End Relationship Drama with These 2 Rules | Girls Chase

End Relationship Drama with These 2 Rules

Chase Amante

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relationship dramaHave you ever noticed how women sometimes launch into relationship drama, picking a fight for no logical reason at all… and how even their arguments themselves are completely devoid of logic? Or how women sometimes try to boss you around, just to see how much they can get away with?

And with 80% of guys, a woman can get away with a LOT… until she completely owns him and walks all over his dignity. Yet he’s grateful - hey, at least he has a real girlfriend that is not made of rubber! (Grab one of our programs, of course, and you won’t have that problem).

But why do women do this? What’s the deal with women and drama? We all know they don’t want a weak guy… so why are they undermining his strength and masculinity? And what’s the best way to deal with it?

You may have read on our blog before that women test men because they NEED to make sure their man is strong – so that’s one reason why they put his masculinity to the fire. But if you give a girl too much rope, she’ll hang you with it.

Another reason for drama, however, is one of the more insidious tricks of Mother Nature… women also need to gain a certain amount of relationship control over their men. If she’s not in charge, he might leave once she’s pregnant… she needs to be sure that she can access his resources, both for herself and for their offspring.

If she starts to hold TOO much control in the situation though, she will see that you’re not strong enough and lose all interest in you. On the other hand, if you hold too much control, you will probably lose interest in her – that’s the essence of the passion trap.

The secret is to strike the right balance… and to do that, you will sometimes have to disarm one of her tests.

Ricardus DominoAbout the Author: Ricardus Domino

Ricardus was one of the most prolific and respected coaches in the men’s dating advice industry. He’s dated some of the planet’s most beautiful women, ranging from a Miss World contestant, to a model for Coca-Cola, to one of “Brazil’s Next Top Models.” His specialty is daytime street stops. He is most remembered for his “Are you single?” opening line. Ricardus is currently retired from the dating advice industry.

Comments

Ricochet's picture

Hey Chase,

I have a girlfriend with which I live together since 6 months now already.
She is a beautiful (yet inexperienced) and very strong girl and considering the things we went through, probably cares about me.

She has a lot of bad habits because of many factors.
She is sometimes rude and disrespectful - the same she is with her family, with me she is SUPER affectionate and caring, yet she IS rude and disrespectful from time to time.
For eg, she takes/using something of mine without asking, gives orders, is egotistic, stubborn etc.

My way of trying to get rid of these habits is to be calm but strong and tell her about what the problem is and why she should stop it.
Problem is, her reactions are the same every time
- she denies everything
- she reframes everything like it's wrong and weird from me to be upset about such issues
- she keeps saying that she can do this for me but this will alter her personality (she DID change a lot, but looks fake sometimes)
- finally, she enters a short (10min - 1 hour) but strong sadness state, sometimes cries and says that I can't see how much she loves me etc (she DOES a lot of things for me, more than all of my past girlfriends...)
- when I see her in that state, I try to reconciliate and reframe things, basically I end up for apologizing for upsetting her
Most of the times she understood and DID change, but I feel I have the wrong approach. There is too much pain involved.

Do you have any advice for me, about how to improve my way of comunicating her faults to her?

Anonymous's picture

If the girl values everything you do for her (the lover, friend, provider from another of Chase's articles, that you need to be), they will want to stop having their "attitude" or "hissyfit". As long as you are not disrespectful to them, you say "I would not do this to you. If you want to go on doing this to me, I will not stay with you." and mean it. Tell them they must conform to the golden rule - only do to you what they would want done to them. Cancel dates, move out if living with her. No woman has the right to treat you like a doormat. She will respect that and if she really loves you (and she may realize she loves you more at the thought of losing you and that you are strong and won't put up with disrespect), she will stop. If she doesn't love you, she won't cry for you to come back and she definitely won't stop her B.S., so you are the better for finding that out.

Bob's picture

This belief that you can get a woman to completely stop with the drama based on the idea that she would stop if she loved you doesn't work.  No matter how much she loves and respects you, she will always create drama whether it be for a good, bad, or no reason at all.  I personally think they don't have much control over this as it's innate to them.  So you either accept this and learn to deal with it in the right way (see article above) or you continue to expect her to change when she will not which will create problems in your relationship.

Oniovo Lee's picture

My 24 year old girlfriend is the surgeon general and royal queen of drama. We love each other though but her drama will soon tear our relationship apart.

You can buy her the whole world, you can buy her what her 6months earnings won't be able to afford, and rather than say "thanks for the gift", she would criticise what you have gotten her instead. She would express disappointment claiming that should would have preferred some different.

Simply put, she doesn't appreciate what I do for her, even when she knows she can't afford it. She is also very disrespectful. If I say the right stuff 95percent of the time and say only 5percent wrong stuff, she would base the entire conversation on the 5 percent that I said wrong and not the 95percent that I said right. I spend hours on the phone with her leaving me with skyrocketing bills but she has never spent a dime on phone bills calling me yet she is quick to disconnect my calls whenever I say something that doesn't please her.

It seems that it is only when I play along with her foolish demands and ways that the relationship experiences peace.

I think women should wake up and stop the drama, at the end of the day it doesn't make a man a better man! a good man is made better if his woman can learn to love, appreciate and respect him. That's the message that should be sent out there to women, they should love, appreciate and respect men.

Jimbo's picture

Why would she stop the drama if you keep giving her everything she wants every time? It's obviously serving her well. Here's a phrase to keep in mind: incentives matter!

Anonymous's picture

Dude do you feel , like its always push pull ? Can she truly never compromise. Are you crossing the battle grounds. Do you clean up her mess all the time ? Sounds like a personality disorder. These women are every where. Test her be completely happy . If she is bat shit crazy shell pick a fight quick. Ever notice when its all smooth shit pops off? This article has some truth , yes women test you , not to the extent this article makes out to be okay. There are plenty of good women , who dont start drama to test you. This kind of male exceptence is the problem. If we stopped thinking with our dicks for a minute we would run shit. You really want control ? Your fucked youll never have it. Controls an illusion this writer is a little nutty. Cute girl test is one thing.... You have a bat shit crazy one. Yeah people argue. I have issues with this article because it just states the bullshit neither sex should do to each other ever. Communicate with each other , their wont be drama. No testing takes place , beyond the cute stuff thats within a normal relm. If I can get mad and punch out 5 dudes , then there is no way im putting up with crazy. Guys have emtions to and the writer wants you to believe we are not in touch with them thats just bullshit. I have emtions , most women dont talk more then guys, they make shit up in their heads , and we slip into the sick sad world of most womens shit. I wouldnt be surprised if a women wrote this. I do believe the part of saying , if we dont fight , than its bs or your a wuss, This is basically saying play a fucking game you dont want to play just giving more to the cycle making it worse, until she wins or give in. Fuck that. What has the world become. If your friends with a women or girl first and jump of the social stigma wagon, this crap doesnt happen. And brah kick nut bag to the curb , my guess she has issues keeping a job.

SeriousCat's picture

Here it is in simple form.

My gf has sexually neglected me for a very long time. No matter how much I've brought it up, she still won't make me feel desired.

 

She picks fights with me over every little thing. Things have to be done her way. She questions everything I do, and it forces me to explain what I'm doing.

I can't just do something to help. If it's not her way of doing it, she basically refuses me the offer to help.

 

I want to kick her to the curb. Sick of her.

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