Tactics Tuesdays: How to Approach Girls Who are Eating Alone

Christiano,

Hmm. Well, the problem with a limited number of small venues is you start running into regulars after a while. And all the staff gets to know you. No matter how subtle you try to be, the staff and many of the regulars will notice if you chat up new girls all the time.

So if these are your only real option to meet girls at, you want to get the staff and regulars on your side, and include them in the adventure.

Best way to do this is just be the friendly, social guy they all like. Talk to everybody and be friendly with everybody. Aim should be for everyone to see you as just that outgoing guy who chats up everyone. Then when they see you chat with a new girl they can roll their eyes and smile and go, "Oh boy, there he goes again." And when you talk to them later they can go, "So, how'd it go?"

Aside from that, you can't be much more under-the-radar than sitting near a girl and casually chatting her up. Anyone who's paying attention will notice you're talking to her, and there's not much of a way to get around talking to her (can't pass her notes, for instance. Well, you could, but she'll probably just start talking to you if she likes you). So better to handle staff + regulars proactively, that way you don't have to worry about them objecting whenever they see you make some chitchat with another new girl.

Chase

Dominik-

Got you covered:

Hired Gun Game: 5 Girls on the Job & How to Approach Them

Chase

Lawliet-

In the event you make eye contact from a distance first:

1. Hold it
2. Smile at her
3. After she smiles, slowly glance to the side
4. Start to walk toward her, not looking at her yet (but she knows you mean to talk to her)
5. As you draw near, resume eye contact and flash another smile
6. Open
   

You can also do the "maintain laser-like eye contact all the way over" bit, but you need to balance that with a very strong opener - probably verbally strong, and definitely nonverbally strong.

"Different styles of game for different kinds of girls" - I do not have a list. Most of this stuff is instinctual to me at this point, unless I sit down to seriously analyze how something is done or what the difference is between what this girl responds to and that one does, etc. No lists for anything I haven't analyzed. I'd want to avoid being overly simplistic, in any event... Things that work on one girl can work on another, just sometimes they need tweaks or some things may be more likely to work on one type of girl than they are on another, is all.

As for the playful asshole style... Check out my new post on A2daMIR's approach. That might give you a bit of inspiration - he's basically nothing but straight up playful asshole, 24/7/365.

Chase

WT-

That could be an article in its own right! But some of the most common ones are the guys who repeatedly ask girls out again and again... I always saw that as desperate and viewed it as an ineffectual strategy, but after hearing a few of these stories I decided it must work sometimes.

Girls talking about guys taking them on different kinds of dates... Some of the most surprising to me for a while were girls having guys invite them to their apartments on first dates and curling up with glasses of wine next to a big window or on a couch and just chatting for a few hours, then screwing. Often these would be classy girls and I didn't imagine (when I was younger) they could be had on first dates, and especially not with easy dates like that, just drinking wine and chatting in the guy's apartment. Men using romantic stuff, both subtle and over-the-top, to sleep with girls, like giving the girl a bunch of flowers or taking her some place that had sentimental experience to the guy.

Oana and Andreea both talk about how guys got them in the past in One Date & TDA, some of these ways pretty surprising, so if youend up picking up a copy of that when it goes on sale hopefully late February you'll hear some of those in there as well.

"How to Get a Girlfriend" I aimed to keep as lean and simple as I could while having all the major steps in there. So I didn't include a lot of things like deep diving, chase framing, resistance-handling, etc. Those things are often going to be in there too, but in the interest of not making the article too complicated or too crowded I left them out. Connection is absolutely a staple of mine, though, yes.

As for girls with guys with terrible fundamentals, usually it's social circle. The longer people know each other, the less appearances matter. So it's possible for schlubby guys to get hot girls if they know them socially and have attractive personalities. This was my kryptonite moving from high school into a huge university campus (40,000 students); in high school, I was able to get the hottest girls crazy about me over time through personality alone, even though fundamentals-wise I was pretty bad. Once I got to college and every class had different people and I rarely saw the same girls much, girls all thought I was scary and avoided me. Not until junior year - when I found myself in a bunch of the same classes with the same small set of people - did I find myself with hot girls chasing after me again. Then once I got out into the real world, that disappeared again. At that point, I realized being overweight, wearing baggy clothes and jangly gold jewelry, having a crappy $12 haircut, and mumbling in a monotone voice wasn't going to cut it, so I started to work on fundamentals.

But yeah, if I'd been a little bit more aggressive in high school or college, I could've been one of those guys you'd have looked at and said, "How on Earth is that sloppy-looking dude with that knockout?" Wouldn't happen now because my fundamentals are in order, but there's probably a universe in which chubby Chase figures out enough about girls in college that he never needs to go on his seduction self-improvement journey, and probably stays chubby Chase forever.

Chase

Magenta-

Check out this article:

Meeting Girls in Messy Situations / Friends Around

In particular, skim down to the section titled "The Girl Locked Into a Big Group." Your options in the scenarios you've outlined are the same - either you wait for her to wander off somewhere alone and sneak out to go meet her then, or you weave your way through the group until you're right next to her, build a quick connection, then make a casual exchange of contact info.

If you get into a decent chat with her and the other folks approve of the match (or at least don't disapprove), they typically will not interfere. You and her might both get questions about it later, but if you keep it relaxed enough and you're sociable with everyone else, you'll each be able to play it off as no big deal and meet up later without the social pressure on.

Chase