Insights from the Mind of a Seducer | Girls Chase

Insights from the Mind of a Seducer

Tactics Tuesday: Be the Anti-Player

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

anti-player
The anti-player is still a player. However, the way he meets women is by keeping things intimate – so she can trust him more, and he can move faster.

Do women sometimes hit you with player accusations?

Does it feel like girls you approach are skeptical of you? As if they keep their guards up, not wanting to be so vulnerable with you they get hurt?

This is how people are with those they don't trust. Players are people women don't trust. A woman might be attracted to a player, but she often won't trust him.

And if she doesn't trust you, she probably won't go to bed with you.

There are a few different ways to overcome this 'player problem' and sleep with lots of girls.

One of the more reliable ways is what we might call 'being the anti-player'... really just a series of tactics that let you show a woman you are not going to hurt her or ditch her.

Combine that with your usual attractive, flirtatious, escalating self, and what you have is a guy who very easily leads women step-by-effortless-step through her seduction.

7 Ways to Stop Being Nervous Around Women

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

stop being nervous around women
To stop being nervous around women, you need to interact with people and gain a level of social normalcy. You just need more experience, and here’s how to get it.

Would you like to stop being nervous around women? You’re not alone.

Every student I’ve taught told me they have approach anxiety. Why do they suffer? Because they don’t know what to say. They don’t know what to say largely because they’re nervous.

It’s an evil feedback loop of despair.

If it weren’t for nervous men, I’d be out of a job. It’s the #1 reason most of us find the seduction community. Not because we want to be big pimps, have harems, and run a pickup company. We just want to be able to attract women.

I used to be very nervous around beautiful women.

When I was a kid, I developed man boobs, otherwise known as gynecomastia. Nothing hurts a young man’s self-esteem like having tits. Also, I was raised by a single mother and two sisters who surprisingly taught me nothing about attracting women.

I was horribly insecure, especially around the pretty girls. I couldn’t talk to them because I’d get too excited. My heart would start racing, and I’d sweat, stutter, stammer, and have panic attacks. The girls would just look at me with concerned expressions and ask, “Are you okay, Tony?” This happened often enough to be a big problem.

I did date a few girls: the ones who basically threw themselves at me. But because I was so needy, those relationships rarely lasted longer than a month. I felt that if I screwed up a relationship, it might be years before I found another girlfriend. Of course, this desperation drove the girls away.

That is, until I got liposuction, and found the pickup advice forums.

On the forums, I learned about “game.” How to cold approach women in bars, day game, push-pull, teasing, stories, cold reads, future projections, and on and on. So I started going out to practice, to change my life with this new arsenal of tactics, techniques, and philosophies. This was it, I thought, I’m totally going to pick up hot women with all this knowledge!

The Seduction Liminoid: How to Create a Sexual Tension Bubble

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

liminoid bubble of sexual tension
How do you build a sexual tension bubble with a girl, where you can make your own rules and foster sexual freedom? By harnessing the seductive power of the liminoid.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Last week we discussed the concept of liminality and how it applies to pickup and seduction.

In broad terms, the concept of liminality describes the transitional phase within a society. It's when the status quo is deconstructed, and the new has not yet been institutionalized. This is the phase betwixt and between in the lifespan of society and culture. But this concept can also be applied to humans. We can see liminality as a rite of passage, for instance, during the time from childhood to adulthood.

But the theory doesn't stop there. We've discussed how liminality could apply to seduction, and more interestingly, how it could help us make better sense of certain seduction concepts, namely:

We looked at how seduction is about leaving a girl in a liminal phase (state of limbo) when she is curious about you and your interest level or intentions. Since liminality is the phase betwixt and between, leaving her in a phase when something is happening — but not certain or well-defined — keeps the intrigue and mystery going.

We also saw how seduction ends when this phase ends, as you move away from the liminal phase. We also discussed how keeping her in a liminal phase can keep your relationship going in the long-term.

Another key aspect relates to how a liminal phase is liberating. Since it is betwixt and between, social rules are somewhat broken. Something may be real, while at the same time not “official,” or unknown to the social world.

According to the great anthropologist Victor Turner:

“They are dead to the social world, but alive to the asocial world. Many societies make a dichotomy, explicit or implicit, between sacred and profane, cosmos and chaos, order and disorder. In liminality, profane social relations may be discontinued, former rights and obligations are suspended, the social order may seem to have been turned upside down.” (Turner, V., Liminal to Liminoid, p. 59)

Today we will discuss the other part of his essay, the liminoid, and how that applies to pickup and seduction.

How to Manage Your Friends as You Learn Seduction, Pt. 2: Shady Men

Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

manage friends while learning seduction
You’ve approached a hot girl and the seduction is going well, then some “friend” of yours swoops in and steals her. Here’s what to watch out for to avoid babe theft.

Welcome back to my series about how to manage your circle of friends as you get better with women! It’s one of the most aggravating problems men face as they increase their skillset and get with more higher-quality women. They eventually realize they’ll need to upgrade their group of male friends to follow their progress.

In Part 1, we talked about how many men are unfortunately clueless or dumb when it comes to women. Their lack of knowledge can make things awkward if you’re trying to do something with your girl, like maintaining a solid frame. With clueless and dumb friends, one split second mistake can affect you and your woman for months. The clueless friend will either downplay their actions or can’t fathom why their actions could have a serious impact. After all, they are typically hanging out with friends for the good times and will do nothing to impact their stake in the game.

Today we cover a more serious type of male friend: the conniving and shady friend, who uses you as a crutch to get the woman you are gaming. Shady friends often use the powerful tool of state transference to take a girl you approached, gamed, or even slept with and dated to twist the situation and get her for himself. As you can imagine, things can get ugly.

9 Ways to Be Romantic Without Being Cheesy

Hector Castillo's picture

By: Hector Castillo

how to be romantic
We all know that trying too hard turns women off, but you still need to show her you care, right? How do you be romantic without going overboard?

It’s a hilarious irony that although romance is the most talked about subject in human history, how to be romantic is a largely misunderstood subject, by both men and women. Keeping a woman happy is a lot easier than the literature would have you believe.

This simplicity is your liberation from the idea of sacrifice as love.

Romance is a simple combination of:

  1. Her being appreciated and noticed

  2. Her being well sexed

She wants to be noticed for both her physical qualities and her personality. She wants to feel sexy and beautiful but also smart, courageous, funny, etc. If you show her and tell her, with earnest sincerity, she will feel these ways because of you.

That’s one half of romance.

She also wants to be desired sexually and ravished. There is no higher compliment to a woman than your hard dick enjoying itself inside of her. But men complicate this, usually in an attempt to not treat her like a sexual being, out of fear or “respect,” which is another cute irony.

The truth is, women want to be objectified sexually, even sometimes without romance. Or, in a serious relationship with romance, or at least moving in that direction, you then add appreciation for her personality to the base of your sexual desire. However, sexual desire is still the foundation and the way of expressing your love.

This is what separates the creepy guy at the bar objectifying her and her adoring, masculine lover, boyfriend, or husband. The creepy guy, or any guy she doesn’t see as dominant, is insulting her by desiring her sexually.

“How could this guy think he has a shot with me?”

Sure, a hundred loser guys liking her photo on Instagram will make her smile and feel validated, but it’s worth one-sixteenth of a sixteenth of a second of her lover’s appreciation for her.

And she has no problem with the sexual objectification, as I said, even if he’s a random HOT stranger. That’s because, for X or Y hot characteristic he has (fashion, charisma, tall, handsome, status, money, devil-may-care attitude, etc.), his sexual attraction is welcomed.

He’s “allowed” to objectify her because she ALSO positively objectifies him (I want to have sex with him, or “I want his babies”).

And this is romance.

It's a combination of appreciation and lust. The question that inevitably follows from any man who knows the nature of women is how to achieve a balance.

Tactics Tuesdays: Open Loops

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

open loop
An open loop in conversation serves as a conversational "fallback" – and it makes your conversations FEEL more interesting, too.

An open loop is a conversation line you open, which you then leave open as you switch to a different topic.

For example, you say "You know, I found this incredible little restaurant when driving around Southside last Sunday. Do you ever drive around Southside? I know it's a little down in the dumps but blah blah..."

You opened the topic of 'incredible little restaurant', then switched to a different topic (driving around Southside).

Meanwhile, you've left the 'incredible little restaurant' topic open. You can now loop back to it later if you wish.

Open loops are handy, because they serve as ready topics for you to switch back to later on. If one topic of conversation dries up, you can flip back to a loop you opened earlier.

Master conversationalists create lots of open loops. Open loops can serve as lifelines, bailing you out when something you tried conversationally does not work.

Seeding is a kind of open loop -- where you open the loop of something you'd like to do with someone at some point, then return to it later on.

Open loops have many uses.

For today's Tactics Tuesdays installment, I'll show you several of those uses (to help you get the gist of the tactic... but there are myriad uses for open loops), and I'll give you more examples of how to open a loop within your conversations.

8 Tips That'll Get You Out to Start Dating Again

Tony Depp's picture

By: Tony Depp

start dating again
We all have dating droughts for one reason or another, or perhaps we just got out of a relationship. Either way, the good news is it’s not hard to start dating again.

Last year I decided to start dating again. As a professional dating coach, I obviously don’t showcase this much, but I had a two-year sojourn from women.

This type of thing is not uncommon for guys of any age, especially for guys past their 30s like me. All men go through dating/no-dating phases throughout their lives for whatever reason or no reason at all. Other priorities and interests pop up, or they get stuck in a rut, or they get bored or burnt out with the dating scene and decide to take a break and focus on something else, or they get out of a long-term relationship and are recovering from it or they don't know how to get back in the game and attract a woman they'd like to date.

Whatever the reason you find yourself getting back into the dating life, it's important to start with the right mindset. That means not thinking you're doomed because you've had a break; it means knowing there are plenty of high-quality women out there you can attract if you put in the effort. But that's true for every guy! Not having dated for a time doesn't make you an anomaly. You just need a refresher course and to gain a bit of momentum. Dating is like riding a bike.

That said, if you've let yourself go and have become a fat, jaded, neck-bearded slob since your last date, you'll have a harder time getting back on the trail (also true with riding bikes, no?).

Your dating confidence may be low right now, which is why you're here reading this. At the very least, you're on the right path, and it could just be a matter of one or two good dates or evenings vigorously thrusting your manhood into a hot, wet vagina to get you rolling again. Sometimes all it takes is to be reminded of how amazing it feels to have sex with a woman, have a meaningful connection with one, or both.

Personally, I went with no sex for about 20 months. And to be honest, it didn’t really bother me. If I died tomorrow and my life flashed before my eyes, I wouldn’t cry about my lack of sexual experiences.

Why would a man with a skillset such as mine decide to isolate himself from the sexual marketplace? To answer that, I’d have to share too much of myself for a blog post. But I’ll just say, sometimes turning your hobby into a job has unintended effects. I felt a little bit of dating PTSD, like a kick boxer who’d been kicked in the head too many times and just wanted to lie down.

I’ve been into this stuff for almost 14 years, slept with hundreds of women, fell in and out of love, traveled the world, and went “Okay, now what?” I’m no guru. I’m just a man.

Long story short, the phases of my life shifted back to dating, and it wasn’t easy at first. But I’m back, baby! And I’ll share with you what I’ve learned from the upside-down of dating.

Always Make Sure You Know How Much Time She Has

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

find out how much time she has
One of the first things to do in any date you go on or on any approach that might have a time constraint: ask the girl what else she has planned, and when.

Ever meet a girl on a bus or a train, and you start talking, and it seems to go great... and then all of a sudden she's telling you "That's my stop, I have to go!"... and the next thing you know, she's gone, and you hadn't even grabbed her contact details?

Ever take a girl on a date, and just when it starts to get good she tells you "Hey, I'm sorry, but I have to leave now, I have an appointment in 30 minutes and I have to get going."

That's always super awkward, isn't it?

What if you didn't have to run into these scenarios ever again?

What if you always made sure you had girls' contact info far in advance of them leaving, and you knew exactly when a date had to end, so you could be sure to end it on your terms?

Well, you can.

It's very simple.

All you need to do is, very quickly into any conversation or date where there's any possibility of a time constraint, make sure you know how much time she has.

Liminality and Seduction: Inside the Bubble of Sexual Tension

Alek Rolstad's picture

By: Alek Rolstad

liminality bubble of seduction
Have you ever been in a sexual bubble with someone, seemingly separated from the outside world and free to make your own rules? Liminal space is the seducer’s Shangri-La.

Today I will share a bit of an abstract concept. It’s inspired me often in my analysis and overall understanding of pickup and seduction. Hopefully the reason why will become clear by the second half of this post, where I’ll show an applied example.

This concept is called “liminality” and comes from social theory, or more precisely from anthropology. It’s also used in psychology and sociology, as well as social philosophy.

Anthropologist Arnold van Gennep coined liminality, but anthropologist Victor Turner perfected it. Turner has written multiple texts on the subject, but I would consider his "Liminal to Liminoid, in Play, Flow, and Ritual: An Essay in Comparative Symbology" to be the flagship study.

I will not go into great detail about the theory for the sake of keeping this article concise and on point, but in my academic career, I‘ve been often inspired by Turner's concept of liminoid spaces (see my post on the secret society).

"Pickup Artist Advice Doesn't Work!"

Chase Amante's picture

By: Chase Amante

pick up artist advice
Have you tried out some advice from a pick up artist and it didn't work? Was it some pretty extreme bad advice, like "always do this super intense thing"?

I've interacted with lots and lots of students over the years.

You see all types, in terms of depths of study and levels of results:

  • There are the guys who study seduction for a bit and use it to get some lays and find a girlfriend

  • Then there are the guys who study seduction in-depth and go on to get respectably good with girls -- they rack up respectable notch counts, get some beautiful girls, and build a mini harem or settle down with a top notch long-term partner or wife

  • There are the guys who poke around with it a bit, read some, watch some, experiment a little, but never really commit to learning it, and drift off, eventually meeting whatever women come into their lives in more conventional ways (e.g., dating a friend's ex... hooking up with a girl from work... meeting some chick off a dating app, etc.)

  • Then you get guys who get into seduction for a while, do well with girls, but drift off to something else before they can really cement their results, presumably because woman success doesn't really do a lot for them and something else is more engaging to them

  • And, finally, in the 'most likely to leave irate and disappointed' category, you get the guys who get into it, became obsessive about it, but focus on the wrong things, and proceed to struggle for a while (sometimes for years), until they eventually flame out, sometimes angrily so

Among the guys who've actually studied seduction, except for those guys who flame out, there are generally positive feelings. It's pretty hard to argue that things like "keep your posture tall and erect" and "lead your conversations where you want them to go" is bad or harmful advice. Even if a guy doesn't stick with it long enough to get many immediate results, he will generally appreciate whatever he did learn.

However, there is a class of student that's mystified me for a long time.

This class of student will show up later on, typically after he's become disillusioned with a branch (or all branches) of seduction for this or that reason, and either accuse you (the teacher), or other teachers in the space, of giving shoddy advice that doesn't work.

Then you will ask him what this advice is that is not working for him, and he will tell you things that no seduction teacher has ever told a student to do, and that violate what you yourself personally tell people to do.

And you will wonder how did this chap get it in his head that this horrible advice he has seemingly pulled out of thin air is in fact what seduction teachers want people to do?

When I figured out what caused this, it also led me to a thinking mistake many students of just about any field (including seduction) appear to be prone to make.

That problem is the problem of thinking in extremes.