Hit and Run Pickup in Clubs: If at First She Does Not Respond…

Previously I laid out my new strategy of approaching – the “hit-and-run” strategy – which allows you to approach women without facing any strong form of resistance (such as “approach walls” – where women respond negatively to your approach).

To recap, my hit-and-run strategy is based on first approaching a girl with a simple ice breaker, for the primary purpose of “breaking the ice” (as opposed to the primary focus being to build attraction), then leaving (in order to avoid being perceived as a potential “stalker” and instead as a mysterious man while also making her miss your presence).

Here is how this type of approach goes, step by step:

1. Look out for approach invitations (signs of interest). If you get none, it is still wiser to approach anyway.

2. Short approach, often with just a simple “ice breaker” followed by an introduction. Then leave the girl or the group as fast as you can with no explanation given.

3. Do something else. Maybe approach other women?
   

4. Look out for signs of interests – girls you broken the ice with will be curious about you.
   

5. Re-open with something along the lines of “There you are” or simply “Sup?”. You will see that the reception will be much warmer!

That was a recap of the most important aspects covered in my previous post that talked about the hit-and-run strategy. You can read a more in depth analysis of this concept here: “How to Stop a Girl Acting Like a “Bitch” in a Club.”

In this post, we will elaborate further on this concept – as you’ve probably guessed that it can be used for much more than just approaching. We will discuss in depth how this strategy (of “approaching and then leaving” and then hopefully re-approaching later; in other words, the hit-and-run strategy) can be applied to other situations, such as dealing with rejections, handling bigger groups of females (three or more), and handling women’s resistance to sexual advances.

No time to lose, let’s get to it.

Handling the Great Approach Wall

In my previous post I laid out the hit-and-run strategy with the purpose of sharing it as a technique that would minimize potential “approach walls”, with the goal being to bypass the risks of getting a frumpy response when you approach.

So hopefully, with the use of the technique I have shared with you so far, you won’t face any “approach walls” and will instead meet women who are either neutral or positive towards you, instead of negative and frumpy – which is pretty common for men in bar/club settings (even the good looking men!).

However, it is nearly impossible to totally bypass it. Sometimes you will meet a really hot woman and do everything right and yet she is still frumpy and not responding to your approach in a kind way – she might even be really rude to you: “Fuck off you creep, leave me alone”.

Honestly, I would just move on and look out for a better woman (just as hot, yet cooler) – my time is too precious. Yet I can understand that this response may not be satisfying to you. I will not deny that many men like a challenge and really want to try to bed these women. When I was learning the art of seduction, I wanted to push the limits and challenge myself – and hopefully so do you. I believe that challenges are good during the learning process.

Therefore, I will tell you how you can handle these “difficult” and “frumpy” women.

Stay Non-Reactive

Let us start with what you should not do before we proceed to what you should do.

Believe it or not, many men react poorly to approach walls. They either become angry, shocked, or sad. However, my best advice would be to not care about it and basically act as if nothing happened. Remember that, if you don’t react, you don’t acknowledge the situation, and her approach wall becomes “less official”, because you haven’t acknowledged its existence. This way you remove a lot of its power.

When facing walls like this men either react in an angry way: “What’s wrong with you, fucking bitch”; in a sad way: “Why are you being so mad?”; or in a needy way: “Come on girl, are you on your period? You don’t need to be so mean!”.

All these are signs of being reactive – so whatever your response is it will be bad. The first one makes the vibe even more hostile, while second and the third ones put her in the position as the one being chased – and according to our school of thought, this is a bad position to be in.

Don’t react, just behave normally. A confident, strong man does not get affected by “chick tricks”.

Don’t stay in the interaction with her; it will just feed her meanness and give her excuses to keep behaving the way she does – you have now given her a reason, because you are staying even though she told you to go away – which makes you into a “stalkerman”.

Hit-and-Run Strategy Applied

So what do you do? Well, you leave the group. She knows who you are now, so the next time you approach you won’t be a total stranger.

Again, when you leave her (or her group) you should not give a reason for why you are leaving. Otherwise you risk coming across as needy.

Just leave without giving a reason – remember, that can make you come across as mysterious, which is very attractive to women.

Also, keep this in mind: women can put up approach walls because they don’t like you (so it works as a tool for rejecting men they are not interested in) but also because they want to test you or come across as hard to get. In the latter cases, they are most likely interested in you.

Put it this way:

• Women can have approach walls either because they are NOT INTO you (in which case you should move on ASAP) or

• Because they actually are INTO YOU (and in this case you can persist).

Now, you might ask, how do I know whether it’s the former or the latter?

Well, after you’ve left her, keep an eye on her. If she seems curious about you (looking at you or “accidently” being next to you on multiple occasions during the night) you can be pretty sure she is into you. And if she is, you should re-engage.

But how do I actually handle her approach walls? Well, in most cases her walls will disappear because:

• You didn’t fall for her test – you didn’t react to her approach wall, instead you left, and by so doing you reframed the interaction to you being the “chased one”

• You’ve made yourself into a mysterious man

• You have communicated that you aren’t needy (hence not a potential stalker) because you were willing to walk away

Of course, it can happen that you meet a really difficult woman. But in such cases you should reconsider whether the girl is really worth your time.

Let us now talk about how to handle groups, as I believe many struggle with that (I consider it a tricky thing myself!)

Groups

Let us start by stating the obvious: when dealing with groups you not only have to seduce the girl you are interested in, but you also have to befriend the whole group. If you don’t befriend the group they risk being in the way of you ending up with their friend, and your night may result in a hell of a cockblock fest, unless, of course, the group is constituted of only cool girls –and sometimes that’s actually the case!

But there is an issue when it comes to approaching groups: you have to both think about seducing the girl you like while also befriending her friends at the same time.

In other words, you need to be a social man while at the same time a sexual man. However, these two notions do not fit well together.

The Social Man vs. the Sexual Man

This will be somewhat repetitious of what we discussed in my previous post when we analyzed the pros and cons of cold approach and warm approach.

Put it this way: the way you behave will affect how women perceive you, and how they perceive you will determine how they treat you. So if they perceive you as a “social man” –a cool guy who is cool to be around – they might only think of you that way. However, it won’t necessarily make her juices flowing.

While, on the other hand, if she perceives you as a sexual man, she will treat you like one, and hence most likely have sex with you. You see, it’s all about the frame you set.

Now the good thing with being “the social guy” is that you will make her friends accept you, hence reducing the chances of potential future cockblocks. In this case, it is easier to extract the girl away from the group and isolate – which is the goal if you plan to seduce her.

The issue however with setting a “social frame” (by being perceived as a cool “social guy”) is that you get perceived as just “yet another cool dude”. It becomes very hard to frame the interaction into a sexual one and become perceived as a “lover” if you’ve already come across as a “social man”. The frame is set and it will be hard to reframe. And if you try to change it you risk coming across disingenuous.

By being a cool “social dude” it implies that you have entertained and been friendly to her friends. Now, that will make women like you as a friend, but it won’t make them horny. Most on here know that “being nice” has nothing to do with how much you get laid. There are many nice men out there who don’t get laid.

So, let us try being the “sexual man” when we approach the group. Well, that can work if you are lucky (if her friends are really cool and don’t care too much about who she hooks up with). However, it’s still better to just meet a girl who is out alone. But most of the time such approaches can trigger a lot of “cockblocking” from her protective friends, and it can raise the girl you’re trying to seduce’s “anti-slut defence” (the defence mechanism women have again being perceived and labelled as “sluts”), as her friends will be next to her seeing everything. Since her friends are nearby, the girl you are trying to seduce will not allow herself to accept and respond to your sexual intent (as she wants to protect her reputation).

Her friends might also protect her, in the sense that they won’t allow her to behave in a sexual way toward you in order to defend the girl’s (and by extension the group’s) reputation.

So what do we do? Ideally we would be able to befriend the group while still being able to come across as a sexual being when it is time to seduce our target.

The Hit-and-Run Strategy as a Reframe

So what we need to do is be open to the group in a social way at first and then later reframe the interaction into a sexual one so your target can start perceiving you as a potential lover (a sexual being).

The first tip is obviously to not be the “social man” for too long. The interaction between you and your target must, sooner or later, become more sexually loaded. So don’t stick around too long trying to befriend the group.

So how do you reframe the interaction from a “social” one into a “sexual” one?

When you first approach the group, be as social as you can be. Introduce yourself, share a funny story, engage in some small talk, etc., but then leave the group as soon as they have started accepting your presence (i.e., leave when you feel that they think you are a decent guy).

By leaving, you break rapport and you more or less also break the current frame. So when you re-engage later on you can go right in and try to isolate your target. And ideally her friends will let you do so (as they think you are a decent guy).

When isolated, you need to dig deeper and become a sexual man – you need to escalate, flirt sexually, or do some sex talk and lead the interaction further (and closer to the bed).

If you by any chance did not manage to isolate your target, you can always continue befriending the group and then leave again and re-engage later for another attempt. This way, you persist without being needy. Remember to not stay in the interaction with her friends for too long before leaving; you do not want to get stuck in the “cool social guy” frame.

Another tip is that, when you are interacting with your target while her friends are present, try to escalate and show interest non-verbally; try and stay under the radar. This way you can avoid cockblocking attempts from other members of the group.

Let us now discuss our last application of the hit-and-run strategy before we conclude.

Handling Resistance

This section will be rather short because there won’t be much that hasn’t already been discussed in previous sections.

So let us say you face some resistance – for example:

• She doesn’t let you isolate her
• She won’t let you escalate
• She won’t respond to your sex talk
• She doesn’t reciprocate your sexual flirting
• She doesn’t want to leave with you

In cases like these you will have to persist in order to change her mind. But be wary, it is very easy to come across as needy, especially if she senses that you are trying too hard.

And again, like any other “chick trick” (that includes any forms of resistance and tests) you should not be reactive. If you are reactive you will lose, as she will feel that she has power over you and the chase frame will be set, only not in your favor.

One of the many good ways to handle resistance is to use our hit-and-run strategy and break rapport. Remember: breaking rapport is nothing more than a fancy word for saying “leave her” or “cut contact”.

Again, do not give a reason for it; that is reactive and it kills all the mystery – let her wonder why you left, as this can increase her attraction for you and make her chase even more, increasing the chances of you breaking through her resistance.

If you’re lucky she will come running back to you, frustrated because she doesn’t understand why a man isn’t fully under her spell. She will be more attracted than ever and hopefully willing to lower her level of resistance and commit to your desire.

However, if she doesn’t come running back to you, nothing says that you cannot reengage and attempt what you have tried to achieve earlier on again. Hopefully this time around she will be more receptive. At least now you are persisting without coming across as needy – because, last I checked, you were the one leaving her, right?

But keep in mind, even though this technique works fine and is both very easy to understand and pull off, there are some pitfalls.

The first pitfall is that while you’re not around she might hook up with someone else (because you’ve made her horny and then left her and now she needs some “love”, or maybe she would like to make you jealous – remember, women get a kick out of doing that). But, all in all, this hasn’t happened to me that much. Usually I like to use this technique when facing resistance after nothing else has worked. In such situation, it’s a great tool.

Either way, I have spoken enough for today! Let us now recap everything!

Recap

This post covered multiple areas where the hit-and-run strategy can be applied. Here are the scenarios we discussed in this post:

• Handling severe approach walls
• Handling group scenarios
• Handling any form of resistance

The first key thing we have discussed in this post is to not be reactive when a woman pulls a “chick trick” on you (perhaps a heavy approach wall or a resistance to your sexual moves). If you are reactive, you will be perceived as needy. Instead, just act like nothing happened; you do not want to make anything you don’t like official and “real”.

When facing serious approach walls, it can be wise to leave the group and come back later. Chances are, she will be more receptive. You can also do this to handle any form of resistance that a woman gives you.

We then discussed how walking away from a girl or a group is good for reframing interactions. Being the “social man” is indeed very useful in order to befriend your target’s friends so you can avoid their cockblocking attempts. The problem with the social frame however is that you can easily get stuck in it. So in order to get out of that frame (or at least make it easier for you to do so) and turn the interaction into a sexual one (which is crucial if you actually want to seduce a girl) you need to leave the group and re-engage later. By doing so, you will “reset” the initial frame and can set a new one (a sexual one. And you do so by escalating physically, flirting sexually, and talking about sex).

I hope you enjoyed this post.

It is about time we talk about something else. Hopefully our discussion on this hit-and-run strategy has been useful to you.

Until next,
Alek Rolstad

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READ NEXT: Part IV of this series, “Making the Approach: Picking and Choosing Girls to Meet.”