Intermediates can get dates and are beginning to have some level of social success
Women LOVE older men. Always have, always will. Obviously it’s not NECESSARY for you to be older than her, but it helps. And once you’re in your 30s and 40s, why NOT date women as young as 18?
In these videos, I dive into WHY women love older men and what traits you will need at a certain age to take advantage of this natural attraction.
How should you calibrate your approach to a girl’s personality?
Or, more importantly, should you even bother with this at all?
Welcome back, gents!
In this vast series on calibration, we have so far covered 3 key subjects:
Once you’re in a relationship, the domestication process begins.
Why do women do this – and how do you not become totally broken and
domestic?
The difference between a serious long-term relationship and a short-term relationship, from the girl’s point of view, is complex in many ways.
She expects more investment from you, emotionally and logistically. You will have to spend more time with her than you would if she was a simple hookup. You will also have to do more than simply shag her then kick her out. You will meet her friends, her parents, and go with her to events and on dates. How much you should do this is up to the precedent you want to set and how often you WANT to see her. If you LIKE doing those things, then do them.
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The emotional side of things is a bit more complicated. How much emotion you should show depends on the girl. The harder she is emotionally, that much harder you should be (i.e., the less emotional you should be with her). She should be the one most in love, the most lovey-dovey, and the most cuddly. This is not up to debate. However, if you show no emotion, you can cause her to become too insecure and cause a lot of drama so that you end up proving your love in a small burst (an emotional down payment into the “I won’t suddenly leave you” fund), or she’ll seek that emotional fulfillment elsewhere, in another man (and this might turn into sexual fulfillment, too).
She also expects some level of commitment. Sexual faithfulness is far less important to women than emotional faithfulness. A hookup or having some low-key side chicks doesn’t bother women too much, so long as they know they are your queen. Obviously don’t rub this in her face if you choose to have side chicks. Be discreet and low-key.
All of this, when viewed from the complete freedom of singledom, cannot be described any other way than domestication.
When it comes to dating and seduction, most guys understand value. Be as valuable as you can. Become smooth, cool, learn game, get cool clothes, a nice haircut, and get in shape. But what most guys miss is that attainability loses you a lot more girls than you think.
In this video, I go over the three types of attainability problems that lose you girls, how to recognize them, and how to fix them.
You must calibrate your approaches and interactions to the social
context you find yourself in. What’s that include? Exposure, vibe, and
appropriateness.
Welcome back to this series on calibration, guys. Last time, we discussed what is, in my opinion, the most important aspect of calibration: calibrating to her level of interest and her overall response to your moves.
This time around, we will discuss another key aspect of calibration. Again, if you manage to understand the concepts and the theories, as well as the techniques covered in my last post, you will do well. I swear. If you also manage to master the ideas of this post, you are already a pretty good seducer, for sure.
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But like I mentioned in my previous post, there is no way one can become good at calibration without field experience. By this I mean failing and succeeding. Both give valuable lessons. Do not be afraid to mess up. Instead, jump into it, take a risk. If she doesn’t like it and she loses attraction? Well, as long as you did not cross the line into “overly offensive,” then no big deal, move on, learn from your mistake. And the next time you meet a girl in a similar context, you will be more calibrated.
These posts will serve as guidance to shorten the learning process. It will help you get better at calibration by helping you learn faster from your field experience. These posts will give you an overall idea so that you are not left in the dark, but keep in mind that you can only truly understand the points I am about to cover after having experienced them in real life.
Additionally, when it comes to calibration, there are unlimited nuances (so many that it is literally impossible to cover them all in posts). I can only give you the big picture, as an understanding of the small details are best acquired through in-field training. For example, every girl and every context differs. So many factors play in that dictate the outcome of an interaction:
And each of these have almost infinite variations.
However, with experience, you can create a model that has a high success rate.
For real, I have never seen a guy with a 100% success rate, but I know that an average of 1/5 from a club is doable. And let’s be frank, isn’t that more than good enough? It surely is for me.
When she texts you “maybe” or “we’ll see”, what does it mean? Why
do women text this? There are ways to reduce this happening – as well
as ways to deal with it once it happens.
A reader named Daniel writes in:
“Hey guys,
I have been gaming for a few years now, and I notice a theme. When I ask a girl to hangout via text, there are certain responses that women commonly give- and I consider them all to be negative. We’ll be texting each other, and when I ask her to hangout or suggest it she will either say: “We’ll see”; “I’ll let you know “; “maybe ; or go silent. Obviously, I get some positive responses, but any variation of these 4 tends to be the common negative ones. Any tips on how to respond to each? Or better yet, could you write an article on girls responding negatively or questionably when u ask them to hangout via text?”
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Ooh, yeah. That’s an ugly message to get:
These texts always suck. They suck for one major reason: the girl implies she holds all the cards.
This is not a gracious message. When she texts you “maybe” or she texts you “we’ll see” it is an “I’m-going-to-tell-you-how-it-will-be-and-you-will-be-waiting” message. Each of the above responses implies you want something, and she will decide later whether you will get the thing you want or not.
In this article, we’ll talk about some firefighting tactics you can use if you get this. But more importantly, we’ll talk about why women send this message in the first place, and the ways you can avoid ever even getting this message (most of the time).
I’ve
been on innumerable first dates over the years. And I’ve coached all
sorts of students through limitless more dates. And if there’s one
thing you find out, it’s that the
first date is absolutely, inescapably
crucial to how things play out the rest of the courtship.
The
first date is a make-or-break event. Hit a homer on the date,
and the rest is pretty magical.
A great first date makes your date partner comply more with you (she does what you ask of her). It causes her to cut you more slack (i.e., she’ll let you get away with more). And it piques her interest in you (now she wants where things go with her and you!).
But there’s plenty of opportunity to botch the first date, too. And a lot of folks do, a lot of the time. There’s all this uncertainty: you don’t know your date well yet (certainly not as well as you’ll know her later on... if all goes well). You don’t know what she likes, what she’ll respond to... what ‘does it’ for her. You might think you do – but you don’t. Not yet.
Even if you’ve known her a while, well... people have their ‘social
selves’, which is what they present to their friends and
acquaintances. Getting her on a date is about getting past this social self (and finding
out whom she really is).
On top of it all, you may not be all that sure what to do with your date, what to discuss, or where to take her. So in addition to all the question marks of your date herself, there is also the question mark of the date.
And the more question marks there are, the rougher things get.
In this article we’ll look at 11 of the most fatal mistakes you can make on first dates.
But don’t worry – we’ll also talk about how to avoid those mistakes, to make your first dates go as smooth as butter (and make your date melt like butter while she’s out with you, too).
You must know how to calibrate yourself to women to excel with
them. This means you need to know how to read her signals,
punish/reward, persist, and more.
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A few weeks ago, I wrote a post titled “How to Tell If a Guy Is a Good Seducer” where I covered some aspects that, in my opinion, good seducers have in common. One of those was having good calibration.
A few days later, a reader (drfeelg00d) asked the following:
“Calibration: Your game is indirect and based on the reaction of the girls. The examples about calibration that you gave in this article are quite basic (no criticism!)...For instance, on a macro level:
How do you calibrate considering the girls overall personality (shy, outgoing, experienced, inexperienced, young, old, artist or career type of girl etc…) Do you always stick to the same vibe or do you for instance add some aloofness to it, depending on the type of girl? On a micro level:
How do you calibrate to specific responses to you, say, in the beginning the famous red-yellow-green scheme? Then later, if she denies a compliance test, what if she rejects a frame set by one of your gambits?”
These are very good questions indeed. In my opinion, I believe what drfeelg00d refers to as the micro level is the most important aspect. I will therefore discuss this first and put more emphasis on it in this post. I will discuss what he refers to as the “macro level” in my next post.
This post will be pretty content-packed, and I may go a bit too quickly for some. If that is the case, let me know in the comment section if anything is unclear, and I will make a new post to elaborate. A cup of coffee or tea is recommended before reading this one. That said, I think this post is worth your time, no matter the girl, your skill level, or where you meet the girls.
First things first: Regarding calibration. It is one of the hardest subjects to cover, as the nuances are infinite. The best way to become calibrated is through field experience, which entails failing and succeeding – and sadly, most of the time failing. But the end benefits are worth it. Being a smooth and calibrated seducer is so key, and also something pleasurable to become!
That said, this post, in addition to my upcoming posts, will give you clues and advice that will ease up the process. But again… experience… going out and meeting women… there are no other ways around it.
You’ve met a girl, hit it off, and invited her to leave with you.
But then she tells you “I have to find my friends!” Don’t fret – there
are several ways to handle this.
One of the most bone-chilling things a girl you’ve made a lot of headway with in a bar, at a party, on a beach, or in a shopping mall can tell you when you ask her to go somewhere with you is “I have to find my friends!”
It signals a likely end to this beautiful courtship you’ve enjoyed with her. Either she is going to go and not come back... or you are going to go with her and follow her around like a puppy dog for a bit, until her friends decide it is time to go and she leaves (without you).
It totally sucks. You thought you were doing great with her. But now she “has to find her friends.”
How do you handle this obstacle with finesse, and not lose the girl?
Must you be an expert on women to excel with them? Of course not…
yet there are different kinds of expertise, and they have different
effects on your odds with women.
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I have a lot of fun building mental models of how other folks think, feel, and act that are as accurate as I can get them. As you may notice from comments by female readers on some of my articles, I’m generally pretty on-the-mark.
Yet something I found myself thinking about recently was “How well do you actually need to understand women to date them and bed them?”
It’s an interesting question. And not as easy to answer as you might think... because there are different kinds of “understanding women”, and different kinds of “doing well with women.”
