Take Women to Bed: Successful Physical Escalation | Girls Chase

Take Women to Bed: Successful Physical Escalation

A week ago one of the readers of this blog, Alex, requested I get a post up on physical escalation and getting on with the seduction once you’ve got a girl back somewhere private. Alex’s comment:

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his Mastery Package.


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Dave's picture

Hey Chase, first I want to say I really enjoy your blog and that I've definitely learned some new things. I have a question/problem: I look young for my age (20) and I have a problem succeeding with older women. Is there anything I can do to help turn this around because I love the older women haha

Chase Amante's picture

Hi Dave, thanks for saying hello and really glad to hear you've learned some from the blog.

Yeah, I feel you on the older women thing. It was a problem for me until I hit about age 25 or 26... after that age it's not such a big deal, unless you're going for some real older ladies ;)

There's a lot of nuance with age, and it's a good topic, so I'll try to get a proper post up on it next week and that should help. In the meantime, if you don't have facial hair, I highly recommend growing some out if you can -- that will help a lot with looking older. So will getting a stylish hairdo.

You want to show women you don't really care about age, as it's one of the big things they're concerned with, which means you want to make maybe one brief comment about age dismissing it, then move on really fast. Like, older gals I have tell me their age, and then I make a very tongue-in-cheek remark like, "Oh, so that means you retire soon, right?" then move on instantly to other conversation.

There's plenty more on that one, but that ought to be a little bit to get you started. Look for a post on this next week, brother!

Until then,

Alex's picture

Thank you for the post Chase. You very broadly addressed the subject I was asking about. This is really helpful!

It was a busy weekend for me, only club game, know that numbers means almost nothing, but I'm still at the begining of my path, got around 10-15 numbers, which 4-5 of them I think are very solid as I had like 30 min to 1 hour conversation/leading interactions and they were great, almost immediately started buildig rapport. Some numbers I was just taking after like 5-10 sentences, just to see if my openers are and impression are good ;) Another 3 women were all over me in like first minute of interaction, didn't take numbers just left them and moved further, they were just regular, slim, nice teeth, kind of pretty girls, anyways on 0 or 1 scale, I would give them 1 that means I would do them. Two of them wanted to make out with me in like first minutes of interaction, but I said I don't kiss in clubs and to one of them that if she wants something more we can go to my place, but her friend (male) came and said something like: "Dude, I really don't mind if she stays with you, but I took them and drove them both here tonight and I promised I would be responsible for them and I have to take them both safely back home tonight.". I left her my number, but she didn't call.

I think four things made a lot of difference to me in the recent time.

1) When I'm really groomed I started to believe I'm kind of handsome, not the tall model type, but most girls like my look and I got complimented on that couple of times. Ofcourse it also made an impact on my beliefs and confidence.
2) I changed my hair, I just got a little different hair cut, but it made a real difference.
3) I bought shoes (not intentionally) that got me easily over 1" in height and it seems when I crossed 5'9" in them it also made a difference, I'm almost 5'10" in the mentioned shoes. I'm around 5'8" normally. One girl, with really nice body, as she is attending Physical Education college and plays volleyball, asked me about my height when I told her to tell me, she said I was 184cm (6 ft), she was 177cm (5.8 ft). With her it was a really solid interaction, she was into me I wanted to take her home (she was with a friend and I was with a friend, all 4 of us would go) and it seems that we were going to go, but after a while she said no and she said something like: "I'm not doing it on a first night" and I said something like: "I'm just a man, you can't blame me" and grabbed her ass again. I think she might think of me as a boyfriend material as we had a really meaningful conversation and was a little scared and felt uncomfortable when I was grabbing her ass in front of other people.
4). Got back to working out, I'm getting back into shape, I'm not jacked and big as a pro bodybuilder, but still my physique is decent, the volleyball girl was complimenting my chest and when I put her hands on it she was fucking giggling like a crazy.

Another thing is, I have a really good friend, who is kind of natural, alpha but not like some jerk, confident, tall, well build, good voice, looks like bad ass/bad boy but still good manners, facial hair, peaked cap (but not baseball one, it is really stylish). I can see when we are in the club we have instant attraction, when we stay at some place soon there are plenty of women around dancing and waiting for us to start interaction.

First impression is most important thing, then you just make sure you don't fuck up ;)

Chase Amante's picture

Alex, you're welcome, hombre. Glad you found the post useful!

15 numbers in a weekend is ridiculous, man. Sounds like you were cranking! Good work seeking to get that girl back to your pad... gets a little stickier when the friends aren't on board (particularly guy friends, who can be a bit more protective than girlfriends).

Props on getting your new look down. It's important to get out a lot when you first have a new look so you can get feedback, as well as build up positive reinforcement for your look when it's good and fresh.

Overall, very cool to hear you're making progress, brother. Here's hoping you get some of those girls out on dates this week and push for some first date success ;)


Alex's picture

Yes, me and my friend I mentioned above were like machines. However I still am not so good at talking spontaneously, openeres and coversations were kind of similar in all cases. I really start beliving that my looks, though I'm not really handsome and tall, played important role. Being with my alpha friend helped, subcommunication and first impression opened the door.

I still am somewhat playing with knowledge, as some girls that I took numbers from after spending longer time with them, five minutes later saw me talking to another cute girl and me touching her and her smiling and being open, so probably thought I was kind of a player or something, anyways I'll be calling and texting some of the girls from the weekend today. Wondering what to talk about but I'm not going to plan anything particural ahead, we'll see how it goes. I'll just bring food topics to tell them to come to my place to make something good to eat. I think that those I had decent rapport with could agree. I better start to think what to do when any of them agrees to show up at my place ;)

jimmy's picture

I've been reading your blog and am learning a lot! I have a couple questions thou. I am approaching the point where i will be considered a very sexy guy. (it helps that i am very physically good looking). But once i become that sexy guy should i still touch them subtley like on their lower backs, brush their hair back, caress their legs, pull them in close.etc but avoid touching their arms or legs while making a point in conversation?
Next question. You say that you need to move fast and close the deal on girls as soon as possible, like when you are first alone with them or you will usually loose the girl. But many times i don't end up going all the way with girls and only get blowjobs or makeouts in my car or on this rooftop near the bars. But probably 60% of these girls get real interested in me and want to see me again, but of course some don't. Most of the time thats all i want is a bj anyways. However sometimes i actually would like to get to know a girl and fuck her often. So if we just met and because of circumstances she can't bring me to her place(i live 45 min from city) should escalate as far as i can in my car and risk not closing her? It seems to me that it would be better to do something with her then nothing? Also i'm in the deep south and girls here care about being all proper..

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Jimmy,

As you get increasingly sexy, touching girls becomes less necessary. It's more important for guys who are starting out to cross the tension gap.

There's some debate about how much to touch a girl once you become sexy between my friends and I. I think occasional touch is still good; some men I know who are very sexy still touch women heavily, but the most prolific guys I know have it scaled down to very minor amounts of touch prior to intimacy.

I'd say, once you're very sexy, physical proximity is more important than actual touch.

I'll get a post up soon on how best to guarantee you see a girl again, but I'm a big believer in:

  1. Get fully intimate with a girl as fast as possible so that boundary has been crossed, and
  2. Make sure things end very well and smoothly as you say goodbye and send her a follow-up text so she doesn't feel "used"
  3. See her not more than a few days later

I'll get a full article up on that soon...


jimmy's picture

Hey i see what you mean. I really only do a little touching these days and have good results. I really appreciate the response! By the way i read that last 5% article like an hour before getting a blowjob on the beach. It encouraged me to take it as far as i could!

Anonymous's picture

Hey Chase,

First, I just found this blog and wish I'd found it ages ago. It's clean, well-written and meaty.

I'd love to hear what you think about this: Had a date with this girl tonight. Very cool chick and I really like her. She made me a steak dinner (if that's not an IOI I'm not sure what is).

I love cooking dates because kino is so natural, and this time was no different. I kino'd for a bit and then just grabbed her and kissed her. She acted cool and nonplussed.

I kino'd more throughout the night but playfully. Smacked her ass, held hands for a bit, and generally just had fun. We walked around and ended up back at her place. I had to work in the morning, so I had to go (in part, I think I pussed out because I'm not sexually confident despite my confidence in all other areas).

I tried to kiss her passionately and she resisted, which kind of threw me for a loop. What do you think man?

Again, fantastic blog. I just found it and I've already referred you to my friends.

All the best,

Chase Amante's picture

Howdy Soupertramp, thanks -- I like that description! Especially "meaty"! Substantial, yet... slightly naughty ;)

Yes, I know where you're coming from, and I've been down that road plenty of times in the past. You're there, you know she probably wants to get together with you, and you're just... waiting for the right moment. Or waiting to be less nervous.

And then it never happens.

I initially vanquished this in myself by setting a rough limit of ten minutes MAX for a girl to be alone with me before I had to kiss her (unless she seemed really nervous... I might spend a little more time putting her at ease first in that case).

Also, a few tips for getting past that initial point of physical escalation:

  • Check out the post on manhandle kisses if you haven't yet. It's a little... uh... more manly than Western society openly approves of these days, but it works because this is something that women actually like and get excited reading about in books and watching in movies and having have happen to them in real life.
  • If you're having trouble kissing her on the lips... start kissing her somewhere else. Neck, shoulders, arm -- all are good. Any other exposed flesh is good too. Use that to warm her up, and by the time you make it back to her lips she'll usually just attack you.

Hope this helps. Thanks for the referrals, brother -- and good luck with this gal! See you around, man.


Dave's picture

Hey chase,

this is really good stuffs the things you wrote. I've been reading your articles and could tell that you've reach the sweet spot that lies between the extreme. I've been to both "nice guy" and "ass hole" and I'm trying to find my balance here.

On physical escalation, I have intention to escalate by holding hands. You mentioned you don't recommend that move. Have you written your thoughts on holding hands? What are your views on the implication of this move?

Best regards,

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Dave,

Indeed -- it's that balance in the middle that's where you want to get to. All things in life, really -- most people lean to the far sides rather than find that happy medium in the middle of the curve where most of the success is. Probably just because extremes are easier than holding the middle ground.

On holding hands, well, I used to do it, but it's just way too... couple-y. It almost seems to communicate to the girl, "I like you a lot, in a really innocent, respectful way." It's like, welcome back to 19th Century Victorian England.

Just a personal feeling there... I've really tried to scrape all traces of "boyfriend potential" from the things I do with women, because even a bit of that stuff can really lead women to put the brakes on things and work to get you investing a lot more in exchange for the two of you becoming lovers.

Even when I lead women physically now while we're out and about, it's more "manly." Like, hand firmly on the small of her back, slightly pushing her forward somewhat, and again, firmly. None of the limp-arm-around-her-waist stuff that a lot of guys do... doesn't communicate what I want to communicate.

Basically, I ruled out hand-holding because I want a greater level of conversion with girls, and my findings have supported the theory -- I'd get a lot more resistance trying to take to bed girls I held hands with than girls I didn't.


jonathan's picture

I really admire your work sir, as a matter of fact I have bought two copies of your book, one for me and one for my bro and I have witnessed many changes in my dating life thx a million.

I have a specific question however which the book doesnt seem to address. I have this buddy(girl) weve known each other for a month now and with every chance I get I try to spice things up and move things closer to that sex place we ought to be. we often meet at an enclosed reading room in the library once a week and next week I have suggested we watch a porn flick, she didnt seem opposed to this at all so my question to you Mr Amante is how if ever we get to watching the porn movie do I escalate things to sex or maybe just recieving a blow job. I guess what I really mean is how do I motion her to perform on me if she is getting aroused witout seeming like a jerk or an out of control sex kid.

Chase Amante's picture

Hey Jonathan, appreciate the business, brother -- hope your bro's finding the book useful too!

When escalating with your friend -- and it does sound like she wants it quite a bit too, yeah -- keep things casual and keep them warm.

So, basically:

  1. Pop the porn on
  2. Turn off the lights
  3. Throw a sheet over the two of you and cuddle up together
  4. Put your arm around her as you cuddle close and pull the sheet up
  5. Start rubbing her a bit

From there, you've got some options.

Myself, I'd probably tell her, "Hey, feel this," and put her hand on my crotch when I'd gotten pretty hard and we were both feeling excited. I'd then have her start rubbing it, and I'd start playing with one of her breasts or rubbing her thigh with the hand that was wrapped around her. Once she seems pretty excited, unzip your pants and tell her, "Let's try this out," about whatever they're doing in the film.

Should be all gravy after that :D


Obi's picture

I just turned 21 ( virgo's are the best lol)

and Im a virgin, this never really bothered me cause it was just an after thought like whatever it'll come when it comes but ever since I turned 21 whats been going through my head is "damn im a 21 year old virgin, the fuck".

Its not like i can't get girls its just every time the opportunity comes i either ignore the obvious hints or completely blow it with my awkwardness

recently a girl has come my way that i connect with quickly, me and her study together and she agreed to watch a movie with me in my dorm
only problem is every time we study her friends are there but she constantly glares at me when we study ( idk what that means) my point is how do i make it known that i don't want her friends to come with without being rude and how do i initiate intimacy when me and her watch this movie.

another question is, is it really true that if you don't fuck when the opportunity presents a female loses interest cause there was one girl that I hanged with about 4 times in her room and my room, we did nothing but made out....i can tell she aint as interested as she was when we first met cause she never texts me but recently she hinted that she wants to chill....i don't get it

Anonymous's picture


So there was this one girl, and to keep a long story short, I got her into my car and we had escalated a bit, from a point where she didn't want me kissing her breasts, or rubbing her butt, to where her bra was off and she was moaning as I kissed her breasts, and to where I had her panties about halfway down. My pants were down, shirt was unbuttoned, and my "male part" was out in her hand. This is just a little background before I get to the sad part, well this was my second time meeting her, and we were in my car in a parking lot (
pay to park) and it seems my time was up on the meter. I noticed a security car coming in and when had to end our sexual escapade right there. Later that night after she had arrived home, she did message me on facebook (as her phone is broke) a little jokingly about how the hickey I gave her was more than a "fruit fly" and also posted another separate wall post (at the same time) about a seashell I had in my house that she wanted. So my question is things didn't seem to awkward afterwards, besides the fact she was a little quiet on the way home (she said she was tired), but do you think I have a chance to "finish" things off with her. How would you suggest that I go about taking the negative thoughts out of her head, that since it didn't happen that it wasn't meant to? Or maybe even is it possible that she is even looking forward to our next encounter?

Matt's picture

Hey Chase,

Let me first compliment you on the depth and complexity of this blog. I'm pretty blown away, well done sir.

I'll get straight to it. I'm 22 years old and am currently studying abroad (outside of the US) for University. I met a girl at the beginning of my sophomore year in the states. We had sexual tension right from the start and constantly walked the line between dating and friends, but I was inexperienced and not aggressive enough then and she was hung up on her ex. We slept together once, but I never established myself sexually like you say in your blog and she soon moved on. I allowed myself into the 'friend zone' out of frustration, and shes frequently gone out of her way it seems to ask me questions about other guys, despite knowing how I feel about her. Its been about a year since then and I am currently scheduled to return to the states July of this year. I recently received a message from her saying that she still has feelings for me and though i've been with many women since then and my confidence has grown, im still not sure how to respond, especially since there are still 7 months before I return.

My question is this: How can I go about re-establishing myself as a man? Is this a closed book? Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

Anonymous's picture

I met a girl who has a boyfriend, but she is quite receptive to me, i'm also touching her arm, elbow, waist(putting my hand there for quite awhile), and brushing pass her ass, with my hands of course.

She is always smiling and laughing, telling me to stop, say she got a boyfriend and moving away to get some distance.

She has already reject giving her number or going for a drink.

In this case what should i do?

Btw i love your website, seriously helped me a lot!

Ryan's picture

I just wanna say that I have alot of respect for this article and that it has alot of wonderful informations. I was excited to read it until I got to the part where you openly admitted that you knowingly pursued another man's woman. Whilst i get that every woman is kinda free game, I just hope you can see that some people come to this blog and read it in hopes of preventing people like you from doing exactly what you've done. Still a great article, lots of awesome info, but my respect level for the blog went seriously down after reading that part :(

Peter's picture

Dear Chase,
I found this post of your is very true. I followed this for 2 times and succeed. However, normally, I am attracted and want to have a girl friend who is a bit more conservative. And these girls are normally virgins.
If this girl is a virgin, will it make a big different from your technique or just take a bit more time before I take her to bed ?

MDS7's picture

Hey Chase!

Recently, I was making out with a girl in my car who has a bf. Everything was going well until I put my hand down her panties and on her ass; at this point, she snapped back to logical state and pushed me off. At that point she said "please take me home; dont touch me"

The thing is, I've noticed that girls tend to give resistance when I put my hand down them first; but all the times I've put their hands on my cock, the eat it up (literally!)

What is your take on this?

Alpha Edgy 's picture

I tried escalating by touching her hand while we were in the theater. But she resisted. I tried again, but she won't let me hold her hand. What does it mean? What should I do?

rrr's picture

Either you should have started smaller, with touching less private parts (like shoulders) or she wasn't into you, period.

Dave.'s picture

Hey Chase ,
Hottest woman I have dreamed of being
with opened up to me 100 physically
And continuously as she becomes emotionally
and logically connected with me.
On the last night , the vacation was almost over
,she wouldn't have anymore sex .
Next we became less connected to merely aquaintences.
How can one invest to boot ?

rickydicc's picture

This stuff is gold. Thank you!

snakecharmer's picture

Hi Chase,

Great article! I was just thinking of a question related to this this week. I had a question on holding hands, and as a man, I am faced with this dilemma when in a situation where I get someone's contact and meet the woman at a later date. So post "first date", usually light dinner & drinks, when inviting a girl to my place, I feel the awkwardness of trying to decide whether to hold her hands on the way or not. I live 5 minutes away from my favorite date locations, so I walk back. There's usually lots of light touching during conversation, but holding hands seems to be a different ballgame for me. I have to admit, I haven't gotten into the habit of asking women to come home after the first date - I was reared on the "don't try on the first date" faux rule for years - until recently when I realized the importance of going for it. The awkwardness vanishes after reaching home.

Interestingly, I never face this dilemma if I escalate things the same night of meeting the woman as the woman tacitly acknowledges that there will be intimacy later on in the night. Post "first date", I feel women are way more defensive than a same night pull - its also confusing in these days of blurred lines between "hangout" and "date".

Any suggestions?


Timothy's picture

Hey chase, me and my girl have been dating for about a month and a half now. My success with hook I g up and having sex the first night was due to you, also that night was the night I lost my virginity ( much thanks givin to you) But one thing that really irritates me is she refuses to give me head. I've managed to get her to go down on me about twice but it's only for about 1:40 sec at most. I really care about her but this aspect of out relationship really pisses me off. I was wondering if you had any tips about getting her attitude to change. I really are about her but if she refuses any longer I'm bound to leave her for I've done quite a deal of stuff for her ( my giving nature ) I don't want things to go sour but if things don't change I'm bound to loose it. After all blowjobs are flowers for men aha.

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