Fundamentals | Girls Chase

Fundamentals

The basic building blocks of being attractive and getting results with women that every aspiring ladies' man should get down cold.

Relentless Pragmatism Pt. 1: The Best Mindset to Get Better with Women

sexy elegant fundamentals
Attraction has many factors, so choosing what to focus on isn’t easy. This series will help you forge a path to reaching your goals with women, whatever they may be.

It's no stretch to guess that you started reading Girls Chase articles regularly for a reason. Maybe a specific question piqued your curiosity if you’re a newcomer who stumbled on this website recently.

“How can I get better with girls?”

That's a completely natural desire. We're here to help.

Perhaps there’s a cute girl you’ve seen at the gym or yoga class, and you’ve wondered what it would be like to take her home. Or you go to a nightclub Friday night, and you see a gorgeous girl dressed to the nines. On your way to work, you stop by a coffee shop and exchange a few moments of flirtatious eye contact with an attractive woman.

So you’ve had a number of these experiences, and you’re tired of not knowing what to do. Maybe you’ve tried approaching women a few times and you want to stop failing. Conversely, you might already be on the path of improving your dating life but want to get better results. Again, these are natural desires.

It’s a fact that every time a man sees a woman who inspires quick, passionate thoughts and feelings, the desires he feels in these moments are just as natural.

As you take in how she looks, you realize she’s exactly the kind of girl you’d like to get intimate with, or get her to be your girlfriend.

The standard dating advice we always hear from mainstream media often doesn’t make sense – whether it’s a basic understanding of how women think, female psychology, or the type of men girls feel drawn to. If she’s lucky enough to meet such a man, she’ll spend time and energy chasing him, positioning herself close by so he sees her, etc. Or after an enthusiastic response to his opener, she’ll question him to find out more.

And as the interaction progresses, she starts to hope that he’ll ask her out or make a move so they can get intimate. She has pressing desires and inclinations, after all. Plus, we live in a society where it’s normal for girls to seek out experiences with men like these. The value of a man who can sweep her off her feet is sky-high.

How to Master Transition Phases and Be Smooth with Women

transition phases in seduction
When it comes to bedding women, getting from Point A to B can be rough. Learn to handle the key transition phases and the process will go a lot smoother.

Ever had a girl respond positively to your opener, maybe with sparkling eyes and a bright smile — yet the interaction fizzles out before you can get anywhere with her?

Or have you ever found yourself trying to seduce an attractive woman, things are going well, and both of you are feeling the flames of desire — but again, the interaction fails to progress toward an intimate conclusion.

“It was nice meeting you!” she says before leaving you standing at the bar.

Maybe you tried to invite her to sit somewhere private with you. But she tells you she needs to stay close to her friends. And moments later, those friends interrupt and take her away to the dance floor. Now and then you might have great nights when things just work in your favor. But most of the time, when you hit it off with a new woman, it seems like luck isn’t on your side.

Perhaps you prefer to meet women from day game. You bring new women back to your place regularly from dates or on the same day you approach them. However, when you have her alone sitting in your living room or on your bed, there seems to be an invisible barrier preventing physical escalation.

You’ve run into last-minute resistance in these situations many times before, and something tells you it’s about to happen again. At your place, she sits far away from you. And you already know it’s only a matter of time before she’ll make an excuse to leave.

If you regularly struggle with one or more of these frustrating scenarios as you meet and seduce women, then learning to handle your transitions better could make all the difference.

Social Acceptability and Sexual Acceptability in Dating

social and sexual acceptability
The more acceptable a match a woman thinks you are for her, the better your odds with her are. Here's what you must do for her to mark you 'acceptable'.

Since I started this website, we've always stressed the importance of fundamentals. Fundamentals range from your posture, facial expressions, and voice, to how you walk and move, your hairstyle, your facial hair, your clothes, your fitness, and physique. Also included: social fundamentals like sprezzatura, and how well you stick to the Law of Least Effort. All are great, and you will do better with women the better you get on each. But why are they important?

Fundamentals help so much because they make you more attractive. Get your fundamentals good enough, and you can even overcome your disadvantages. Girl doesn't usually like men of your height, weight, race, job type? Get your fundamentals good enough, and it becomes "Wow, you're not like the other [whatever you are]!" Why would this be, though? How do fundamentals overcome deep-seated biases in partner choice?

The way fundamentals do this is by raising either (or both of) your social acceptability or your sexual acceptability. Acceptability is a topic Alek's been discussing in his "Female State Control" series, under the name of 'social frame'. I want to unpack this concept more here, and look at a few of the different ways 'acceptability' can go. Because not all sorts of acceptability are created equal.

The Worst Battlegrounds for Getting Good with Women

getting good with women
Some dating methods are terrible for guys learning to attract the women they desire. If you’re learning game, do NOT focus on these battlegrounds.

I have noticed that many men are shooting themselves in the foot and purposely selecting battles and battlefields that are not beneficial for them when it comes to dating.

For example, when guys want to get laid, many will use:

With the right strategies and skills, you can find success is all those battlegrounds, but to be honest, all are relatively crappy compared to others available, especially for beginners.

Picking poor battlefields as the selected method for dating is also counter-intuitive – making this not only more difficult for themselves but also limiting their results and making the process much more frustrating.

This post is partly meant to express some frustration I’m experiencing and answer many commonly asked questions. This post will hopefully clarify my thoughts on simplifying the process of getting laid and finding girlfriends, and help guys make the best use of their time and energy.

Let’s get right to it.

14 Secrets to Being a Sexy Older Man

sexy older man
It’s the truth: women are attracted to sexy older men! Here’s how to age like a fine wine and bed girls who’ll cure your erectile dysfunction rather than cause it.

I’ve had a lot of clients who are insecure about their age. For many, they get older, but their desire for young women remains. They fear that they’ll lose their youth, and aren’t sure how to find their “sexy older man” appeal.

If you’re wise, you can be a hot, sexy older man, rather than the “gross” old guy. But it may take a little self-awareness, strategy, and work ethic.

 

Defining “Older”

For the purpose of this article, I’ll say “older” is between 40-60 years.

Life experience-wise, this is a huge age range. Much can happen in those 20 years. Your entire identity could shift and morph multiple times. You could start and end dozens of relationships, careers, have kids, grandkids, survive wars and cancer. Who you are at 40 won’t be who you are at 60, no doubt – just as who you are at 20 won’t be who you are at 40.

I’m not going to coach you on how to find meaning in your life as you spiral toward the grave. I’m just going to teach you 14 secrets to being a sexy older man, so you can still score those hot younger women without paying for it.

 

Are You a Sexy Older Man?

The brutal truth is that many of you will fade out of the dating market and become nearly invisible in the eyes of young, beautiful women. Why?

Because you are:

You’re out of shape, with a ring of gray around your skull, creases so deep they hide civilizations; you dress like a nerd, have a massive pot belly, and are completely out of touch with youth culture and interests.

But you still want those hot young girls. Or maybe you just want a fulfilling sex life with attractive women your age. Either way, these tips will get you on track.

What may be most important for you to understand is that there are plenty of men like yours truly, who at 41 still travel the world, go to parties, and bang girls in their early twenties. Likely I’ll still be able to do that when I’m 60, should I wish to.

What’s interesting about age is that I know fat and bald guys in their twenties and thirties who do great with women. So it’s not necessarily the lack of hair or a spare tire that scares the young beauties away. What is it, then?

Is it your style?

Your belief system?

Do you feel too old, that you should just date women your own age and not be a “dirty old man”? Screw that, right?

There are plenty of older guys who still get with women 10, 20, even 40 years younger than them.

For whatever reason, there’s something that these young women want, be it money, status, fame, power, wisdom, or preference. Women go with much older men, all the time.

Like many things in life, in order to achieve it, you have to believe it’s possible. Your mindset matters and you have to get real.

If you feel you’re too old, you will be. Whatever you feel, she feels. You believe, you project.

Ultimately, if you’re a stinky old geriatric, expect to pay for that loving.

That said, without further ado, let’s discuss how not to be a stinky old geriatric, but rather a sexy older man who can bed women he’s actually attracted to.

10 Most Common Reasons Guys Can't Get Laid

can't get laid
The reasons a guy can’t get laid may be simple, but more often it’s not so intuitive. Here are the usual suspects, some of which you may have never considered.

“Why Can’t I Get Laid?”

After many years of teaching pickup, I can narrow down the reasons why so many guys can’t get laid.

This article may help you self-diagnose some of your inner and outer game issues if you’re stuck in a vicious cycle of no sex. These tips will help you break free and score some lovin’ again – or for the first time.

So here are the top 10 factors I see in guys who just can’t get laid.

How to Develop a Sexy Voice That Captivates Women

how to get your sexy voice
Seduction is like music, where the instrument is your voice. Here’s how to develop a deeper, seductive voice that strikes a sexy chord with the ladies.

Ah, the voice. It’s one of the most powerfully seductive tools available to men. It’s extremely important for every seducer to develop his voice. Because when it’s used correctly, your voice will take your ability to lead, arouse, and even persuade women to astronomical heights.

You’ll even gain the ability to draw women in – right from the moment you open your mouth. This is an essential tool for dating success to ensure that you’re on the way to developing air-tight fundamentals, and it is especially important if you want to become a better conversationalist or use sex talk.

With a great voice, everything you say becomes inherently more interesting and emotionally stimulating. What’s more, this tool makes it much easier for you to ignite the flames of her sexual desire, filling her with lust just off the strength of your voice.

Women will more closely listen to what you have to say and be intrigued by it. And yet this key aspect of seduction is often overlooked by aspiring students of the game and experienced seducers alike – even though it’s one of the fundamentals for getting girls.

That’s why in this article we’re going to take a closer look at the voice. We’ll discuss what makes a good voice and detail steps you can start taking today to develop your voice to make sure that you’re on the way to getting this fundamental aspect of seduction down pat.

How Physical and Mental Health Impact Your Dating Life

health is attractive to women
Do looks matter? Yes! One reason for this is because women know that a healthy man – in body and mind – equates to better sex and a more fulfilling relationship.

As part of mastering the art of picking up women, you must master yourself. Taking care of yourself should be a high priority. The mind, body, and soul are the trinity that completes a person. When these three are in alignment, the results can be extraordinary depending on what your aim is. If you’re reading Girls Chase, your aim is probably to attract women.

You’re the one venturing through life, taking in experiences and grooming yourself into the man you want to be. When thinking about your life and health, it’s not only you who notices the improvements and changes. Women pay close attention to your lifestyle as well, because the decisions you make are a vote for who you will be in the future. Your life choices showcase your dominant and attractive qualities.

Really, combining health and life habits kill two birds with one stone. By taking care of yourself and your wellbeing, you are meticulously molding and crafting yourself for the better, which helps attract the women you desire. In a sense, this is a modicum of the Law of Attraction, right?

Hand Gestures That Make You More Attractive to Girls

hand gestures for talking to women
Your hands are always speaking, even from your pockets, so you may as well take them out and put ‘em to good use. Because they can say some pretty great things about you!

In a previous article, we discussed glamorous traits that any seducer can learn and adopt to boost his odds of creating a strong first impression with the women he meets. Now, anyone who’s been a part of the seduction community for a while, or a regular reader here at Girls Chase will know how important first impressions are for dating success.

A powerful first impression will make you memorable enough to stick in her mind – so she’ll want to respond to your ice-breaker text and solidify your chance of meeting up with her again for a date. A good first impression can also leverage the excitement generated by your initial impact on her to grow into a deep emotional and physical connection with you. It will enable the two of you to move at breakneck speeds, propelling you toward burning passion and sexual intimacy later that evening.

To put it simply, first impressions open various doors in seduction – and specific doors you want to open.

In the previous article where we dissected the concept of glamour, I briefly touched on the captivating power of hand gestures. In this article, we’ll be following up on this aspect of glamour. Let’s take a closer look at how you can use your hands to take your first impressions, emotional connections, and of course, your ability to captivate her to a completely new level of persuasive power.

8 Ways Men Over-Game Women in Pickup

over-gaming women
Guys who do pickup and seduction often over-game women; she’s ready to smash, but they keep spitting game. Here are some tips to avoid falling into that trap.

Are you making success with women more complicated than it needs to be?

Most likely you are. I know – because been there, done that.

In seduction, true beauty is found by taking something rough, disorganized, and raw, then whittling it down into its most pure, functional form. You strip away the excess until all that’s left are results. Or, at least, a sharpened tool, or polished art form.

That’s the idea anyway.

Back when I was a noob, there was this cute barista I wanted to bang. I didn’t realize at the time that I could have had her simply by saying “Hey, what are you up to tonight?” Instead, I’d go in there, order a coffee and practice my game on her.

I’d use push-pull, making fun of the way she wiggled her nose when she talked, or how her lips curled upwards when she was annoyed. I’d show her new gambits, like palm reading, or the horsey flowers routine. I’d do everything except pull the trigger and ask her out.

One day she’d had enough. In the middle of one of my jokes, she said, “Tony, why don’t you just get real with me?”

“Just get real.” Uggh. She was right. I’d been over-gaming. Trying way too hard. Practicing rather than seducing.

Taking something incredibly complex and skill-based seems as if it’s natural, easy – even effortless, as if you were born gifted. That’s the law of Sprezzatura. But to get to Sprezzatura, you’ll have to earn it.

It’s the process of earning your skill that leads you through the land of try-hard, where over-gaming rules the experience.

Rather than focusing on hundreds of theories and tactics, focus on maximizing your strengths and minimizing your weaknesses. Simplify your game.