(2) Intermediate | Page 138 | Girls Chase

(2) Intermediate

Intermediates can get dates and are beginning to have some level of social success

Conversation Example

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conversation exampleAn example conversation (and accompanying point-by-point breakdown) with a woman just met, from the bumpy beginning to a bit after reaching the conversation's "hook point."

A few weeks back one of the readers here requested I get up an example of how a typical conversation goes for me with a new woman, and how I engage her. I tried to put a few conversations to paper over the past few weeks, but each of them was less than a great example – either because the girl engaged me a little too aggressively herself to be all that useful to beginning and intermediate guys, or because I knew the girl already through social circle so it wasn't a completely fresh connection, or because there were multiple people involved and I was juggling other men competing for a woman while I built a connection with her.

So rather than post up one of those messy examples, which might be useful in some ways but less-than-useful in others, instead I'll put up a made-up example conversation to show how you can use conversation to engage a girl who's moderately interested. Note that this is all stuff I use with real women and I've structured the girl's response to reflect how women typically respond to these conversational topics.

Take Women to Bed: Successful Physical Escalation

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A week ago one of the readers of this blog, Alex, requested I get a post up on physical escalation and getting on with the seduction once you’ve got a girl back somewhere private. Alex’s comment:

As for inviting her home, I would really love to see a post about transitioning to getting physically when she's at my place. Do you kino a lot before you invite her home or leave it like kissing for the right/better moment when two of you are all alone? Do you do more comfort stuff to make her feel connected and comfortable and then maybe some talking about sex topics to make her a little horny, how do you move closer to her both physically and mentally to have sex with her? How do you proceed and from your experience how much kino is needed before trying to sleep with her? Is it even required? On the other side, if there's no kino compliance before such as careessing, initimate hand holding (you know who puts much emphasis on it), but no problem with for example putting your hand on her lower back when shopping, should I be concerned about it?

All very good questions, Alex. I’ll share with you what I’m doing these days, and what I advise guys to do.

Meeting Women on Buses, Trains, and Airplanes

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how to meet girls on planes, trains, and busesAirports, train stations, and bus stops are fantastic places to meet women - and if you're not using them to meet new girls, you're sorely missing out.

Efficiency in meeting women ought to be the name of the game for you, and there’s no more efficient way to meet women than wherever you happen to run into them. And if you’re on the go a lot, one of the easiest, most convenient places to meet women is however you happen to be going where you go.

I’ve met some incredible women on-the-go. The first fashion model I got together with I met waiting for a train; one of the most passionate, incredible women I had in my life I met boarding an airplane. Planes, trains, and buses are great avenues to meet new women in.

There are a few reasons why these make such great meeting points:

  • Her guard is down. She’s not in super-social mode, doesn’t have her defenses up for dealing with annoying barflies and club guys, and hasn’t been hit on by every passing guy like she is at her favorite party spot. Because her energy level is going to be more normal here than in a nighttime venue, it’s much easier to connect quickly and naturally and avoid much of the extraneous stuff you’ll run into at night.

  • She’s alone, and so are you. That means, you don’t have to mind her friends (or yours); you don’t have to keep an eye on a number of different people’s moods and behavior and actions. You only have to worry about her, and you. She’ll be less conscious without friends monitoring her actions, and more likely to be honest and upfront with you from the beginning.

  • Transit game means high turnover. The more frequently you use transit, the more often you’re going to run into pretty girls on-the-go, and the turnover is quite high. The girl you see today you won’t see tomorrow; someone else will be in her place. The only time you start seeing the same people is if you make the same commute every day at the same exact time; most of the time, even if you’re making the same commute, you’ll have variance in your commute time (maybe one day you board the train at 6:10 PM; maybe another day at 6:13 PM; maybe a third day at 6:04 PM), and so will everyone else. Consequently, you’ll be running into new women over and over – which gives you many new women to meet, and many opportunities to meet them.

  • You have instant social context. “Going anywhere exciting?” That’s really all you need to say to get the conversation started, at a bare minimum. Enough said.

So, great, you want to start doing transit approaches. What do you need to keep in mind as you do them?

Acting With Intent

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act with intentLots of men go out to get women to "like" them, and never push hard or drive toward any concrete objective or end point. But to truly succeed with girls consistently, a man must have intent.

One of the things that stuns me most, when going out with others, is noticing how some of the other men I meet and hang out with approach women.

Many of them, I’ve noticed, approach in a way that is either silly, entertaining, tentative, or half-assed – and women predictably don’t bite on their approach.

And when these men do make it into interactions with women, it’s obvious to a man who can read women that the women typically are simply being polite. Many men I’ve observed in this scenario, oblivious to the facial expressions and body language of the women they were talking to, walk away from a short interaction feeling triumphant, while the women walk away seemingly thinking along the lines of, “That was… different.”

When these men manage to find a woman who’s into them, they then often banter too long, joke too much, and stay in initial conversation too far into the interaction. They never act to move things forward, and eventually things fizzle out.

I call this Acting Without Intent.

Telling Women You're NOT Boyfriend Material

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not boyfriend material

Last weekend I spoke at a gathering of the San Diego pickup community. One of the things I skirted over briefly, due to time constraints, but that guys asked me to spend a little more time on and seemed very interested in hearing about, was on disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend.

Why would any guy trying to get girls want to make girls not want to date him?

Well, in answer to that, the long and short of it is this: women and men have different things to consider when it comes to having sex with someone new. And for women, the question of whether or not she wants a man as a boyfriend can muddy up the picture and make the decision to sleep with a guy quickly not so clear-cut.