Intermediates can get dates and are beginning to have some level of social success
Some people say relationships are about compromise.
I say that it can oftentimes kill her attraction for you and rob you of a satisfying relationship. The simple question is "Why would anyone compromise their desires for another person?"
Women have a lot of very high standards. They just don’t always
stick to those standards, is all. In fact, they usually abandon a lot
of them.
I had a funny insight recently. Well, more a new way to look at
something I already was aware of, but the new way of looking at it
instantly made me go, “Ah, that’s how it is, yes.”
I started writing an article about girlfriend retention earlier. I
got about a third of the way into it, got pulled away from it, and
don’t really feel like going back to it right now. Then I started
writing one on hooking up with girls who are horny when you’re not the
most attractive guy in the room, but went on a big tangent and kind of
lost my train of thought so shelved that one for now too (lost trains
of thought happen
sometimes when you write).
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Anyway, in the ‘keeping a girlfriend’ one, I embedded a YouTube video of a hit 1970s soul song where the female singer talks about trying to hang onto a broke male partner she feeds and clothes and houses and whom she discovers is having an affair. It’s a great song (the single sold a million copies in its first eight weeks), and people love it... but the YouTube comment section is filled with women proclaiming how they would never tolerate a man straying on them and how the singer needs to find herself a new man.
And I thought “It is so funny how women do that.” Because I have had numerous girlfriends – beautiful, intelligent, charismatic girlfriends, with no shortage of male suitors and no lack of self awareness – declare to me they would never tolerate a man seeing other women while with them, even as they knew I saw other women while with them. I have watched these same women tell other women no woman should tolerate this and that any woman with such a man ought to leave him. Then come right back to me after these little rants to others, happy as pups.
It’s not just about fidelity. Women do it with many things. There was a poll I came across where someone asked Japanese women what they’d like to change about their man. 40% of women said a bit more muscle, 25% of women said more wealth, and another 25% said they wanted more personality. One male commenter on the poll results remarked “So just get muscular, be rich, and have a great personality. Easy!” (that’s sarcasm, in case you didn’t catch it). Another commenter remarked that the problem women face is all the ripped, rich guys with great personalities are gay.
And it’s true (the standards disconnect, not the gay thing. Although that is kind of true too)! If you ask most men what they want in a girlfriend, you’ll get a couple of items. Cute, nice, submissive, can cook and clean. That’s about what most guys want. Maybe one or two other things, like likes to dress sexy or is into this or that leisure activity. Many women have full-on wish lists of 30 to 70 qualities they want a man to have. Yet, again – reality doesn’t match women’s words. Look at the guys these girls with huge long lists of things they want date, and you discover their actual real world partners don’t have most of what these women say they want.
So why do women say they want all these things, and then turn around and date men who don’t have any of them? And then they keep saying they want those things anyway, in spite of their dating histories to the contrary?
Are women just nuts?
When girls tease, go off topic, get distracted, or turn mean, a
takeaway may be in order. But the key to these is calibration: not too
much, not too little.
We’ve talked a lot about takeaways lately on Girls Chase. Alek has
posted a few recent articles on “hit and run” in bars and nightclubs
(where you talk to a girl for a bit, leave, and come back later). And
in Monday’s article on handling disrespect,
Hector made ample use of the full suite of available takeaways.
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A takeaway is any behavior
you use to remove your attention, interest, or even outright presence
away from a woman. It can be an effective way to snap women to
attention, to increase your scarcity (and thus, the urgency
of hooking up with you), and to differentiate yourself from other men
(many of whom cling onto any woman who talks to them like burs as soon
as she gives them her attention, and would never leave or withdraw attention
until they’d totally given up). Takeaways also let you fractionate your courtships, and
are a powerful way to inspire women to chase you and do more of the
work in the courtship.
You’ve felt the power of takeaways plenty of times before yourself. A girl you talk with shrugs her eyebrows and seems disinterested. A girl you are with suddenly shifts from warm and open with you to frowning and telling you she doesn’t think you and her are very much alike. Another girl you were flirting with suddenly tells you “I have to run – I’ll catch you later!” and darts off. All these are takeaways... though some of them (like when she seems disinterested) are lighter and more implied, while others (like when she darts off) are stronger and more demonstrative.
We’ll look at the different types of takeaways you can use in this article. Then we’ll talk about some times to use them, as well as some times not to use them.
Advanced disrespect-handling tech: if she goes too far, show your
displeasure – and get her to chase after you to make it right.
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1. Is Auto-Rejection Bad or Good?
2. My Significance? Listen Here!
Welcome back to Part 5 of this series.
If you have not read them yet, read Parts 1 through 4 here:
Onto the topic of Part 5: using
auto-rejection to make girls chase you.
Hopefully, you don’t get to this point.
It’s much better if, after reading the previous articles in this series, you stomp out disrespectful behavior before it gets big enough that you have to auto-reject.
The best way to get out of a choke hold is to not get caught in one.
But sometimes, shit happens, and you end up in a choke hold.
Popularity is achievable for almost anyone willing to make a few
changes. Warmth, behaving as-if, and the Golden Rule of Friendship are
3 parts of it.
My friends nowadays never believe me when I tell them this, but when I was much younger, I had issues with making friends and getting women to like me.
I have a hard time believing it myself sometimes. All those memories seem like a distant nightmare, from days sitting alone in stalls eating lunch, to desperately trying to make friends – just to be scoffed at. From my clumsy attempts to talk to women, to finding only laughter where all I wanted was love.
Today, things are a lot different. If you were to talk to anyone in my native city of Las Vegas or mention my name on the strip, a good one in twenty locals will have heard about me – and possibly even talked to me. I have my choice of women, and more friends than I can keep up with. My social life is almost a job in and of itself.
And it doesn’t end there. Not only did I take the time to build a social circle in my home town, I also have the ability to use my status in a club full of strangers.
But what did I do to change? How did I go from being a shy guy to a loudmouth with a silver tongue?
My journey was a long one. It took many years to refine myself and get a direction. But with enough time and effort, I got to where I wanted to be. When I look back on it all, I know that if I had the tips I am about to give you, I could have more than halved the time it took to get to this point.
Not all tests are subtle. Sometimes women break out the big guns.
But what do you do when she hits you with a test aimed right at your
core?
In today’s Tactics Tuesdays post, we talk about a very specific kind of test. These are what I call ‘core tests’; they test a man at his core, aimed at what a woman dubs likely to be a core issue to a man’s strength or identity. A core test revolves around money, leadership, sexual prowess, and other areas most men pride themselves on strength in.
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This is Part I of a 2-parter on core tests. Part I deals with core tests in pickups and on dates.
Women will use core tests on you at any stage of interaction with them. They will use them with you during the courtship. They’ll use them on dates. They’ll core test you in the bedroom as you escalate to sex. They’ll core test you early on into a sexual relationship, half a year into your relationship, or ten years into marriage. Core tests are the most dangerous tests women will use on you – yet they also present the greatest opportunity to set massively powerful frames.
We’ll talk about how to spot a core test, why core tests carry so much force to shake most men so easily, and how to shrug core tests off in a way that will not only make women’s respect for you shoot through the ceiling, but will help you yourself cement your own identity as an unshakeable man.
Core tests serve as a reliable way to show women around you a kind
of dynamic
confidence most men don’t know how to summon up. And in this way, they
can be quite useful to encounter.
Disrespect can be direct – but often it’s cloaked. This article
walks you through the many types of disrespect… and shows you how to
recognize them.
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3. How to Spot Small Digs of Disrespect
4. How to Spot Indirect Digs of Disrespect
In the first article of this series, we learned that the love of self is your greatest ally with women and socializing.
Then, in Part II, we tackled the three biggest myths others use to convince you that pride is bad.
If you haven’t read the other two articles yet, they’re not
absolutely required reading for this part; it functions fine as a
standalone article too. But I recommend you give them a read if you
want the full picture we’ve been painting on respect.
In today’s article, Part III, we’ll get into how to recognize disrespectful behavior. We’ll also cover a few ways to tackle such behavior, though next time, in Part IV, we’ll really get into the details on how to deal with it.
On with Part III: what is and is not disrespect?
10 times to give her a phone call instead of send her a text:
when her text replies are bland, when she’s a slow text responder, when
it’s logistically easier, and more.
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1. When the First Meet was Tepid
3. When She’s a Slow Responder
4. When Her Interest is Failing
6. When It’s Logistically Easier
7. When You Screwed Something Up
8. When She’s Repeatedly Flaked
9. When There’s a Long Meet-Date Gap
We have a cool discussion on the forum right now where one of our members (Big Daddy) chronicles his foray into making phone calls to girls. He began to mix phone calls into his follow-up repertoire after a few of our articles on phone calls here. He was new to calls at the start of the thread, but once past those early jitters he discovered phone calls suit him:
“Even if it doesn’t work out this already works so much better than texting. I mean my calling skills are 2/10 at the moment and I feel like I have 30x more leverage on calls. I’m actually having fun doing this “just for reps.””
In honor of this discussion Big Daddy kicked off, I thought I’d put together a list of the best times to call a girl... instead of send her a text.
Our occasions to call instead of text fall into a few key themes:
When you need to inject life into the courtship
When texting is inefficient or doesn’t work
When you need to cover a lot of ground in a short time
(like to rebuild a connection, or fix a screw-up)
To help make the right times to call clearer, I’ve split these overarching themes up into 10 distinct scenarios.
Our first is when your initial meet was only lukewarm.
There’s a myth in various spheres that pride is wrong. Yet a man
who cannot project and protect his pride is a man others cannot respect.
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People love telling others to be less egotistical, selfish, rude, arrogant, etc.
Why?
Simple.
If one can convince another to adopt their moral framework, their worldview wins. It dominates. It’s quite gratifying to convert someone to a cause. The dominator now knows how the dominated will act – he can predict their moves and manipulate them. It also reinforces his own worldview. If enough people believe something, others are far more likely to buy into it.
Moral policing is about power and nothing else.
The most pervasive of moral policing, besides outright calling someone evil – the ultimate nuke of moral superiority – is to call someone prideful.
The implied argument behind the shaming is that pride is bad.
Sure, self-respect is good, they say, but don’t be prideful. That’s wrong.
But as I covered in part 1 of this series, the self is everything; thus, respecting yourself, or pride, is your foremost drive in this life. No matter what you try to do or try to believe, it will always be tied to the self.
And if the self is everything, there is no distinction between pride and self-respect. You cannot have enough of something that is potentially infinite.
That’s like saying you can have too much money or pussy. The only people saying that are those with little, or those who have a lot but don’t want you to have it, too. Because if it was bad, why do they still have all that money and pussy?
Those looking to control you would have you believe there is such a thing as too much self-respect.
This is a Machiavellian tactic used by the weak or the powerful but scared.
The strong do not criticize others for being arrogant, unless their primary social tactic is subterfuge. This is mainly used by intermediate-level sociopaths. Convince others they’re prideful, that they should lower their guards – then strike. Genius, actually. It’s so clever in fact that it’s convinced entire nations to stop being prideful in their culture and heritage, to feel guilt for their greatness. They were convinced of the Myth of Pride, that pride is bad.
I will now tackle the three biggest myths that are derived from the false claim that pride is bad. These three have many permutations, so by covering these, I cover almost all misconceptions about pride. The Trinity of Falsity.
The roiling Harvey Weinstein Hollywood sex scandal was caused by
a unique mix of perversion, sexual power dynamics, and the twilight of
feminism.
In late 2017, The New York Times broke a story on Harvey Weinstein paying off sexual harassment accusers. A few choice excerpts:
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“[A]fter being confronted with allegations including sexual harassment and unwanted physical contact, Mr. Weinstein has reached at least eight settlements with women, according to two company officials speaking on the condition of anonymity. Among the recipients, The Times found, were a young assistant in New York in 1990, an actress in 1997, an assistant in London in 1998, an Italian model in 2015 and Ms. O’Connor shortly after, according to records and those familiar with the agreements.
...
The allegations piled up even as Mr. Weinstein helped define popular culture. He has collected six best-picture Oscars and turned out a number of touchstones, from the films “Sex, Lies, and Videotape,” “Pulp Fiction” and “Good Will Hunting” to the television show “Project Runway.” In public, he presents himself as a liberal lion, a champion of women and a winner of not just artistic but humanitarian awards.
...
Dozens of Mr. Weinstein’s former and current employees, from assistants to top executives, said they knew of inappropriate conduct while they worked for him. Only a handful said they ever confronted him.
...
After she arrived, he offered to help her career while boasting about a series of famous actresses he claimed to have slept with.
...
“She said he was very persistent and focused though she kept saying no for over an hour,” one internal document said. Ms. Nestor, who declined to comment for this article, refused his bargain, the records noted. “She was disappointed that he met with her and did not seem to be interested in her résumé or skill set.””
Not long after, a recording broke of a 2015 NYPD sting investigation, in which Weinstein can be heard trying to cajole a 22-year-old Italian model up to his hotel room:
Weinstein and Ambra Battilana Gutierrez, the model he attempted
to get up to his hotel room.
Rose
McGowan accused Weinstein of rape. Stories surfaced of him
cornering
women and making them watch him masturbate (once
into a pot in a restaurant kitchen). And then the dam burst.
To-date, 91
actors, producers, and other members of Hollywood have been accused
of sexual impropriety, courtesy the #MeToo campaign. Women, en masse, have come
forward with accusations against men – particularly men who held
power over them.
Why this time, though? There have always been sexual accusations against powerful figures. Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, Michael Jackson, Bill Cosby, Donald Trump... just to name a few of the most prominent ones. Some of the accusations swirling around these figures are worse than anything alleged against Weinstein; Cosby is accused of drugging women to rape them. Many of the varied claims made against Clinton over the years sound like something out of a B-level political thriller, with all the rape, murder, and coverups you can dream of.
Yet despite all the controversies around and accusations leveled at powerful political and media figures, the dam never broke before. But this time it did. Why now? What does this ‘Gropocalypse” and its #MeToo campaign tell us about men, women, and sexual power dynamics in the professional spheres?
