It’s the one word that usually means you’re going to have a great night. It’s the word that’s synonymous with new women, new social opportunities, and maybe a hangover the next morning… party.
But have you ever found yourself getting really amped up for a party, only to end up alone, drunk, and disappointedly chatting with your boys about that “hot girl” you definitely should’ve hooked up with?
We’ve all been there. But today I want to rid you of that
frustration. I want to give you the
roadmap to successfully having sex with girls at parties, and waking up
with a smile on your face (hopefully). And I’m going to show you
that it’s really not that hard.
Let’s get to it…
A party has everything you need to have a successful romp in the sheets. It has, in order of importance:
- The logistics
- The women
- The alcohol
- The built in social comfort, with some anonymity
- The music
It’s really all there for you: presented on the shiniest silver platter. Once you understand what’s going on, and how to use it, you can see great levels of success.
Let me share a story of a young boy’s first bumpy, but eye-opening experience down the rabbit hole…
Once upon a time there was a high school sophomore named Colt Williams. Colt was a hopeless romantic. He believed that all women were pristine angels that only fell for nice guys and white knights who took their time and never did anything to make them feel suspicious or uncomfortable.
Colt had only ever made out with a few girls at this point, be he knew things would look up as girls would soon realize how great of a guy he was. For three weeks, he had his eye on a beautiful Indian girl named Niyala. He had talked with her in the hallway – conversations full of laughs and great connection – and he was working his way up to asking her out.
One day, Colt was talking to one of the jocks at school about an upcoming party that weekend.
Jock: Colt, I heard you’re coming to the party at Sam’s house this weekend. I’m finally going to bang Sarah. And you need to bang Niyala!
Colt: Umm… I’m not so sure. Niyala is not that kind of girl, man. I just want to take it slow and make it special.
Jock: Listen to yourself! Shut up and be a man, Colt! Niyala is definitely that kind of girl. She may be a virgin… but not for long. Have you seen that girl at parties? Have you seen any girl at a party? She’s just asking for it.
This conversation with the jock troubled Colt all the way up until the party. That jock had to be wrong. When Colt thought of Niyala, he thought:
- Would only hook up with guys she really cares about
The jock was stupid. Colt forgot about the conversation and happily went to the party a few days later. He texted Niyala on his way there:
“Hey Niyala! Almost there. Excited to see you! Where are you?”
But he got no response. He showed up to the party, and the first thing he saw was Niyala being carried around in jeans and only her bra by some shirtless drunk guy. Colt’s spirits and energy fell to the floor.
Just as he was about to turn around and go home, though, his funk was pierced. “Hey there!” he heard from across the room. Some cute girl was approaching him.
Her: Hey! You look lost! My name is Eliza. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before, but I like your hat! Welcome!
Colt: Thanks… I’m Colt. Nice to meet you.
After a few minutes of exchanging basic information and idle chat, Eliza said…
Her: Well Colt, you seem like a cool guy! I was gonna sit on the back porch for a while. Wanna join?
Her: Great. And let’s bring a blanket; it’s cold out there!
Eliza took Colt’s hand and led him through the party. As he walked
around, he saw half-naked bodies sloppily sliding against each other on
couches, against walls, and even on the kitchen counter. He would never
forget what he saw during that sparse 20 seconds.
Women are More Promiscuous at Parties
Take any typical, socially calm girl, throw her in an environment of hedonism and booze, and she’ll go a little wild. Basically:
Typical Girl + Alcohol + Music + Other Drunk Girls + Safe Environment + Place to Sleep = Wild Party Girl
And the wild party girl doesn’t have to have the worries or restraints of her normal alter ego. Why?
What do women think about when they deal with guys in general? This:
Social Reputation. If you or any other person threatens a girl’s social reputation, she will not hesitate to throw you under the bus. She will do so with extreme prejudice. But, a party lowers this risk because everyone is acting wild. It’s a massive melting pot. It’s basic social contagion. Everyone is jumping around and screaming and kissing, so unless you do something really dumb or make a girl look bad, she doesn’t really have to be too concerned about her social reputation.
Plausible Deniability. Any man who’s been in the seduction world for even a minute knows that you need to give a girl plausible deniability to take her to bed. “Oh, I dunno, he just invited me back to play cribbage… and it kinda just happened.” These are actual words a girl has told her friends after I invited her back to my room “to play cribbage,” which we actually did! For about 10 minutes. The party has THE NUMBER ONE EXCUSE WOMEN LOVE: “I was really drunk!” Was she really drunk? Probably. Possibly. Potentially. But regardless, it gives her an easy out to make a decision that she would willingly make, but be judged for under normal circumstances: sleeping with dominant men.
Sticking with the Girls. She has to make sure than Lauren, Alana and Gabrielle are okay all night. That means cockblocking if necessary. But if a girl is at a party, it’s usually an environment that she at least somewhat trusts (otherwise she wouldn’t be there), and she knows that they are likely to be there all night, so she is usually much more relaxed on the trooper front unless her friends are fall-down drunk. She is also more focused on getting hers as well.
And because she has none of the other factors to worry about, she can be a lot more forward and reveal her true nature…
* * *
Eliza stumbled slightly as she led Colt to the back porch. When they got outside, they sat down on the bench and started discussing the deep points of life in high school. When Colt was making his point about how adults couldn’t possibly understand the difficult life of teenagers, he felt Eliza’s hand begin to massage his thigh.
Suddenly Colt remembered the conversation he had with the jock. He couldn’t be right… could he? Maybe most girls did want to hook up at parties. He slowly pulled Eliza in and began kissing her. After a few intense minutes, she climbed on top of him and they enjoyed a passionate period under the stars.
As he made his way back inside – lighter on his feet – he bumped into a shirtless girl that he hadn’t noticed. When she turned toward him, he was gazing into a very familiar set of eyes.
Her: Colt, I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Where have you been?
He couldn’t quite remember why he had been so upset before.
Colt: Oh you know… just around. How’s it going?
Her: Okay I guess… I was playing strip beer pong. It got kinda crazy. But I’ve been waiting for you.
Colt felt unusually disinterested in the situation.
Colt: Oh really? Cool.
Her: Can I tell you a secret?
Her: I… think you’re really cute. And I was wondering if it would be weird to kiss you?
There she was… the girl he had been pining over for weeks. No shirt on, asking if she could kiss him. He soon found himself in some random master bedroom, and proved that the jock was right all along.
Over the course of my life, I’ve had quite a few moments where I thought “this man who knows much more about women and tried to warn me was right all along.” And the conversation I had with this jock was one of the first times I thought this. The jocks were the players of my high school (not surprising) so I had many a shocking (at the time) conversation with them.
Over the years I came to develop a system of getting in the right zone, and doing well for myself in terms of getting girls at parties. And a lot of these hook ups came at a time when I was still a nice guy and overly concerned with being liked. So that’s how you know it’s pretty easy.
How to Get Party Sex
In order to streamline and simplify the process of getting to a roll
in the hay as quickly and reliably as possible at parties, I’ve broken
the big picture down into eight (8) separate steps you can easily
Step 1: Get Yourself Prepared Beforehand
I cannot stress this enough. I harken back to this whenever I write a how-to about anything. If you want to be successful, you have to prepare yourself for success. That means:
- Dress well
- Put your head and facial hair on lock
- Exercise during the day to get your energy and endorphins going
- Talk to anyone and everyone all day.
Step 2: Find a Party and Go
I shouldn’t even have to include this, but I have known WAY too many guys who tell me how they want to party more or meet more people at parties.
And then when the time comes they make up some weak excuse, or just drop by for a few minutes and then make some weak excuse.
It’s really true that 90% of life is just showing up. So, show up to the party.
Step 3: Make an Entrance
I know guys who sometimes walk around and give people high fives when they walk in; some just say hi to people nearest the door. I usually like to be a bit more innocuous and show off some dance moves so that I have people looking at me and thinking about approaching. Regardless of whether or not they actually do, my momentum has already started.
Step 4: Scope the Place Out
As you get there, walk around the party. This gives you a great opportunity to meet people and to see what the most fun parts of event are. Is there a dance area? Great. Are people chilling in a hot tub? Wonderful opportunity. Are there plenty of bedrooms and closets that are easily accessible? Fantastic.
Knowing all of these places will serve you greatly when you inevitably get drunker and are in “go mode” for closing the deal with a girl.
Step 5: Approach
The thing about parties is that they are designed for random people to meet each other. So when, you approach a girl and you have positive energy and good fundamentals, you can say anything to her and you will almost never get blown out. A party is by far the most forgiving environment in this regard. You can compliment her on what she’s wearing. You can ask her where the most fun area is. You can use the Colt Williams go-to line: “Hey. I promised myself I’d meet three great people tonight. What’s your name?”
Once you start chatting her up, go through the normal progressions, but don’t deep dive too much. At a party, when a girl is drunk and looking to let loose, she wants to connect with you, but she’s usually not assessing you as a boyfriend. She only needs to be comfortable enough to take you as a lover.
So, after a few minutes…
Step 6: Move Her and Do Something Fun
Most guys will ask a girl to be their beer pong partner, which I’ve found is a pretty reliable maneuver. You have fun, you can make fun of her a bit (or her you), you get the “us vs. them” dynamic going, and you have an excuse to put your hands on her as she inevitably hugs you for making that average-skill shot.
Alternatively, I love asking girls to explore the house. I say we’re “partners in crime,” and as we go around, I try to make it as theatrical as possible and say things like, “We probably aren’t allowed to go in here… are you ready, partner?”
It creates the same dynamic and it adds the danger of somewhere you shouldn’t be and creates a whirlwind of excitement for the potential hook up.
Sometimes, playing a low-key game can be a great strategy. That means things like king’s cup, or even a fun group game like the Apple Head’s Up app (an absolutely great call), which gets people breaking the ice, teaming up, and just sharing some laughs.
If there’s a dance area, grinding on a girl and getting her turned on with your moves is always a good call. Even if there aren’t that many people dancing, if there’s good music, you can create an intimate “dance bubble” with your girl as you prepare to escalate.
If there’s a hot tub at the party… well come on.
More advanced party move: sometimes, if there’s a big bathroom and it’s spring or summer, I’ll try to be the life of the party and tell people to do what’s called a “Shower Power Hour.” It’s essentially where everyone strips down to their underwear, brings drinks to bathroom, bumps music, and turns the shower on full hot blast to create a ghetto sauna. This is too effective. It gets people way too hyped up (and girls sweaty and jumping around) if used probably.
Step 7: Move Her One More Time and Close
If you haven’t used the exploring strategy yet, this is a great
time. If you have, then you should already be hooking up with her. In
either case, go hard. Grab
her, slam her up against a wall, and start
kissing her like the world is about to end.
If you want to use a different strategy, just say “I want to tell you a secret. But it has to be in private.”
“It’s really loud here, let’s go to somewhere quiet.”
Any other excuse you can think of, because it’s a party, and you really shouldn’t overthink it.
Step 8: Go to Bed or Keep Partying
Nicely done good sir. Whatever you do after, you’ve earned it.
Party Sex Hack #1: In It for the Long Haul
See, in the normal everyday world, seductions with women will only follow three tracks:
You go through your process and the girl denies you
You go through your process and get a lukewarm result (kissing but no sex, phone number when you didn’t want it, etc.)
You go through your process and you get sex
But parties are not the normal everyday world. Normal circumstances dictate that if a girl wants you, you can lead her to a place to have sex, and sex will happen in a pretty short window.
But with parties, sometimes girls want you as much as they want to party. One of my last party hookups entailed me teasing a girl about her outfit and then initiating a light conversation that led to a deep dive.
After about 15 minutes, the girl said, verbatim: “I don’t want to beat around the bush. I like you, and I really want to hook up with you.”
“Boom” I thought. Game over. So after a few more minutes of flirtation and escalation, I really got her going. It was about 1am at this point, and I knew that it was time to close the deal.
Me: Let’s go to a quieter place.
Her: Noooo… I want to party more!
Me: Oh… we’ll have a good time! I promise. Let’s go explore this big house.
Her: Not right now, Colt! I love this song! Buuttt… I promise I’ll make it worth your while later…
I persisted a few more times and tried to use a hard sell, but my oh my, it. just. did. not. work.
She was 100% attracted to me. I 100% played it right. I even got her so worked up and aroused that she was clawing at me.
But she just really wanted to party more. And you’ll find girls like this at every party. Long story short, I ended up in bed with this girl… at 8:30 am. At that point I was so exhausted that I probably engaged in the laziest sex I’ve ever had.
But without a doubt, you can time-hack a party in two ways:
If you are hitting it off with a girl and she’s legitimately having fun getting drunk with her friends and running around, since the logistics are perfect, you can just play the waiting game until people eventually start falling away, pairing off, and things die down until it’s time for you to escalate.
If you haven’t had any success with a girl yet and it’s somewhere around 2 am, just keep hanging out. Once 3… 4… .or even 5 roll around, the girls who really want to hook up but haven’t found a guy yet will stick around… and it’ll just be you, them, and some quiet late night talk. Use it to your advantage. Though, I will say that sometimes these girls tend to not be as attractive as the girls you saw earlier in the night (the last pickings, as it were), but sometimes they are perfectly cute!
Party Sex Hack #2: Test Anything and Everything
Have you ever wanted to talk in accent? Have you ever wanted to convince a girl that you smoked with Michael Phelps? Have you ever wanted to open by slapping her on the butt and seeing what happens? Have you ever wanted to test out that serious opener that you think girls will love?
Do it at a party. And the bigger the party, and the fewer the people you know, the better. There’s no better environment for shenanigans and beta-testing as a party. You will see everything. You will meet every kind of girl. And in the end, most of the interactions will be superficial or drunk; and thus quickly forgotten if it doesn’t work. So have it, and go in with the kitchen sink.
Now, I want to talk about the other side of the coin. There’s definitely a darker side to the party world that I came to reflect on over the years.
After my first party, I wondered if everything I experienced was a fluke. Just some strange set of coincidences that came together in my favor. It wasn’t. After years of partying and hooking up occasionally, and then a few more of actually improving my skills and developing a system, I came to a set of realizations about the truth of parties.
Realization #1: All Parties are the Same
The sooner you understand this fact, the quicker you’ll find success. The conversations you’ll have will be the same, the things you do will be the same. Even the people you meet will generally be the same to a large extent, which is why Chase doesn’t date girls who club or party.
And I don’t mean just in America or in Europe. Everywhere. I’ve travelled the world over, and never once have I had an experience that made me think “this party is vastly different from what I’d see in the U.S.”
When you go to a party there will only generally be two principal activities at the party:
- Drinking games
That’s it. There will be no other actual party that has any other main activity.
Realization #2: A Party is a Mode of Escape
Everyone may be dancing and laughing, but in the end, most people (especially women) party to escape from something. They try to escape from their responsibilities, to escape from their mundane lives, to escape from their own sense of loneliness. That’s why the highest quality women don’t really party. They get their fulfillment in other ways. It’s the same with the highest quality men for the most part.
But a party by definition is stimulating, and exciting, and maybe even a little scary, which is why…
It’s Easier to Hook Up at Parties When You’re Younger
But Colt, you must be crazy! Surely when you get years of experience, and social skills, and comfort, you could just walk into a party and scoop up any girl. That may be true, but the fact is: most older adults don’t throw wild parties. So the chances of you walking into the house of a respectable late twenty-something to thirty-something and seeing people doing keg stands, playing king’s cup, and ruthlessly raiding the fridge are pretty low.
And if you do see that, chances are there are younger people at the party.
Parties are extremely fun when you’re in high school and college because it’s a time of exploration and experimentation into different social experiences. Which leads to the next realization:
Realization #3: Partying Gets Really Old When You’re an Adult
Because it’s all the same, and you’ve seen people stumble around and throw up over themselves a thousand times, and you now have more life responsibility, you get tired of parties as you age.
Generally older people will have lower key gatherings with nice drinks and good friends versus a let’s-play-strip-beer-pong rager. And they usually remember it to boot.
What If She is Too Drunk?
This is the unfortunate danger that every man faces when taking a foray into party sex land. Obviously when alcohol is involved, general inhibitions will be lowered. However, it’s simply a fact that many young girls like to overdo it.
And if they feel they’ve been taken advantage of, the blame lies solely on you.
I’ve seen too many dicey
situations end up in ruined reputations or serious drama for men
because a girl had one too many drinks.
Just be sure that you proceed with caution. If she is visibly too drunk, it’s best not to risk it. And if she’s consenting while at an appropriate level of inebriated, it’s so incredibly important that you prevent her having sex regret. If a young girl regrets sleeping with you – even if she completely knew what she was doing – she will throw you under the bus because that’s a threat to her reputation. And trust me… you don’t want to be under that bus. So keep your wits about you.
Party Sex Wrap Up
Anything that presents great reward comes with its risk. But overall, a party will be a phenomenal time for you. For the younger crowd who still feels that absolute thrill, that pang of excitement that comes from the pulsating bass and sonorous female whoo: a party can definitely be a great way to get some new experiences under your belt and easily pull open and promiscuous girls. Just remember:
- Be prepared
- Show up and come to play
- Make an entrance
- Scope the house
- Move her and do something fun
- Move her again and escalate
- Be careful
I never did see that jock that night. But I’m sure he managed to take that girl he wanted to bed. And you can follow suit with your own party sex experience.
And party on.