Fundamentals

A woman’s decision to sleep with you is largely based on whether you give her a reason to screen you out. The solution? Stop making mistakes that get you screened out.

Men and women differ significantly in their mating strategies with how each screens the opposite sex. Men are direction oriented and look for women with the sexual qualities that they want in a woman. They have a knack for going after certain looks, features, or personality traits in a woman. Men screen for women who fit the bill.

A woman, on the other hand, operates quite differently and from the opposite angle. She looks for attractive men and evaluates if she should keep moving forward with a guy based on his behavior and presentation. Then she evaluates whether or not she wants that. So she’ll give him a chance until she is forced to screen him out. It’s usually a result of a mistake a guy makes that conflicts with her social frame, sexual desires, failure to interest her, or her biology.

The reason for this is because men primarily seek sex and women primarily seek relationships. Yet women live in a land of sexual abundance where they’ll always have men looking to have sex with them if they’re remotely attractive, but women find it tough to lock men into relationships because they can’t find one who is good enough and down for a relationship! This difference in nature is perplexing to a lot of men. I see this happen all the time. A guy sees progress with a woman and gets super excited about her and how far they’ve come along until she suddenly disappears, and the guy is left clueless wondering what happened.

Because of radically different mating agendas, men screen for women to add to their lives, but an attractive woman lives in sexual abundance and has many different men chasing after her, so she is forced to screen men out. Men’s sexual agenda is to mate with as many of the best girls as possible, whereas a woman’s goal is to find the best one and win him over for herself.

In the mating game, men screen women in, and women screen men out. And when guys make mistakes in the seduction, or they miss good opportunities, she no longer sees him as a contender for the best man, and he loses his shot.

Lots of factors can thwart your chances with women. These particular ones have a way of infecting you with long-term dry dick syndrome. And they’re not hard to fix.

Like a pebble that causes an avalanche, the tiniest change in mindset or strategy can create such profoundly powerful results.

You may be struggling with your game, getting stuck in stage-two seduction, or just wondering why things aren’t clicking. Over my years of teaching, I’ve noticed that men have common, universal sticking points, or blind spots, that once isolated, can drastically improve success with women.

In today’s article, I’m going to share six areas where you can improve today.

Attraction requires a flow of action and reaction. It gets disrupted when you overthink. To gain a successful seducer’s mindset, practice acting on a whim.

As men, we are thinkers. When faced with a problem or difficult scenario, we want to take a seat and mull over the possibilities. As a seducer, you want to interrupt that process and adopt another kind of thinking.

There are a few things overthinking men do “wrong” in the eyes of women:

1. Acting on opportunities too late or delaying sexual behavior to seem chivalrous

2. Promising things in the future that have no evidence in the present

3. Desiring the ideal of sex like it can't go wrong and losing sight of reality where it can

We tend to slow down when things get complex, but women start to worry and think faster as things get complicated. To girls, we seem ill-equipped to handle complexity. Girls have no way of measuring the potential success rate when we sit down to think; they assume we are “sitting this one out.” So by that standard, it is not chivalrous to delay sexual behavior; it is often seen as a man “quitting very easily.”

Also, we like to promise the future to women. However, women are intensely connected to their feelings in the "right now," and the future does not affect them emotionally like the present does. A woman will never give up an emotion NOW for an unmeasurable gain later. Neither will she respect a promise without strong evidence, no matter your conviction.

Lastly, if you desire sex, and do not consider all the ways it can blow up and be annoying, girls will just become lazy and entitled about sex. They’ll think of you as far too slow-witted to have a mind of your own about what is desirable. And if they think you don't know what is desirable, they won't strive to be desired by you.

These three concepts are why you need to stop sitting down to think or slowing down to seem thoughtful. Girls do not think like you, they think faster and faster, intensely relying on feelings NOW, and they adhere to a code of absolute desire or apathy.

To think like a seducer, you must become uninhibited in every action you take, adhering to a philosophy they adore. You must flow from task to task, and make the complex seem simple and beautiful. You cannot slow down or get flustered, and you cannot overthink.

Seducing is much like playing a musical instrument. You cannot worry about what others will think of you if you start scrunching your face as you search for the perfect sound. You can't stop halfway through the song to think through the next part. At that exact moment in time, it is sink or swim, and you must act in the way that produces maximum effect. Anything less, and you will not capture people's imagination or stir up their feelings.

You can be the coolest guy in the room, but no one will care unless you’re perceived as such. How do you convey attractive traits, and which traits should you focus on?

Today’s post is one that I have wanted to write about for a long time, not because I find it ground-breaking, but because it covers crucial elements of understanding pickup and seduction.

Many of you have already figured out the concepts I’ll mention. That’s cool. It’s always good to get confirmation from someone else.

Others will find the points I make intuitive, and that’s cool, too, because my post may help you put into words (or perhaps “new words” or “different words”) something you have already thought about.

And some will read this without having any past ideas or opinions on the matter. If that’s you, great! You will learn something new.

This post is a key pillar to help you understand the big picture of how pickup and seduction works. Ideally, this post will help you tie some things together to give you a better understanding.

I believe this post is suited for everyone, beginners and pros alike. No matter your style, or whether you like to meet girls online, in clubs, or on the street, this one is for you.

Let’s get on with it.

A few hours ago as I walked down a city street, a woman stepped out in front of me.

Her face and body were ordinary. But she triggered an involuntary response in me. My heart rate quickened. I felt excitement. I wanted to talk to this girl, and meet her.

I didn't talk to her. She finished crossing the sidewalk and entered the car waiting for her, with someone I guessed was a boyfriend.

And, truth be told, she wasn't really my type. Like I said, pretty average face and body.

Had I met her somewhere else though, I'd have likely talked to her and, if she bit, pursued her. Her walk was quick, confident, sexy. Her hair was a clear bottle blonde, and she'd clearly used a curler to add some wave. Her nose was too big, but her eyelashes were long and luxurious, and her lips were bright red, so I didn't stay focused on her nose long.

Her breasts were pert; though I've been with girls with breasts like hers where you take the girl's clothes off and discover those breasts are 90% bra. Her stomach was flat and her legs looked strong, so that was real, though there wasn't much to her butt. Even still, in her form-fitting yoga clothes, she looked good.

I passed through the perfume wake she trailed behind her as I continued my way down the street, and when I inhaled her sent my pulse quickened a second time.

And I thought to myself "That girl is far more ordinary, in her face and body, than plenty of more beautiful women I've seen already today. Yet, she excited me in a way none of those girls did."

What worked for her will work for you as well.

Because the secret of how to attract women is the same for men as what women use to have that effect on men.

And just like women like that can attract you and me with certain irresistible attraction signals (even if we know how they're doing it), you and I can do the same to women, too.

The more acceptable a match a woman thinks you are for her, the better your odds with her are. Here's what you must do for her to mark you 'acceptable'.

Since I started this website, we've always stressed the importance of fundamentals. Fundamentals range from your posture, facial expressions, and voice, to how you walk and move, your hairstyle, your facial hair, your clothes, your fitness, and physique. Also included: social fundamentals like sprezzatura, and how well you stick to the Law of Least Effort. All are great, and you will do better with women the better you get on each. But why are they important?

Fundamentals help so much because they make you more attractive. Get your fundamentals good enough, and you can even overcome your disadvantages. Girl doesn't usually like men of your height, weight, race, job type? Get your fundamentals good enough, and it becomes "Wow, you're not like the other [whatever you are]!" Why would this be, though? How do fundamentals overcome deep-seated biases in partner choice?

The way fundamentals do this is by raising either (or both of) your social acceptability or your sexual acceptability. Acceptability is a topic Alek's been discussing in his "Female State Control" series, under the name of 'social frame'. I want to unpack this concept more here, and look at a few of the different ways 'acceptability' can go. Because not all sorts of acceptability are created equal.

Some dating methods are terrible for guys learning to attract the women they desire. If you’re learning game, do NOT focus on these battlegrounds.

I have noticed that many men are shooting themselves in the foot and purposely selecting battles and battlefields that are not beneficial for them when it comes to dating.

For example, when guys want to get laid, many will use:

• Social Circles
• Tinder
• Online Dating

With the right strategies and skills, you can find success is all those battlegrounds, but to be honest, all are relatively crappy compared to others available, especially for beginners.

Picking poor battlefields as the selected method for dating is also counter-intuitive – making this not only more difficult for themselves but also limiting their results and making the process much more frustrating.

This post is partly meant to express some frustration I’m experiencing and answer many commonly asked questions. This post will hopefully clarify my thoughts on simplifying the process of getting laid and finding girlfriends, and help guys make the best use of their time and energy.

Let’s get right to it.