Articles by Author: Chase Amante | Girls Chase

Articles by Author: Chase Amante

Tactics Tuesdays: Compliance Swaps

compliance swapsI'll agree, but on these terms… That's the gist of a compliance swap: you agree to what she asks of you, but propose something of your own in return.

Sometimes a woman insists on doing something a certain way and there's no good way out of it for you.

Sometimes you have to travel a far distance to meet her, and it's unrealistic to get her to come to you.

Sometimes she's getting pulled along with a group of people and your only shot with her is to tag along, but in so doing you risk looking like a follower.

How can you maintain a modicum of a leadership role and keep her compliance up even as you invest in things yourself?

With a compliance swap!

This neat little tactic gives you the power back in seemingly powerless situations... and can even make the dice roll your way.

Secrets to Getting Girls: Similarity of Interest

similarity of interestWomen run off when men come on too strong for them. Yet, they lose interest when men come on too weak. You must calibrate to the girl to effectively seduce.

Alek's recent strident indictments of direct game (part 1 | part 2) caused a small uproar on here and generated a flurry of both nodding heads and vociferous disagreements.

The main arguments against Alek's position of "direct game does not work (very well)" seem to be 1.) "well, it works for me", and 2.) what about guys whose methods are primarily direct game, a la Hector Castillo?

I'd like to address both Alek's point that very direct game usually doesn't work as well as more indirect game, plus the fact that sometimes it does work (though not nearly as consistently).

Note that we aren't talking about direct vs. indirect openers here. We're talking about the whole game system a man employs. I'd add that what Alek recommends (as well as what I do), while we tend to call it 'indirect game', is really an indirect-direct fusion that combines elements of both styles, but leans a bit more indirect than direct. I'll spell out more what the difference is between direct and indirect as we go.

In today's article, I'll boil down the answer to those questions above with a simplified framework that anyone can understand. That framework is this:

In a good seduction, what allows you to proceed with the girl is similarity of interest.

The closer your expressed level of interest is to the level of interest she's currently feeling, and the better you pace her interest levels as the seduction progresses, the better able you are to hold her interest and guide the seduction toward a licentious night in bed.

What trips men up on interest levels?

Either showing

  1. too much (i.e., too direct) or
  2. too little (i.e., too indirect)

interest in the girl they're courting.

Girls Who Cling vs. Girls Who Run Away

clingers vs. runnersSome girls are clingy. Others run away from you. What makes a girl a clinger or a runner, and what can you do to alter their behavior?

Sometimes guys will bed a new girl, then no matter their pre-sex frame, or what they did post-sex, or how they set expectations, the girls react in some odd ways anyway.

If you've ever had a girl you just slept with start acting like you're her Prince Charming and the two of you will doubtless soon go elope, or you've had a girl you had an amazing, incredible time with leave the next morning and never text or call you again, you know what I'm talking about.

In seduction, we train to have an "I am responsible for my results" mentality.

This is a necessary mindset to adopt for any improvement-oriented man. It's how you leave the victim mentality people in the dust.

Yet one of the things that can happen is men end up blaming themselves for results that are totally out of their control.

Clingy girls and elusive ones are a couple of the "things you can't really control."

Seduction School: Escalating Despite Objections

escalating past women's objectionsWomen will resist you and object to what you say. Yet you must be able to escalate things with them anyway. Once you can, success with girls gets simpler.

I've been seeing a bit more lately of guys scratching their heads and asking, "How do I do XYZ thing?" and not really getting it.

So I wanted to start an ongoing series (like Tactics Tuesdays and Secrets to Getting Girls) that gives basic advice on how to develop uncommon-but-useful skills and abilities.

Today the focus is on moving things along (escalating) despite women's objections.

If a woman objects to things you say you want her to come do with you, will you still find a way to do them, or will you give up?

Backing off, redirecting, or biding your time can be an okay strategy sometimes. But other times, it's a seduction death knell.

A good seducer knows when to push as well as when to back off and let the woman come to him.

And right now, we'll take a close look at the former.

Strong Men Get Cucked Too

strong men get cucked"Be strong" and no woman can whip or cuckold you, right? Well, the truth is, no matter how strong a man is, if he picks the wrong woman, she still may.

There's this myth in male corners of the Internet that to not end up whipped, walked on, and cuckolded by women you've just got to be 'strong'.

If you can be strong enough, women will respect your strength and not cuck you.

And while strength of frame is one of the most important elements in a man's character (and thus, his ability to retain his women), this alone is not nearly enough.

The unpleasant fact is this: every day, in every part of the world, women are cuckolding strong men.

Many a man, overconfident in his strength, walks into relationships where wily women gain the upper hand over him, whip him (also called 'betaizing' him), or cuckold him.

Hubris, the downfall of many a hero in the old Greek tragedies, causes the fall of these men too.

Yet the fate of these men is avoidable for you.

All it takes is a little humility... a little more self-awareness... and a healthy dose of self-control.

Tactics Tuesdays: Negative Compliance Busters

no bustersAnother technique to break past "no"s when girls give them. And not just break past them… but make it seem like you're the one who gave the "no"!

Otherwise known as 'no busters'.

What do you do when you ask a girl to do something and she gives a firm 'no'?

Well, you can just give up and move on completely. And sometimes that's the right call.

On Pick Up Artist "What Works Better?" Debates

pick up debatesWhat's the best way to pick up girls? Is it tactic A or tactic B? Is Method M superior to Methods S and C? Here's the true exposé on what works best and why.

Wanna know one thing that will definitely never help you do better with girls?

Boasting about how your way to get girls is better than other guys' ways to get girls.

There was an old mASF discussion, back in '04 or '05, where the tired old, "What works better, indirect or direct?" debate got dredged up from the crypt and infused with new life.

I recall reading it in the archives.

Two of the participants were Style (Neil Strauss), the guy who wrote the best seller pick up artist book The Game, and Dimitri (Sebastian Drake), founder of the pick up artist training company theApproach, and a guy who served in a mentor role for me for many years.

Style's point was that you could not ever pick up a girl who was an "8 or better" with direct game. You could only use indirect for this.

Dimitri's point was that he had the most luck picking up girls who were "8s or better" with direct game.

I've never rolled with Style, but I spent a fair bit of time rolling with Dimitri, and I watched him pick up some of the most beautiful women I've witnessed any guy I've rolled with pick up, in the single fastest pickups I've seen guys I've rolled with pull off. A stunning young French stewardess he same-day laid off the beach right after we'd swum the Mediterranean (turned out we'd accidentally switched hotel keys, so he shagged her in my room and used my condoms. I had to call the cleaning service after, my room was so destroyed...). A pair of beautiful, flashy, and shapely Japanese girls we picked up off the street outside an L.A. club. Many others. All with direct openers.

I was a pure indirect guy at the beginning (more because I lacked the balls to go direct then, than that I didn't know how to do it). Dimitri urged me to try direct, so I did. And I found it worked very well for me.

I also found it worked better in some situations than in others. Some of the most beautiful, incredible girls I've been with I picked up I picked up with direct. Others of them I picked up with indirect.

I say all this to preface this post, which is not about direct vs. indirect, but instead something else: getting into stupid debates where you tell other guys that stuff they do that is working for them DOESN'T work is stupid.

Tactics Tuesdays: Stop Her Talking Herself Out of It

talking herself out of itAsk a girl to do something, and she'll think about it. Sometimes she decides for you; sometimes not. Yet if she's about to decide "not", you MAY be able to intercept that…

In sales, you learn early on to make a proposal, then shut up and let the prospect decide.

"Whoever talks first loses," is the way my old boss and sales trainer taught me.

Well... talks first once you've proposed something and the prospect's deliberating, that is.

However, there's one exception to this rule, and that exception is this: when you can tell the prospect is talking himself out of it.

This is a bit of a nuanced thing to catch.

Therefore, this article is really only intended for intermediate and up students of the game. It'll be most useful for men who are already at least somewhat advanced with women, and will be able to attune to the signals we'll talk about here a lot more easily.

If you're a beginner, you can ignore this article for now and hew to "whoever talks first loses (after you've made a proposal)", and it'll server you well the majority of the time.

But if you're farther along than 'beginner', it's time to take a more nuanced view.

Are Modern Women's Dating Standards TOO High?

women's dating standardsMany men today believe women's standards are too high. The reality is, women's standards have ALWAYS been high… or at least, women have always claimed this.

Again and again of late I've seen this argument that women's dating standards are simply too high.

That women expect too much of men, they want men who are perfect, and their standards are completely unrealistic.

Most recently, a reader commented this on my article about the source of 21st Century Western men's distinct lack of action and motivation, saying:

I dont think men dont have the drive to have sex; its just that womens standards are too high and most men dont make the cut. Most men are trying and failing to get laid, others have given up, and a small percentage is getting almost everything. We have to be realistic and acknowledge that most men are going to be average no matter what. The problem is that women have too many options and society allows them to go for the top men.

This is a common refrain from a lot of men's sites on the web.

women's dating standards“How's any guy supposed to have a shot in this day and age?”

But is it true?

Are you, indeed, condemned to suffer loneliness and deprivation, sucking up the scraps of women who fell off the tables of ALPHA MALES, those rare few men who get all the girls?

Is this simply your lot in life, assuming you're unable or unwilling to join the ranks of those few elite men?

Sex Drive Compatibility, Drive Collapses, & Relationship Sex Issues

sex drive compatibilityYou want to date someone long-term. But is she sexually compatible? Most people don't check… yet this is perhaps the #1 most important compatibility of all.

I spoke recently with an experienced seducer who was having some issues with a girlfriend of his. The relationship had begun normally, with the girl having a normal sex drive, but then at one point it changed.

After the change, his woman almost never wanted normal sex with him. This was well-traveled girl who'd experimented sexually with all kinds of men and had a history of stopping having sex with prior boyfriends of hers.

The seducer would notice flashes of desire come across his woman in inconvenient and novel situations (like say a crowded dinner with friends in the heart of downtown). She'd suddenly want some spontaneous, inconvenient sex.

He'd instead try to get her somewhere private. But a 20-minute drive to privacy later and her sex drive would be gone, never to wake up again that night, no matter what he did.

This was a guy who's been with many women and never had a problem turning most of his prior girlfriends on before. But with this girl he was in a sexual desert.

There's a problem with incompatible sex drives that most guys do not realize until they find themselves in a sex drive incompatibility scenario.

Often even when they're IN that scenario, they refuse to see it.

They tell themselves they can fix it.

That they must be doing something wrong themselves.

The fact is we tend to assume that others' sexual reactions to us are a result of us.

When in actuality a whole lot of the way someone reacts is in large part directed by that person's underlying sex drive.

And sex drives are a thing you really cannot change.

You can't train them. You can't 'wake them up' long-term (yes, there is sexual awakening. But it tends to be fleeting; the sex drive spike it brings last maybe 5-10 years).

You can only enjoy drives if they're compatible... or gnash your teeth endlessly if they're not.