You wanted to bring her home and have sex with her, but you ended up having another platonic date with no action. Why? It’s because these elements were lacking.
Ever worry so much about your approach anxiety or what to say that when you actually land a date, you have no clue how to turn it into sex?
It’s super common. Usually, you’re waiting for a sign that she’s attracted, a special laugh, compliment, or a submissive, coy gesture. And when it never materializes, you think “Oh, maybe she’s not that into me. I better not be creepy. I better take this slow.”
Contents
II. Always Assume She Would Sleep with You
Of course, this means you go on three dates and never have sex. Lose-lose.
Want to know if she’s down? Assume that ALL WOMEN ARE INTO YOU. They just don’t know it yet.
The reason you fail to close dates? You fear mistakes. What if you say something “weird” or try to touch her, and she freaks out? But you know what? It’s either you take those risks or stay in the friend zone.
When you meet girls from day game, you’ll probably have to go on at least one date. Same-day lays don’t happen very often for most guys. And for most men, you won’t get laid even on the first or second date. By the third or fourth date, you’re solidly slotted as a “friend.”
If you want to get laid fast from a date, you need an effective plan and the right mindset.
In this article, I’ll teach you a basic guideline on how to take a date home and bang her silly.
Have a Plan
I recently went on a date with a client (no, I wasn’t dating him, you twisted little monkey.) We were supposed to grab dinner, and he brought along a girl he’d met the night before, on our bootcamp. I realized he was either intentionally friend-zoning himself, or that he had no idea how to escalate, bring this girl home, and nail her.
He later admitted he was clueless about escalation.
He sat beside her, and I sat across from her. From his side, there was zero:
It was like a man who was having dinner with his boss’s wife.
After dinner, she wanted to tag along for a drink at a bar.
Always Assume She Would Sleep with You
So, we all went to the bar, and, being Tony D., I couldn’t help but show off my charm. I made jokes, told stories, built and broke rapport, and was generally charming. I wanted him to pick up on my lead and make something happen with her. He didn’t get the hint.
After she left for home, he told me he wanted to bang her. I had no idea, honestly. I thought he wasn’t interested in her.
Later on, he asked, “How would I know she’s into me?”
“You met her last night at a club. You spent all day together. She went home, then came back out to meet you for dinner, and now she’s going to a bar again with you. Think about it. Would you spend all that time with a girl you met at a bar if you weren’t interested?”
How do you know she likes you? She's still there and she hasn't expressly stated she doesn't like you.
How to Get Laid from a Date
1. Do You Want to Sleep with Her?
A bow and arrow without a target is just a dead tree and some string.
That was a terrible metaphor.
I mean, indecision is a terrible first impression.
Women are excited by men who desire them. No, not men who chase them; desire them. If he pursues her, it’s because she has a power that creates this desire, and the man is almost fighting to control himself.
At some point, he decides “I want her. She did this to me. I don’t want to be this way, but I can’t help it.” So it’s especially confusing for women when you ask them out, and then slide yourself into the friend zone. “I guess he didn’t want me?” they think.
Indecision is an attraction killer. I’ve had women tell me they lose attraction if a man doesn’t know what he should order for lunch. So if you don’t even know if you want to screw your date, then the whole event is built on a shaky foundation.
How do you know if she wants to sleep with you? It’s hard to tell sometimes. Women will play stoic because they’re not sure yet. But others will let you know: by laughing at your jokes, playing silly games (role-playing), teasing you back, asking personal questions, reciprocating, or submitting to your touch, and actively engaging in conversations about sexuality.
Want to know if your date is really into you? Is she leaving? Is she staring into her phone? Is she looking for a taxi? Then she’s into you. But if you don’t make a move, she won’t be for long.
Women Are Indecisive
Women aren’t always sure, either, but they'll go out on a date anyway to try you out. They’re waiting to be surprised, seduced, and swept away by a charming, decisive, confident man. They want a guy who knows what he wants and how to get it. Or they just want a free dinner.
Now, why would a guy go on a date with a woman he wasn’t sure he wants to sleep with? To avoid loneliness, perhaps. But more likely, he lacks belief in his own attractiveness. He’s unsure of himself, and of her attraction to him. He plays it safe, waiting for “signs” of attraction that never come.
So, make a decision. Do you want to screw her or not? If no, then friend zone her. Let her be your buddy, wing girl, or shoulder to cry on. But if she’s sexy and cool, then decide: YES, I will bang her. Preferably tonight. It’s YOUR JOB to make that happen, not hers. Don’t wait for a sign that never comes.
Assume your attraction is mutual.
She may still be mulling it over, but you're not. If you lead her well, she'll come around.
2. Escalate Both Physically, and Verbally
I had my first date when I was 13. She was the coolest girl in seventh grade from a different school, and for some reason, she liked me. So we went and saw a movie. I sat there watching that film in confusion and terror, my hand gripping the arm of the seat. Then, she slowly did the work for me. She let her arm and her hand gently bump and graze across mine. And finally, I gathered the courage to hold it in mine. That’s as far as I got.
The first time I tried to kiss a girl, I stuttered, “Do you, uhh… can I kiss you?”
“No.”
Then about two weeks later, that girl showed up on my doorstep, deciding she was ready. She just needed to think about it.
It’s been a recurring lesson. Try to touch or kiss a girl, and she turns her cheek. Try again, she submits. Ask a girl out; she says no. Ask again a week later; she says yes. Try to take a girl’s clothes off; she says no. Try again in ten minutes; you’re having hot, steamy sex.
Always try twice, at least.
Physical escalation is all about testing, exploring, with increasing duration and sexual intensity. It can start with a look at the rings on her finger, and end up with you eating her pussy on top of a laundry machine. Without touch, there will be no seduction. For guys who “don’t know what to say,” touch is their savior.
Fear of rejection
What if she thinks I’m a douchebag? What if things move too quickly for her, and I offend her? What if she doesn’t find me attractive and just wants to be friends? How do I know?
With all this fear, insecurity, and doubt, no wonder you’re afraid to put a hand on her knee, her lower back, or go for a kiss.
At some point, you need to go for it. Because by playing it safe, you screw it up. Escalation is attractive.
Expect to be rejected, and then make a comeback.
Almost half the time, a girl is going to refuse your first kiss. She turns her cheek, backs away, or lightly pushes you off. But the second try; that’s the key. Now she’s had time to consider it. “Ohh, he’s a man. He sees me as a woman. He wants to kiss me. Should I kiss him?” This thought process can happen in a few seconds, or over a minute, a week, a year. But at least she knows now that you have a dick.
Verbal Escalation
Not all escalation needs touch. I once initiated a makeout by saying, “I’d totally bang you in the alley… if I weren’t on probation.”
Not so classy, but effective. It plunks the idea like a stone into her mind: “This guy is playful. He’s naughty. He’ll go there if I want.” You want your date to have these thoughts about you. They're good thoughts!
If that’s a bit too advanced, you can say, “I’m trying so hard not to kiss you right now.” I used that one in Thailand last year. She replied, “Why not?” and then I did. Classic.
The key to escalation is the same as approaching: you must face the possibility of rejection. Always assume your date wants you as much as you want her, and more so. Assume she wants you to touch her, to kiss and sleep with her. Assume it’s your job to escalate, and if you don’t, she’s going to leave disappointed, and you’ll never see her again. That’s the real risk.
You try for it, and if she’s not down, she’ll let you know. She may reject your advance, but at least now she respects you for trying.
3. Bold and Risky
The bold and risky move. It could be the moment you pull her in for a makeout, hug her, play with her ass, or tell her “You’re sooo damn sexy.” At some point, you just have to pull the trigger.
To get her back to your apartment, you must ask her.
Or tell her. “My apartment isn’t far from here. Come check it out.”
You can use your collection of cat pictures, a bottle of wine, perhaps. She knows why you want her to come over, and she knows what it means if she agrees. She can always say “No thanks” or “Maybe next time.” But you need to get her there — somewhere with privacy, low lights, and something to hump on (usually a bed).
The bold move is the catalyst, the potential grand rejection: “I’m not that kind of girl.” Even though she is, and has probably done this before. It’s her job to play the innocent princess. It’s your job to be the hunter, the bad boy.
You receive the prize by taking risks, by being bold.
She’ll take your hand off her tit, but is she leaving? Is she calling an Uber? The police? No, she’s still there. She’s still smiling. Then be a little bit more persistent. Try again in ten minutes. Ask again after a cocktail.
4. Blame Her
Whenever things get steamy, I blame it on her.
“Oh man, you have to stop doing this to me.”
“What?” She says.
“You know what you’re doing. Stop it.”
“What!?”
I stuff my tongue back in her mouth, squeeze her thigh. “You know. Oh, we can’t. It’s too much. Stop. Let’s just go to my place and chill. You have to see my collection of mecha anime.”
Let your attraction and your aggressiveness be her fault. Tell her she should leave, she shouldn’t let you touch her, she shouldn’t come over to your place, she should let you kiss her. It’s all her fault.
5. The Pied Piper
The Pied Piper is the flute-playing entertainer who leads the rats and then the children through the streets, out of the city. I use the analogy because when you pull a girl home, you don’t want her conscious mind to analytically sort it out. “Am I actually going to this guy’s house now? What if we have sex? What does it mean? Am I a slut?” No, you play that flute and dance her out of the bar, back to your place.
You keep the hot/cold, push, pull, mixed with interesting, fun, light rapport building, teasing, and general banter. You play that flute. Don’t leave long silences where she can think “Maybe I shouldn’t sleep with this guy. Maybe I shouldn’t go to his house. Do I really like him? What does this all mean?” She’s too busy kissing, dancing, listening to your stories, and laughing at your jokes to consider that she’s about to get nailed.
Remember, women love sex; it just can’t be their fault. “It just happened!”
Stop and make out every few blocks, then break it off, blame her for your arousal: “Oh my god, stop it,” and then carry on. Same if you’re in a cab, on a bus, on a bicycle. As you bring her home, do not leave long silences or make boring small talk. Keep her laughing, happy, and preferably horny.
Follow this pattern: walking to get a cab, make out > break off the make out > talking, driving > hand rubbing thigh > break off >lean away, talking > get out of cab, talking > kiss on the doorstep > bring her inside > talking, music, drinks, couch > touch her breasts, break off, talking > sex.
The dance of the Pied Piper keeps her entertained, occupied, and aroused, straight from the date to the bedroom.
Conclusion
I learned all this from trial and error. That’s how you’ll learn, too. Hopefully, this article will speed things up for both you and her.
Remember, she wants you to TRY. She wants you to be BOLD, brave, and MASCULINE. The man takes risks. The man is the hunter, the spear; she is the target, the receiver of your masculine energy. You have to make sex happen. Maybe she’ll reject your advance, but at least she now respects you for trying, unlike the legions of men who won’t even try.
Tony
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