Building Equity | Girls Chase

Building Equity

The Value of Putting Your Thoughts and Goals on Paper

write down your goals
If you don’t chronicle your goals and achievements, kick yourself in the ass and start now. Here’s how it will impact your motivation, success, and fulfillment in life.

Will setting goals speed up or improve your game? Of course – but it’s one of those things you should absolutely do... but probably won’t.

When I first started my pickup journey, I didn’t want to improve my communication skills or achieve social freedom. I wanted to bang college babes. A lot of them. That was my only goal.

Looking back, I could have greatly decreased the time it took to learn the fundamentals if I’d had a proper training regimen, with specific goals.

Rather than goals, I had the desire, which is powerful but somewhat unfocused and inefficient. For some reason, having goals felt like stripping the journey of all its mystery and romance. Sort of like the tortured artist who thinks marketing is selling out.

I didn’t see these sexual desires as goals. My drive to succeed with women was purely instinctual. Just like you need water, I need hot girls. I would never be happy dating mediocre women. It was learn pickup – or become a monk.

But I got over my aversion to writing down goals, and I’m glad I did. Today, I’d be kicking myself if I didn’t. Now I have a dozen journals chronicling years of field research – lists of goals and desired achievements.

14 Ways Social Control Is Used on You

Social Control
For civilization to thrive, is social control a necessity? Perhaps, but we must be mindful of people and groups who seek to manipulate us to our detriment.

Social control. It sounds very 1984-ish, doesn’t it?

It is, in some ways. In others, it’s natural and understandable.

It's something that is always pulling at you – the social equivalent of gravity. Even from long distances, it has an effect.

And it comes from everyone.

When we think of “social control,” we get the idea that there’s some monolithic, maleficent force specifically targeting us and trying to get us to bend.

It is not so simple.

Yes, there are diverse and powerful organizations which are trying to control you. It could be a news station, a top-followed Instagram account, a religious body, or a government.

Those organizations include individuals, all of whom have personal agendas, both hidden and open.

Those people may all pledge allegiance to a common goal, but even then, the purity of their commitment to the group and their interpretation of that group’s goal may differ, person to person.

If a group of people aligns tightly with a singular goal, or at least the messages they deliver (e.g., a news station’s regular broadcasts) echo this singular goal or plan, the effectiveness of that social control is heightened.

Given your life experiences, and by doing some imaginative math about how many different groups are trying to control you, it is clear that you are being pulled in many directions.

The way I see it, even more confusing is that none of these groups are evil or good.

Of course, you have a moral stance and will judge various influences as good, neutral, or evil, but from a bird’s eye view, there is simply an array of consequences that occur because of your actions and everyone else’s actions.

I’m not here to moralize, but I am here to argue from the point of this website’s goals. There are social controls that inhibit your sexual freedom and ability as a man to forge his destiny.

I’m here to point out some of the biggest influences that attempt to control you, as I believe them antithetical to the goal of having a free and abundant position in the sexual marketplace.

There are hundreds of influences being thrust upon you every day, but here are 14 of the most powerful social controls that I believe you should be aware of and resist, as they inhibit your ability to be the best man you can be.

These social controls try to do one thing: convince you to adopt a belief.

If they can convince you that X is bad and Y is good, then you will follow their agenda or reinforce their worldview. It’s that simple.

To make you aware of social control, I will explain what “they” try to make you believe, the motivation behind that attempt at social control; I'll provide examples of who will try to convince you of this control. As you’ll see, “they” can’t actually stop you from doing what you want, and in most cases, they can only convince you – through shame and fear – how to act.

The BISA Method: How to Turn Dreams into Reality

How to Turn Dreams into Reality
Learning pickup has changed my life. But the mechanism behind my transformation is applicable for realizing any dream you may have. I call it “The BISA Method.”

Gotta say…

Thanks to this pickup stuff, I’ve had a pretty amazing life.

Back when I first discovered it, I only wanted to fix a problem – I had no idea it would lead to a life where I’m actually paid to pursue my passion to write, date incredibly beautiful women, and travel the world coaching and helping men achieve their goals.

It’s like I won some sort of lottery. Thanks Internet!

I took a chance and it paid off. But look, if you’re new to all this self-improvement stuff, here’s a little story to motivate you. Maybe you’ll want to be a world traveling pickup instructor, maybe not, but my story here will illustrate just how big of an impact learning these skills has had on my life – and how big an impact it could have on yours.

The Red-Black Game, Pt.4: Security, Fear, and Predicting Human Behavior

red-black game predicting behavior
Feelings of security or fear largely influence how people play the game. Can these factors be used to predict whether someone will play red or black?

The red-black game is a simple reflection of how decision-making affects outcomes, like what’s called the “butterfly effect.” In Part 3, we started to see how trust, fear, and the outcomes of the red-black game are self-fulfilling prophecies.

Throughout my work story, the company CEO and my colleague Monica both played red at various points when I chose to play black. That created chaos for me because I was unprepared – and now, I was about to be defeated.

However, playing red all the time also invites total destruction. Now we’ll find out what led to Monica’s downfall.

To conclude the red-black game series, we’ll see that stability – or the appearance of stability – affects the perception and presence of trust and fear.

In the end, we’ll see that our own beliefs about the world create that reality, as well as the outcomes of the red-black game.

The Red-Black Game, Pt.3: Real-Life Example of How I Got the Shaft

Red-Black Game: How I Got the Shaft
The Red-Black Game can get hairy in competitive situations. Let’s take a look at an example from my own life where I get the shaft for not protecting myself.

Welcome back to The Red-Black Game – covering the brutality of life!

In Part 2, it was important to understand the utility of playing red in the game. Perhaps even more crucial, however, we discussed how important it is to defend yourself against red players and neutralize threats before they have the chance to execute.

Now let’s look at how stability – or the appearance of stability – affects the perception and presence of trust and fear, and how the outcomes of the red-black game can be self-fulfilling prophecies.

Ultimately, we’ll see how your beliefs about the world create that exact reality.

Life is full of self-fulfilling prophecies. Our thoughts define our actions.

As we saw in Parts 1 and 2, once fear enters a person’s psyche, they question motives and make decisions that shift the dynamics from red to black. However, it’s ultimately black – i.e., collaborative approaches – that create wins for great ventures.

On the other hand, while red players are capable of winning, we’ll also see that playing red too often – sometimes to an addictive degree – can cause total failure and self-annihilation.

The Red-Black Game, Pt.2: Playing for Self-Preservation

red-black game playing for self-preservation
“Speak softly, and carry a big stick” was Theodore Roosevelt’s suggestion for how to play the Red-Black Game. Let’s talk about why it’s such a great strategy.

In my first article about the red-black game, we covered the mechanics of the game and how the choices involved reflect those we make in life.

We spent a great deal of time analyzing the implications of choosing black, which we use to build support, generate enthusiasm, and win together.

Now let’s look more closely at red and how self-preservation fits into the picture.

We concluded that when it comes to internal issues, where you want stakeholders to win with you, it’s best to play black. Trust, collaborate, cooperate, and play nice but firm. Alternatively, when you have an external issue, where you see a threat that you cannot move to your side, it’s best to play red. Compete, defeat, and do whatever it takes to win.

It’s important to keep in mind that not all people are out for the same thing or have the same values at the same times. Sometimes, circumstances beyond the control of one or both parties make it impossible or impractical to partake in mutually beneficial models.

Unexpected changes in the wind, the market, or personal circumstances can lead to legitimate fear and mistrust in everyone. Mutual benefit is not always a matter of trusting other people in a relationship.

You could trust someone implicitly, but can you always trust the security of the underlying situation, and can you trust that circumstances won’t change? The one constant in life is change, so you should expect and prepare for changes throughout your life.

Dating and Relationship Precedent: Avoid Leading Her On (Video)

Spending time with a cute girl is fun. Enjoying sex and good conversation with her is one of the finest pleasures in life.

But sometimes that's all you want.

As lovers of women, it's paramount that we make sure she knows that's all you want and doesn't get her hopes up for anything more than you can offer.

We want to make women happy and leave them better than we found them.

That's why it's important to understand precedent and expectations, in any kind of relationship, sexual and romantic.

Watch the video to learn how to set the right expectations with women.

The Red-Black Game, Pt.1: An Analogy for Life and Relationships

red-black game analogy for life and relationships
How you play the game of life will determine whether you win or lose. It’s nice if everyone could win all the time, but real life situations often make that impractical.

To close out my writing for the year, I’m going to take a hard look at human behavior in this series. I started writing this article back in January 2018 and, at first, it was one of my most positive – and unrealistic – articles to date.

It put it on the back burner for the rest of the year. Meanwhile, my life unfolded into the greatest whirlwind I’ve ever experienced, a result of the forces of trust and fear, as well as people striving to get what they want from me – and me from them.

When you interact with another human being, there are many elements at play. Two of the biggest are trust and intention. The combination of these two elements – how much you trust someone and how you perceive their intentions – has huge ramifications for how your relationships develop and endure.

This article is a little abstract, but I think it’s a nice model for pondering over how you interact with different people and entities. I’m going to show you a model for approaching your relationships with others for your long-term benefit, whether it be with men or women, in either business or social situations. I’m also going to teach you how to identify when to protect yourself from people who want to hurt, dominate, or take advantage of you.

I believe everyone can grow from this model, and it boils down to one simple thing – when you play a game, everyone wants to win. For you to achieve the strongest level of power in a game, you must ensure that everyone wins their game and are in control of that process.

If you cannot achieve this (i.e., if you cannot win together), then you must ensure that you read the threatening intentions of the other side correctly, successfully dominate the other side, and win against any aggressive threats.

This includes the dating game. Always structure your encounters with women so that both you and her win in the battle. Either dominate your competition or provide winning mechanisms for them, too. We’re going to analyze this by exploring the red-black game.

Neediness Repulses Women, Abundance Mentality Makes Them Chase

neediness repulses women - abundance makes them chase
Gorgeous women are harangued by clueless, needy guys since the day they blossom. That’s why they bolt at the first sign of neediness… and chase the men who “get it.”

Every woman has an ex-boyfriend who lost his mind.

The media is ripe with crimes of passion, where men transform from lovers to stalkers, or from loyal boyfriends to controlling, jealous, domineering abusers.

They ruin it for all of us.

I used to be a very needy, weak man. Wet toast. Not the alpha-god of charisma that I am today. Even though I was incredibly insecure in grade 7, I still managed to score my first “girlfriend.” It lasted a whole week!

Her name was Despi. A beautiful, rich, Greek girl from another school. Being an introverted kid, I was shocked that she wanted me to call her. A girl likes… me?

“Despi likes Tony!?” they cried. It was my induction into the upper echelons of popularity, social proofed by a girl I didn’t even know yet. Suddenly, kids invited me to parties, sports games, and sleepovers. I was part of a different game now. An adult game without a rule book.

The first night of our short affair, I sat by the telephone, petrified, but I mustered the courage to call her. It went fine, and we agreed to go to a movie. Some nineties romantic comedy.

At the film, I sat there in a state of confusion, pumped with dopamine and adrenaline, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do. I wanted to hold her hand. Can you do that? Just pick it up? Squeeze it and play with its softness? Does she like Metallica? Nintendo? Should I ask?

We didn’t meet again after that.

Fast-forward to grade 8.

How to Plan a Party that Makes You Friends and Gets You Girls

how to plan a party
The party lifestyle can pay lots of dividends in friends, fun, and women. To plan a great party requires your focus on 5 key areas: people, angle, and more.

We've had guys on Girls Chase asking me for years for a party planning guide that will help guys make awesome friends and meet beautiful girls. Most of the women I meet I meet via cold approach (i.e., I see a girl I like wherever, so I just go talk to her). And most of my friends I've met either via other friends or from forums (often private forums) I participate on.

However, there was a time I used to throw parties. Great parties, exclusive parties, with high status men and beautiful women.

Sometimes I threw big parties, with hundreds of people in attendance. And more often I threw smaller soirees with 25 to 40 people (which are generally easier to manage and better to connect with people at... and hook up at).

I didn't start off good at party planning. The first party I threw, a Halloween house party a few days before the holiday (back in 2007), saw a total of four people show up: one close friend of mine at the time, who flew down from Chicago for what he thought would be a legendary bash, and three random guys sent there by some girl I'd asked to come (she didn't come, but she sent some dudes I didn't know over. First rule of party planning: random dudes showing up = not ideal). This after I'd spent weeks preparing for the party – my decorations were awesome! – and loads of cash on drinks, candy, and other snacks. My friend, myself, and the three random dudes ended up heading to a bar after about 40 minutes when no one else showed up.

I spent the next 3.5 years going to every party I could and picking the brains of the party planners before I felt confident enough to try another party of my own. And once I did start to throw my own parties, unlike that first attempt these parties were hits.

What I learned along the way, from first flop to final bash, was how to plan a party a lot more people showed up to... for, in general, a lot less work.

This is my guide to that. And while it will be easier than what I did in 2007 for that go-nowhere bash, it'll still be some work – don't think this will be a cake walk.

It's going to be work. But if you want to build the kinds of parties that make all your wildest party dreams come true, and be the man of the hour yourself, you're going to want to build them yourself, too.