Tactics Tuesdays: Fresh Stories to Tell to Girls | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: Fresh Stories to Tell to Girls

Chase Amante

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storytelling seductionYou should always have a few fresh, recent stories to tell about your life.

These don't have to be particularly amazing stories. But they should be a little interesting, they should be recent, and they should display some interesting trait about you.

For instance, do you ever get people run up to you with strange requests? Four days ago I was at a Starbucks, eating a yogurt cup and reading my Kindle. They have this low-fat yogurt at Starbucks that is horrible. I don't know who wants yogurt with the fat out. But if you get the mixed berry yogurt, you can scoop up some berry and granola with the yogurt so it isn't too awful.

Well, I'm sitting there at this table by the window by myself, and I notice some girl hovering nearby. She looks like she's looking out the window, but I think she wants something.

Anyway, I go back to my book and my slightly awful low-fat yogurt.

The girl suddenly appears again, right at my table, and interrupts my reading. She says excuse me, do you have WhatsApp on your phone?

I look at her. She's pretty. But her face is glistening like she's been running a marathon or has a gland problem or something. And she looks all serious and distracted.

I can't tell if she's trying to meet someone and lost her phone, if she's using this as an excuse to meet me, or if she wants to steal my phone.

"I need to log into my WhatsApp account to check my messages," she tells me.

"Oh, sorry," I say. "I don't have WhatsApp."

But she doesn't leave. She just stands there, with her glistening face and her serious, distracted look.

"Oh," she says. "Because I thought everyone has WhatsApp. I just need to log into my account."

I don't know if she didn't hear me or what. She's not even really looking at me now, just glancing around as if scanning for predators. I do a quick mental calculus of "Do I want to go out of my way to help this random sweaty distracted chick? Do I want to tell her she can download WhatsApp to my phone, then sit there and watch her like a hawk while she uses it to make sure she doesn't make a break to run out of Starbucks with it?"

Instead I just tell her "Sorry, I don't have it."

She stands there for another moment, still looking sweaty and distracted. Finally she says "Okay, thanks" and walks off.

I notice her 15 minutes later over at some long table in the Starbucks, texting on a phone, still looking sweaty and serious but now laser-focused on whatever she's texting. So I guess she found someone to lend her a phone.

I dunno, what would you do in that scenario? I might've been more inclined to lend her my phone if she'd used a napkin first and wiped all that sweat off.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

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Comments

jensen's picture

Hey Chase,

I have an unrelated question to this great article. What should your reaction be when your girl tries to normalize checking out other guys to you. Sometimes specific guys not just celebrities or athletes.

 

Like for instance if you two are texting and you ask how her day has been and she says she and her girlfriend have been hanging out trying to move stuff and this guyfriend of her friends comes over to help move stuff and she mentions him taking off his coat wearing only a wifebeater that shows a lot and how he is cute and all that.She puts smiley faces in text. What should the reaction be on text? How should I react in person?

It sucks cause then they can just hide behind their behavior and say you are jealous even if you just don't want to hear about such things about other men and sometimes you feel she is testing your reaction to find out what your limits are just so she can feel she can get away with things that would be disrespectful normally.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Jensen-

She's doing it to make you jealous.

The way I react to things like that:

HER: Cate and I have been trying to move stuff. Peter came over to help and took his coat off. Nothing but a wife-beater on underneath. Whew, what a smokeshow! :)

YOU: Awesome. Sounds like you should ask him for a ticket to his gun show. Just send Cate my way and Peter's all yours ;)

If she didn't have a female friend with her, it would work just fine without the jealousy-inducing line in there too, and you could leave it at "ask him for a ticket to his gun show" with no smiley or anything (so she has no idea what your emotion is -- if you're angry, or teasing her, or insecure, or what).

Later she'll ask you about it: "How did you react when I sent you that?" and you just continue to test/troll her.

My general philosophy is, if a girl wants to troll me, just troll her back harder.

Makes everything a lot more fun, too.

Chase

Lawliet's picture

Hey Chase,

Thanks for this article. I want to ask you about something.

We have talked about giving the impression that "he gets what he wants in life" is sexy to women and demands respect from men. This is mentioned in your sexy walks article and many others.

So my question is what happens when we don't get what we want in life?

Times when people turn us down when we ask a compliance request.

Sometimes it might even be friends or family members and we feel completely indignant because it's something we rightfully deserve (I'm not talking about the entitled mentality where we are special and the world needs to give us things, but something we feel we deserve because it is a basic right or standard of yours, such as with friends you expect them to not be rude and a jerk, or girlfriend where you expect her to respect you, or a younger family member who you believe should respect you as an elder because you are indeed their senior)

And let's say people don't give us those basic things we want, how do we act toward this? (Audience or without audience).

 

Secondly, when people do reject us (in general, so for anything), how should we act? Yes, if someone was watching, they would see us get rejected and of course not see us "as someone who gets whatever they want in life" anymore, not sexy. But what is a high status man supposed to do in terms of social grace in this situation?

Lawliet

Author
Chase Amante's picture

Lawliet-

I think this mirrors your other comment, which I replied to here.

However, I will add that with the respect thing, if a girlfriend is being disrespectful, I will just tell her "You'd better quit being rude to me." I do not like to make threats (I don't like getting them, and I don't like making them). However, disrespect is not something I will tolerate. Assuming she lays off, after she calms down and we discuss, I will remind her again: "Hey, please remember. You've been getting quite disrespectful. No matter how angry you get at me, you need to not do that. I do not do that to you. I expect you not to do that to me."

If she keeps it up, you need to break up with her over it. If she wants to make up with you, then fine, give her a chance, but put her on notice that the behavior had better quit. The consequences need to grow more dire the longer it continues (e.g., more final breakups, etc.). If you tolerate disrespect too long in a relationship, you're done. Wrecked. You're a doormat. You need to hit it hard every time it comes up, whenever it comes up.

If it's a friend, depends how good the friendship. If it's a good one, and it was something spoken, I'll attempt to clarify: "Hey man, not sure if I interpreted this wrong. You said X. That felt like you were saying Y. Did I read that right, or I misread it?" Usually it turns out my read was somewhat off (or the guy wants to walk back the attack), and we squash that beef. If it was an action that's harder to get past. I was in a town not long ago where I had a long-time friend I hadn't been as in-touch with, but who had expressed a few years earlier he felt like he was "moving past all that" with regard to pickup, and seemingly included me with the stuff he was "moving past." He'd been cool toward me since then. I reached out to him while in town to see if he was there and wanted to grab a bite or drink. He announced he was in town, but declined to meet. Well, he was a good friend, but it was a clear snub, and after he'd announced before he was "moving past" what I took to mean me, so I left it at that. I wish him the best and won't worry it any further. People grow in different directions and not everyone you knew in the past will be your friend in the future -- just how it goes sometimes.

So, my general rule of thumb: words -- seek clarification. Actions, on the other hand, typically speak for themselves.

Secondly, when people do reject us (in general, so for anything), how should we act? Yes, if someone was watching, they would see us get rejected and of course not see us "as someone who gets whatever they want in life" anymore, not sexy. But what is a high status man supposed to do in terms of social grace in this situation?

Be the bigger man: "All right, that's too bad." "Ah really? Well, I'm disappointed. But okay."

Keep your voice tone neutral, look unfazed, while expressing moderate disappointment verbally. Then move on. However, from that point on, be standoffish with that individual... it's on him to make it up to you. (unless you know you did something wrong that prompted his reaction -- in which case, corner him alone at some point and clear the air)

If it's a girlfriend disrespecting you in public (and this has only happened to me once or twice): look her in the eye, dead serious, and tell her, "Yeah, don't talk to me like that in public." Neutral/friendly voice tone, but dead serious facial expression, laser-locked eye contact. Then side-break eye contact and back to whatever you were doing. You give her the instruction, let her know you mean it, then return to whatever. I've never had a girlfriend try to continue the disrespect past that, but every time it happened I was 100% prepared to dump her right there in public in front of everyone if she continued. I personally consider public disrespect one of those inviolable lines you just do not cross. I don't do it to other people; I can't control other people, but I can control who's a part of my life. And if that is something someone wants to do, she can do it to someone else. I don't need it.

That's just me though.

Chase

h2orocks4001's picture

Each girlfriend I’ve ever had, 

i haave adhd for record, and can be a tad scattered here and there.  

Eventually they all have a moment where they get annoyed and a little nagging with me.  And I wiremen ER my reaction the first time it happens too.   I was raised in an emotionally abusive house too, and nagging was absolute constant with criticism.  If anything I take a deep breath, I pause and in a very calculated way go up to them, lookk them in the eye, and give them a hug. 

May this point, I explain in a very soft voice.

hun, if I screw anything up ever, and you have a problem, I will always hear you out and make an effort to fix it. I just ask you do so by approaching me with a positive regard because you will find I will do so much more if done in that way.    

But the way I just heard you talk to me reminds me of how my mother used to talk to me every single day of my life, and if I ever hear you do that again, I walk. 

So I will always listen, will always validate your feelings, but I will not take that way of speaking to me ever.

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