How to Talk to Girls and Make Them Want You | Girls Chase

How to Talk to Girls and Make Them Want You

how to talk to girlsA few days ago, a very perceptive reader wrote in to share with me an insight he'd had after reading over the blog here again and reading the appendices at the end of my seduction ebook. It was, he said, a profound realization about how to talk to girls that he'd seen me using and others using, and it was something that, when he told me about it, I immediately realized was something I'd once known consciously but had long slipped into the forgotten parts of my memory that were accessed only intuitively and subconsciously in conversation, without ever realizing it.

That reader called it "taking off the mask." Here's the relevant part of his email:

Over the past few weeks I've been noticing something about your posts and really every other seducer/PUA. I've noticed that the ones that really know how to handle women all demonstrate one quality.

They see through the BS!

I've been reading through some of your posts and the Girls Chase appendices and when you talk to women you go straight to her "real" self. The "real" self the girl in her that's still romantic, the girl who wants all her sexual fantasies to come true. You don't ever allow women to put on that mask around you, you make sure she can let her hair down and just be herself.

In a flash, I remembered it being 2006, and me for the first time approaching hordes and hordes of women. It was such a confusing time; women would say things -- crazy things, unexpected things -- and I didn't know how to react.

What do you say when a girl tells you she has a boyfriend?

What do you do when she's acting flighty and disinterested?

How do you keep her engaged in a loud nightclub filled with distractions, or on a busy street when there's somewhere she very much has to be?

I remembered how confusing talking to women used to be. And I realized that the way I go about talking to women and interacting with them these days isn't just better -- it's different. It's categorically, unequivocally, incontrovertibly different from how I used to talk to women.

I'm coming from a different place, and my thoughts are on much different matters. And if I can help get you there -- or at least illuminate the path -- I think I can rapidly speed up the process you learn by.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase-

Been an avid reader of the site for a few weeks now and have been practicing your techniques with pretty good success. I met a great girl who I took to bed fairly quickly, but then various circumstances led to us not seeing each other anymore. One major factor was, I believe, hard to admit as this being a guy, lack of performance on my part in the bedroom. I think the main cause was stress/nervousness. You talk about why it is good to become a great lover in bed but don't really talk about how and what specific techniques can help. Please write a post on this soon!

Greg Barbosa's picture

1 word...cunninglingus.

J's picture

Hey Chase-
Much of your strategy involved with keeping women in a lovers and not boyfriends role after bringing them to bed seems to involve providing them with mind-blowing sex while not paying for things, making any promises etc. Obviously if you give a woman a night she will never forget in the bedroom that will be a very large factor in determining if she wants to see you again or not. So would you please give some more techniques/details that explain how to go about doing that? IE positions, strategies, etc.


Hahemeh's picture

This is Genious Pychology.

An honest reader's picture


I really appreciate this article, I'm usually able to get girls fairly easily, but I'm getting those girls simply based off my looks, I've figured this out after 27 years. I find that after the one night stand or during a dinner date I run out of interesting things to talk about, your example about the weather is dead on, I've actually had that conversation with girls before, guy's please don't do it. I've had my share of attractive ladies, but I recently visited a girl who I truly care about in Miami over this past weekend, we had been out for drinks on a few different occassions, and always seemed to have a connection, the problem was she's had a boyfriend up until recently, I've known her since 2009. The weekend went great from a sexual standpoint, but we didn't connect emotionally like I had hoped, and I believe it was because I didn't have a whole lot to talk about, I wasn't able to keep the conversation moving forward as you explained, I wasn't a conversationlist, I wasn't able to unmask her, and because of that I believe I got in her "friend zone", a place no guy wants to be. When it all boils down to it we only get one shot, one opportunity to make them fall for us, and if we fail, it's unlikely we'll get another chance. Chase I really appreciate what you guys are doing, girls are complicated, that's a cliche remark but they are, most guys simply don't understand them and that's usually where the probelm lies. In my case, I didn't know how to keep a conversation going, I got too emotionally attached, and I rushed things, and it might have cost me the girl of my dreams. What sucks is I've been waiting 3 years to get an opportunity with this girl, I knew she would break it off with her boyfriend eventually, I just can't believe I fucked it up.

Anonymous's picture

Im in the same boat as this guy.... Except i never thought i was good looking but girls tell me all the time and i have that look like who paved you. Finally moving on i can get numbers religiously now but my conversation is lacking great now that i can start working on this step thank you so much.

Anonymous's picture

It's astonishing to me, I haave this one girl I have loved for about 6 years. This week I tried contacting her again after a year or more of NC....believe me, I spent a ton of energy over the years planning on trying to win her back, at any means.... but now that I have gotten to speak with her, I don't have the skills to win her back. My finding this site is due to the mistakes I am seeing in my relationships/personality. I am a pretty good looking guy,but my personality and conversational skills SUCK at times. ..... this site, and all the ideas/suggestions are kind of making me believe that really we need to actually become hard working, smart, happy, guys to get girls to do things with us. So, really, there is no shortcut to getting girls, it comes down to personality and relationship development

J's picture

Your blog has helped me so immensley I cannot even begin to tell you how thankful I am. I personally was one of those guys who got so worked up and nervous about what the fuck to talk about and now I'm spittin game like it's my job and it's wonderful. Also the article on texting girs was helpful as well. I find that applying the techniques outlined in the How to Talk to Girls articles and such to texting as well can help a bit. Being in highschool and not having much experience yet at all I am so lucky to have found this website. I stumbled upon it when I was getting extremely emotional and depressed about this girl who I liked and wanted to date and now things are going exceedingly well! I'm being more aggressive, taking charge of things, at most I send a few texts a week and all I do is set up a date and time and then talk to her in person at school and it works great! So once again thank you so much for all the help you've given all men who are floundering or just needed that extra push forward.


P.S. Could you do an article on how much looks matter to girls in the long run?

Jack Hughs's picture

Hey Chase,

Great article. But, I have a problem that I hope you can advise me on. I tried to "move" a girl (that I knew from before) at a social function by asking her to sit at the same table as me. I forget what she said, but she did not sit at my table. She kept her bag there but moved to another table for the whole night. Then, at the end of the night, she came back and started speaking with me and the others that were in a small circle. She did this at a few subsequent events too. She would not sit at the same table as me. And, she wouldn't approach me during the event, nor would she let me approach her. She would keep herself at other circles of people throughout the night. But, she would come over to me and say "good night, see you next time" very prominently and nicely. (By the way, she is a very pretty girl and every time I worked up the courage to speak to her, another guy would just walk over and start a conversation with her. In these instances, she would speak with the other guy but keep looking at me to keep me involved in the conversation.) She's also a little bit of a social butterfly. How am I to understand all this? Is she interested, or just being polite to me?

sn's picture

Just like u said it, she's a social butterfly. I like to give a little to get a lot back.
Give her some attention then take it away. Show her you can be a social too.
And of course last but not least, talk to other girls. Don't rely on only her.

Anonymous's picture

I have found very useful information in this blog, but I still have a few questions/concerns:

1. It sounds more like a guide on how to get a girl to go to bed with you. I was hoping this page would cover info on how to make a relationship with a girl rather than how to have sex with her (I guess I'll have to figure that out by myself with the strategy you provided us with).

2.What if you get to know the real her and you decide that you don't like her? What do you do then? Leave her? I guess... But how do you do it without being a dick?

Overall, it's really helpful.


Hugo's picture

For some reason, I read about women and I have less and less respect for them. What shall I do? I don't want a girlfriend that was shared by many men before me. I would rather be single than spend time with someone who got ruined by many mediocre men before she met me. On the other hand I am really attracted to the physical beauty.

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