Each girlfriend I’ve ever had,
i haave adhd for record, and can be a tad scattered here and there.
Eventually they all have a moment where they get annoyed and a little nagging with me. And I wiremen ER my reaction the first time it happens too. I was raised in an emotionally abusive house too, and nagging was absolute constant with criticism. If anything I take a deep breath, I pause and in a very calculated way go up to them, lookk them in the eye, and give them a hug.
May this point, I explain in a very soft voice.
hun, if I screw anything up ever, and you have a problem, I will always hear you out and make an effort to fix it. I just ask you do so by approaching me with a positive regard because you will find I will do so much more if done in that way.
But the way I just heard you talk to me reminds me of how my mother used to talk to me every single day of my life, and if I ever hear you do that again, I walk.
So I will always listen, will always validate your feelings, but I will not take that way of speaking to me ever.