How to Smooth Talk like a Pro

The gift of gab can be learned, but it involves more than just words. True smooth talkers master a range of elements that culminate in a complete performance.

Smooth talkers have a deep understanding of what makes a great conversation.

A conversation’s “smoothness” is defined by how it handles transitions – how it moves from one topic to another or goes deeper into a particular topic. It is also defined by how the conversation’s errors are handled (e.g., awkward points, miscommunications, etc.).

The fewer “errors” in a conversation, and the better those errors are handled, the more smooth a conversation will feel. But transitions must also lead somewhere – a conversation can be smooth but boring, and that’s not worth much.

Thus there should be good emotions involved. A conversation shouldn’t only be smooth and fun, but also enriching.

You want the other person – or people – to walk away having learned something, felt a great connection with you, and gained more respect for your character.

What’s difficult to teach about conversation, of course, is the details.

“What do I say?”

If you expect me to tell you what to say, you’ll be disappointed. What to talk about depends on the environment, the context, the people. The occasional anecdote can be great if the context is right for it. But going in with pre-fabricated conversations can backfire, because a good conversation is dynamic. Conversations are note speeches.

What matters most is being able to start a conversation, then keep it going no matter where it goes. Context is everything with a conversation. The ability to make the conversation interesting depends on your familiarity with the context, whatever it may be.

There is one secret that I learned to developing good conversational skills, but it is not in and of itself the answer, only a force that propels you. At the end of this article, I will reveal it, but in order to utilize it, you’ve got to know the basics.

So, to start, I will teach you a system to learn how to smooth talk like a pro. If followed properly, people will seek out your company, because they know the value and the positive motions that will follow in the wake of your presence.

Let’s get to it.

 

The Fundamentals of Speech

The fundamentals of conversation include your vocal tonality, your vibrato, your cadence, your rhythm of speaking, your volume – every aspect of the voice as an instrument.

But a complete presentation involves more than just the voice. Everything that can be felt, seen, and heard needs to be considered. For example, facial expressions and body language.

People can’t see into your mind or your heart; therefore, your presentation must be tight.

We have plenty of help here on Girls Chase – articles on how to get a sexy voice, better posture, good body language, and intriguing facial expressions.

If you don’t have these things down, the rest of the advice in this article falls apart. And all these things are developed through practice (like everything else in this article).

 

Transitions

Even the best conversation can fall apart at any moment. So you must keep it moving. Or, if you know how to use silence correctly, that’s an option, too.

Transitions must adapt to the interest of the parties involved. To decide whose interest to follow first, you must determine the goal of the conversation.

If the other person in the conversation is new to you and not yet converted into a friend, then it’s best to talk about what they want. Transition into a conversation they find interesting. Their interests can be quickly identified by noticing where they tend to steer the conversation. Do they talk a lot about a certain topic? Do they get enthusiastic when a topic comes up?

That’s where you go.

And how you transition is simple.

 

Focus

Dive deeper – we have a term for that. Deep diving. It’s how you find out someone’s genuine interests, their hopes, their fears, their dreams – their everything. Dive deeper into something when you sense enthusiasm.

If a topic elicits enthusiasm, get those flippers on.

Deep diving is as easy as asking general questions about it.

“Why did you get into law?”

“What interested you about finance?”

Or you can ask specific, more thoughtful questions.

“How did you know that you should pursue engineering 3 years into a literature degree? Why the switch? You obviously loved studying literature!”

You gain the specificity of the conversation by paying attention to what they’ve already told you and your own assumptions/guesses about their behaviors and motives.

Skim the surface – this is commonly known as “small talk.” The linguistic distinction between this and deep diving isn’t in what you say, but how you say it.

“Oh, why did you do that?” is very different from “Ohhhhhh, why?!”

The latter displays more interest, while the former is more fluff.

The best time to skim the surface is when something isn’t interesting to either of you.

Of course, you don’t only have to talk about what is interesting to him or her. You can talk about what interests you, but if you're in a group,  it really helps to be a high-ranking member (or, if you just met them, they already respect you a lot). This is important because, if you’re not interesting with how you talk about what interests you, you will quickly bore the hell out of other people. Again, this comes down to fundamentals and your ability to enrapture an audience.

But a lot of conversation is fluff talk, the purpose of which is to keep the conversation light and floating. Deep diving should be done only when well-timed (i.e., they seem interested in the topic and it fits the vibe of the conversation).

I can teach you the general nature of how to do it, but not when to do it, because each conversation is different.

To not waste your time reading this article, you must go out and meet people; have conversations with them. I have had tens of thousands of conversations. You do not need to have so many, but if you are to improve in any way at conversation, you must converse.

To believe otherwise is madness.

 

Language Skills

How do you develop language skills? Read books. Lots and lots of books.

Learn how diction works and what words work in what situations. Sometimes a fancy word does well. Most times, a simple word works best. It helps to be able to say the same thing in many different ways, because different words give different vibes, even if they have similar definitions.

The only way to learn new words is to expose yourself to them.

Books. Books. Books.

This is where the bookworm gains an advantage... that is, if he manages to look up every now and then.

You do not need to be a walking thesaurus to be a master conversationalist, but it helps. A lot.

Learn how syntax works. Words fit together in some ways well, and in other ways not so well. Most of it has to do with acoustics – what sounds better when you say it out loud? Some of it has to do with coherence – what word combination makes the most sense?

Knowing how to smash and mix words together in an attractive way is the task of a writer or orator. Or a master conversationalist.

Remember, smooth is a feeling.

That feeling is better conveyed when delivered on a smooth track of words.

 

Empathy

To adapt to what another person wants to talk about, you need to be attuned to what they are feeling. Sympathy helps a lot. If you know what a person is feeling, or you feel what they are feeling, you can deliver the appropriate response.

If they aren’t feeling good about a comment, you can abandon the topic. Or, sometimes, you can dive deeper and discover why they don’t feel great about that topic. Oftentimes fear, hate, and sadness can be great topics.

If the person is enjoying a topic, pursue it further. Dive deep or dance among similar topics. Move from a good topic to a related GREAT topic – something more aligned with what they LOVE.

You need finely tuned empathy for this, which is built in to every human brain. But empathy can also be learned.

 

Reduce Errors

Errors include awkward moments, tense moments, miscommunications, giving offense, and otherwise poorly-articulated speech (e.g., people can’t hear what you said).

Eliminate these as often as possible. This is done through the mastery of the previous tips. Learn more accurate words to describe your thoughts and feelings, so that you are not misunderstood. Speak clearly and project so that people don’t have to ask twice to hear what you said. Good timing also helps avoid making people feel unnecessarily offended.

That being said, there are times when you must be offensive because you must state what you believe, even if the other person doesn’t like it. This isn’t always the correct path to take, but sometimes it is. A man must say what he believes. If you feel what you’re about to say is too controversial for the situation, sometimes it’s best to remain silent, because it’s not worth the trouble. But if you’re challenged or presented with the opportunity to speak up, you should. Only experience and your personal code can determine this timing.

Other times, you will unknowingly offend or make a conversation turn awkward. You must know how to recover from this. Seeing as awkward moments are inevitable, becoming comfortable with awkwardness and knowing how to quickly transition from them is important.

See my video on the subject:

 

Review Your Conversations

This is how you improve every day. Unless you have zero conversations one day, you can always review a conversation and learn something from it.

• Did you speak as clearly and confidently as you could have?
• Did you look them in the eye when you should?
• Did you talk about what interests them, or did you bore them?
• Did you entertain yourself?
• Did you try a new word? Did you try to mix up your syntax?
• Were your intentions always clearly conveyed, or did they misunderstand you?

Reviewing your conversation should be a normal activity, no matter what stage you’re at with social skills and seduction. Almost every conversation of mine gets at least a few minutes (or a few hours) of review. I go over what was conveyed between the parties involved, how communication could have been improved (both on my end and theirs), and how I will handle similar situations going forward.

I also anticipate future conversations of a similar nature and consider ways to improve them preemptively. I am always preparing myself for the next conversation, because my ability to communicate with those I interact with is a paramount skill.

 

Curiosity

This is the ultimate key to all smooth conversation. You must display curiosity.

For example:

• Are you curious about the thoughts of others?
• Are you curious as to the motivations of others?
• What drives your friends?
• What drives that random person over there?
• Why does that girl live the life she does?

If none of those things interest you, then you will struggle to have smooth conversations.

You can, of course, follow my mechanical advice, because I don’t expect all of you to be interested in the souls of others. That’s fine. Use my tips to achieve your goals with people and women however suits you best.

But if you are not genuinely curious about the hearts, minds, and souls of others, you will not achieve the greatest heights of conversation.

And that’s okay. Not everyone wants to be a world-class smooth talker.

 

The Music of Conversation Is the Key to Smooth Talk

Combine all these elements together – curiosity, transitions, error-reduction, review, language skills, etc.

What you get is what I call the music of conversation.

Every conversation has its pace:

• It amplifies at varying times
• Its tone changes
• Its volume changes
• And its chord changes

Learn to hear the music, and “smooth” won’t be some abstract term; it’ll become a feeling you can quickly and instinctively tune in to.

The music is always playing.

Hector