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Building Equity

Qualities That Propel You to Dating Success

Tony Depp's picture

success with women
If you want learn how to become successful with women as quickly as possible, these particular traits and mindsets will accelerate your progress.

If you want to be amazing with women, there’s one mindset that will land you more success than any other:

The ability to deal with rejection.

When guys ask me what it takes to become amazing with women, I tell them the only thing that separates them from me, is that I’ll face rejection more in a week than they will in their entire life. It’s true. The best salesmen aren’t always the top closers; they just knock on more doors.

Guys also ask me how long it will take to learn and get good. I’ve written articles trying to explain and quantify something like this, but it’s really up to individual experience, work ethic, and the emotional fortitude to deal with a crapload of rejection.

That got me wondering... what qualities make a guy learn success with women quickly? Is there a certain mindset you can embody to become a champion in the shortest amount of time possible? What are the personality quirks and characteristics you can work on to master your transformation in this lifetime?

Approach One Thousand Women and Believe

Tony Depp's picture

pickup seduction snake oil
Is pickup just a bunch of snake oil? No, and you should take my word for it. After you’ve approached enough girls, you’ll wonder why you ever doubted.

A reader from my newsletter messaged me: “This pickup artist stuff is a scam. All women care about is looks. Pickup guys market to the insecure, selling snake oil.”

“So, how long have you been reading my blog?” I replied.

“About two years now.”

“Why?”

“For the lols.”

For the lols. Right.

It’s the old, eternal debate. Is all this pickup stuff for real, or just a huge set of lies created to sell BS e-courses to hapless, neckbeard virgins? And unless you’re 6’5” with six-pack abs, a full head of luscious hair, and are wealthy, you’ll never get anywhere.

Sorry, you short, bald, broke, fat old bastards. No love for you (unless you buy my book, link at the bottom of this post).

Usually, you should be skeptical. Skepticism is healthy and good.

Somebody is trying to sell you on a pyramid scheme with zero chance of failure? The Earth is actually flat, says your favorite YouTuber? Meth isn’t really that bad, and if you just try it once you’ll be fine?

Skepticism keeps you from wasting your time, health, and money on things that are potentially terrible for you. However, when it comes to self-improvement, skepticism won’t help you; it will hinder your progress.

That’s why so many religions and cults thrive. They depend on the true believers. But the believers also get something from the deal. They receive a community, or message, that helps them transcend or something.

You probably just want to get laid.

When I discovered the Mystery Method, I wasn’t skeptical; not at all. Why would I be? A magician in a top hat is telling me to use negs and magic tricks to sleep with Vegas supermodels. There’s absolutely nothing there to trigger skepticism.

Here’s the thing. All this information is free. Sure, Girls Chase has a subscription and paywall, and we sell an amazing course called One Date (among others), but that’s because we employ a dozen gurus, editors, programmers, video editors, and so on. These people have to eat. But if you Google “How to pick up girls,” between blogs, forums, and YouTube videos, you’ll find decades of material you can binge on for free.

The only benefit to paying for it is to support your favorite author, pinpoint specific niche material or masterful consolidations of the essentials in one beautiful package to speed up your learning process. But you don’t need to pay for it if you don’t need to save time.

Skepticism won’t help you.

You have to ask yourself, "Do I really want to learn?" Then you have to believe in the process, fully. You must let go of all doubt and embrace the path of learning game.

The Game Never Ends

Tony Depp's picture

seduction game goes on
Cherish the grind, the journey of achieving your goals. Enjoy the struggle and hope it never ends, because your worst fear should be having everything you desire.

Many years ago, I lamented my lack of ability to attract 9s and 10s. I posted about this on a forum, and a black ex-pimp dating coach named “Player Supreme” made a podcast about it. He gave me a great insight that nobody else could or would say.

“You’re not 9 and 10 material.”

Ouch.

His advice was simple. Stop studying, go to the gym, lift, increase my income, and lower my standards.

That’s not what Tony Robbins would say!

Well, I went to the gym, but I never got huge. I started my own business, and I’m still not rich. I have really great game but still can’t get 9s and 10s with the consistency of a Vampire or Rock Star.

But my life is pretty great in comparison to that guy who just wanted to bang a 9. Been there, done that – many times. And the only aspect of this journey I can correlate to this is age and experience. The more you play, the better you get.

But you know, looking back, what he was saying makes perfect sense. If you want a 9, become a 9. (Side note: we all know there’s no such thing as a 10.)

Player Supreme was saying not to chase the girls who are out of your league, but rather become the guy who is out of their league, and combine that with game.

Now my goals are much simpler. I want:

Check, check, check, and check.

So enough about me. Let's talk about how you can set standards – realistic standards – to help you achieve your goals?

The Worst Battlegrounds for Getting Good with Women

Alek Rolstad's picture

getting good with women
Some dating methods are terrible for guys learning to attract the women they desire. If you’re learning game, do NOT focus on these battlegrounds.

I have noticed that many men are shooting themselves in the foot and purposely selecting battles and battlefields that are not beneficial for them when it comes to dating.

For example, when guys want to get laid, many will use:

With the right strategies and skills, you can find success is all those battlegrounds, but to be honest, all are relatively crappy compared to others available, especially for beginners.

Picking poor battlefields as the selected method for dating is also counter-intuitive – making this not only more difficult for themselves but also limiting their results and making the process much more frustrating.

This post is partly meant to express some frustration I’m experiencing and answer many commonly asked questions. This post will hopefully clarify my thoughts on simplifying the process of getting laid and finding girlfriends, and help guys make the best use of their time and energy.

Let’s get right to it.

Joshua Spodek | Taking Initiative (Podcast)

Varoon Rajah's picture

Welcome back to Dating Mechanics, our podcast here on Girls Chase! Today I feature a special guest who was recommended to me by Chase. Joshua Spodek is an expert in leadership, training, and taking initiative. He has a PhD and an MBA, writes a column for Inc., and has five Ivy league degrees.

In this podcast, we’re here to talk about his new book Initiative, in which Josh shares how anyone can start taking initiative to create extraordinary results in all aspects of life.

Most entrepreneurial resources require you to start with an idea and a team – big hurdles that increase the challenge. Initiative is for the other 94% of us who aren’t in fields that naturally generate ideas.

In fact, many people shy away from starting a business out of fear of having no ideas, or too many ideas – both symptoms of ineffective prioritizing. This applies to dating and social skills, too.

Everywhere you look, when we want to get good at something, we have to start somewhere.

Here’s Joshua...

The 4 Stages of Pickup and Seduction Development

Tony Depp's picture

stages of pickup development
Most guys who discover the seduction community don’t taste the fruits of real success with women, because they get stuck. What stage are you at, and how can you progress?

For most guys starting out, learning how to approach women is about as fun as hammer fisting themselves in the nuts. But there comes a point when it goes from being terrifying and horrible to heroin-level addictive.

Many men ask me the question: “How long does it take to become good?”

There’s no direct answer. It depends on your desired outcome.

If you want to achieve a goal, it helps to know what that goal is.

How Boys Become Men in the Modern World

Cody Lyans's picture

By: Cody Lyans

how boys become men
There isn’t a single event or ritual that can make you a man, yet many believe there is – and that they’ve missed it. Becoming a man has always been a process of choices.

I’ve heard time and time again on the internet that “guys aren’t becoming men these days,” so it might be important to address this idea.

I want to help illuminate what parts of this statement are wrong, what parts are deceptive, and what parts are correct.

First off, let me say there has never been a perfect time to exist and there probably never will be, so let’s not look at this statement too seriously. Instead, we will do a better job of looking at each part as we reflect on the true way a boy can become a man in today’s world.

Sow Your Wild Oats! College Wasn’t Your Only Chance

Varoon Rajah's picture

sow your wild oats
College is touted as THE place to sow your wild oats, so guys who didn’t get it done then feel they missed out forever. But nothing could be further from the truth!

I wrote an April Fools’ Day article this year that focused on college – a “what if” theme meant to be satirical but has its roots in peoples’ desires to relive the college experience. We often get posters on the boards (and ironically, across many different forums on other social skills websites, too) who lament about not having a proper college experience that is dream-like à la the movies.

This could include being part of a fraternity, being able to day drink constantly while being one of the most popular kids in school and always having access to hot girls with little to no effort. The focus is being part of a social group and a “brotherhood” dedicated to having some wild experiences. While it’s true that college is a truly liberating time in life, I firmly believe that a lack of experience in college doesn’t hinder your successes later in life.

What was shocking to me is how many people took that article seriously, then really pondered what it would be like to relive college and do it all over again. Thinking about it more myself, I realized a greater thought – that every single guy needs to get their “wild side” out of their system sometime in their life. In other words, every guy needs to sow his wild oats. Guys that don’t do this seem to think they’ve somehow missed out on life, and thus hold a lot of regrets about where they were and what they have to do to recover.

However, this isn’t meant to be anything that advocates being a victim. You might not realize it, but it’s never too late to start doing something – anything – as long as you’re still alive and physically healthy, breathing, and capable. As we’ll see, it’s never too late for a guy to sow his wild oats.

10 Most Common Reasons Guys Can't Get Laid

Tony Depp's picture

can't get laid
The reasons a guy can’t get laid may be simple, but more often it’s not so intuitive. Here are the usual suspects, some of which you may have never considered.

“Why Can’t I Get Laid?”

After many years of teaching pickup, I can narrow down the reasons why so many guys can’t get laid.

This article may help you self-diagnose some of your inner and outer game issues if you’re stuck in a vicious cycle of no sex. These tips will help you break free and score some lovin’ again – or for the first time.

So here are the top 10 factors I see in guys who just can’t get laid.

Not Getting the Results You Want? Change Something About Yourself

Darwin Niwrad's picture

no results? change yourself
If you’ve ever been stuck in a rut – and got out of it – you may have noticed your emergence came with a change. Here’s why to embrace change rather than stagnate.

Trial and error is an essential process in learning about and developing yourself. It can apply to many aspects of life, especially with women and dating. It can be hard to admit that something you’re doing when it comes to dating may not be working in your favor.

Obviously, if you knew that, it wouldn’t be a problem, so to process this, it’s beneficial to think about your past relationships or hookups. If you realize that your current method in whatever you are pursuing isn’t benefiting you, then the natural response should be to change your method to get different results – ideally positive results.

This change can happen on many levels: your appearance, social circle, or daily activities. Change may even occur on a more personal level that could, in turn, shape your perspective on what type of women interest you. More importantly, know that you have many resources available to help you make the change necessary. In changing something about yourself, know that you don’t have to be a guinea pig.