Confidence | Girls Chase


How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

Keeping Those Energy Levels Up: Working Hard + an Active Social Life

Chase Amante's picture
energy levelsFinding the energy to work AND maintain an active social life is hard. Here are my best strategies to keep those energy levels up… and avoid the slumps.

A reader writes in, asking about keeping up energy levels:

Hi Chase,

Re your Mental Models (I know how analytical and pragmatic you are)

So I was wondering how you have mastered your ENERGY levels, which I think will make a good article for your readers.

How do you get more / manage your ENERGY (mental and physical) to run your businesses and have a life too.

I am not asking about time management but more about ENERGY. For example I work 5-6 days a week (full time) I start at 6am and get home around 3pm (as a electrical third year apprentice).

During the free week nights I have, I always plan to get this and that done on my To Do list. But often I struggle even get one or two done as I just feel like I don't have much energy both physical and mental (to think clearly enough). I do of course get the dishes done, cook dinner etc. like living things done (mindless).

I do know I only sleep about 6 hours a night or a bit less (which I am working on). Any other tips and techniques you do from your experience? Maybe I should have a meal after I finish work for more energy before dinner? And no to cold showers! A hot shower to me a night is my wind down, relaxing time.

I am the type that like to get into the zone to get something done (but it is not always possible due to lack of time or mainly lack of energy) hence why I haven't really done much on my art /creative endeavours. I am 32 years old.
Please share some of your tips or link me the article if you think it makes a good one!


Well, there are probably 20 million articles about productivity, energy levels, and so on on the web, and I am not 100% sure the Internet needs another one.

HOWEVER! I have definitely spent plenty of time editing and rearranging my life to enable me to do all the things I want to do, including work 9-10 hour days then still socialize after.

I will give a caveat that while some of the stuff I do comes from productivity experts, some of the other things I do probably run counter to typical productivity and energy advice. Unlike dating, this is not something I coach other guys on, or participate in communities on, or anything – so I have no idea how much of it is applicable to others vs. how much is unique to me.

Nevertheless, I have a system I have built over the years that works pretty well for me at keeping the sluggish periods to a minimum and the active, productive, energetic ones to a maximum. I’ll share what I’ve found and what works for me here.

Before we talk solutions though, first we need to talk about the major hurdles to this kind of “energy at your fingertips, to employ however you want” condition.

The Dap Trap: When Girls Press & Guys "Dawdle, About-Face, Pursue"

Chase Amante's picture
dawedle, about-face, pursueA girl wants to date or maybe for you to commit. But you dawdle and don’t make it happen. So she gives up – but then, you give chase! Why? The Dap Trap!

There’s a flip-floppy male behavior you’ll see in dating that is so predictable it borders on the comical: something I’ve dubbed ‘dap’, for “dawdle, about-face, pursue.”

The Magnetic Man, Pt. 4: Social Response Ability

Daniel Adebayo's picture
magnetism social response abilityYour response to social situations decides how well you do in them. How do you train up this ‘response ability’ though – and become more magnetic in the process?

A popular quote goes,

With great power comes great responsibility.

It’s pertinent to today’s article because we are continuing our discussion on response ability, extending beyond conceptual skill into the broader and tantalizing topic of socializing.

As you may have noticed, your response ability extends to every realm of personal magnetism.

We will break down and cross-examine social response ability to better understand how to harmonize magnetism with the different cold approach battlefields so you come out on top in your social circle pickups and make your extended seductions run smoothly.

The “great power” you will gain from reading Girls Chase today is social response ability, and this power is best used responsibly. I hope that pun is a reminder of the quote above.

Depersonalizing Dating, Pickup, & Seduction

Chase Amante's picture
seduction depersonalizationFor the average man, dating is fraught with emotion. Rejection stings, and success elates. Yet what of the veteran dater? For him, it’s far more depersonalized.

One of the great differences between an experienced seducer and an ordinary man is what we might call the “depersonalization” of seduction.

For Joe Average, each encounter with an attractive woman is a deeply personal affair. He experiences a range of powerful positive and negative emotions whenever a woman he desires (and often even one he doesn’t) seems to approve of or reject him.

Happy interactions with women sending him over the moon, beaming with hope, pride, and victory; rejections, on the other hand, crumple him, turning him sour, beaten, resentful.

Yet for the experienced seducer, women’s reactions to him are not personal. The experience he creates for women feels more personal for the women than what they experience with Joe Average, by far… Nevertheless for the seducer himself, the seduction is merely a process he’s run many times before. The outcome of any individual interaction carries little emotional weight for him – often none at all.

It’s not that his emotions have “vanished”; rather, it is that they have moved… Instead of being affected by the slings and arrows of courtship that elevate or sink more ordinary men, the seducer’s emotions are focused somewhere else. The seduction process itself for him has become depersonalized.

This depersonalization offers enormous benefits to the experienced seducer… not the least of which are far higher success rates with women (due to him being able to act unclouded by emotion), plus far lower rates of the heartache, bitterness, and disappointment ordinary men so often experience in their dealings with women.

Depersonalizing seduction is thus a very worthwhile aim for novice and intermediate seducers. But can you do that, any way other than just putting in enough approaches to get there?

Choose Your Romantic Strategy: Alpha, Friend, or Outsider

Chase Amante's picture
romantic strategiesFriend, high status male, or outsider: every man must choose one of three romantic strategies to follow. The choice he makes determines the game he runs and the girls he gets.

As I read the fascinating book The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller, I continue to have nice highlights and wonderful little insights.

(previous installment: “Males of Every Species Must Learn Game to Mate”)

My latest highlight comes from this passage by Miller, discussing scientific research into primate (including human) mate selection preferences:

Three kinds of female preference have been reported in primates: preferences for high-ranking males capable of protecting females and offspring from other males; preferences for male “friends” that have groomed the female a lot and have been kind to her offspring; and preferences for new males from outside the group, perhaps to avoid genetic inbreeding.

And it’s a good insight and lets us split up the three different types of men women go for and the different ways they get together with those men. We have of course:

  • High status “alpha male” type partners

  • Kindly “friend zone” type partners

  • Outsider “sigma male” type partners

Anyone advising any man on dating will have his preferences about which of these romantic strategies he recommends as the ideal path to follow… but it will always be one of these three.

Today I’d like to have a balanced look at the differences between these three kinds of men a woman will date.

The Magnetic Man, Pt. 1: Fundamental Exercises

Daniel Adebayo's picture
magnetic manStep 1 in becoming more personally magnetic is to gain more awareness and control over your body. Your body is how you communicate with the world… so you must gain wisdom of it.

Every man can increase his magnetism.

It’s an obvious quality that is hard to define. We see it in actors, dancers, models, martial artists, spiritual gurus, world leaders, modern celebrities, and old-fashioned sex symbols who dominate the screen and stage. But we also see computer programmers, university students, and those in business who are magnetic men. Personal magnetism is a quality that easily transcends career, culture, and even race.

Most men aren’t magnetic, though. Most men are just some guy.

They are faceless and uninteresting to the girls they meet. And when girls find it hard to remember you, reaching the hook point or arousing them feels like pushing a boulder up a steep mountain.

If you’re reading this article, chances are you’re tired of women seeing you as just some guy.

You want to be magnetic and easily attract women, like a moth drawn to a flame. And if you are already magnetic, most likely, part of you still feels curious about this powerful quality.

You might ask yourself, “Can I increase my magnetism?” The answer is a resounding yes.

Whether a new student of the game or a seasoned veteran of seduction, there is always an opportunity to become a more magnetic man. And it starts with a simple skill called body wisdom.

Seduction's Luck Surface Area

Chase Amante's picture
seduction luck surface areaYour luck surface area is the amount you expose of yourself for “lucky events” to happen. Men who open themselves up to more seductive luck enjoy more seductive “lucky breaks.”

Luck plays a role in everything. In seduction, your passive attractiveness (fundamentals) and skill with women and the mating process (game) have a huge impact on your success.

Nevertheless, there is still always going to be luck involved: you have to stumble into a girl you like, she has to be at least somewhat open to having something happening with you, she must be logistically available to have something happen, and you need to avoid any seduction-killing wild cards (and if you’re fortunate, luck into some seduction-enhancing ones).

There are all manner of things that impact your “ability to be lucky”:

  • Perhaps your favorite venue just shut down for repairs (luck = lowered)

  • Perhaps a friend texts to invite you to a wild, girl-filled after party (luck = raised)

  • Perhaps your wingman’s out of town and you’re not good at solo (luck = lowered)

  • Perhaps you get off at the wrong metro station and discover this one crawls with good-looking women (luck = raised)

But you don’t really have control over random events like this… right?

As a matter of fact, there’s a neat concept known as “luck surface area” that you may or may not have heard of.

This concept is simple: one can increase one’s luck by increasing the ‘surface area’ one exposes for fortunate events to occur.

If that sounds abstract, worry not, for we’re going to make it a lot more concrete.

Deconstruction in Cinema: A Corrosive Poison Drip into Men's Heads

Chase Amante's picture
TEXTMore and more blockbusters feature “deconstruction” of established strong characters. This isn’t a good thing – it is harmful for viewers uncritically absorbing this nonsense.

I’ve recently found myself watching fewer and fewer recent movies.

We discussed it on the forum a while back. I mentioned in that thread that:

The way I think of it is most modern movies are being made for someone other than me.

I don't know exactly whom their target audience is, but it's definitely not a guy like me.

Many modern film themes are increasingly puerile. Their cultural revolutionary elements are stifling, jammed into every other scene and made as blatant and jarring as possible, seemingly deliberately aimed at breaking immersion.

On top of that, they all just feel hollow.

When I watch most modern movies, I come out of it feeling like I’ve spent two hours in a brainwashing chamber, and the only way to get un-brainwashed is to watch an old movie. Then a few days later I watch an old movie and it’s a breath of fresh air… the world makes sense again, all is as it should be, and everything returns to normal.

It isn’t every single modern movie that has this “brainwashed” effect I’ve found – it’s just a lot of them.

What, then, is the difference, between modern “brainwash” movies and non-brainwash modern movies plus older cinema?

Recently I began to really dig into the thematic differences between modern vs. older cinema, and it’s become increasingly clear what modern films are doing that, in my view, is just straight up poisonous to the healthy male’s psychology.

I’ve talked to you before about how the media influences thoughts and feelings. I’ve advised you to turn off the screens and limit the amount of time you spend on them.

Today I want to show you just what is going on beneath the surface in some of these “harmless” popcorn movies you are absorbing into your skull.

To Get Girls, You Have to Really Like Them

Chase Amante's picture
woman riding on man's backMen who don’t do well with women think worse of women. And men who think worse of women do worse with women. How do you escape this cycle and get results? By learning to really LIKE women.

Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of guys struggling with bitterness and alienation toward women trying to cold approach, only to fail.

This failure confirms and deepens their bitterness and alienation toward women. It’s sad.

As a Man, You've Got to Know What You're About

Chase Amante's picture
man looking at own reflection in glassPeople will judge you by generic metrics unless you show them what you’re about. A man who knows that about himself becomes attractive, respected, and admired.

On one of my articles, long-time reader Sub-Zero asked once more about his age-old preoccupation with old age, talking about his being a late bloomer and saying:

What would you say is a good reason a man can tell women why he is single, childless, and unmarried as an older man? I believe you said it wasn’t a good look before and I hear it all the time it looks weird, I heard women really dislike it too and say it’s a red flag. But if you’re not really interested in it or have the funds, I think it’s wise to not have those things just for society’s approval, especially if you can’t afford it. Is there anything you can say at all to make it not look bad?

SZ has been asking questions about variations of this topic for almost seven years now. Many things change in life, but if there's one guy you can count on to be consistent, it is Sub-Zero. If there is still a Girls Chase 20 years from now, I reckon you will still find Sub-Zero here, asking questions about growing older and being a late bloomer.

What I want to address here is this idea of "How do you explain yourself if you're outside the norm?"

Because that is a skill almost every man really should have... and it comes down to not "what things do you have", not even "what deeds have you accomplished", but instead rather "what are you all about."