Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad | Girls Chase
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  2. Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Guide to Choosing the Right Pickup Tactics (Avoid These Pitfalls)

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By: Alek Rolstad

pickup tacticsNot all pickup tactics work for everyone—some even backfire. Learn how to choose the right material for your style and avoid painful mistakes.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Lately, I have been focusing on sex talk topics—mostly practical and advanced material. Starting today, and over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing more posts aimed at beginners and those at the intermediate level to mix things up. Don’t worry if you’re more experienced—these posts can still offer fresh insights that even seasoned guys might find useful.

Even though this post is intended for beginners, it’s highly relevant for intermediates who have field experience with pickup tactics and seduction material, yet seem to struggle, or perhaps the material does not always hit the way it should. You might be using the material you believe in, but it does not work as you had hoped, or not at all. And sometimes, when it does work, it has some unwanted side effects.

There can be many causes behind this, such as timing and calibration, when you fine-tune the material to the girl and the context. Timing and calibration are universal components of pristine game that set experienced players apart from newer guys.

Yet, there may be something else at play—something overarching.

Many guys who join this community, read this blog, and purchase products, are looking for the holy grail. They want to collect the best material, building a powerful stack of tools they (often wrongfully) think is the best for them and their context.

The problem is that they often select a random assortment of material, including tech, tactics, and gambits, and then push it out. After all, it has been field-tested by experienced players, so it should work for a newer guy, right?

Yes, the material may have been tested and proven to succeed, especially if it comes from a credible source. But there are other factors at play. Like beautiful clothes, not all material works equally well for everyone. That high-quality shirt is nice, but it does not fit you. You can tell pretty quickly if something does not work for you—it does not give positive results. For instance, teasing or cocky, funny lines often work famously, and many guys use them successfully. This did not work for me back then and still doesn’t work for me to this day. It does not fit my persona.

Beginner's Guide to Sexual Escalation, Pt. 3: When She Resists

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By: Alek Rolstad

the final hurdleStruggling with resistance when escalating? Learn key principles to handle pushback gracefully: backing off builds the attraction & comfort to get things moving again.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

I’ve dedicated this post to helping newer guys understand what happens when they experience resistance. Of course, more experienced guys can still benefit from this information.

I will continue discussing resistance to escalation from a beginner-friendly perspective, focusing on the fundamentals. My approach is to provide a few key principles, theories, and rules to keep in mind, which should help most men land most girls. It’s important to note that some level of attraction, comfort, and good logistics should already be in place. This should be obvious.

In my last two posts, we’ve discussed how to prevent resistance by focusing on timing and covering whether to escalate slowly or quickly. Prevention is always a better choice.

However, resistance may still occur. I’ll tell you how to tackle it if it happens.

What I am about to share will not help you get an uninterested or uncomfortable girl into bed. The material below will be effective if there is at least a certain amount of compliance. You should have some interest and comfort built, plus a good logistical setting (back at your or her place alone, for instance). There are ways to dodge resistance without having any of these three factors in place: interest, comfort, and logistics, however that’s advanced, and we will not cover it here. Experienced seducers will agree that, if possible, it is always better to escalate if those three premises are in place first.

Let’s recap potential causes of resistance.

Beginner's Guide to Sexual Escalation, Pt. 2: How Soon to Escalate to Sex

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By: Alek Rolstad

how soon to escalate to sexDiscover how soon to escalate to sex without resistance. Learn the perfect timing—too fast or too slow can ruin your chances. Master calibration now!

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today, I’ll continue last week’s discussion on end-game physical escalation for beginners. There may still be valuable insights for intermediates, and let’s face it, even advanced guys can benefit from a refresher.

The goal of this post remains the same as last week’s: to shift the focus away from escalating and breaking through resistance and instead, discuss how to avoid it in the first place. Prevention is the most effective strategy for tackling this. It’s also much less frustrating. After all, who enjoys facing resistance after spending time with a girl you desire?

It’s also a more pleasant strategy because dealing with resistance directly often kills the vibe, and there is plenty of room for mistakes. When you address resistance head-on, it typically sets an unwanted frame of you chasing her—sometimes even desperately—since she is saying no, and you are trying to persuade her to say yes.

Of course, there are ways around this, but they can be tricky. I will share the basics in next week’s post, do not worry. Dealing with resistance head-on will almost always have negative consequences on your frame.

Last week, we discussed whether one should escalate immediately or wait. Framed differently, what are the implications of rushing things, or waiting before escalating “to play is safe”? Both methods can backfire. If you escalate too early, your girl may not be in the right mood or feel comfortable enough, “not ready” yet, thus increasing your chance of facing resistance.

If you wait too long, you may miss an escalation window. She may be ready now, but your window closes. There may be several reasons: her mood changes (see Chase’s fantastic post on cresting, Emotional Cresting: What It Is and How to Use It), or she starts noticing your indecisiveness and perceives you as a “friend” and not a potential sexual partner.

The bottom line: If you try to escalate outside of a window when it closes, you risk facing resistance.

I cannot stress how important this is. This may seem a bit far-fetched to those just starting (and even those who have been around a while), but these effects are powerful. It takes experience to grasp concepts that truly have an impact. That was the case in my journey.

Beginner's Guide to Sexual Escalation, Pt. 1: When to Escalate to Sex

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By: Alek Rolstad

when to escalate to sexIt may not always seem clear when the time to make a move is while relying purely on instinct. Use these frameworks to know when to escalate to sex with a girl & get your timing right.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

This post is dedicated to newer guys, to help them understand what’s going on. More experienced readers may also find value in this post.

I would like to discuss how to escalate to sex, often referred to as “end-game escalation,” from a beginner-friendly perspective. Below, I’ll outline some fundamental principles, theories, and guidelines that can help most men land girls, considering all factors. It’s important to establish a level of attraction, comfort, and decent logistics to proceed. This is a crucial first step.

Today, we will cover the theory of escalation.

Most men have an intuitive sense of how to escalate to sex. They begin with a light touch and gradually increase it. Unfortunately, they are often uncalibrated as they do this, which ultimately sparks the girl’s resistance. As a result, many men skip the basics of how to escalate properly. Instead, they interpret her resistance as a natural part of the process and look for “resistance busters” to overcome her objections to sex.

If this sounds like you, read and memorize the next sentence: The best way to deal with resistance is to prevent it from happening in the first place. Shortly, we will discuss the theory of escalation, concentrating on when to escalate to sex. Next week, we will address how quickly to escalate to sex. By keeping this in mind, you will be able to escalate smoothly and will likely dodge much resistance. Remember, resistance may still arise, and in a couple of weeks, I will share tips and tricks for managing those situations effectively.

Why am I focusing so much on resistance and objections to moves? The goal of escalation is to advance seduction and avoid resistance. If it occurs, you should learn to deal with it in a smooth way that also respects her boundaries (and consent). Many guys mess up the escalation process because they fear resistance. I will also discuss this below and offer a perspective that helps remove these fears.

What causes resistance? It is typically the result of poor escalation skills, although this is not always the case. Experienced guys who know how to escalate effectively rarely encounter resistance. Top-tier guys face it only about once a year. To satisfy your curiosity, I will provide a long list of potential causes for resistance below. However, I won’t go into detail about how to address each type, as that would be exhaustive, and more suited for upper-intermediates to advanced guys. Instead, I’ll focus on basic, general rules for appropriate escalation so that you can minimize resistance. I will also explain why this approach is preferable.

Can an Average Guy Get Women? The Harsh Truth (And How to Stop Being Average)

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By: Alek Rolstad

can an average guy get womenMost average men fail with women—but you don’t have to. Here’s why ‘average’ kills attraction and how to rise above it.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Occasionally, I participate in online conversations about pickup. Sometimes, beginners ask me basic questions. I typically don’t identify as a coach for beginners, nor do I promote my coaching services to this group. Most of my content is for intermediate and advanced guys. I often find beginning techniques to be dull and repetitive. However, there are times when I feel compelled to answer questions from beginners.

I’ve recently received a familiar question that has been covered extensively in the past. But considering I’ve been discussing more complex sex talk topics lately, I thought why not take a break and write about something more easygoing? Considering the question I am about to answer is one that rarely catches my attention and that I don’t usually bother to think about, you may find this a good review when reading the answer to a perhaps familiar question by a guy who rarely discusses it.

Can an average guy succeed with women?

After all, somehow average guys (and below) get girlfriends. So it must be doable, right?

I usually ignore this question because it is irrelevant to me. It has no direct effect on your skills. Learning theories and applying the techniques is what truly matters. This may be because I am advanced and am taking a more arrogant and dismissive perspective. Well, not today, my friend.

The quick answer to the question is:

No. Average men cannot succeed with women.

So, are you doomed as a beginner? Well, not exactly. The real question is, are you truly average? See what I did there? I reframed the question, and you should learn this too.

Sexual Prizing Gambit: Diachronic Sex

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By: Alek Rolstad

sex doesn't start in bedSex doesn’t begin in the bedroom. It starts long before. That’s what you’ll tell girls in the Diachronic Sex Gambit — and get them imagining themselves in bed with you soon after.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

I have been sharing some gambits about the concept of listing. It is a powerful tool for setting and controlling the frame of a conversation. When talking to a woman, you can use listing by providing several reasons for a particular point, which can help her accept the frame. This technique is straightforward. Advertisements frequently employ listing techniques both online and in television commercials.

The examples I provided in my two latest posts demonstrate how listing works in the field, and I hope the examples in this post will do the same.

Even though listing is intuitive, the hard part is to pull it off correctly, ensuring that each dimension you list seems persuasive and desirable to her.

It’s not really about convincing and being correct, as in political debate. It is about making the girl think, “Damn, he gets it; I like this.” If you use a defensive tone and get into an argumentative state, you have lost the seduction, and the conversation will turn into a debate. If you ever get there, pace and lead her elsewhere and change the subject by fractionating out.

Today, we will go through a gambit using the same template. It has a similar theme to last week, but instead of focusing on sexual comfort, we will focus on arousal and sexual prizing by conveying that you are a good lover with great skills, experience, and knowledge.

Sexual Trust and Comfort Gambit: Diachronic Comfort

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By: Alek Rolstad

diachronic comfort: a sexual comfort gambitYou need trust to get new women into bed. Many men try to build trust once, quickly, and move on. With this gambit, you’ll build deeper trust – over time.

Hey guys. Welcome back. I hope you are all doing well.

Today, I want to share a comfort gambit that utilizes listing, a technique we discussed over the past two weeks (see the rest of my series on using listing during sex talk). We talked about how to use listing as a tool for frame control and addressing potential tests you may receive from women when discussing sex. Last week, I provided examples of how to use this technique to build comfort.

I will continue with what we did last week. I will use listing as the main concept to set the frames of trust and comfort throughout the gambit.

This gambit is called the diachronic sex gambit. Do not be intimidated by the word diachronic. It simply means “through time,” and knowledge of the word is not necessary for using it.

It is an easy gambit to understand and use.

I have many versions, but today, we will focus on one that focuses on building sexual trust and comfort.

Before delving into the gambit, I’d like to expand on the analysis from last week regarding the importance of sexual trust and comfort.

I try to create hybrid gambit posts by covering theory while sharing techniques. This provides a “two in one package” so that you have both theory and tools. However, sex talk is the verbalization of a theory about male-to-female interactions, sexology, and sexual sociology. Thus, my theoretical analysis is not unwarranted. It is essential to understand what goes on behind the technique.

Sexual Comfort Gambit: Listing

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By: Alek Rolstad

sexual comfort is the moveWomen today aren’t worried about being “sluts” — they’re worried about being COMFORTABLE. So how do you get girls sexually comfortable with you? One way is via LISTING.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week, I discussed the concept of frame control and how to use listing as a strategy to tackle tests that may arise when discussing sexual topics. Common questions include: “Why are you telling me this?”, “Why are you talking about sex?” or “Do you always talk about sex?” I explained that providing a list of reasons for why you are saying or doing something can be very effective. Outlining the benefits and explaining why it is generally well-received can help make your perspective (and frame) one she should agree with. This technique is a classic form of persuasion commonly used in sales.

Today, I will expand on this, demonstrating how to apply it in sexual comfort gambits. For an example, see the narrative gambit at Pickup and Seduction Gambit: Narratives and to some extent, the diachronic sex gambit that I will share next week.

Because this concept is intuitive, easy to execute, and, most importantly, highly efficient, I took time to reflect on it and developed some new gambits. These will help better illustrate this technique.

The primary purpose of a gambit has always been to provide an example of how to apply specific techniques via a theme to set frames and elicit emotions. This gambit is no different: you can phrase it however you like, tweak it, and experiment to make it your own.