. Now, if you know everything about framing, you may skip my previous post, but recaps never hurt.

In this post we will discuss the effects of frames on interactions – we will explain how setting frames affects the whole interaction – taking a macro perspective. What are good frames vs. bad frames and what roles do they play?

Next week we will move on to take a micro perspective and discuss how frames are set in the different sequences of an interaction. Let’s get on with it.

The Value of Putting Your Thoughts and Goals on Paper

write down your goals
If you don’t chronicle your goals and achievements, kick yourself in the ass and start now. Here’s how it will impact your motivation, success, and fulfillment in life.

Will setting goals speed up or improve your game? Of course – but it’s one of those things you should absolutely do... but probably won’t.

When I first started my pickup journey, I didn’t want to improve my communication skills or achieve social freedom. I wanted to bang college babes. A lot of them. That was my only goal.

Looking back, I could have greatly decreased the time it took to learn the fundamentals if I’d had a proper training regimen, with specific goals.

Rather than goals, I had the desire, which is powerful but somewhat unfocused and inefficient. For some reason, having goals felt like stripping the journey of all its mystery and romance. Sort of like the tortured artist who thinks marketing is selling out.

I didn’t see these sexual desires as goals. My drive to succeed with women was purely instinctual. Just like you need water, I need hot girls. I would never be happy dating mediocre women. It was learn pickup – or become a monk.

But I got over my aversion to writing down goals, and I’m glad I did. Today, I’d be kicking myself if I didn’t. Now I have a dozen journals chronicling years of field research – lists of goals and desired achievements.

14 Ways Social Control Is Used on You

Social Control
For civilization to thrive, is social control a necessity? Perhaps, but we must be mindful of people and groups who seek to manipulate us to our detriment.

Social control. It sounds very 1984-ish, doesn’t it?

It is, in some ways. In others, it’s natural and understandable.

It's something that is always pulling at you – the social equivalent of gravity. Even from long distances, it has an effect.

And it comes from everyone.

When we think of “social control,” we get the idea that there’s some monolithic, maleficent force specifically targeting us and trying to get us to bend.

It is not so simple.

Yes, there are diverse and powerful organizations which are trying to control you. It could be a news station, a top-followed Instagram account, a religious body, or a government.

Those organizations include individuals, all of whom have personal agendas, both hidden and open.

Those people may all pledge allegiance to a common goal, but even then, the purity of their commitment to the group and their interpretation of that group’s goal may differ, person to person.

If a group of people aligns tightly with a singular goal, or at least the messages they deliver (e.g., a news station’s regular broadcasts) echo this singular goal or plan, the effectiveness of that social control is heightened.

Given your life experiences, and by doing some imaginative math about how many different groups are trying to control you, it is clear that you are being pulled in many directions.

The way I see it, even more confusing is that none of these groups are evil or good.

Of course, you have a moral stance and will judge various influences as good, neutral, or evil, but from a bird’s eye view, there is simply an array of consequences that occur because of your actions and everyone else’s actions.

I’m not here to moralize, but I am here to argue from the point of this website’s goals. There are social controls that inhibit your sexual freedom and ability as a man to forge his destiny.

I’m here to point out some of the biggest influences that attempt to control you, as I believe them antithetical to the goal of having a free and abundant position in the sexual marketplace.

There are hundreds of influences being thrust upon you every day, but here are 14 of the most powerful social controls that I believe you should be aware of and resist, as they inhibit your ability to be the best man you can be.

These social controls try to do one thing: convince you to adopt a belief.

If they can convince you that X is bad and Y is good, then you will follow their agenda or reinforce their worldview. It’s that simple.

To make you aware of social control, I will explain what “they” try to make you believe, the motivation behind that attempt at social control; I'll provide examples of who will try to convince you of this control. As you’ll see, “they” can’t actually stop you from doing what you want, and in most cases, they can only convince you – through shame and fear – how to act.