14 Simple Ways to Text a Girl and Make Her Want You | Girls Chase

14 Simple Ways to Text a Girl and Make Her Want You

Chase Amante

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how to text a girl
Don't know how to text a girl you like? Copy these texts and send them to her to get her excited and ready to go out with you.

You get a girl's contact info. Which is perfect, because you already know exactly how to text a girl. You know what to text her. Even when to text it.

You slide out your phone and tap a quick message in. You hit "send."

Soon after, a response arrives. It's her! She seems thrilled to hear from you.

Not only that, but she is eager to meet up with you. In person.

You set up the date. Now her and you get to meet. It's no longer a digital romance: you've moved things into the real world.

This is the goal of every text you send a woman. It's not to have a fun conversation with her (though you'll do that too). It's not to flirt. It's not even to turn her on. It's to get her out in-person, where you can do all that other stuff so much better. You would rather have her right there with you, where you can touch her, sit near her, and hear her tinkling laughter, wouldn't you?

This article is your easy-to-use guide on how to text a girl and make her want you.

Throughout it, I have more and better text examples for you than you will find anywhere else. You can copy + paste these texts, or use them as guide rails to write your own. You'll also get to understand the psychology behind why these texts work. Once you know why the texts work, it's easy to adapt how you text girls to new situations.

First, a few rules before we start:

  1. Your goal when you text a girl is to get her to meet in person

  2. When you text, you must be brief, yet cover the important stuff

  3. Long conversations are best done in-person, not via messages

  4. You can only truly show two attractive traits over text: a.) confidence and b.) social savvy. Trying too hard to show any other trait (like sexiness, adventurousness, or niceness) moves you further from your goal and hurts your chances with her... so keep your eye on the ball and get her out in person (where you can then show all your other great traits)

I've placed the texts in this article roughly in the order you'll send them.

Follow the game plan, and you'll text a girl out with you, happy to see you, within a few days of meeting her -- or even sooner than that.

Obligatory note: the texts below are reconstructions. I'm not so sleazy as to out real (and awesome!) chicks on here. Please treat these as teaching aids.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

GET CHASE’S ONE DATE SYSTEM

Comments

Dr. Klas's picture

Hi Chase,

Great article as always!

I’d like to know your thoughts concerning switching from text messages to WhatsApp messenger. Of recent,  it seems that most people are now on WhatsApp and are more likely to respond to a message there than via text — this is from my experience.

I’ve used it to set up dates, and it worked fine for me or even better than the classic text.

Would you advise these techniques for WhatsApp also? 

Let me know your thoughts on this matter, thanks!

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Dr. Klas-

Good question. I'd assume they're the same... but I deliberately avoid using apps (WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, WeChat). So I do not actually know.

Let me ping a few folks and get back to you on that one. I'll update this comment once I have some confirmation one way or the other for you.


UPDATE: here's what other guys from around GC had to say:

  • Denton: "It's the same IMO. Then again my text and online game are trash. All about that cold approach"

  • Tony: "On WhatsApp I use voice memos more often"

  • Hector: "Same principles, except there's 'read receipts' so someone can know if you read their message or not if you turn them on. Most people do. Or you can turn them off, so no one knows if you read them, but you also don't know if they read you. I think that changes the dynamics a bit... in some meta way I can't describe"

Seems to be largely the same (same messages, timing, etc.), except with a few feature differences: voice memos, read receipts. Hope this helps!

Chase

Ben's picture

Hey chase,

So I dont believe you included this in the article,but I think it's very common for a scenario in which you propose a date to a girl but the meetup cant happen until much later during the week like 5 days later or even more. Most of the examples on the site talk about meeting uo with the girl the day of or the day after but a lot of girls have things to do. So what do you text a girl in between when she agrees to the date and the day of the date so she doesnt forget about you,feel cold from the lack of contact, and is more likely to not flake on you? Hector in his yt livestreams suggest to start a mild text convo in between the days so she doesn't lose interest. What do you think?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Ben-

Good question!

Yeah, that'll happen. A mild text conversation can be fine. Just a couple messages in between... if, say, the date is five days out, on the third day after you've set the date, a little rapport text and a few back-and-forth messages can do the trick. For a rapport text, just write a Standard Scheduler Text, but leave the scheduling question off. So it's:

  1. Greeting
  2. Consideration
  3. New information

Then trade a couple texts when she replies. Don't get in too deep.

My personal preference though is if she won't be free for 4+ days, to delay setting details for the meet until we draw closer.

Once you confirm the date, and it's far off, you tell her you'll ping her when you're closer to plan the details.

That's like this:

how to text a girl

There's a non-zero chance your "Let's set the details" text several days later results in a flake if she's cooled off. But in my experience it's no greater than the flake rate for girls you set the details for in advance, then call or text in the interim to keep things warm.

There are two advantages of delaying the details until you're close to the date I like:

  1. No risk of the interim conversation going weird or derailing things

  2. You avoid the "she liked the date idea four days ago, but now she doesn't like it" problem, because you don't set the idea until a few days before the date

Up to the guy, of course. You can do either: set the details, then have an interim chat to keep things warm. Or pick a date but delay setting any further details until the date draws near.

Chase

CientĂ­fico's picture

Hey Chase,

Really an excellent post. This one will be in my bookmarks and one to reference often. Two questions:

1.) Echoing what the commenter above posted, sometimes the date will not happen until 4-5 days after the number was acquired, meaning there is a lot of downtime. I just had a situation like this happen to me: met girl on a Sunday, she agreed to a date that day for Thursday. We exchanged numbers, warm reply to icebreaker text. Then I set up a time for the date on Tuesday via text and she agreed (did this with the intention of breaking the silence). Thursday morning (today) I text again to confirm and give a location to meet me: she replies with "Im sorry but I have some stuff to do tonight". Whoa! Something went wrong here, and it problably has to do with her cooling off over that period. What to do here?

2.) I've also had two girls this week who I met from daygame respond to icebreaker texts, yet give me no reply at all to follow up scheduler texts. Can think of a few ways to handle these - i.) write them off, ii.) text some witty random comment a days later to see if they respond, iii.) follow up with a phone call a few days later iv.) another scheduler text?

Of course this can be tested scientifically, but I know Chase that you have done the research!

Thanks very much in advance for your reply,

Científico

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Científico-

Yes, girls cooling off will happen sometimes... especially when there's a delay until the date. Sadly.

You should try to choose an approach based on your read of how well things went with her. If you made a strong first impression and she clearly liked you, use the delay tactic I mentioned in my response to Ben (commenter above).

If you think she may cool off though (impression not as strong; she seemed busy or more business-like), it may work better to have some interim communication. If you get a strong "this girl's going to cool off" vibe, you may not have made a strong enough impression -- where that's the case, phone calls help a lot. In cases like that, it can be worthwhile to set the date, then a few days in call her up and either have a quick chat or leave a little voice mail in your sexy phone voice.

With girls who don't reply to schedulers: I have done the research, yes!

I used to do the 'witty/interesting text after a few days' without a date request in it. I found girls will often reply to this. Often with an apology for not responding to your earlier request. However, it almost never leads to anything. They don't want to brush you off when they see you're fun/interesting/cool, but they don't want to date you either.

I have had success with switching to phone calls though -- I recommend that. Even if she doesn't pick up, if you leave a great voicemail the "phone paranoid" girls will sometimes respond via text and you can set a date up with them then (once they've heard your voice and remembered they like you). If you can get them on the phone obviously that's even better. Usually it is an 'on the fence' thing; if you can give her some extra things to feel good about you with (like your vocal tonality, your comfort on the phone with her, the laughs she experiences in a call with you, etc.) that can be enough.

The other option you have is to write her off as a one-on-one date candidate, and invite her to a party later. This can work. The weird thing that will often happen is

  1. She ignores your scheduler text

  2. A week or two later you invite her to a party

  3. She apologizes for not responding to your scheduler text, tells you she can't make the party, then offers you her schedule for the one-on-one date

Seems to mostly be a social proof / social value thing. She sees you're a guy with an active social life, decides "Oh! I guess he's okay then", and opts to go out with you at that point.

So, those are your two best options for girls who flat-out ignore the scheduler, in my experience: call her up, or party invite her.

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Thank you for this addition to texting! I like how you addressed different situations! 

Re: Valentines

Happy Valentines Day Chase ! Have some chocolates! (where we all stay in and play video games or so is the plan)

I tried going out today, but it was raining with snow from the yesterday lying around. 

But I still did it. Went out at 2pm or so, and saw barely anyone out. It was cold and windy and cloudy on a Friday afternoon. So didn't to meet many girls for our National Rebound day :(

Any tips for day game on National Rebound day so I can make the most of it next time? Any time / location / weather considerations to max our outing experience?

Weather might have to do with being fewer people out. Most were old seniors out, maybe because it's at 2pm on a weekday. Then again, defiant girls probably won't be going out at such terrible weather conditions. Oh well, I tried.

Lawliet

p.s. have you tried this in other countries? Any observations?

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

National Rebound Day works best with night game. There's a much higher concentration of defiant women out in bars the day after Valentine's than anywhere else.

You can still look for them in day game. But given they're a minority of women out and about, you'll need to do a bunch of approaches to find them anything close to reliably.

Nightlife is far and away your best shot.

Unless you do a bunch of approaches during the daytime.

(though you can certainly keep your feelers out during daytime too... it doesn't hurt any. And you will sometimes run into defiant girls by pure chance this way)

The 'holiday' still applies in any country where Valentine's is a big deal. And national character matters somewhat... Western women are more likely to respond with defiance to things they view as slights as women from some other parts of the world are. But yeah, especially in the West, if Valentine's has a lot of cultural significance, the anti-holiday of National Rebound Day is there to pick up the pieces the day after ;)

Chase

Lawliet's picture

By the way, great job getting each new girl's photo along with their contact ;). They're looking sharp in all the examples!

How do you do it? 

Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

Well, these are reconstructions. I won't use real girls' images on the site ;)

However, there's a very easy way to get a girl's picture in your phone. And if you take a bunch of numbers or are the busy/distracted sort, it's very helpful.

The way you do it is after she's agreed to the date, and you've taken her contact info, you then say, "Hey, send me a pic real quick so I have you in my phone." Some girls will send to you then, some will send after. Some won't send, which is a little negative compliance but not the end of the world.

In general though, she's complied with the date request, and complied with the contact info, and it's usually not much work to get her to comply with the picture request after these two.

Pictures can be a lifesaver if you bounce around a bit and take numbers fairly often. Girls may fall off your radar and resurface later, and if you don't have a picture you will sometimes have no recollection of whom this girl is. With the picture, one look and usually you'll say "Oh yeah, I remember her!"

Very helpful to have.

Chase

Brandon 's picture

Hey Chase!

    Great article as always. Been using this article over the past few weeks to refine my texting habits, and I gotta say man, that you definitely helped me a lot! Was able to land 2 dates out of the last few weeks thanks to this article! However, I've noticed recently that the texting screenshot pictures you posted on this article are gone. Have these been intentionally removed? Theres a lot of missing text examples now that the pictures are gone.

    Brandon

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Nice work, Brandon! I'm very happy to hear they helped you line up those dates. Hope the dates went well too.

I wasn't aware the images were missing -- we had to fix something in the article's code a week or two ago; images probably broke then. Just fixed (showing up now). Thanks for pointing the vanished images out!

Chase

SZ's picture

Had some questions Chase,

1. When you ask if she can date the same day, is that from a different ask than when you ask her if she can get a drink sometime this week or next ?

Because if you ask that, wouldn't it be weird to ask the same day? Or do you just switch it up and ask for a date the same day or sometime this week?

2. How do you move on from girl to girl without having any problems? It seems that to sleep with a lot of girls you have to move quick, and I remember you saying you don't really do fwb and sleep with women twice. I feel sleeping with a girl a few more times makes it ok, so she doesn't feel hurt, but I don't want her attached either, I don't even know how to break it off.

So how do I do that ?

3. What tips do you have for tinder text game? Like opening, conversation, when to get the number, how to ask for it, when to set the date etc?

I also noticed colts tinder system was down, but went back up again, idk if it was a glitch or not, but if so when does the new one come out?

4. Lastly, are we still not paying for dates? Even off apps? Say if you go to a cheap spot for drinks, coffee or pizza, do you still split the bill?? How do you do it while not looking cheap and looking smooth?

Do we still take out dates from apps and online to fun places like arcades or comedy shows like in one of your old articles? Or can we just do the cheap date?

Also I never seen this answered before, but if you use date compression because you haven't slept with a girl, do you still go dutch for those 2-3 dates?

If so how does that play out?

Thanks

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