Building Equity

I'm taking a week off from writing a Tactics Tuesdays post to write another post that is, I suspect, long overdue: a post on social proof. It isn't something we talk much about on here, nor one that I think you want to devote an inordinate amount of your time or attention to.

Yet, it is one that, used properly, can be an absolutely incredibly powerful tool for picking up girls and for changing the minds of the ones you already know.

I'll go into some example below of just what social proof is, how you can use it, and why you don't want to miss using this potent and effective tool, both for lifestyle design and for using in your own pick ups on the fly - whether you've got friends around or not.

Onward...

“How do I get motivated?”

It’s a question you run into at some point when you start tackling something you know you ought to do... but just can’t seem to get yourself to do. And getting better at dating and relationships - while certainly one of, if not the, most rewarding skills to get down - is quite possibly one of the most difficult things to get yourself motivated to work on.

One of the hardest things in this game – and in any endeavor in life, really – is to stay motivated when the going gets tough.

And it will.

In fact, many people argue that the most important part of Napoleon Hill’s book Think and Grow Rich is Chapter 9 – the chapter on persistence.

Because if you think about it – if you just stick with ANYTHING long enough, you’re BOUND to get better at it… and eventually the results will come as a mere side effect of getting better and better at your craft.

But if that’s true, then the question is… why isn’t everybody doing this?

Why aren’t all people more persistent with their goals, if that’s really all it takes?

They are the stuff of legends… the true MASTERS of seduction. They truly knew how to seduce women.

Some of them are fictional characters, like Don Juan de Marco… others are historical figures that really existed, such as the infamous Giacomo Casanova.

Some may be guys we know personally… everybody has at least ONE friend that every girl in school was chasing after (and he probably hooked up with more than half of them too!).

Others may be guys you’ve seen at the club that seem to know everything there is to know about how to attract women… like that guy who was surrounded by beautiful women, all vying for his attention and trying to be the chosen one he would take home that night!

It can be hard not to get jealous…

But no matter whether your goal is to how to seduce women as well as these legendary Lotharios, or whether you just want to master your own dating life well enough to find one special girl… there is a LOT to be learned from a true master.

This is true for any craft, and it’s no different with seduction.

So let’s look at the ingredients that make true masters… and what we can learn from them, in order to reach our own highest potential!

As a boy, I decided I wanted to learn how to be a man who inspired others to gather around him. I wanted to become a magnet for people. I don't know why I wanted this; it's just something I've always had, something deep in my DNA. I have family members who are actors, singers, and entrepreneurs; at least one of my ancestors was a privateer (or, more commonly, a pirate), a few hundred years back.

Even as recently as my great-grandfather, I'm told that my grandmother was first introduced to her future father-in-law when my grandfather brought her to his father's estate in Europe, led her up a large grand staircase, and cast open the doors to his bedroom, revealing an old man reposed in his bed with two young women, one on either arm. I come from a long line of different, eccentric individuals who have had little taste for playing by the rules.

Yet, I still faced an uphill climb as I developed. It might seem that being a man is passé in today's world of tender, sensitive males and assertive, upwardly mobile females. TV and the movies lionize the shy, unconfident man; powerful men routinely get painted the villains, or used as unintelligent plot devices eventually triumphed over by strong women and underdog men. Society tells you it's men's feelings that are most important, and achievement is of secondary importance; so long as you're happy, that's all that really matters.

Because of all this, we now celebrate the ordinary, and frown upon the exceptional. It's as though the exceptional threaten ordinary individuals' contentedness in their own ordinariness, and so must be discouraged from pursuing the exceptionalism that would seem so disruptive to those around them.

Well, if you want to know how to be a man women chase and pursue, you're going to have to accept that you're going to get a lot of push back from people, and you're going to have to confront the beliefs you've been instilled with since a child. You'll have to pull the wool from your eyes, so to speak.

But as you do, you'll find the world comes to look a more and more beautiful place, the more you see it for what it really is. Today, I want to help you pull that wool down and see the world a bit more for what it is, and arm you with a few steps to start taking right now to set yourself on the road to becoming the kind of man you've always dreamed you could be.

And in order to accomplish all this, I'm going to give you a set of maxims to grow by.

I’m sitting back at home in the suburbs of Philadelphia where I grew up, and I’m thinking about how over the years I’ve changed my life to allow myself to meet women more regularly, more easily, and more consistently.

Back when I used to make music, one of the ways that I advanced my skill level over the years was by closely examining the guys who were great successes, then closely examining the guys who were utter failures, then having a look at the guys caught in the middle, and asking myself why each person was where he was. After four years, starting out being atrocious at music, I was putting together incredibly lyrically sharp pieces and constructing music that people would get really excited about when I showed it to them, chiefly because I spent a lot of time deconstructing what made a song a hit, then using the lessons from that to make my own music. When I started focusing on seduction, I turned that same discerning eye (or ear, in the case of music) onto men’s success with women.

I noticed that a number of the most prolific seducers all did things that put them constantly in a position to meet women. They had jobs as lifeguards, or nightclub bouncers, or model talent scouts; other guys did unconventional things like moving abroad and becoming a tour guide or a bartender or an English teacher. Not all guys; some guys just stayed close to where they grew up and simply went out over and over again and did massive amount of approaching, until they got the skill down that they could read women quickly and well and identify the women who would be most open to them.

Conversation and the conversationalist: probably one of the most under-discussed topics in the social arts. What a pity. Conversation is part of the backbone upon which everything related to socializing is built upon, but in the 21st century that’s almost forgotten. You might go so far as to say that the art of the conversationalist is a vanishing art.

In this day and age of sound bites, quick blurbs of news, and friends and acquaintances using social media to spit out short, tepid, meaningless quips about their days and feelings and whatever else springs to mind and gets unloaded out on the uncaring and overburdened ears of the Internet, being a good conversationalist is a rare thing. Being someone who is able to deftly move from topic to topic, keeping a conversation flowing effortlessly and breezily forward, diving into the depths of another individual’s personal life and concerns, then coming back up for air with a bit of laughter and lightheartedness before things get too heavy, then diving back down again to find out more about this person you’ve met just an hour ago than his or her closest family members know… this is what the lost art of being skilled in conversation is all about.

This is to be the first of a new series of articles on building equity. This edition is going to focus on how to build equity in your nightlife.