Ever find yourself in a funk, where nothing you did with girls
worked out? Sometimes it’s random. But sometimes it’s testosterone.
One of our more senior forum members, named Lao Che, has run into problems getting girls.
Lao Che’s in his early 40s, travels often, and was until recently a
regular hound dog. But then things fell off. He describes it as “I got
old really fast.” He had a few
relationships end poorly six months ago, and since then women won’t go
beyond flirtation with him.
For years, Lao Che posted one lay report
after another on the GC boards, often picking up girls the same night
out of bars or
sucking them into his world over a couple of dates and bedding them
with ease. What happened?
I don’t know if it’s exactly his scenario (would need a few more
details), but I suspect it is: most
of the time when I see guys have total results reversals like this –
where they go from lots of success with women, to no success with women
– it’s a testosterone problem.
Testosterone problem? What’s that? What’s the cause... and why would
getting T-levels flowing again after they’ve ebbed way down bring
your results back up with women, too?
That’s the topic of today’s article: the low-T funk, what it looks
like, how to identify it, and how to get back out of it. Don’t
worry. I’m not going to give you any magic T-level rising potions to
consume. But we will be talking ‘man stuff. If your T-levels are off,
this is the stuff we’re going to get you doing to bring those levels
Sexual tension is a potent magnet for the girls you most want.
But what is it, and how do you generate it? With intrigue, limbo, and
Hey guys, and welcome back. Today I will stick to the plan and delve
further into the non-verbal aspect of seduction. That being said, all
my recent posts on the subject should already contain enough
information to get you laid, as the most crucial basics were covered –
not to mention all the additional cool tricks I tossed in to increase
Now prepare yourselves – the
upcoming posts will be more advanced
and more complex in nature. Not only will we get into more
(and perhaps even vague) concepts, we’ll also get more into the
details. If you aspire to make your overall non-verbal game tighter,
then these posts are for you.
Some of these posts may also be useful
for those of you who desire more interesting and pleasurable seductions
(many forget that the seduction process can also be something
pleasurable instead of purely instrumental!).
So today I will discuss sexual tension – a powerful
thing, yet a
very vague concept. It is a very hard thing to explain, but once you
experience it with a girl, chances are you will hook up with her. So
let us in this first post try to demystify the concept, then in the
next post discuss how do create it – and more importantly, control it.
Let us being by covering what sexual tension is.
However, I believe pedagogically speaking, it is a good
thing to get the same material explained in different ways, with
different structure and different context.
And there will likely be a
few things in here that you have never thought of.
I will do my best to
add in some juice for you veterans, but I will also cover a few basics
in order to recap key ideas while providing a good introduction for new
Due to the importance of the subject of touching in regards to
non-verbal seduction, I have decided to make this a three-part post;
this first installment will cover more theoretical implications, while
the next will be more practical. Further down the road, I plan to cover
different ways of touching in addition to more advanced concepts, such
as the “ladder,” mutual escalation, and the use of fractionation in
Let us begin this post by explaining why physical escalation is key
– and I am sure the explanation will cover more than what you
Pedro Pascal’s portrayal of Oberyn Martell is unabashedly sexy. What makes his character so compelling? Fundamentals, panache, and finesse.
There are times in life when we cross paths with men – real men –
men whose very presence sparks a reaction within us: “Wow, here is a
man. I want to be just like him.”
This particular awe-inspiring male personality may differ from
person to person, but each of us have had that experience. Whether it’s
a father figure, a brother figure, a mentor, or a perfect stranger, we
hope to spend enough time around that person to absorb their traits and
learn what they know about masculinity, life, and women.
However, in a world where masculinity is becoming more demonized and
ridiculed, these men aren’t so easy to come by, and they aren’t always
in a position to teach us in a meaningful way. These days, it’s common
to be without access to powerful male role models. Sometimes all we
have to rely on are books and film. We watch a movie, a TV show, or
read a book... and into the scene strolls a man – he may be fictional,
but goddamn is he mesmerizing. So we pay attention.
We often connect more with someone on a screen or page than we do
with anyone else in real life. Personally, there are a host of
fictional characters who have played a more substantial role in my
growth as a man than most real men I’ve met. They were ideals of the
writer or creator transformed into beings worthy of emulation. And this
is nothing new. Ever since the first story was told, men have emulated
the traits of their heroes, real or fictional.
The inception of this series actually began with Giacomo Casanova.
While reading his memoirs, I thought “This guy’s story needs to be told
in a modern form.” I planned on rewriting his adventures, then deeply
analyzing his lays (which number over a hundred and include royalty) so
that GC readers wouldn’t have to work their way through the beautiful
yet difficult translations of his 17th century Italian.
When I dropped that project, however, a very similar idea came to me
– why not analyze the many men of television, cinema, literature, and
history, who are outstanding examples of power and sensuality?
Thus was born “Seduction Spotlight.” The name should speak for
I will show you in detail how these characters seduce women,
dominate their foes, and exemplify other masculine pursuits, such as
achieving one’s dreams. Through this analysis you should then be able
to truly understand how they do what they do, and, in turn, do it
yourself (adhering to the laws of your land and time, of course).
With this inaugural article, then, I will shine that spotlight on my
personal favorite, Oberyn Martell of the TV show Game of Thrones,
inspired by the Song of Fire and Ice book series written by
George R.R. Martin. Oberyn Martell is played by the actor Pedro Pascal.
Since Oberyn’s character only aired for a little under forty minutes
in the fourth season of Game of Thrones, I cover nearly all his scenes
in order to highlight his fundamentals, game, and mindsets. I’ll cite
the episodes if you want to follow along on your HBO Go, but I’ll also
provide YouTube links for each scene (some YouTube vids are censored).
Here are a pair of videos that cover every scene he’s in if you want
Seductive eye contact is about more than eyelids and gaze
direction. With these 3 basic eye contact rules, plus a few advanced
tactics, you’ll melt her.
Lately I have been making posts on non-verbal seduction.
seduction is a lot of fun and has a lot of benefits – such as being
possible in loud clubs. If you’d like my lesson on pulling off verbal
seduction in a loud club, here it is: you can’t. This is why those of
us (myself included) who enjoy using fancy verbals tend to avoid loud
clubs or stick to smoking and lounge areas.
But this will no longer be a problem, for today we will go further
down the rabbit hole of non-verbal seduction. One common misconception
is that non-verbal seduction is easier than verbal seduction. This is
wrong. However, it is important to keep in mind that it is easier to
occasionally “get lucky” and enjoy freebies with non-verbal seduction.
Becoming consistent and enjoying
repeated success, on the other hand,
is hard. This requires more than just “gazing her down” and
her like a caveman.
This forces us to become more calibrated and develop more than a
simple “trained eye” and that “smooth vibe” that usually
field experience. To achieve success and avoid failure, it is still a
prerequisite to gain knowledge. And in order to get good at non-verbal
seduction, one has to get deeper in the analysis of those concepts,
which at first glance to a “clueless” eye, may seem banal. For good
non-verbal seduction, the devil is indeed in the details.
In last week’s article, we discussed the oftentimes overlooked yet
crucial subject of positioning. Today’s topic, eye contact,
different. Now, keep in mind that this post, the previous post, and the
upcoming posts related to non-verbal seduction will cover techniques
that can also be used when delivering verbals; for example,
eye contact is obviously key in any form of seduction but is absolutely
vital in non-verbal seduction – for obvious reasons, these are the only
tools you have at your disposal when verbals are rendered useless. When
given fewer “tools” to operate with, perfection is required.
Your body positioning when you approach a new girl tells her a
lot about you, fast. If you want to make sure you send the right
signals, you want to get the positioning right.
Since lately we’ve been discussing non-verbal seduction,
I decided to go a bit further and discuss the actual tools for
non-verbal seduction. These upcoming posts will cover in depth some
commonly known tools, but they will also discuss some oftentimes
disregarded tools that are actually vital – remember that with
non-verbal seduction, the devil lies in the details.
To illustrate this properly, I’ve decided to make today’s topic
We will base our analysis on clubs and bars, but the
exact same principle applies for parties and day game. The reason I use
the club is because positioning is more important in this atmosphere
and has more nuances in typical night game spots.
By positioning, I am referring to
your body’s position relative to
the female with whom you are interacting (or trying to interact
if we are talking pre-approach) – where your body is facing, your
distance from her, and even the particular spot where you’re standing
can be a big factor. We will discuss all three phases of body
three sections covering three broad seduction phases, namely:
The Pre-opening (before you engage)
The Post-opening (just after you engage – often described as the
The Seduction Phase (I am not only referring to when you are
making out, or back at your place, but the phase where you have opened,
she is hooked in, and you have some rapport, and preferably you are in
isolation with her)
Let us now discuss how positioning works during the first phase.
You can be attractive to girls before you even open your mouth.
You do this with presence: the hypnotic, mesmerizing masculine quality.
Hey guys. Today I will discuss a vital topic,
rarely discussed – namely, presence.
Most guys are so
focused on what to do in an interaction with women they forget the
stuff before the interaction.
This forgetfulness is understandable... After all, it is hard to focus
on too many things when you are new. The conversation itself seems so
immediate it can be hard to focus on anything else. And yet, the phase that precedes the
play a tremendous role.
I will not discuss screening in this post, even though
the screening phase is part of this crucial pre-interaction stage. If
interested in screen and approach-invitation triggering, do not worry,
there are more than enough posts covering the subject:
What we will focus on here is how one can be attractive from a
distance – without even opening your mouth – before even approaching
a girl. And even though we kind of touched upon that in my previous
article, let’s dig a bit further into actual tips and tricks you can
apply today. However, my previous post does serve as a great foundation
for this one (so if you have not read it, check it out: “Warm Up with Physical Momentum and Get Laid
Let us start with a fundamental topic before we get into the juicy
Several times over the years, both on this site and in our
discussed compliments: both how to compliment, as well as
when to do it, what compliments work best, and even a few nonverbal tricks to make
your compliments more convincing.
Despite that, I notice most guys still don’t compliment much, and I
suspect this is largely due to a few common fears around complimenting:
“What if my compliment draws attention to my own
“What if it sounds like I’m just trying to ingratiate
“What if I inflate her ego too much?”
I’m not going to tell you those fears are preposterous, because
those things do happen.
However, I will tell you
those fears are most likely overblown.
And I’m also going to tell you that if you even have these fears at
all, you have little to worry about when it comes to paying compliments.
Let’s tackle some of these concerns though, and address what’s
I hear too much garbage in the pickup community from guys who do
not know what they are talking about in regards to game; too many
beginners with good marketing skills, charlatans who want your money,
or guys with good skill but who do not understand what it is they are
doing that is actually helping them out and pointing at some obscure
technique they think is the one true key to success. Well this is the no bars guide to what will
get you good with women in the shortest period of time.
What I am going to review here is once and for all what will and
will not help you. And once we know what is helpful diving into each
point, you may better harness your learning curve and make massive
gains in regards to your abilities with women.
I have found each of
these present in everyone with massive success with women, and
take them seriously you too can have the same skills as even the most
wildly talented seducers.
Are you interested? Are you on the edge of your seat? I hope so.
Now, what should you focus on and what will waste your time?
When I decided to start gunning hard for significantly improved
social skills in 2004, that was when I had to come to grips with how
hopelessly miserable my current social skills were, and how hopelessly
far behind I was socially compared to everybody else.
Some part of me enjoyed being the total outsider, because I enjoyed
the independence of the man apart, the one cut off from
society. I figured this would make my eventual triumph all the more
poetic. It was only when I set about trying to bring that triumph about
that I came to realize it would be even tougher than I’d estimated.
What I quickly discovered was that even some of the most basic
social rules were alien to me. What do people talk about? How do they
join conversations and move between groups? How do they not trip
over their own feet socially and look dumb and find themselves excluded?
I’d already developed a good wit and the ability to tell an entertaining story
by that point, so I wasn’t flying completely blind. But general
conversation – interacting with other human beings in a setting in
which I was not the guy on stage, cracking jokes or spinning stories
or showing off my musical talents, was unknown to me. And was most
human interaction... I couldn’t lean on jokes or
tales or busting out freestyles to help there.
So, this one goes out to the social newbs, starting off hopelessly
behind everybody else, realizing the rest of mankind has a 10+ year
head start on them in learning how to socialize.
Let me tell you what I did, and give you some suggestions about what
you can do.