Female Mind

Before having sex, a woman needs to feel she’s not putting her ego at risk. Here’s what you need to know to manage her self-esteem before and after the act.

Welcome back to the female self-esteem series! I hope these articles have shown you how important it is to keep women’s self-esteem high, as well as your own.

Nobody wants to screw or be involved with someone with low self-esteem; except for some abusive relationships which can be addictive in their own right. Most women want to be with men who make them feel good about themselves, and all women want to feel sexually validated and have more ravishing sex than all their friends.

In Part 1, we shared stories about how two different girls auto-rejected during the escalation process because they felt low self-esteem.

In Part 2, I shared how self-esteem matters when you’re on a date with a girl, and described ways to amp up her self-esteem to close the deal.

In Part 3, we covered self-esteem issues in the bedroom and how they affect women’s feelings for you.

Now, in the final installment, let’s talk about calibrating self-esteem to keep it high, and what to do if you mess up and lower her self-esteem.

It’s not always obvious why a girl ejects from a seduction. Let’s take a look at some nuanced aspects of social dynamics as they relate to Female State Control.

Hey guys, and welcome back. Today I will finish up where we last left off. Last week’s discussion was about social frame, focusing on social value, a key aspect of social frame and seduction in general.

Social frame is a bundle term for everything concerning attraction and attractiveness on a social level. A good social frame lets you match with her socially. It contributes to whether or not a girl will feel it is okay to hook up with you. If you lack social frame, you may risk causing her to regain control of her emotions and back off, despite being stimulated by you emotionally. That's what we call Female State Control (FSC), which has been the primary topic of all my posts these last few weeks.

Previously we discussed how:

• Social value is vital to social frame, and why it’s important to have at least a minimum threshold of social value

• Social value is relative to where you are at with attracting her

• You can increase your social value through different techniques and concepts

Today we will discuss another aspect of social frame — social dynamics. We’ll look at the dynamics that take place in the interaction, and how they can make you win the girl or lose her.

This post should present little new information to those who are accustomed to pickup literature, although a recap is always nice. Also, you will see how these concepts relate to social frame and perhaps gain a new perspective on how they affect the interaction and outcome. For this reason, I would recommend even advanced guys read this article.

Let’s get to it.

We’ve all experienced or have seen relationships go stale and die, but they don’t have to. The secret is to keep her addicted with volatility and unpredictability.

I’ve noticed some interesting patterns with a good friend of mine in the city. He’s been seeing this girl for a long time. He met her via day game and it ended up with sex on the first date. It’s been several years now, and he’s been seeing her like a girlfriend, while still gaming and sleeping with other girls discreetly on the side once in a while.

I think he would be trying to meet more women, but he seems to be pretty satiated with her at the moment. Whenever I see him, it’s always her that seems to be messaging and chasing after him. From what he tells me, their sex life is great. She always messages him to get together and sees him 2–4 times a week. It seems that they have wild sex virtually the entire time they’re together. He says she might be doing it to keep him from meeting other girls, which she knows he’s fully capable of doing.

This is a different pattern from what most guys do when they’re with women. They get comfortable, then play it safe in a relationship. Men try to keep their relationship stable — and effectively boring. It’s because the majority of guys are generally safe and boring by nature, so it’s their normal inclination to do the same with the women in their life.

On the other hand, women thrive on change, stimulation, and challenge, especially with shifting feelings and emotions. It’s even better when they can tie the source of those shifting emotions to the man they're with (women do this with bad boys, after all).

What is the single most attractive quality that women see in a man?

You probably won’t guess it.

It’s not money. It’s not looks. It’s not height. It’s not a big dick. It’s not charm. It’s not intelligence.

Confused yet?

You’ll see, and I’ll explain.

Your social frame is possibly the most important thing when battling Female State Control. This means projecting the right social frame in the right context.

Welcome back. Previously, we have discussed female state control (FSC), described what it is, and presented some solutions. FSC is when a woman backs off (despite liking you) so she doesn’t “lose herself” and get “carried away by you” before she knows for sure you are a good guy for her to get with.

Women are selective, and they know that being aroused or mentally stimulated by a guy is not enough of an indicator of a suitable mate. Yet they tend to get carried away. So whenever women feel like they are losing control, they back off to make a more “rational” assessment of you.

A simple way to put it is this: have you ever gotten a girl aroused and could tell she was into you, yet she backed off saying you are not her type?

Well, that is not an uncommon scenario. This is female state control. She likes you; she is turned out by you, but either:

• You don’t fit her social standards
• You do not fit into the usual categories of guys she likes
• She doesn’t feel comfortable exploring further

What we are dealing with is a lack of what Gunwitch calls “social frame.” And a lack of social frame can force women to control their state whenever they feel emotionally stimulated by you.

So, arousal + social frame = a high chance of pulling (if logistics allow). On the other hand, arousal with a lack of social frame means she will get aroused but control her state.

In other words, having a lack of social frame makes her control herself, and creating a good social frame minimizes your chances of dealing with FSC. In the next three weeks, we will discuss the three aspects of creating social frame that we touched upon last week, but we'll get into greater detail.

These aspects are:

• Social value and social dynamics
• Rapport and connection
• Investment

If you're unfamiliar with any of those terms, click on them to learn more.

Today, let’s take a look at the first aspect: social status, value, and overall social dynamics.

But before we get into that, here’s a quick recap of what social frame is as it relates to FSC.

To avoid triggering Female State Control in the women you seek to bang, it helps to focus on particular concepts, such as social frame, investment, and comfort.

Welcome back. I promised to share my latest insights on female state control (FSC). We've been discussing this new concept over the last few weeks, so here are the previous articles if you haven't had a chance to read them:

1. Female State Control (FSC): Theoretical Causes and Effects
2. Female State Control (FSC): Preemptive Measures

Quick recap: FSC is a defense mechanism that auto-regulates a woman’s state whenever she feels that her emotions are getting out of control. A woman may be stimulated by a guy too much, too fast. Despite enjoying the strong emotions this man elicits, it can become too much for her, causing her to slow things down or outright eject.

Here are three reasons a woman needs to regulate her state:

1. To protect herself: she wants time to assess and know that a guy is safe to hook up with. She needs to regulate her state so she can make a sober judgment of him.

2. To feel in control of the situation and not feel helpless: knowing that she is in control creates comfort

3. To maintain her social/sexual power: by putting out too much, a woman gives away social power, which she could otherwise use to create social bonds and acquire providers

A woman controls her state in these ways:

• Putting herself away from you: she will leave to go dance, go to the bathroom, and so on
• Turn cold (out of the blue)
• Have her friends drag her state down (cockblock you or cockblock her)
• De-escalate the interaction

FSC can be misinterpreted as anti-slut defense (ASD), which shares similar symptoms.

In my previous post, we discussed solutions on how to avoid FSC by:

• Slowing things down
• Focus on frames rather than buyer’s temperature

Today we will go further by looking at what we can do to bypass it.

Guys get told they’re guilty of horrible double standards all the time. But are double standards actually a bad thing… and are they even real?

There is a strange phenomenon in urban places. Double standards come under attack.

Not all double standards, mind you. But certain ones.