Opening

At times you’ll meet women who get one over on you. They extract a free drink or meal, ditch you for another guy, use you for an ego boost, or more. How should you respond?

On our forum, there's a field report a member of ours shared where a beautiful girl he met in a nightclub tricked him into buying a drink, then strung him along after that.

The drink-buy then triggered the predictable possession/reciprocation instinct any guy who's been manipulated into buying things for women has experienced. That in turn led our forum member, who's usually a pretty solid guy, to make a bunch more mistakes and dig a much deeper hole than he normally would.

He was honest about how things went:

• He felt tricked
• He felt angry
• He wanted to 'win'

... and all those emotions caused him to continue to pursue this girl, digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole.

I went through many such situations early on in my seduction career.

Most guys will -- especially guys who do night game, and especially guys who do clubs.

When it happens, you will typically know you are doing something wrong -- as Beam did here -- but you will do it anyway, driven by emotions of wanting to get back your pride, balance things out with this woman who tooled you, and save face.

But this is almost never the right course of action: it won't get you the girl, and it won't improve your outing.

Instead, you must deal with embarrassing/humiliating situations with women in-field in a different way.

When you open a new conversation with a girl, it should be casual. You want to keep the pressure low to avoid spooking her and scaring her off.

I was checking Reddit and came across a few interesting posts by women. Here's part of one:

[W]hen a guy walks up to me on the street when I'm going somewhere and he outright says to me something along the lines of "Hey, you're pretty, what's your name", I'm almost always startled and want to leave asap. First, because I'm usually in a rush and need to get somewhere and he's stopping me and making me be late, second, because I already know what's on his mind. And don't get me wrong - it's really nice that someone thinks I'm attractive and I don't suspect every guy to constantly think of sex, it's just... he's already stating, in his very first words to me, that he's only talking to me because he's thinking of me in a "date material" sort of way.

...

On the other hand, I've also been approached in bars, in clubs, on campus and in supermarkets/shops. What those situations had in common was me not rushing anywhere and those guys starting a conversation with saying something casual, for example asking about the lettering on my tote bag (it's sort of a wordplay). One mentioned that he thought my glasses were really cool and then showing me his, which were almost identical; another one asked me if I knew what the bar's specialty was etc.

...

Basically what I'm trying to say is: all of the successful approaches were super laid back (I didn't feel 'hunted down'), gave me a chance to escape them without saying that I'm not interested (it's actually quite hard to tell such a thing to someone) or lying about having a boyfriend (that only happens when a guy is too persisent). Those guys also made it really easy for me to get into a conversation with them and actually let me talk to them like I'm a normal person (not just an object of physical attraction), thus making it easier to either exchange numbers or just expand our social circles (without any pressure). They made me feel like a nice human being, worthy of their attention not just because of my looks but rather because they found me be an interesting person to talk to (girlfriend material or not).

I don't recall having seen posts by women on r/seduction in the past. But apparently nowadays women are going on there, making positive comments about approaches they've experienced, and encouraging men to approach. Fun to speculate on why, but that's outside the purview of this piece.

Regardless, this gal raises a topic I'd like to explore more today: that of not startling girls when you approach, by keeping your approaches lower pressure.

Does it seem like sexually experienced women are more likely to reject you if you’re less aggressive or don’t go for things right now? Expectations + experience are the reasons why.

We're going to talk about some fairly advanced attraction psychology in this article. However, if you stick with it, the responses you see from different types of women will start to make a lot more sense. It will also make even clearer to you the importance of moving faster and refining your calibration with women.

Commenting on my article about myths about women novice seducers often believe, a reader named Marco asked the following:

But in your experience so far, have you ever came across a girls ( "sluts") who will perceive you as too "soft" and sexually inexperienced if you asked them out on a date? Maybe its all in my head but i think there are some type of girls who reacts much better to sexually aggressive guys, might even say uncalibrated guys, who immediately suggest casual hook ups oppose to guys who want to take them out for a drinks?

Well, for one, I have, but, for two, it's not quite so black-and-white as one might think.

This article is going to be something of an unofficial companion to Alek's piece on the easiness or not of sexually liberated vs. sexually reserved women yesterday (haven't run it by him so I don't want to call it 'official'... but it's right up that piece's alley).

You can absolutely take sexually open women out on dates while still maintaining the sexually aggressive playboy frame. Likewise, it is possible to have sexually reserved women so amped up hoping you'll make something happen with them now that they become disappointed when you do not.

So, while sometimes open or slutty girls will look down on you if you try to date them rather than pull them, they may not. And while many times reserved girls will be perfectly fine with dates, from time to time they won't be.

What determines whether a girl likes or dislikes your attempts to pull her or date her?

A big part of it is the interplay between you, and your response to her signals.

When you’re on the prowl, and you’re not sure a woman is sufficiently liberated for your purposes, what do you do with her? Well, you screen her… next her, if she doesn’t measure up… then return.

Here's a devious little tactic you can use in social circle settings or anywhere you have a 'captive audience'.

First off: this tactic is not so well suited to cold approach.

You can use it sometimes, in some cold approach scenarios, such as early on in a bar or nightclub (e.g., if you are doing shotgun opening / hit-and-run game).

But it is really best suited to situations where you are going to see a woman again and again.

You are going to use this tactic to get girls to get on-board with the way you want to seduce them or pick them up. It will both make compliant girls feel extra special, and make non-compliant girls become a lot more compliant (if not now, then in the future).

It's simple to do, but it takes some balls.

There are two tried and tested ways to approach a mixed group. One is to wait for the opportune moment. The other? Mystery Method.

Hey guys, welcome back.

Last week we discussed mixed groups and the tendency guys have to immediately assume that any men interacting with girls must be part of their group, when they could have met the girls that same night.

You can’t assume all men in a club will spend the entire night idle. Some approach girls eventually (especially after binging booze — if you’re able to do the same somewhat sober you’ll enjoy a significant advantage).

In my experience, most men don’t cold approach much (unless drunk) in bars and clubs, but it still happens. Cultural differences can play a part. In some more social cultures, men walk up to talk to girls more often.

What if you happen to belong to a culture where that is not the norm? It could be that the guys with the girl you fancy know each other. But does that mean they’re part of the same group?

Mixed groups are more challenging than single-girl sets. But are all guys with girls signs of a mixed set?

Hey guys.

I was hanging out in the Skilled Seducer chat (the live chat in our online discussion forum), and member DaVinciMatrixStyle asked a great question, which guys often ask:

Every man has the potential to become sizzlingly seductive to women. But not every man is willing to put in the effort.

Resistance is arguably the most frustrating experience in a new game student's journey to improve his sex life with cold approach.

After working up the courage to open - and begin a new interaction - it can appear in different forms, like:

• Flaky phone numbers

• The dreaded last-minute resistance (LMR)

• Dismissive knee-jerk reactions to openers

These obstacles can even bring headaches to a skilled seducer.

However, there is a quality so tempting most women find it just about impossible to resist.

You’ve most likely heard of it before. It’s called charm. But what is it exactly?

The Algerian seducer and philosopher Albert Camus said:

““You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer 'yes' without asking a clear question.”

In other words, instead of asking new women blunt questions when trying to pick them up, you just speak and behave in deliberately suggestive ways. When done right, the girls you meet find you extraordinarily persuasive because your suggestions allow them to convince themselves they want you, instead of the other way around.

A charming man masks his cleverness by deflecting attention from himself and focusing it on his girls. He understands their point of view, boosts their self-esteem, and brings pleasure to the subconscious mind.

He appears as an indulging beam of light, making them feel big and powerful. He is the grand mage - who has internalized the law of least effort - to cast spells targeted at the weakest points of the women he meets:

• Their vanity

• Their desire for focused attention

We will be breaking this process down today.

First, note that people love to exaggerate their importance, even if it's only in the private world of their own mind. This, incidentally, is what makes even the most desirable women in the world vulnerable, since even these dream-caliber babes don’t tire of having their self-worth validated.

The satisfaction of this primal desire underpins the state of generalized addiction to social media we find ourselves in today. Still, a flickering screen can’t compete with the presence of a charming man, for his social graces have led many a woman into complete dependence.

Another quote to consider in today’s article is a classic:

““With great power, comes great responsibility.”