Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad | Girls Chase

Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Opening Cheatsheet: How Approach Her (What to Do & Say)

Alek Rolstad's picture
opening cheatsheetIt’s easy to fall off your opening game when you’re rusty at meeting girls. Use this cheat sheet to tighten up your opening and start new conversations with ease.

Hey guys, and welcome back!

After finishing up my post on how to get out of bad momentum, I promised you a few cheat sheets to help in the early game, as that’s usually the part of your game that will take the biggest hit when you are at low momentum.

It’s because the opening game is the phase that feels the most uncomfortable since you have to go up to a stranger and face potential rejection. When you have low momentum, your confidence is lower, making the process more emotionally painful.

Also, your vibe is a bit off when you have low momentum, making the opening phase harder.

If you are interested in the symptoms of low momentum, check out my post from a few weeks ago for detailed explanations.

I also wrote a post on how to “treat” low momentum. If you are experiencing low momentum, I highly recommend you check out that post.

This post expands on that. If you’ve read my earlier post on treating low momentum, you may remember that you should break down your game and fix every small detail until things start working again. You should also limit your game plan to the strict minimum, only adding to it if the current plan is not working or if you sense something is missing.

A slight exception applies to opening and hooking. You should put more effort and brainpower into working on these aspects of pick-up and seduction when you experience low momentum because they take the biggest hit.

This is why I made a post on pre-opening game. That information will work in synergy with this. To be clear, it is not a necessity to use pre-opening game, but it increases your odds of successfully opening and makes opening mentally easier.

The advice I will give here will mostly consist of tips on bettering your opening game — nothing overly fancy.

Pre-Opening Cheatsheet: Use These Before You Approach Her

Alek Rolstad's picture
pre-opening cheat sheetDo a few things right before you approach a new girl, and you raise the odds your approach succeeds. Spot invitations, create invitations, screen, build micro-momentum, and more.

Hey guys and welcome back!

Last week I gave you my step-by-step guide on how to get back in shape, game-wise, and you learned how to get out of bad momentum.

This post links to last week’s topic. We will provide a checklist of tips and tricks to improve your opening game, focusing on pre-opening. Next week, we will cover opening.

Why does this subject link to last week’s post? The part of your game that takes the “biggest hit” when facing low momentum is your opening and hook game. (I am considering making a checklist of tips and tricks for good hook game as well). Opening hook game is the most vibe-dependent. The energy you communicate is paramount during the opening and hook.

Once you’ve passed the hook phase, it’s more about what you say and how you respond to her hoops and overall strategic calls. You’ll feel more comfortable interacting with the girl when you move past the opening and hook phase. So, despite your lower momentum, you will feel a better overall flow in the interaction.

This is not to say that you won’t feel rusty in other parts of your game. Your weaker awareness may impair your strategic choices because you have less playing room. It’s due to lower compliance from girls because of your low momentum (which affects your presence and vibe).

Now, you may be on high momentum and rocking it and just want to recap or improve your pre-opening skills. Then this post is for you.

Good pre-opening is crucial. It has direct and impactful spill-over effects on your opening game. We can’t discuss tight opening game without discussing pre-opening — you can skip it, but moving forward will be harder, on a psychological and practical level.

Maybe you are a beginner or an intermediate guy who happens to have opening as one of your sticking points. This post is also for you.

Most advice here is primarily for night game settings and bars. However, you can apply some concepts to day game with a few tweaks.

Let’s jump right in!

How to Get Out of Bad Momentum in Meeting New Women

Alek Rolstad's picture
bad momentum picking up girlsWhen your momentum meeting girls is lacking, your motivation will be down, and your effectiveness won’t be as high. How do you get out of that and back to high momentum again?

Hey guys, and welcome back!

This post is about getting back in shape and re-establishing high momentum meeting girls. But this post may also be useful to new players who are starting out and need a plan to proceed on their journey. This post is suited for players of all levels: beginners and pros alike. Yes, pros too! Since they also experience bad momentum at times.

Last time, we discussed the subject of low momentum. Many of you are experiencing low momentum, or rustiness, as a result of the pandemic. You may feel a bit down, a feeling that you have lost your mojo and that your “glory days” have passed. This is typical low momentum thinking, and it can be frustrating. However, we all experience low momentum at times. You can say the same about high momentum — when you feel like a living sex god and have “that vibe” that just sucks women in.

It is a pendulum effect. Sometimes you will be on the side of bad momentum; sometimes you will have good momentum.

It happens to us all: normal people and pro-seducers. It happens to me; it happens to you.

Low momentum can be frustrating, and many start feeling like “this is it” and give up. Last week’s post was motivational. We gave you reasons for not getting carried away by negative momentum and why you should put yourself together, work harder, and get out of that bad spot. It’s the period of low momentum when you learn the most and grow as a seducer.

After reading this post, you’ll see why.

You need to break down your game, focus on fundamentals, reinforce them, and fix all underlying issues.

Then you will grow stronger.

Today’s post is a step-by-step guide on how to swing back into high momentum.

Fixing (and Using) Low Momentum in Seduction

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low pickup momentumAt times you’ll have low momentum in meeting, dating, and picking up girls. What can you learn during low momentum periods – and how do you get out of them?

Foreword: This post was written in 2021 during the COVID-19 pandemic. The advice offered here is universally valid, although the introduction mentions the current context. If you happen to read this post later, you may skip or skim the introduction.

Hey guys, and welcome back!

As the nightlife is gradually reopening around the world, many (myself included) are starting to go out again. It can be difficult to get back “in field” and go out and meet girls again. We’ve been deprived of social interactions for so long... Many were locked up in our flats, not being allowed to socialize!

Obviously, it’s taken a toll on our skill and momentum. We feel a bit off, uncomfortable, unsmooth, and we probably are. The advice surrounding negative macro-momentum still applies. It is natural, and you shouldn’t take it personally. Momentum goes up and down, and feeling bad about being in low momentum will only make it worse. Just accept that you may be in a rough spot (back in June 2021, I was too), and plow your way back to former glory! It took me a month; it may take longer for you.

One thing takes a big hit when you’re facing low momentum: your opening and hook game. Strategic choices and escalating the vibe will also be affected, but these happen after you’ve opened and hooked the girl, which means you will feel more comfortable interacting with her. Remember that most social discomfort and “lack of vibe” disappear when you are comfortably hooked into an interaction.

For this reason, I will dedicate one of my following posts (in two weeks or so) to a checklist of good openers so you can use them to practice your opening phase if you struggle with that. You cannot practice other skills (hooking, isolating, escalating) or get laid (unless you get a hail mary) if you can’t open girls.

Post-COVID Nightlife Observations

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post-covid nightlife observationsNightlife has opened up many places again, now that COVID restrictions have lifted. How has women’s nightlife behavior changed – and how’s it remained the same?

Hey guys!

Today’s post is sociological. I’ll share my latest nightlife observations post-COVID-reopening. As I write this in August 2021, many have been desocialized from measures adopted due to the great COVID-19 pandemic.

If you live somewhere where things are not reopening yet, this post will still be useful since it can give you some idea of what to expect when reopening happens.

2 Ways a Girl May Resist You Picking Her Up: ASD vs. FSC

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man trying to kiss womanWomen will resist your pickup attempts for different reasons. One is to avoid looking easy (anti-slut defense)… but another is because you don’t seem like the “right” guy.

Hey guys! Welcome back.

Today I will discuss two different forms of resistance you get from women: anti-slut defense (ASD) and female state control (FSC). I’ll differentiate between both and discuss their connection to frame-related issues while providing suggestions for dealing with each.

I have mentioned both forms of resistance at length in the past and dedicated a long series to female state control. It is a fairly new concept I came up with a few years ago, which generated a paradigm shift in the seduction community’s conception of female resistance.

Anti-slut defense, on the other hand, is an older concept, if still key. Many seducers have also discussed it at length.

I don’t believe that a comparison or differentiation between the two concepts has ever been attempted, with clear indicators allowing us to distinguish them. Understanding each form of resistance and telling them apart is crucial if you want to use the correct remedy efficiently. I propose to do this today.

First, let’s recap both types of resistance.

How to Win Frame Wars

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how to win frame warsYou can’t always avoid a frame war. If you find yourself in one, you’re going to use one of these tactics to come out the winner.

Hey guys and welcome back!

In my last two posts, we discussed frame wars. The first explained what frame wars are (they happen quite frequently, especially in night game). The second post outlined some preventive measures to help you avoid frame war agony since prevention is the best cure.

Frame wars occur when a girl tries to wrestle the meta-frame away from you and switch things from her chasing you back to you chasing her. Whoever holds the frame is considered the prize.

She may try to steal the frame because:

  • Society has programmed her to believe she is the prize

  • When men chase, her ego is satisfied

  • It makes her look good socially and bad if she chases you

But it can also be due to her simply wanting you badly, and the best way to get you (and rightfully so) is to make you chase.

The problem is that the moment you start chasing, you fall into her frame, which means that she will be in charge of the interaction. This goes against her idea of you as a dominant man, which she finds attractive. It also means she will be framed as higher value than you. It is problematic since women tend to fall for higher-value males. Also, you will satisfy her ego, and when she is satisfied, she will have nothing left to gain from you and will be able to comfortably move on, so you will lose her.

In my last post, I suggested that you avoid overusing meta-framing techniques such as:

All are rapport-breaking techniques. What is wrong with rapport-breaking techniques? They push you away from each other when you should be moving closer. The tension caused by meta-framing techniques should be treated merely as a “necessary evil” to boost compliance. The caveat being that it is a double-edged sword, so if overused, it can cause unwanted effects such as auto-rejection or, worse — frame wars.

Rapport-breaking techniques may make her feel undervalued, tooled, and powerless. They represent ego hits, offending her conception of herself as the prize. If pushed to the brink, she may respond by declaring a frame war.

So avoiding the overuse (not use) of meta-framing techniques is a great way to dodge frame wars.

Yet, sometimes frame wars are unavoidable. That’s just the way it is. Maybe you miscalibrated and overused meta-framing techniques when they weren’t warranted. Perhaps that’s the way she is, or something in the context of the interaction triggered it accidentally.

What do you do if you sense a frame war coming? That’s what this post will answer.

How to Avoid Frame Wars

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By: Alek Rolstad

how to avoid frame warsMen often inadvertently spark frame wars with women they’re courting. Ways they do this include over-playing their tactics, failing to make the girl feel special, and more.

Hey guys. Welcome back!

What Is a Frame War?

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By: Alek Rolstad

frame warWhat is a frame war? This phenomenon occurs when someone seeks to seize control of the frame from you and you seek to seize it back.

Hey guys. Welcome back!

Last week we looked at the meta-frame and how to set it. To recap, the meta-frame is the “frame of frames,” a frame that must be respected and set to acquire the benefits from other key frames (social and sexual frames). This is the frame where you are the prize, and she chases you, which must be set and maintained. Every other frame you set must be coherent with the meta-frame.

The meta-frame positions you as the prize, and she chases you. All frame control becomes difficult or nearly impossible without it since the prize has the most power and compliance over the other, so that person will be the dominant one in the interaction.

Dominance is not about being a dick toward other men or acting like an obnoxious bad boy. It involves your ability to set and control the interaction's frames and having people accept them. That’s dominance. And women like dominant men, which means they like men who set and maintain frames.

The meta-frame makes her compliant to you – very compliant if strong enough. Yet something interesting happens sometimes: frame wars.

You are in a frame war when you have the meta-frame (she is chasing you), and the girl wants to turn it around and steal the meta-frame.

A frame war emerges when you both want the other to chase. Wars are always devastating, and the same applies here: it usually generates tons of collateral damage.

Today’s subject is frame wars and their implications. Next week I will discuss how to avoid them and deal with them when they occur.

So, first things first: how do you know when you are in a frame war?

How to Set a Meta-Frame for Successful Seductions

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By: Alek Rolstad

setting the meta-frameFrames are easier to set with the right meta-frame in place. Yet frames feed into the meta-frame to. So how do you set one conducive to success with the women you want?

Hey guys! Welcome back.

Last week we went over meta-frames – what they are and why they are essential. A successful seduction involves the meta-frame to some extent; no two ways around it unless you get lucky, which can also happen.

The meta-frame is “prizability,” the frame where you are the prize and women chase you, instead of the other way around. More importantly, it gives you full control over the frame of the interaction. By default, this will allow you to lead the interaction and come off as dominant (and no, dominance, in this case, is not being the big tough guy who chops wood. We’re talking about social dominance with frame control).

The lack of a meta-frame makes most seductions collapse.

Imagine you want to set a social frame by establishing rapport, and you do so from a frame of neediness (against the meta-frame). You will come off as “try-hard” – trying too hard to get to know her.

Imagine that you are trying to get her to invest in a needy way. That’s a paradox since you’re clearly investing in her and not the other way around.

Now imagine you are trying to set a sexual frame without respect for the meta-frame. You will come off as sexually desperate and perhaps creepy.

You need the meta-frame, or else it all falls apart.

But how is this frame set? That is what we will discuss today.