Articles by Author: Chase Amante

When she says she wants an open relationship, does she mean it? Well, with women, things often have double meanings.

We had a forum thread recently where a member revealed his girlfriend of four years requested an open relationship.

He wasn't sure about it, figuring it might not go his way. But he said yes to it, and some misadventures followed: his gal started getting boinked by other guys, but then our forum member ended up shagging a few girls, then meeting a girl he started to fall for.

The 4-year-girlfriend, previously feeling liberated over her newfound sexual freedom, changed her tune once her beau fell for a woman of his own, and decided she wanted to close the relationship back up again.

Our hero argued with his woman, drama ensued, and ultimately he broke up with her.

I've seen a lot of relationships switch from closed to open over the years, and it is always a drama-filled process, not for the faint of heart (or those who don't like having their hearts torn up and dashed around a bit).

A lot of guys think they can handle it. Some can... for a while.

This article's about what it means when your girlfriend or wife asks for an open relationship.

We'll talk a little bit about whether you ought to give her that, first, too.

With every girl-getting tactic you use, if it works, there's a Click Moment. What is that? It's the moment the tactic causes her mindset to shift. It clicks.

There's a moment with every tactic or strategy you use where if it's going to click, it clicks.

If you have any experience in the field you've seen this: you're doing something with a girl (be it cold reads or playful banter or deep dives or sex talk) and she reacts okay to it for a while.

Not committed to it. Not deeply invested in it. Perhaps marginally interested in it.

Then, at some point, it suddenly clicks.

She is into it. Her mindset has shifted. You can feel that she trusts you to continue leading this approach she now enjoys.

The click moment is the answer to a question plagues guys from beginner to intermediate (and sometimes beyond):

When do you move off using a given pickup tactic and move things to the next step?

For instance, let's say you're teasing a girl. You're teasing her, and teasing her... when do you stop all that teasing and move to a more substantial connection?

Let's say you're in a fun, banter-y text exchange with a girl. When do you kill the banter and tell her to meet up?

Let's say you've started connecting with her and it's going well. When to you halt the connection and move to the next step?

Let's say you're making out with her. When do you stop the make-out and move to full-on escalation?

Most beginners struggle mightily with making these calls. They will spend far too long in one of these stages, trying to 'be sure', and end up inflating the tactic and the pickup crumbles.

The girl breaks out of the spell and the whole thing ends.

Guys who are intermediates tend to do better at moving things along well in earlier stages of the courtship. But then they fall into the same inflation/spell breaking scenario with their later-stage tactics, where they again spend too long on them (to be 'safe').

How do you know when a tactic has worked, and it's time to move on to the next stage?

The easiest way is to look for the Click Moment, and the escalation window that follows it.