Opening

An intimate feeling during a seduction is crucial to moving forward. Without it, you may never get far with women, no matter how many approaches you make.

Sometimes guys go out to meet girls and girls can tell the guy isn't fully into them.

This may be due to the guy not wanting to throw all his chips in on a girl, to avoid the sting if she rejects him.

Or it might be a consequence of him going around in social butterfly mode, and not being able to commit to an interaction with any one girl.

Regardless, the girl can tell the guy has only one foot in the seduction... and the other foot out of it.

And since he hasn't committed to their interaction, neither too does she.

Thus starts a vicious circle for "one-foot-in" seducers, as they bounce from girl to girl, never committed to their interactions, finding the women they meet do not commit to things either, so that they themselves continue to not commit to their conversations, whether to protect themselves or to keep themselves moving, and on the cycle goes.

Many guys who burn out of nightlife cold approach or day game cold approach are guys who do this... guys who never (or rarely ever) commit to an interaction with a woman.

Women follow your lead (if they like you and accept you as a leader).

If you do not commit to a courtship, women will not commit to it.

Sure, you will occasionally get girls to chase you despite your non-committal nature.

However, the vast majority of the time, with the vast majority of the girls, if you want to get anywhere, you have to go both feet in.

There's an old seduction tactic called 'pawning'.

When you pawn a girl, you trade one girl in for another.

This is something you'll mostly use in social venues, like bars, parties, and networking events.

Pawning relies on the principles of social proof (people like people whom other people like) and preselection (women find more attractive those men whom other women like).

It also takes advantage of the fact that women usually have much lower guards when approached by a strange man and woman than they when a strange man alone approaches.

What is pawning?

Pawning is when you bring another girl along you've met with you to meet new people... then leave the old girl in the new group, while you pair off with a new girl from the group you've just approached. You have, in effect, pawned your old girl off for someone new. Pawning is useful for trading up to more attractive women, or women who are more attracted to you.

Often in social venues, the prettiest girls there will not be standing around by themselves. Instead they'll be in groups, and you need to find a way into the group to access the girls. Pawning is a way to gain access.

You won't always be super active with approaching new women.

You'll go through stretches where you're focused on work or other things. You might only approach opportunistically, to girls who show a lot of interest. Or you might break off approaching entirely for a time.

After you take a little time away like this, after a while when you want to get back to approaching, the rust comes back... and you have to deal with approach anxiety all over again.

When you're not in the habit approaching a lot, especially when you're not in the habit of making uninvited approaches (where the girl hasn't signaled you to open), there's anxiety.

• What am I going to say to her? you'll ask yourself.

• I'm not warmed up, I don't feel confident using one of my regular openers.

• I'm not sure what I'll say to her AFTER the opener.

• She's not in an easy place to get to, if she isn't into me it's going to be awkward to move away from there.

You might go out intending to chat up women, and end up chatting to no one.

Yet, there's something you may have once known... something you forget when you don't approach as actively.

And as soon as you remember it, you can be fine.

You start approaching again in earnest, shake the approach anxiety off, and have no trouble meeting girl after girl.

That one thing you can remember (or learn, if you hadn't previously known it) -- the one great trick you can use to get yourself approaching after a hiatus from it -- is the difference between creating attraction and finding attraction.

In my last article, I talked about putting in your practice to get good with girls.

Let's take a break from all this practice, and grinding, and gradual improvement. What if you just want to hook up with a girl... as soon as possible?

One of the things we discussed last article was going out in 'make it happen mode', and how if you know what you're doing you can actually pull this off.

On my article "I'm Doing Everything to Succeed with Women but It's Still Not Working!", Bizzy comments:

But I have a question: have you ever done an article about how to get sex the fastest way, without doing dates, online dating, chatting and all that stuff? I mean like, only cold approach a woman and then having sex immediately?! I used to do this in my early 20s and was actually successful a few times, but now I am older and don't feel like approaching 100 women to get a few lays. I want to approach just a few women that I think I have a shot with and then close the deal. I am just lazy now, I am sick of dating, talking, pretending and all that. Women notice me, they smile and look at me but I really don't like to take them out on dates, I just would like to take them home and have fun, like when I see a hot girl in a store.

This is sort of one of the Holy Grails of seduction, and it's not usually something you will consistently pull off. So just be aware of that going in.

However, it is indeed something you can do.

Today, we're going to talk about it.

You can’t get anywhere with that fine chica unless you meet her, so it helps to know how to start a conversation with a girl that intrigues her and sets things in motion.

Every guy wants to know how to start conversations with girls. It's not too hard; you just open your mouth, force air through your lungs, and form vowels.

But still, this is where the vast majority of men fail: at the opener. They let their imagination run wild with all sorts of egoic chatter, creating false timelines, zipping into the future, through the past, and everywhere except right NOW.

Guys ask me how to start conversations with girls at the mall, on the phone, on the bus, in groups, and alone. The list of potential opening situations is virtually endless, limited only by the imagination (opening during a zombie apocalypse, a bank robbery, in a nude sauna, etc.).

At times like these, I want to grab guys by the feet and haul them back to Earth.

We call these cerebral wanderings “mental masturbation.”

So in this guide, I’m going to simplify the process as much as possible. I’m not a fan of micro-managing the meta details of seduction; I’m more of a minimalist. I believe in the power of language and persuasion, yes. But when it comes to starting conversations with women you'd like to get naked in your bed, it’s infinitely more about how you say what you say, rather than what you say. That's the real secret you need to discover here – it's the "how" that should be your focus. Let's get into why that is.

If you have a little trouble approaching (or sticking with it after the first few approaches), just switch yourself over to “pickup practice mode.”

There are three different 'going out modes' a guy can be in when he might meet girls:

1. Just hanging out mode
2. Make something happen mode
3. Pickup practice mode

One of the major differentiators between different skill levels of seducer is what mode the guy gets 'hung up' in. Because to do truly well with women you want to be able to use all three.

In a world where everyone’s noses are glued to their phones, a woman lowering her phone around you can be a telling sign she likes you.

Ever since smart phones became ubiquitous, guys on seduction forums have had a selection of similar questions/complaints:

• "Girls are too absorbed in their phones to approach!"
• "How do I get girls to take their head phones out?"
• "I can't get approach invitations anymore, women don't even look up now!"

Several nights ago I walked down the street and marveled to myself at how ubiquitous it was: men and women of all ages, young and old alike, totally entranced by their smart phones. Smart phones aren't some 'young hip thing' that all the kids are on and the old folks haven't clued into. Everyone is.

Every solo person I passed on the street had his nose glued to a phone, or, in a few cases, didn't, but was talking to someone via earphones or a Bluetooth headset instead.

Even in some of the groups I passed, some or all of the people would have their phones out in front of them as they talked and laughed to friends.

That might seem like a major approach inhibitor if you came up in the old days where people were more, shall we say, present in their environment. How can you approach a girl when she's so occupied already?

I actually quite like the global smart phone addiction, for two reasons:

1. It's a lot lower pressure to approach anywhere people have their phones out now (which is pretty much anywhere other than a dance floor these days), because bystanders are far more absorbed in their own cell phone adventures and pay even less attention to you

2. You will find out pretty quick if she is going to be willing to ditch her phone to talk to you, or not. Which is about as big an obvious proceed/don't proceed sign as you're going to get (this makes it simpler to weed out the uninterested gals, who quickly return to their phones, from the interested ones, who zero in on you, or at least linger away from their phones)

However, I want to highlight one specific quirk of behavior you'll see with women on phones when they like you.

This is a sign a girl likes you that is pretty obvious once you're aware of it. You've likely seen it a bunch already, and are subconsciously aware of it. Well, now we're going to make it conscious, so you can act on it as soon as you see it.

That sign is that when she's awaiting your approach or engagement, she will put her phone down or sometimes may (gasp) put it away.

Use the 3-minute rule before you approach a girl. If someone will disrupt you or pull her away in the first 3 minutes of conversation, don't approach her (yet).

A little while back, we covered the 3-second rule. The 3-second rule is a tactic you can use to get yourself to approach women before you lose your nerve. It's a useful rule. You won't always use it, but if you struggle with approach anxiety, it should be your default.

Today we'll talk about a different tactic called the 3-Minute Rule. Although it sounds the same, this is a different rule with a different purpose. The 3-second rule's purpose is to get you to approach. The 3-minute rule is to focus your approaches and get you to avoid time-wasters... so you can zero in on worthwhile women.

As you use this rule more, you'll find your approaches succeed more. Early pickup wildcards will bother you less. And meeting women will grow more relaxed and easier.

Despite the stories about creeps harassing girls at malls, these female-rich locales are among the best places to meet women. Here’s how to do it right.

For the many years I’ve been teaching guys how to meet women in the daytime, I’d say that (other than the beach) there’s no better location than the mall. And I’ll admit, I’m a bit of an expert at picking up girls at the mall.

The main issue most men have with malls is that it’s not outside, so it feels different. It’s always like this: a guy who’s used to meeting girls at bars can’t do malls; a guy who’s used to streets can’t do malls, and so on. It’s something about the change from the comfortable to uncomfortable, familiar to unfamiliar environments that throws guys off.

That’s why, as a student looking to improve your game, you should put yourself into as many new situations, in as many different environments as possible. Then you're much less likely to get stuck when something unexpected happens.

For example: you spot a pretty girl walking in the mall, so you start to approach her, and she ducks into a clothing store. Oh, now you can’t approach her because she’s in a store, so you stand around outside scratching your nuts, waiting for her to come back out, feeling more and more creepy with every minute, and then just give up.

But if you’d taken the time to put yourself into a situation like this before, you’d be prepared when it inevitably happens again.

Not being able to approach a girl walking into a store at the mall is like not being able to meet women on the dance floor at the bar. Half the venue is useless to you, so you have half the opportunity to meet your dream girl.

A simple, fun, direct opener to use on girls who are stationary and alone. "I'm too distracted by you" puts the blame on HER for being too cute.

This is a little gem from the old mASF seduction forums (credit: Lifeguard).

It goes like this: you're out somewhere and see a pretty girl, so you approach, give your name, tell her she distracted you with her cuteness, and ask her name.

Example:

You're in the café and see a girl. You approach her and tell her, "Hi, I'm Lucas. I was sitting over there trying to read my book but I am too distracted by how cute you are. What's your name?"

This opener combines direct with situational relevance, so it's to-the-point but still grounded.

It's also versatile (useful in a lot of different situations), as we'll see just below.