Building Equity | Girls Chase

Building Equity

The Dynamics of Meeting Women when It’s Not a Priority

women not a priority
When other things in life take priority over meeting women, it can hurt you, or help you. Which depends on the vibe you give out and your ability to pick up on signals.

Sometimes you’re just not in the mood to get with new girls. It happens to all of us. People have slumps when they’re not succeeding with women, or they’re simply too busy with day-to-day life. Heavy work, social commitments, school, tests, or even extensive work travel can deeply interfere with your dating goals.

I’ve faced this problem often as I am now self-employed. Work travel commitments call, and while it opens interesting opportunities with women in new places, I can also kiss my regular dating life goodbye.

Cold approach success, whether in day game or night game, requires some consistency. We can best describe momentum as the consistency of success. It’s like being hot-handed in basketball; in momentum, you’re in a mental zone conducive to a winning game. Whether you call it a vibe or a state of mind, your decision-making and efforts are in tune, and everything you do conveys the winner’s attitude that women find very attractive in men.

When you experience low momentum and low desire, the results are different. Socialization, especially with women, might feel tedious in such periods. Your vibe is just “off,” as are your results. The good news is that all issues with low momentum and desire are solvable, and quickly.

It’s easy to shift out of it if you know how!

What Does It Mean to Be "Passionate"?

passionate
What are you passionate about? Do you even know? Let’s explore what fuels passion and how to discover what drives and fulfills you in work, life, and love.

What does it mean to be passionate? And why is it important to have passion?

One of the biggest problems I see in 99% of guys I work with is not knowing what to say to women. When I ask them what they’re passionate about, they shrug their shoulders. They have no clue. It’s a question they’ve never been asked or really thought about. No wonder their conversations with women are as interesting as talking to a toaster.

Most of us are so addicted to consuming massive quantities of data from our smartphones that our brains become stuffed with garbage, most of which we can’t remember a few hours later.

It’s through sharing that we realize our passions, but we don’t share our thoughts in human, face-to-face interactions as much as we did before social media.

There’s a reason I make my coaching clients take notes, write field reports, and discuss their approaches with me and on forums. When you discuss things with other minds, you sort out the information and cement the lessons learned. When you get excited to share something with other people, that’s when you know you’re truly passionate about it.

So why is it important to feel passion, and to be passionate?

  • It makes life worth living

  • It’s a contagious and inspiring emotion that lifts people’s spirits and brings others closer to you

  • It’s a strong motivator for creating, exploring, and improving

  • It’s sexy

How to Set Aside Time to Learn Game and Master Seduction

get good with women
To accelerate the process of developing your game and skills with women, momentum is key. You get that by dedicating time and staying focused on the right things.

To get good at the seduction game requires time, and a lot of it. The results of your efforts are well worth it in the long run, but the journey can be a struggle for most men. Take my word for it.

Seven years into learning game, and just a few weeks away from being in the triple digits of partners, I still feel like an intermediate when it comes to game and women. There’s so much to learn to become really good. A great way to streamline your journey with women is to set aside the appropriate amount of time to learn and practice game.

Guys sometimes only focus on learning game from a textbook before applying dedicated time to go out. Or they might practice in a piecemeal fashion, sporadically going out and approaching women when it’s super convenient. I’ve used both methods in my journey. I attest that there is a third, far superior means of hustling to learn how to game. The best method is to dedicate specific, regular, and frequent blocks of time to the art.

As with learning or building anything of value, developing skills requires dedication. For women and game, you’ll realize the benefits after dedicating chunks of time to learning and practice. Think of it like going to the gym. While you might feel good (and sore) for a day or two after your first workout, you’ll feel significant results after four days in a row. Then, if you go to the gym four days in a row for eight weeks, you’ll visually see and physically feel the results of your actions.

Qualities That Propel You to Dating Success

success with women
If you want learn how to become successful with women as quickly as possible, these particular traits and mindsets will accelerate your progress.

If you want to be amazing with women, there’s one mindset that will land you more success than any other:

The ability to deal with rejection.

When guys ask me what it takes to become amazing with women, I tell them the only thing that separates them from me, is that I’ll face rejection more in a week than they will in their entire life. It’s true. The best salesmen aren’t always the top closers; they just knock on more doors.

Guys also ask me how long it will take to learn and get good. I’ve written articles trying to explain and quantify something like this, but it’s really up to individual experience, work ethic, and the emotional fortitude to deal with a crapload of rejection.

That got me wondering... what qualities make a guy learn success with women quickly? Is there a certain mindset you can embody to become a champion in the shortest amount of time possible? What are the personality quirks and characteristics you can work on to master your transformation in this lifetime?

Approach One Thousand Women and Believe

pickup seduction snake oil
Is pickup just a bunch of snake oil? No, and you should take my word for it. After you’ve approached enough girls, you’ll wonder why you ever doubted.

A reader from my newsletter messaged me: “This pickup artist stuff is a scam. All women care about is looks. Pickup guys market to the insecure, selling snake oil.”

“So, how long have you been reading my blog?” I replied.

“About two years now.”

“Why?”

“For the lols.”

For the lols. Right.

It’s the old, eternal debate. Is all this pickup stuff for real, or just a huge set of lies created to sell BS e-courses to hapless, neckbeard virgins? And unless you’re 6’5” with six-pack abs, a full head of luscious hair, and are wealthy, you’ll never get anywhere.

Sorry, you short, bald, broke, fat old bastards. No love for you (unless you buy my book, link at the bottom of this post).

Usually, you should be skeptical. Skepticism is healthy and good.

Somebody is trying to sell you on a pyramid scheme with zero chance of failure? The Earth is actually flat, says your favorite YouTuber? Meth isn’t really that bad, and if you just try it once you’ll be fine?

Skepticism keeps you from wasting your time, health, and money on things that are potentially terrible for you. However, when it comes to self-improvement, skepticism won’t help you; it will hinder your progress.

That’s why so many religions and cults thrive. They depend on the true believers. But the believers also get something from the deal. They receive a community, or message, that helps them transcend or something.

You probably just want to get laid.

When I discovered the Mystery Method, I wasn’t skeptical; not at all. Why would I be? A magician in a top hat is telling me to use negs and magic tricks to sleep with Vegas supermodels. There’s absolutely nothing there to trigger skepticism.

Here’s the thing. All this information is free. Sure, Girls Chase has a subscription and paywall, and we sell an amazing course called One Date (among others), but that’s because we employ a dozen gurus, editors, programmers, video editors, and so on. These people have to eat. But if you Google “How to pick up girls,” between blogs, forums, and YouTube videos, you’ll find decades of material you can binge on for free.

The only benefit to paying for it is to support your favorite author, pinpoint specific niche material or masterful consolidations of the essentials in one beautiful package to speed up your learning process. But you don’t need to pay for it if you don’t need to save time.

Skepticism won’t help you.

You have to ask yourself, "Do I really want to learn?" Then you have to believe in the process, fully. You must let go of all doubt and embrace the path of learning game.

The Game Never Ends

seduction game goes on
Cherish the grind, the journey of achieving your goals. Enjoy the struggle and hope it never ends, because your worst fear should be having everything you desire.

Many years ago, I lamented my lack of ability to attract 9s and 10s. I posted about this on a forum, and a black ex-pimp dating coach named “Player Supreme” made a podcast about it. He gave me a great insight that nobody else could or would say.

“You’re not 9 and 10 material.”

Ouch.

His advice was simple. Stop studying, go to the gym, lift, increase my income, and lower my standards.

That’s not what Tony Robbins would say!

Well, I went to the gym, but I never got huge. I started my own business, and I’m still not rich. I have really great game but still can’t get 9s and 10s with the consistency of a Vampire or Rock Star.

But my life is pretty great in comparison to that guy who just wanted to bang a 9. Been there, done that – many times. And the only aspect of this journey I can correlate to this is age and experience. The more you play, the better you get.

But you know, looking back, what he was saying makes perfect sense. If you want a 9, become a 9. (Side note: we all know there’s no such thing as a 10.)

Player Supreme was saying not to chase the girls who are out of your league, but rather become the guy who is out of their league, and combine that with game.

Now my goals are much simpler. I want:

Check, check, check, and check.

So enough about me. Let's talk about how you can set standards – realistic standards – to help you achieve your goals?

The Worst Battlegrounds for Getting Good with Women

getting good with women
Some dating methods are terrible for guys learning to attract the women they desire. If you’re learning game, do NOT focus on these battlegrounds.

I have noticed that many men are shooting themselves in the foot and purposely selecting battles and battlefields that are not beneficial for them when it comes to dating.

For example, when guys want to get laid, many will use:

With the right strategies and skills, you can find success is all those battlegrounds, but to be honest, all are relatively crappy compared to others available, especially for beginners.

Picking poor battlefields as the selected method for dating is also counter-intuitive – making this not only more difficult for themselves but also limiting their results and making the process much more frustrating.

This post is partly meant to express some frustration I’m experiencing and answer many commonly asked questions. This post will hopefully clarify my thoughts on simplifying the process of getting laid and finding girlfriends, and help guys make the best use of their time and energy.

Let’s get right to it.

14 Secrets to Being a Sexy Older Man

sexy older man
It’s the truth: women are attracted to sexy older men! Here’s how to age like a fine wine and bed girls who’ll cure your erectile dysfunction rather than cause it.

I’ve had a lot of clients who are insecure about their age. For many, they get older, but their desire for young women remains. They fear that they’ll lose their youth, and aren’t sure how to find their “sexy older man” appeal.

If you’re wise, you can be a hot, sexy older man, rather than the “gross” old guy. But it may take a little self-awareness, strategy, and work ethic.

 

Defining “Older”

For the purpose of this article, I’ll say “older” is between 40-60 years.

Life experience-wise, this is a huge age range. Much can happen in those 20 years. Your entire identity could shift and morph multiple times. You could start and end dozens of relationships, careers, have kids, grandkids, survive wars and cancer. Who you are at 40 won’t be who you are at 60, no doubt – just as who you are at 20 won’t be who you are at 40.

I’m not going to coach you on how to find meaning in your life as you spiral toward the grave. I’m just going to teach you 14 secrets to being a sexy older man, so you can still score those hot younger women without paying for it.

 

Are You a Sexy Older Man?

The brutal truth is that many of you will fade out of the dating market and become nearly invisible in the eyes of young, beautiful women. Why?

Because you are:

You’re out of shape, with a ring of gray around your skull, creases so deep they hide civilizations; you dress like a nerd, have a massive pot belly, and are completely out of touch with youth culture and interests.

But you still want those hot young girls. Or maybe you just want a fulfilling sex life with attractive women your age. Either way, these tips will get you on track.

What may be most important for you to understand is that there are plenty of men like yours truly, who at 41 still travel the world, go to parties, and bang girls in their early twenties. Likely I’ll still be able to do that when I’m 60, should I wish to.

What’s interesting about age is that I know fat and bald guys in their twenties and thirties who do great with women. So it’s not necessarily the lack of hair or a spare tire that scares the young beauties away. What is it, then?

Is it your style?

Your belief system?

Do you feel too old, that you should just date women your own age and not be a “dirty old man”? Screw that, right?

There are plenty of older guys who still get with women 10, 20, even 40 years younger than them.

For whatever reason, there’s something that these young women want, be it money, status, fame, power, wisdom, or preference. Women go with much older men, all the time.

Like many things in life, in order to achieve it, you have to believe it’s possible. Your mindset matters and you have to get real.

If you feel you’re too old, you will be. Whatever you feel, she feels. You believe, you project.

Ultimately, if you’re a stinky old geriatric, expect to pay for that loving.

That said, without further ado, let’s discuss how not to be a stinky old geriatric, but rather a sexy older man who can bed women he’s actually attracted to.

Joshua Spodek | Taking Initiative (Podcast)

Welcome back to Dating Mechanics, our podcast here on Girls Chase! Today I feature a special guest who was recommended to me by Chase. Joshua Spodek is an expert in leadership, training, and taking initiative. He has a PhD and an MBA, writes a column for Inc., and has five Ivy league degrees.

In this podcast, we’re here to talk about his new book Initiative, in which Josh shares how anyone can start taking initiative to create extraordinary results in all aspects of life.

Most entrepreneurial resources require you to start with an idea and a team – big hurdles that increase the challenge. Initiative is for the other 94% of us who aren’t in fields that naturally generate ideas.

In fact, many people shy away from starting a business out of fear of having no ideas, or too many ideas – both symptoms of ineffective prioritizing. This applies to dating and social skills, too.

Everywhere you look, when we want to get good at something, we have to start somewhere.

Here’s Joshua...