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(2) Intermediate

Intermediates can get dates and are beginning to have some level of social success

How to Demand Respect, Pt 3: What Is Disrespectful Behavior?

Hector Castillo's picture

disrespectful behavior
Disrespect can be direct – but often it’s cloaked. This article walks you through the many types of disrespect… and shows you how to recognize them.

In the first article of this series, we learned that the love of self is your greatest ally with women and socializing.

Then, in Part II, we tackled the three biggest myths others use to convince you that pride is bad.

If you haven’t read the other two articles yet, they’re not absolutely required reading for this part; it functions fine as a standalone article too. But I recommend you give them a read if you want the full picture we’ve been painting on respect.

In today’s article, Part III, we’ll get into how to recognize disrespectful behavior. We’ll also cover a few ways to tackle such behavior, though next time, in Part IV, we’ll really get into the details on how to deal with it.

On with Part III: what is and is not disrespect?

Tactics Tuesdays: 10 Times to Call Her Instead of Text

Chase Amante's picture

call her instead of text
10 times to give her a phone call instead of send her a text: when her text replies are bland, when she’s a slow text responder, when it’s logistically easier, and more.

We have a cool discussion on the forum right now where one of our members (Big Daddy) chronicles his foray into making phone calls to girls. He began to mix phone calls into his follow-up repertoire after a few of our articles on phone calls here. He was new to calls at the start of the thread, but once past those early jitters he discovered phone calls suit him:

Even if it doesn’t work out this already works so much better than texting. I mean my calling skills are 2/10 at the moment and I feel like I have 30x more leverage on calls. I’m actually having fun doing this “just for reps.”

In honor of this discussion Big Daddy kicked off, I thought I’d put together a list of the best times to call a girl... instead of send her a text.

Our occasions to call instead of text fall into a few key themes:

  • When you need to inject life into the courtship

  • When texting is inefficient or doesn’t work

  • When you need to cover a lot of ground in a short time (like to rebuild a connection, or fix a screw-up)

To help make the right times to call clearer, I’ve split these overarching themes up into 10 distinct scenarios.

Our first is when your initial meet was only lukewarm.

How to Demand Respect, Pt 2: The 3 Myths of Pride

Hector Castillo's picture

myth of pride
There’s a myth in various spheres that pride is wrong. Yet a man who cannot project and protect his pride is a man others cannot respect.

People love telling others to be less egotistical, selfish, rude, arrogant, etc.

Why?

Simple.

If one can convince another to adopt their moral framework, their worldview wins. It dominates. It’s quite gratifying to convert someone to a cause. The dominator now knows how the dominated will act – he can predict their moves and manipulate them. It also reinforces his own worldview. If enough people believe something, others are far more likely to buy into it.

Moral policing is about power and nothing else.

The most pervasive of moral policing, besides outright calling someone evil – the ultimate nuke of moral superiorityis to call someone prideful.

The implied argument behind the shaming is that pride is bad.

Sure, self-respect is good, they say, but don’t be prideful. That’s wrong.

But as I covered in part 1 of this series, the self is everything; thus, respecting yourself, or pride, is your foremost drive in this life. No matter what you try to do or try to believe, it will always be tied to the self.

And if the self is everything, there is no distinction between pride and self-respect. You cannot have enough of something that is potentially infinite.

That’s like saying you can have too much money or pussy. The only people saying that are those with little, or those who have a lot but don’t want you to have it, too. Because if it was bad, why do they still have all that money and pussy?

Those looking to control you would have you believe there is such a thing as too much self-respect.

This is a Machiavellian tactic used by the weak or the powerful but scared.

The strong do not criticize others for being arrogant, unless their primary social tactic is subterfuge. This is mainly used by intermediate-level sociopaths. Convince others they’re prideful, that they should lower their guards – then strike. Genius, actually. It’s so clever in fact that it’s convinced entire nations to stop being prideful in their culture and heritage, to feel guilt for their greatness. They were convinced of the Myth of Pride, that pride is bad.

I will now tackle the three biggest myths that are derived from the false claim that pride is bad. These three have many permutations, so by covering these, I cover almost all misconceptions about pride. The Trinity of Falsity.

Harvey Weinstein, Gropocalypse, and the #MeToo Campaign

Chase Amante's picture

Gropocalypse and #MeeToo
The roiling Harvey Weinstein Hollywood sex scandal was caused by a unique mix of perversion, sexual power dynamics, and the twilight of feminism.

In late 2017, The New York Times broke a story on Harvey Weinstein paying off sexual harassment accusers. A few choice excerpts:

[A]fter being confronted with allegations including sexual harassment and unwanted physical contact, Mr. Weinstein has reached at least eight settlements with women, according to two company officials speaking on the condition of anonymity. Among the recipients, The Times found, were a young assistant in New York in 1990, an actress in 1997, an assistant in London in 1998, an Italian model in 2015 and Ms. O’Connor shortly after, according to records and those familiar with the agreements.

...

The allegations piled up even as Mr. Weinstein helped define popular culture. He has collected six best-picture Oscars and turned out a number of touchstones, from the films “Sex, Lies, and Videotape,” “Pulp Fiction” and “Good Will Hunting” to the television show “Project Runway.” In public, he presents himself as a liberal lion, a champion of women and a winner of not just artistic but humanitarian awards.

...

Dozens of Mr. Weinstein’s former and current employees, from assistants to top executives, said they knew of inappropriate conduct while they worked for him. Only a handful said they ever confronted him.

...

After she arrived, he offered to help her career while boasting about a series of famous actresses he claimed to have slept with.

...

“She said he was very persistent and focused though she kept saying no for over an hour,” one internal document said. Ms. Nestor, who declined to comment for this article, refused his bargain, the records noted. “She was disappointed that he met with her and did not seem to be interested in her résumé or skill set.”

Not long after, a recording broke of a 2015 NYPD sting investigation, in which Weinstein can be heard trying to cajole a 22-year-old Italian model up to his hotel room:

Gropocalypse and #MeeToo
Weinstein and Ambra Battilana Gutierrez, the model he attempted to get up to his hotel room.

Rose McGowan accused Weinstein of rape. Stories surfaced of him cornering women and making them watch him masturbate (once into a pot in a restaurant kitchen). And then the dam burst. To-date, 91 actors, producers, and other members of Hollywood have been accused of sexual impropriety, courtesy the #MeToo campaign. Women, en masse, have come forward with accusations against men – particularly men who held power over them.

Why this time, though? There have always been sexual accusations against powerful figures. Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, Michael Jackson, Bill Cosby, Donald Trump... just to name a few of the most prominent ones. Some of the accusations swirling around these figures are worse than anything alleged against Weinstein; Cosby is accused of drugging women to rape them. Many of the varied claims made against Clinton over the years sound like something out of a B-level political thriller, with all the rape, murder, and coverups you can dream of.

Yet despite all the controversies around and accusations leveled at powerful political and media figures, the dam never broke before. But this time it did. Why now? What does this ‘Gropocalypse” and its #MeToo campaign tell us about men, women, and sexual power dynamics in the professional spheres?

Going Out Momentum: Hot Streaks and Cold Streaks

Alek Rolstad's picture

going out hot streak
As you go out to talk to girls, you will come into hot streaks… and stumble into cold ones. This article is about why that happens.

I have on multiple occasions written about momentum as it relates to seduction. It’s one of those underlying mechanisms that profoundly affects your vibe, mindset, and results with women.

Today I will focus on some pickup theory that will help you make sense of the “unlearning mechanism” that takes place in your journey. I’ll discuss why many can experience some negative momentum after a positive streak. In fact, I will explore how there is an equilibrium effect at work that balances things out.

Momentum is the overall state of mind in which you find yourself during a period of time that snowballs and affects your results moving forward. Positive momentum denotes a good state of mind, which in turn, results in a sexier vibe. You get onto a hot streak. Negative momentum, however, generates a negative state of mind, giving you an unsexy vibe. You slide into a cold streak.

Momentum can snowball in a positive or a negative direction. For instance, if you approach three girls and they all seem receptive to you, positive momentum is created and your vibe becomes sexier and more attractive. If you get rejected harshly three times in a row, the momentum works the opposite way.

The example above is a case of what I have referred to as micro momentum. It’s the momentum that affects you on a micro level – during a night out, for example.

Macro momentum, on the other hand, takes into account the bigger picture – the overall momentum over a longer period of time. For instance, some of you may have noticed how summer holidays tend to be more wild. You may rack up lays during the summer, feeling like a true god of seduction. Things may even start to seem too easy and straight forward. And you feel this way until you experience some disruption in macro momentum. Let’s say that during the winter you may, for whatever reason, have less success with women or find it very difficult to meet new women. You then develop a case of negative macro momentum.

Gratitude is Attractive (So Tell Her Thank You!)

Chase Amante's picture

gratitude attractive
Gratitude is a strong signifier of a socially calibrated individual. Not only does it help your interactions, but it increases your attractiveness, too.

This Thanksgiving, I figured I’d talk about gratitude.

One of the tools I’ve long used offhand to gauge someone else’s level of social calibration is whether and when he says thank you for things.

“Thank you” is a powerful phrase. It can be used to build bonds, to reward, or even to manipulate. Its absence can rub people the wrong way and cause them to see you as ungrateful and uncalibrated. It can raise your attainability, used right, or plummet it, if it isn’t given when it’s expected.

Beyond its effect on others, your use of gratitude affects you too. Thanking others reminds you you aren’t on your own; that you are part of a society, aiding others and being aided in turn.

In this article, we’ll focus on the effects on others when you use – or forget to use – gratitude.

But don’t forget the power it has to make you feel good too. Giving thanks for what you’re grateful for pays its own great dividends.

How to Demand Respect from Others, Pt 1: The Self Is Everything

Hector Castillo's picture

demand respect
If you want respect, you must be able to demand respect. The first part of this, however, is to realize you will never destroy your ego – so you might as well work with it.

There is an undercurrent of pseudo-philosophical thinking in the manosphere and the seduction community that needs to be revealed for what it is.

I have also been guilty of allowing this false thinking. This is as much a self-correction as it is a monumental criticism that strikes at the heart of many a grandmaster’s conclusion.

I call it the Egolessness Fallacy.

It is the fallacious thinking that having no ego is the best way to succeed with women.

The thinking goes as such: “Without an ego, where is thy sting, rejection?” There is no one there to be rejected.

This is *very* close to truth, but that which is closest to truth but not truth is the most devious lie.

I reckon this is how the falsity was woven.

If you go far enough in any skill, you will learn how to learn. You will learn how you learn, which means you’ll come to know how emotions affect you, stick with you, and how your thinking works.

The journey of seduction is perhaps one of the most direct paths to learning oneself, save for meditation, since you are the subject who is both acting and being evaluated. In any sport, you are the one carrying the ball or kicking the ball, yes, but the end goal is something impersonal. The other team or your team gets scored on. You are somewhat detached from the loss or victory (though it doesn’t always feel that way, of course).

With game, however, the woman has to accept you for there to be victory.

Furthermore, victory is mutual. You get pussy and she gets cock. You both win.

This means you are not so focused on the other person losing as you are with a traditional sport; you’re instead focused on two paradoxical outcomes.

You need her to want to submit to you.

However, the paradox is revealed when you consider that a woman does not submit to her equal or subordinate. It doesn’t make sense. She wants to submit, but she doesn’t win by submitting to a man who can’t make her submit.

One could be equitable and argue you need to be more dominant than her, but in practicality, this is going to look and feel like you are greater than her. Philosophize all you want, you must be her superior if you want to have sex fast.

You > her.

Don’t see the paradox yet? Alright, here it is.

What to Do When She Won't Join You Somewhere

Alek Rolstad's picture

girl won't join you
Girls won’t always agree to move with you, sit with you, or head somewhere else. If you’re not afraid of a little risk, though, you can often change their minds.

Hey, guys. I hope you are all doing well.

And I hope you found my posts on attention seekers useful (part 1; part 2). The first post examined the underlying mechanisms, where we had a quick look at female psychology, and the follow-up discussed the technicalities (how to deal with the issue at hand by using her strong desire for attention against her to generate attraction and compliance).

The techniques covered were mostly based on concepts such as showing mixed signals and taking away the attention from her through disqualification and rapport breaking. Those techniques can be useful in most settings.

Additionally, the techniques covered do have a general “attraction-building effect” on most girls, but they happen to work even better with attention seekers. The more attention seeking, the more dynamite the results, even to the point where her desire for attention reaches new heights, which she would be willing to fulfill through sex.

In this post, I will share a technique that is very simple on paper but may require some calibration. The techniques covered will serve as a resistance buster for whenever you are trying to move her (to isolate her or actually extract her back to your place). This is a form of resistance that is especially common among attention seekers. They resist being isolated with you, because becoming isolated with you results in lower amounts of attention for them (other men will be less likely to hit on an isolated girl and give her the attention she truly seeks). Same thing goes for extraction, which basically means “the attention seeking is over.”

Two notes to make before moving on:

  • Just like in my previous post regarding attention seekers, this technique can be used on most girls, although it will have more effect on attention seekers. It is key to emphasize this.

  • This strategy is fit for night game (bars and clubs). It can also be used at parties (extended social circle). I haven’t really tried this with day game. I didn’t really have to, as usually resistance toward isolation and extraction in day game is more genuine because of a lack of rapport or logistical hoops (she actually has plans to go somewhere). In night game, however (clubs being the sanctuary for attention seekers), there will be many attention seekers, and that’s where this post will come in handy.

Your Desires Are an Unmatched Tool to Motivate and Seduce

Varoon Rajah's picture

desire in seduction
Desire – your real desire – is a deep motivating force, and immensely attractive to the opposite sex. Tap into it and use it well, and you can do the near-impossible.

I received some very positive feedback from my article on the Interest-Preference-Desire model. If you haven’t read that, I suggest going back and taking a peek, because as a follow-up on that model, today I’m going to dive deeper into what “desire” is and how it affects our lives.

Desire is not only applicable to the process of seduction and attracting women, it plays a key role in the pursuit of our goals and how we live – specifically, the choices we make.

In the last article, I concluded that among the concepts of interest, preference, and desire, desire is the ultimate tool that actually results in committed action. There’s greater nuance when it comes to desire, because desire itself can be more fluctuating and relative. Some people never experience a constant desire for something long term, while others desire an outcome so badly that they continue to chase the desire even after it’s already been fulfilled multiple times.

What gives?

I’ll break this down in a hopefully easy-to-digest form, but do keep in mind that there is a lot of psychology and philosophy involved when it comes to desire.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Show Vulnerabilities

Hector Castillo's picture

how to show vulnerability
Vulnerabilities can be powerful things to show the woman in your life. Yet you must show the right kind of vulnerabilities – and at the right times.

Men should be strong. They should develop a resilience to pain and suffering. This keeps your head up when facing resistance in any endeavor. It’s also very attractive to women. Women like strong men.

But women also like a man who is hard to figure out – a man who has layers.

Strength pulls her in, but what addicts a woman is vulnerability.

However, you need to show the right type of vulnerability, and at the right time. As a lover once told me, you can sometimes be the right guy at the wrong time. Choose the wrong time to be vulnerable or show the wrong type of vulnerability, and she will run for the hills, as you will have shown yourself to be a weak man rather than a strong man with flaws.