Confidence | Girls Chase


How confidence affects results with women, and how to get your confidence, boldness, and "inner game" tightened up and running smoothly.

Choose Your Romantic Strategy: Alpha, Friend, or Outsider

Chase Amante's picture
romantic strategiesFriend, high status male, or outsider: every man must choose one of three romantic strategies to follow. The choice he makes determines the game he runs and the girls he gets.

As I read the fascinating book The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller, I continue to have nice highlights and wonderful little insights.

(previous installment: “Males of Every Species Must Learn Game to Mate”)

My latest highlight comes from this passage by Miller, discussing scientific research into primate (including human) mate selection preferences:

Three kinds of female preference have been reported in primates: preferences for high-ranking males capable of protecting females and offspring from other males; preferences for male “friends” that have groomed the female a lot and have been kind to her offspring; and preferences for new males from outside the group, perhaps to avoid genetic inbreeding.

And it’s a good insight and lets us split up the three different types of men women go for and the different ways they get together with those men. We have of course:

  • High status “alpha male” type partners

  • Kindly “friend zone” type partners

  • Outsider “sigma male” type partners

Anyone advising any man on dating will have his preferences about which of these romantic strategies he recommends as the ideal path to follow… but it will always be one of these three.

Today I’d like to have a balanced look at the differences between these three kinds of men a woman will date.

The Magnetic Man, Pt. 1: Fundamental Exercises

Daniel Adebayo's picture
magnetic manStep 1 in becoming more personally magnetic is to gain more awareness and control over your body. Your body is how you communicate with the world… so you must gain wisdom of it.

Every man can increase his magnetism.

It’s an obvious quality that is hard to define. We see it in actors, dancers, models, martial artists, spiritual gurus, world leaders, modern celebrities, and old-fashioned sex symbols who dominate the screen and stage. But we also see computer programmers, university students, and those in business who are magnetic men. Personal magnetism is a quality that easily transcends career, culture, and even race.

Most men aren’t magnetic, though. Most men are just some guy.

They are faceless and uninteresting to the girls they meet. And when girls find it hard to remember you, reaching the hook point or arousing them feels like pushing a boulder up a steep mountain.

If you’re reading this article, chances are you’re tired of women seeing you as just some guy.

You want to be magnetic and easily attract women, like a moth drawn to a flame. And if you are already magnetic, most likely, part of you still feels curious about this powerful quality.

You might ask yourself, “Can I increase my magnetism?” The answer is a resounding yes.

Whether a new student of the game or a seasoned veteran of seduction, there is always an opportunity to become a more magnetic man. And it starts with a simple skill called body wisdom.

Seduction's Luck Surface Area

Chase Amante's picture
seduction luck surface areaYour luck surface area is the amount you expose of yourself for “lucky events” to happen. Men who open themselves up to more seductive luck enjoy more seductive “lucky breaks.”

Luck plays a role in everything. In seduction, your passive attractiveness (fundamentals) and skill with women and the mating process (game) have a huge impact on your success.

Nevertheless, there is still always going to be luck involved: you have to stumble into a girl you like, she has to be at least somewhat open to having something happening with you, she must be logistically available to have something happen, and you need to avoid any seduction-killing wild cards (and if you’re fortunate, luck into some seduction-enhancing ones).

There are all manner of things that impact your “ability to be lucky”:

  • Perhaps your favorite venue just shut down for repairs (luck = lowered)

  • Perhaps a friend texts to invite you to a wild, girl-filled after party (luck = raised)

  • Perhaps your wingman’s out of town and you’re not good at solo (luck = lowered)

  • Perhaps you get off at the wrong metro station and discover this one crawls with good-looking women (luck = raised)

But you don’t really have control over random events like this… right?

As a matter of fact, there’s a neat concept known as “luck surface area” that you may or may not have heard of.

This concept is simple: one can increase one’s luck by increasing the ‘surface area’ one exposes for fortunate events to occur.

If that sounds abstract, worry not, for we’re going to make it a lot more concrete.

Deconstruction in Cinema: A Corrosive Poison Drip into Men's Heads

Chase Amante's picture
TEXTMore and more blockbusters feature “deconstruction” of established strong characters. This isn’t a good thing – it is harmful for viewers uncritically absorbing this nonsense.

I’ve recently found myself watching fewer and fewer recent movies.

We discussed it on the forum a while back. I mentioned in that thread that:

The way I think of it is most modern movies are being made for someone other than me.

I don't know exactly whom their target audience is, but it's definitely not a guy like me.

Many modern film themes are increasingly puerile. Their cultural revolutionary elements are stifling, jammed into every other scene and made as blatant and jarring as possible, seemingly deliberately aimed at breaking immersion.

On top of that, they all just feel hollow.

When I watch most modern movies, I come out of it feeling like I’ve spent two hours in a brainwashing chamber, and the only way to get un-brainwashed is to watch an old movie. Then a few days later I watch an old movie and it’s a breath of fresh air… the world makes sense again, all is as it should be, and everything returns to normal.

It isn’t every single modern movie that has this “brainwashed” effect I’ve found – it’s just a lot of them.

What, then, is the difference, between modern “brainwash” movies and non-brainwash modern movies plus older cinema?

Recently I began to really dig into the thematic differences between modern vs. older cinema, and it’s become increasingly clear what modern films are doing that, in my view, is just straight up poisonous to the healthy male’s psychology.

I’ve talked to you before about how the media influences thoughts and feelings. I’ve advised you to turn off the screens and limit the amount of time you spend on them.

Today I want to show you just what is going on beneath the surface in some of these “harmless” popcorn movies you are absorbing into your skull.

To Get Girls, You Have to Really Like Them

Chase Amante's picture
woman riding on man's backMen who don’t do well with women think worse of women. And men who think worse of women do worse with women. How do you escape this cycle and get results? By learning to really LIKE women.

Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of guys struggling with bitterness and alienation toward women trying to cold approach, only to fail.

This failure confirms and deepens their bitterness and alienation toward women. It’s sad.

As a Man, You've Got to Know What You're About

Chase Amante's picture
man looking at own reflection in glassPeople will judge you by generic metrics unless you show them what you’re about. A man who knows that about himself becomes attractive, respected, and admired.

On one of my articles, long-time reader Sub-Zero asked once more about his age-old preoccupation with old age, talking about his being a late bloomer and saying:

What would you say is a good reason a man can tell women why he is single, childless, and unmarried as an older man? I believe you said it wasn’t a good look before and I hear it all the time it looks weird, I heard women really dislike it too and say it’s a red flag. But if you’re not really interested in it or have the funds, I think it’s wise to not have those things just for society’s approval, especially if you can’t afford it. Is there anything you can say at all to make it not look bad?

SZ has been asking questions about variations of this topic for almost seven years now. Many things change in life, but if there's one guy you can count on to be consistent, it is Sub-Zero. If there is still a Girls Chase 20 years from now, I reckon you will still find Sub-Zero here, asking questions about growing older and being a late bloomer.

What I want to address here is this idea of "How do you explain yourself if you're outside the norm?"

Because that is a skill almost every man really should have... and it comes down to not "what things do you have", not even "what deeds have you accomplished", but instead rather "what are you all about."

Status vs. Comfort vs. Genes

Chase Amante's picture
status vs. comfort vs. genesThere are three types of men: those who want status, those who want comfort, and those who want genes. Which type of woman you prefer depends on which type of man you are.

There are three (3) kinds of people in the world when it comes to mate selection:

  1. Those who seek status: i.e., the flashiest, most popular mates

  1. Those who seek comfort: i.e., the coziest, most companionable mates

  1. Those who seek genes: i.e., the most genetically gifted, naturally elite mates

My experience in a decade-and-a-half instructing men in this space is that these preferences appear to be hardwired, whether by genetics or early life experiences. I've never known an individual to switch underlying mate selection paradigms.

The kinds of mates each type of individual is seeking and the most optimal ways to encounter them differs according to the mating paradigm. This introduces some subtle (and some not-so-subtle) differences in what styles of game each type prefers, and each type's opinions on which sorts of mates are the high watermark.

Clashes between the styles occur when a member of one or the other type insists his preferences are the best, and anyone who disagrees must be fooling himself.

Today though, we'll clear away the bullshit and look at things straight.

Legendary Charisma Is All in Where You Put Your FOCUS

Chase Amante's picture
legendary charismaCharisma is a set of outward signals and behaviors, but it begins in the mind. The wrong mental focus makes you uncharismatic. Yet use the right one, and you magnetize.

We've got two (2) days remaining in the Charisma In A Bottle relaunch.

This is probably the last thing I'll write about charisma for a while, since I'm just about all charisma'd out.

However, before we put a bow on the relaunch, I want to cover this one last key tidbit about charisma:

How huge an element focus is to a man's ability to be charismatic, and just what is entailed in getting your focus dialed in just right.

Charisma Breakdown: Robert Downey, Jr.

Chase Amante's picture
Robert Downey, Jr. charismaWhat’s the secret to Robert Downey, Jr.’s exuberant charisma? He’s a perceptive guy who reacts fast to whatever situation he’s in, and it all adds up to magnetism.

All right! We're partway into the Charisma In A Bottle relaunch.

I hope you've picked up your copy already if you didn't grab it a year ago, and are thoroughly enjoying the material.

If you've not grabbed it yet, keep in mind there are just a few short days left before the Touch-A-Girl System bonus goes away, and you'll never see Charisma + Lifestyle + Touch for the same one price again.

Pick up your copy of Charisma In A Bottle with all the bonuses (+ Touch) right here.

Today I wanted to continue the 'Charisma Breakdown' series, and I wanted to use a modern actor everyone's quite familiar with. We're taking a break from super sexy charisma (as we had with Errol Flynn, Sean Connery, and Russell Brand) and moving back into super cool charisma (like we had with our first charisma breakdown of John Wayne).

In this installment, we'll be looking at Robert Downey, Jr.

There are already a lot of charisma analysis videos online centered on Downey. They've done a great job mining clips and have provided some nice high-level analysis.

What we'll do in this article will be to take some of the clips other YouTube channels have already put together, and drilling down past the surface-level aspects of charisma on display to really get into the nuts and bolts of what makes Downey's charisma work.

Charisma Breakdown: Sean Connery

Chase Amante's picture
sean connery charismaWhat made Sean Connery’s James Bond so compelling? Connery’s relaxed, provocative, self-amused style gave his characters a charismatic air unlike any other actor’s.

I've always liked Sean Connery.

The way he carries himself and interacts with women has always impressed.

It's no coincidence that Connery (as we've covered on Girls Chase before) even into his 80s still had admiring female fans in their teens, twenties, and thirties talking about how sexy they found him. You can go click on that link and read a few screenshots I took of it if you want evidence.

What made Connery so sexy? He had good looks, and he had his leading man roles, and the wealth, fame, and status that came with those. But there are plenty of men like that in Hollywood -- more classically good-looking, with bigger roles, more wealth, fame, and status -- who don't command close to the kind irresistible charm Connery did.

That special something Connery had that set him a head above his peers was charisma -- in particular, charisma embodying the Father archetype from our four Charismatic Archetypes, covered far more in-depth in my upcoming course, Charisma in a Bottle.

If you're just tuning in, here are our prior three entries in the Charismatic Breakdown series:

  1. John Wayne: King Archetype charisma
  2. Russell Brand: Savior Archetype charisma
  3. Errol Flynn: Hero Arcehtype charisma

Now let's have a look at just how Sean Connery did it.