Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad | Girls Chase
  1. Articles by Author
  2. Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad

Using Sex Talk to Set a Sexual Frame with Women: Basics

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

using sex talk to set sexual framesSex talk has become a popular way to sexualize conversations with girls. But arousal is only a bonus: the real purpose of sex talk is to CONTROL the FRAME!

Hi guys. I hope you are doing well.

Today, I would like to revisit the basics. I have noticed a surge in the popularity of my signature technique, sex talk. While I’ve experienced much success, I’ve realized that some intermediate practitioners have gaps in their theoretical understanding of how it works.

Often, they come across certain gambits and repeat them verbatim. Since these are field-tested often, they are known to yield good results, especially when delivered well and supported by strong fundamentals.

However, we all know that things do not always go as planned. Sometimes, we encounter resistance. Some guys may not fully understand how to handle this. They face tests and may be unsure how to respond. The woman might steer the interaction her way, taking control and leaving the seducer outframed. When this happens, the interaction can quickly fall apart.

I will address these issues in the coming weeks, providing details on how to tackle them. All these issues relate to a single aspect: frame setting and frame control.

It boggles my mind. Historically, this community recognized frame control as essential for every seducer to understand. Everyone discussed its importance. These days, however, I seldom see any discussions about this. Most agree that setting and controlling the frame is crucial. Frame control means establishing rules for the interaction, ultimately allowing one to take charge.

Today, we will discuss how sex talk relates to frame control. Once you understand this, you will not only grasp how sex talk works and why it works, but you will also be better equipped to troubleshoot potential roadblocks and, more importantly, know how to overcome them.

So, let’s dive in. This information may be basic for some and new for others. I recommend that both beginners and experienced seducers read on. Naturally, newer practitioners benefit more, but experienced guys can also gain valuable insights. It is easy to forget that sex talk is a framing technique, and a review of how it works can be helpful. Even veterans like me benefit from occasional refreshers.

I covered this subject in my early days at Girls Chase, How to Use Sex Talk to Set a Sexual Tone and Mood, but this post shows a different angle. Read both if you’d like the best possible understanding.

Verbal Seduction Gambits: "Who Likes Sex More, Men or Women?"

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

sex talk gambits: who likes sex more, men or women?Rope women in with two very different seduction gambits that ask “who likes sex more, men or women?” One of these is bold… but the other is light as air.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Now that we are discussing sex talk, I’d like to share two fun gambits that are both stimulating and light.

These are simple to pull off and have the same theme: Who likes sex more, men or women? However, both gambits are very different. This shows how we can use one theme to set different frames.

Both gambits can set a sexual frame and get the conversation going about sex. Both gambits are easy and fun to use and are good tools for stimulating her mentally and sexually. Despite talking about the same theme, they both serve different purposes. The first gambit is light and not too explicit, so it’s ideal for early game but is still beneficial later. This one can pace her reality and show that you understand her world when it comes to sex. It also frames yourself as nonjudgmental and, more importantly, sets sex-positive frames, which can help you dodge potential resistance later.

The other version is more about sexual prizing. This gambit conveys a great understanding of sex and female sexuality and shows girls that you are sexually experienced and a good lover. It is more explicit, so it may sexually stimulate her. It’s ideal for mid-to-late game, but you may use it earlier if the situation allows and you know what you are doing.

These are not complex gambits. They are simplified to work on most women, whether highly educated or less mature.

I will share two variations; one focuses on the socio-sexual aspects, which is lighter, and the other focuses on female understanding and is more explicit, discussing sex and orgasms.

Using Negativity When Sex Talking to Girls (Can It Work?)

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

negativity that attractsNegativity done right can make for engaging conversation – but it’s also potentially loaded and risks putting women off. Here’s how to use it right.

Hey guys. In the upcoming weeks, I will focus on sex talk. This is my signature technique, which many of our advanced readers appreciate. I will share updated insights along with the latest techniques and tools for calibration.

A poster on the Skilled Seducer Forum mentioned some time ago that he struggles with using sex talk. He seems relatively new to it, and it is not a beginner-friendly technique. There are several interesting factors to consider regarding his question.

Here’s what he says.

None of the Sexual Gambits Work

Whenever I use sex talk, it seems to make girls angry and defensive rather than aroused. This is what I usually do. I need to transition into sex talk somehow, so I use anger:

"You know what REALLY frustrated me a while back? I was arguing with a friend about who has it easier, men or women. And he made me mad because he said women!"

Then I show my prizable traits with more frustrated talk:

"…Women have it way harder! To find a guy who can stimulate you both physically and mentally, who can make you feel safe yet desired...that's difficult! Ugh, I really do hate this!"

I say that non-sarcastically, of course. My thought process: It seems like I’m venting, but, in fact, I’m showing prizable traits.

"And how difficult it is to find a guy who can show desire but also control himself. That is what's terrible about being a woman! You can’t find really good men easily, and I HATE that. I feel sorry for all the women out there.

Some women don’t know what they like or what they want. As you know, to arouse a guy, you touch him in that one place, but to arouse a woman, you touch her everywhere else but there. And women need an experienced guy to show them this. It must be terrible looking for such a guy and always being disappointed, ugh."

So, I vent away, expecting heaps of attraction and arousal. However, women usually respond poorly. They argue with anything I say. Or they say they don’t have an opinion and change the topic.

They seem irritated instead of aroused. Am I doing something wrong, or are all the gambits just bad?

(See None of the Sexual Gambits Work)

Before you jump to the conclusion that the person asking this is a noob or frustrated, which may or may not be true, the fact remains that many of my gambits do play around with some negative emotions, such as:

  • Objectification (discussing sexual objectification of women, then presenting a theory of sexual subjectification)

And these are just a few. They all have a negative underlying connotation. After all, frustration is undesirable, and so is objectification.

The question is straightforward: Does using negativity or referring to negative experiences or states, such as frustration, truly work to transition into sex talk? More specifically, is the OP’s approach successful in practice? And if it is, how do you transition from there?

Stranger Sex vs. Relationship Sex: A Sex Talk Gambit

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

intimacy or impulse?Sex with strangers is different from sex within relationships. The distinction isn’t just academic – it’s useful fuel for a seduction, too.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today, I want to share my perspective on a gambit that has brought me much success.

In mid-2023, veteran poster Tominho on skilledseducer.com shared a sex talk gambit called “Strangers versus Lovers.” This concept highlights the differences between sexual experiences in a relationship and those with a stranger. His take differs from mine, so if you like what you read below, check out his version as well.

I like this gambit because it accomplishes many things, ranging from the obvious: setting a sexual frame.

This gambit also accomplishes these:

  • Connects with her pacing – You show that you understand her point of view regarding sex. (Most women share the point of view presented in this gambit.)

  • Creates comfort – As you discuss comfort, her comfort increases. (I think my version emphasizes comfort more than Tominho’s, which focuses more on arousal by emphasizing the magic of having sex with a mysterious stranger.)

  • Stimulates her – Tominho’s version emphasizes arousal more, but one can spice up the version I present here, and I do that often, too.

More importantly:

  • Sexual prizing occurs – As you share knowledge about sexual subjects (linked to pacing).

  • You increase frame control – This gambit is great at flipping the script and reframing objections women have about casual sex and why they tend to prefer sex in relationships.

Next, I’ll run through the gambit. This gambit is safe to use and suitable for the early game (but also works great in mid-to-late-game). I will also discuss Tominho’s version, which works better as a mid-to-late-game gambit.

Classic Sex Talk Gambit: Sex Is Natural

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

talk past her defensesThis basic sex talk gambit is easy to use – and can melt women’s resistance to sex. The way it works: framing sex as something NATURAL.

Hey, guys.

One of my signature techniques is sex talk. I will discuss this topic extensively in the coming weeks, considering its recent rise in popularity on the skilled seducer’s forum.

Sex talk has long been a recognized technique. I have established a reputation in the seduction community thanks to my experience using it.

Since then, I have written numerous posts on the subject, which I’ve compiled in this thread.

STICKIED: Sex Talk Gambits Compilation (And more)

This thread is, in a way, an homage to the sex talk legacy. I realized that one of the initial sex talk gambits did not show up on this list! Some classics, such as the eight types of orgasms (one of my first) as well the gambits in these articles, 3 Sex Talk Gambits So Bold & Explicit They Arouse Girls Instantly and 3 Sex Gambits: Good/Bad Sex, Sex is Unfair, and the Dark Side (especially the sex is unfair gambit) are there, but one classic that has been well-utilized is missing.

It’s time to remedy that. This gambit can remove resistance. It is from 2009, and I was not a master then, but this basic gambit is easy to pull off, safe, and is still efficient.

For the gambit, you may skip ahead to the section “Sex is Natural Gambit.” However, I recommend not doing so as I will share some interesting ideas and history that I think you will enjoy.

Bad Nights Out: Fixing a Bad Mood from Rejection or Being Unsocial

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

fixing a bad nightSome nights you go out and the night just goes bad. Maybe you got too many rejections. Maybe you’re just being unsocial. Here’s how to get back on track.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today, I want to talk about state control and share valuable tips whenever things are not going how you want. These suggestions can help shift the momentum and get your outing back on track.

This post is primarily for night gamers who frequent bars and clubs, but you may apply these tips to any situation. I emphasize night game because it often relies more on your state, mood, and momentum. However, momentum influences all types of social interactions, with a particular emphasis on night game, especially your micro momentum. This refers to the momentum you experience during a specific outing.

Night game is more of a performance act. You require a great mood to convey better energy and guarantee hooks while benefiting from different strategic openings and options and tackling all the potential wildcards in chaotic environments. Past interactions affect subsequent interactions.

When we consider social proof—when women see you interact with other women, you will realize how this affects future interactions. The opposite is true—when you are not seen with other women and are a lonely wallflower, or worse, viewed when repeatedly rejected, it will sink your future interactions. It kills your good mood and overall vibe and erodes the perception others have of you.

Night interactions are interconnected, though they often include episodic elements that vary depending on the venue and strategy used. Day game tends to be more focused and contained, which presents advantages and disadvantages. It’s easier to change locations and start anew if you face massive rejections. It’s more challenging because you won’t have the benefit of social proof.

Of course, past interactions can affect future interactions in day game, but mostly internally. Your overall mood and state can determine your vibe and, in turn, your overall delivery and success of your interactions. In my experience, these effects are less pronounced than in night game.

When you are at a club, and things start to go downhill, you likely have noticed that interactions usually worsen. You may begin with a poor baseline. After forcing yourself to make a few approaches, things just don’t go your way. Courageous as you are, you move on but notice future interactions do not seem any better—they get worse. You may lose all motivation and stop approaching. The night ends with wandering around and, at best, some half-hearted interactions.

Men get inconsistent results in night game because they slip into the downward spiral of a negative loop as they struggle. Now that you know some mechanisms behind your poor night, we can discuss the solutions.

We can address two key dimensions with solutions: the mental and the social dimensions.

15 Years of Approaching, Pt. 2: Risk-Free vs. High-Risk Approaches

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

high-risk approaches vs. risk-free approachesWhen you approach a woman, should you opt for a risk-free approach that lets you avoid rejection? Or is it better to go for the bold, high-risk, high reward approach instead?

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week, I shared my thoughts on opening and hooking in the early game phase. I compared scripted openings to natural ones and examined whether it’s better to dive in immediately, following the classic three-second rule, or take some time to plan your approach. I discussed when to choose each method and explained why it’s crucial to consider factors likeapproach anxiety, low state, and no social momentum.

Today, I will continue this discussion by sharing details about safer and riskier openers and how to benefit from riskier openers, including direct and sexualized openers, without incurring all the associated risks. We will also consider approach anxiety and calibration with these techniques. Let's get started.

Opening Girls & Hooking Them In: Lessons from 15 Years of Approaching

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

15 years of approachingAfter approaching women for 15 years (and succeeding with many of them), Alek Rolstad shares his biggest takeaways on opening girls & hooking them in.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

In today’s post, I want to freestyle and share my thoughts on opening and hooking. These reflections come from 15 years of night gaming, so they are well-founded.

I will discuss opening, hooking, the three-second rule (whether you should wait before opening or jump into it), and if you should use canned (scripted) openers.

So, keep reading. You will likely learn a few techniques you haven’t thought about.

Mindsets of a Nightlife Seducer: Late Night Game

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

navigating the final stepsHow does a highly skilled playboy mentally navigate the later stages of a night on the town? Come along with Alek Rolstad and see the mindsets of a talented seducer late into the night.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

This post will continue my exploration of strategic decision-making and cognitive process in-field. Like last week, I will present a hypothetical scenario that reveals my mental approach to various situations. I am choosing a hypothetical scenario because it allows me to discuss different outcomes, which I cannot do in a real-life report. It also allows me to create the most challenging setting, providing the best examples. The scenarios I present are inspired by actual events and are snippets of different circumstances I have experienced.

Today, I will discuss taking a girl to my place after extracting her from a club.

This phase is often a tense moment for many. You’ve put in much work and are close to the goal! Things can screw up at the last minute, and that can seem scary. You may become needy, or you may be overly careful. Needy because you really want this to work, or overly careful because you do not want to mess things up. Both stressors are not ideal.

Neediness will kill your chance of success and may upset her or make her feel uncomfortable. If you are too risk-averse, you may miss your window of opportunity and set the wrong frame—now, she views you as a non-sexual male. If the wrong frame continues, she will feel tired and not in the mood. You waited too long.

Next, I will share how I mentally manage these situations.

Mindsets of a Nightlife Seducer: In the Middle of the Night

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

seducer's mindset in the middle of the nightHow does a skilled seducer think about ‘the game’ as his night out progresses? Take a tour through the inner workings of master seducer Alek Rolstad on an example night on the town.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

I am working on a series that explores my inner thoughts, particularly my mindset while in the field and my strategic decision-making. Using examples from a hypothetical scenario, I can discuss both potential and real-life situations. I deliberately create non-ideal scenarios filled with unfortunate circumstances and challenges. This approach lets me provide more effective examples.

Your night out will likely be more enjoyable than this hypothetical outing. That’s why I didn’t include a real outing or typical field report. The focus here is more on my techniques and what occurred, and the circumstances would probably be more favorable in a real situation. However, these hypothetical scenarios are inspired by actual events.

Last week, I discussed the earlier portions of the night, including opening and finding a lead. In last week’s hypothetical scenario, I decided to change venues as my leads in my first venue had dried out. When entering the new venue, I meet a new girl right away. This post covers the hypothetical scenario of mid- to late-game and my strategic decisions. I will also cover the hoops I may face and how I navigate them.