(2) Intermediate

Hippie and hipster girls might seem a little kooky or out there. But they’re still interested in men, dating, and sex – you just need the right approach.

If there’s any demographic of women I’ve always been good with, it’s hippies and hipsters.

The two categories are quite close to each other, as they’re both non-normative, but they have slightly different ways of demonstrating their alleged non-conformity.

Hippie chicks are more extreme. They tend to travel a lot and rarely have stable jobs, or they often work low-end retail jobs to satisfy the need to socialize without too much work. They can drift for weeks or months on end. They also might eschew normal feminine habits, like wearing makeup, shaving, etc. One hippie chick I slept with, who had both hairy armpits and a full bush, told me her most recent job was making mermaid tails and selling them. She was surprisingly pretty, had a great body, and the sex was very, very nice.

Hipsters are the less-extreme version of hippies. Instead of completely dismissing society, they tend to express their rebelliousness in the following ways:

• Tattoos

• Dyed hair

• Lots of piercings – the bigger and more grotesque, the more rebellious she is (the bull ring is the black belt of a hipster or alternative girl)

• Alternative music

• Active in the EDM (electronic dance music) scene

• Music festivals

• Extreme sexual liberation

• Hang out at “alternative” venues (not super-popular spots)

• More masculine than your average girl (does boxing, MMA, CrossFit, etc.)

• Smoking weed and usually doing lots of party drugs like Molly

None of these traits in particular make a girl “alternative,” but having enough of them makes it very clear she’s trying to express to the world that she doesn’t “abide by its rules.”

The big point here is that she’s trying to be vocal about her rebellion. She wants everyone to know how she feels about the world around her.

What you may notice quickly through experience or contemplation is that they’re not really so different from any other girl; they just have some unique hobbies and characteristics.

In the end, however, they’re still girls.

And they like men, even men who are not anything like them – sometimes, especially if they’re not like them – since many of the men in their cliques can be quite effeminate and submissive because of their ideologies, though that can be said of most men in most social circles.

I think the biggest factor that keeps guys from sleeping with pretty and hot hippies and hipsters is simply that they don’t hang out where these women do. And I assume that if they do come in contact with these wild creatures, they tend to auto-reject these women because they’re from vastly different worlds.

Some people say relationships are about compromise.

I say that it can oftentimes kill her attraction for you and rob you of a satisfying relationship. The simple question is "Why would anyone compromise their desires for another person?"

Women have a lot of very high standards. They just don’t always stick to those standards, is all. In fact, they usually abandon a lot of them.

I had a funny insight recently. Well, more a new way to look at something I already was aware of, but the new way of looking at it instantly made me go, “Ah, that’s how it is, yes.”

I started writing an article about girlfriend retention earlier. I got about a third of the way into it, got pulled away from it, and don’t really feel like going back to it right now. Then I started writing one on hooking up with girls who are horny when you’re not the most attractive guy in the room, but went on a big tangent and kind of lost my train of thought so shelved that one for now too (lost trains of thought happen sometimes when you write).

Anyway, in the ‘keeping a girlfriend’ one, I embedded a YouTube video of a hit 1970s soul song where the female singer talks about trying to hang onto a broke male partner she feeds and clothes and houses and whom she discovers is having an affair. It’s a great song (the single sold a million copies in its first eight weeks), and people love it... but the YouTube comment section is filled with women proclaiming how they would never tolerate a man straying on them and how the singer needs to find herself a new man.

And I thought “It is so funny how women do that.” Because I have had numerous girlfriends – beautiful, intelligent, charismatic girlfriends, with no shortage of male suitors and no lack of self awareness – declare to me they would never tolerate a man seeing other women while with them, even as they knew I saw other women while with them. I have watched these same women tell other women no woman should tolerate this and that any woman with such a man ought to leave him. Then come right back to me after these little rants to others, happy as pups.

It’s not just about fidelity. Women do it with many things. There was a poll I came across where someone asked Japanese women what they’d like to change about their man. 40% of women said a bit more muscle, 25% of women said more wealth, and another 25% said they wanted more personality. One male commenter on the poll results remarked “So just get muscular, be rich, and have a great personality. Easy!” (that’s sarcasm, in case you didn’t catch it). Another commenter remarked that the problem women face is all the ripped, rich guys with great personalities are gay.

And it’s true (the standards disconnect, not the gay thing. Although that is kind of true too)! If you ask most men what they want in a girlfriend, you’ll get a couple of items. Cute, nice, submissive, can cook and clean. That’s about what most guys want. Maybe one or two other things, like likes to dress sexy or is into this or that leisure activity. Many women have full-on wish lists of 30 to 70 qualities they want a man to have. Yet, again – reality doesn’t match women’s words. Look at the guys these girls with huge long lists of things they want date, and you discover their actual real world partners don’t have most of what these women say they want.

So why do women say they want all these things, and then turn around and date men who don’t have any of them? And then they keep saying they want those things anyway, in spite of their dating histories to the contrary?

Are women just nuts?

When girls tease, go off topic, get distracted, or turn mean, a takeaway may be in order. But the key to these is calibration: not too much, not too little.

We’ve talked a lot about takeaways lately on Girls Chase. Alek has posted a few recent articles on “hit and run” in bars and nightclubs (where you talk to a girl for a bit, leave, and come back later). And in Monday’s article on handling disrespect, Hector made ample use of the full suite of available takeaways.

A takeaway is any behavior you use to remove your attention, interest, or even outright presence away from a woman. It can be an effective way to snap women to attention, to increase your scarcity (and thus, the urgency of hooking up with you), and to differentiate yourself from other men (many of whom cling onto any woman who talks to them like burs as soon as she gives them her attention, and would never leave or withdraw attention until they’d totally given up). Takeaways also let you fractionate your courtships, and are a powerful way to inspire women to chase you and do more of the work in the courtship.

You’ve felt the power of takeaways plenty of times before yourself. A girl you talk with shrugs her eyebrows and seems disinterested. A girl you are with suddenly shifts from warm and open with you to frowning and telling you she doesn’t think you and her are very much alike. Another girl you were flirting with suddenly tells you “I have to run – I’ll catch you later!” and darts off. All these are takeaways... though some of them (like when she seems disinterested) are lighter and more implied, while others (like when she darts off) are stronger and more demonstrative.

We’ll look at the different types of takeaways you can use in this article. Then we’ll talk about some times to use them, as well as some times not to use them.

Advanced disrespect-handling tech: if she goes too far, show your displeasure – and get her to chase after you to make it right.

Welcome back to Part 5 of this series.

If you have not read them yet, read Parts 1 through 4 here:

• Part 1: Self Is Everything
• Part 2: 3 Myths of Pride
• Part 3: What Is Disrespectful Behavior?
• Part 4: Direct and Indirect Disrespect
  

Onto the topic of Part 5: using auto-rejection to make girls chase you.

Hopefully, you don’t get to this point.

It’s much better if, after reading the previous articles in this series, you stomp out disrespectful behavior before it gets big enough that you have to auto-reject.

The best way to get out of a choke hold is to not get caught in one.

But sometimes, shit happens, and you end up in a choke hold.

Popularity is achievable for almost anyone willing to make a few changes. Warmth, behaving as-if, and the Golden Rule of Friendship are 3 parts of it.

My friends nowadays never believe me when I tell them this, but when I was much younger, I had issues with making friends and getting women to like me.

I have a hard time believing it myself sometimes. All those memories seem like a distant nightmare, from days sitting alone in stalls eating lunch, to desperately trying to make friends – just to be scoffed at. From my clumsy attempts to talk to women, to finding only laughter where all I wanted was love.

Today, things are a lot different. If you were to talk to anyone in my native city of Las Vegas or mention my name on the strip, a good one in twenty locals will have heard about me – and possibly even talked to me. I have my choice of women, and more friends than I can keep up with. My social life is almost a job in and of itself.

And it doesn’t end there. Not only did I take the time to build a social circle in my home town, I also have the ability to use my status in a club full of strangers.

But what did I do to change? How did I go from being a shy guy to a loudmouth with a silver tongue?

My journey was a long one. It took many years to refine myself and get a direction. But with enough time and effort, I got to where I wanted to be. When I look back on it all, I know that if I had the tips I am about to give you, I could have more than halved the time it took to get to this point.

Not all tests are subtle. Sometimes women break out the big guns. But what do you do when she hits you with a test aimed right at your core?

In today’s Tactics Tuesdays post, we talk about a very specific kind of test. These are what I call ‘core tests’; they test a man at his core, aimed at what a woman dubs likely to be a core issue to a man’s strength or identity. A core test revolves around money, leadership, sexual prowess, and other areas most men pride themselves on strength in.

This is Part I of a 2-parter on core tests. Part I deals with core tests in pickups and on dates.

Women will use core tests on you at any stage of interaction with them. They will use them with you during the courtship. They’ll use them on dates. They’ll core test you in the bedroom as you escalate to sex. They’ll core test you early on into a sexual relationship, half a year into your relationship, or ten years into marriage. Core tests are the most dangerous tests women will use on you – yet they also present the greatest opportunity to set massively powerful frames.

We’ll talk about how to spot a core test, why core tests carry so much force to shake most men so easily, and how to shrug core tests off in a way that will not only make women’s respect for you shoot through the ceiling, but will help you yourself cement your own identity as an unshakeable man.

Core tests serve as a reliable way to show women around you a kind of dynamic confidence most men don’t know how to summon up. And in this way, they can be quite useful to encounter.