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Will That Girl Be Hard to Get? Why You Never Really Know

Alek Rolstad's picture

is she hard to get
Are your biases keeping you from approaching girls based on their looks or personality, when in fact those things rarely determine whether she’s hard to get?

Hey guys, and welcome back. Last week we discussed whether getting laid was easy or difficult. We looked at different factors that determine the ease or difficulty of getting laid.

Our conclusion was that it differs – getting laid can sometimes be super easy if you get lucky, and super hard if the world is working against you.

We then concluded that what is truly difficult is getting laid with high-quality women consistently. In my opinion, this can only be attained by being a celebrity or practicing pickup full time (the latter is the easiest way). Whether or not that is your goal, resources like this website will help you get lucky more often with better women. How far you want to take it is up to you.

Today’s post is dedicated to beginners – as a motivator. Many beginners may agree with my points from last week but intuitively feel that something is off. Here we have someone who has been practicing pickup for over ten years telling them pickup is not necessarily hard (although not “easy” as some may claim), yet their experience says otherwise because their skill level is low. That is normal. The better you become in any field, the more natural it becomes.

But for beginners, things can seem hard, especially if your last encounter required a lot of work.

And yes, as stated last week, certain interactions, with certain women, on certain days can be harder than others. That is also normal. It does not mean that their next lay will be as hard. There is no guarantee of that. It could be harder, and it could be easier. You never know what the future will bring.

But let’s get objective for a bit (or at least try to). The truth is, many beginners miss-assess the situation and would perceive certain women as more difficult than others, when in fact they are not.

This post is meant to discuss this phenomenon and challenge certain biases which many men have – especially beginners. This post has a very optimistic feel to it, and you probably will be left with a more optimistic view when dealing with future encounters.

More experienced seducers may also enjoy this post.

Sexual Escalation with Shy Girls vs. Not Shy Girls

Varoon Rajah's picture

sexual escalation shy girls
Shy or not, the secret to getting a girl in bed is to move fast. But is the process of escalating to sex different with shy girls? Yes, and here’s how to do it.

This article is the unfortunate outcome of my many failures in pulling and escalation. People around me who know about my day game skills have been envious about my ability to meet a girl anywhere, any place, with little to no fear or anxiety. Guys tend to trip up most when it comes to approach anxiety and getting the guts to approach women – this doesn’t exist in my domain; I got over that fear many years ago.

Currently, my biggest sticking point has been at the very end of seduction – in the moment of pulling the girl back to my place, and in the moment of escalating with her. I must have lost over 200 girls by failing in the most critical point in the seduction – the moment when she’s already decided she wants to sleep with me, and I messed up with delivering on her wishes.

In this article, and in my next article series where I will discuss female self-esteem through all stages of seduction, we’re diving deep into how to escalate and close the deal with a girl when she’s at home alone (or wherever) with you, ready to have sex. Although different guys have different means to go about doing this, my focus here is on simplicity – how to read her and get her in bed with you depending on what kind of interest she shows in you.

Despite all my failures, there have also been many successes. Often failure is the best teacher – because through failure, you internalize a pattern so that you never trip up on it again, unless the pattern changes. So from my own failures as well as successes, let’s look at what patterns have visibly emerged.

Hit-and-Run Tactics for Picking Up Girls in Groups

Alek Rolstad's picture

hit-and-run pickup for girls in groups
Picking up girls in groups can be tedious (male competition, bitchy friends). These hit-and-run tactics soften up defenses and set you up for when you re-engage.

Hey guys. Welcome back. Today I decided to write a follow up to my group theory post and also reference my post on screening (sniper game) that I wrote two weeks ago. The reason is that both these subjects are related in that they cover the early phase of male-to-female interactions, namely the opening and the hook.

Screening for inaccessible girls will affect the dynamic of how you deal with a group. Those subjects are somewhat related. For example, if you screen for a group and one girl seems bitter, that will affect the way you deal with that group. Similarly, if the vibe of the group seems closed-off, that could also affect the dynamic of the group.

But I will not repeat myself too much, as this has already been covered. Today I want to review a technique that I've discussed before. Let’s talk about how to deal with groups and difficult groups.

Hit-and-run means going up to a girl, delivering some good material, and quickly getting out of the interaction. The idea is to:

  • Create intrigue (by leaving, you create the “who is that guy” effect)

  • Create comfort (by leaving, you communicate that you are not needy or pushy)

  • Handle resistance – for instance, if you deliver a very direct sexual line and you leave before they are allowed to react, the effects will stick but the resistance will be dodged

  • Create tension and stimulate her mentally by the fractionating effects

In a previous post where I wrote about hit-and-run, I discussed how you can use this technique to dodge the approach shield. This is when a girl acts bitchy when you approach her. By leaving a girl after you approach her, you communicate that you are not needy and pushy, which makes her more likely to accept your presence. Add intrigue to this, and you get a good mix.

In another post, I discuss how to use this concept to deliver very powerful sexual lines. Go in, deliver something juicy, and leave before she can resist. Enjoy the effects without the resistance.

And lastly, by doing lots of hit-and-runs to build social proof quickly via many quick interactions, you become perceived as the man who knows everybody – and more importantly every girl.

I will not be discussing many new ideas in this post but instead tie it all together in light of how to deal with groups, particularly those that pose a challenge (less-accessible groups).

So let’s discuss how you can use this hit-and-run strategy to deal with common but difficult scenarios.

4 Easy, Proven Ways to Start Talking to Women (or People)

Chase Amante's picture
start talking to women
Sometimes when you go out to meet girls, you're lazy. Or you're rusty. Or it's hard to get going. Use these 4 tactics to start talking to women with ease.

We've written a lot on here about approach anxiety in the past.

Approach anxiety of course is the trepidation you feel before you approach someone new.

See a pretty girl you'd like to talk to? You freeze up and feel fear before you can.

At a networking conference and need to make business contacts? Freeze up in fear.

Anxiety before an approach is a common human feeling. It is not only something that happens with approaching women. You'll feel it any time you need to make an approach where you care about the outcome. If you have to approach your boss to ask for a raise... or your teacher to ask for a chance to make up that test you failed... or a roommate you suspect has stolen something from you but you aren't sure.

If you care about the outcome, and need to approach and engage someone else, there will usually be some anxiety there. Because you'll worry "What if I approach, and this person won't give me what I want?"

The anxiety is there to force you to take a moment to consider how, exactly, to get the outcome you want.

Yet with women, especially in cold approach scenarios (where you're walking up to someone you do not know), you'll often only have a handful of seconds to make the approach. Fail to make it on time, and the girl is gone.

This article gives you four quick, simple little tactics you can use to get yourself to approach.

Note that these tactics are geared more toward intermediate and advanced playboys who are able to approach, and just need an extra push to get off the sidelines. If you struggle with heavy approach anxiety, skip to the section at the end (where I link up some material on dealing with that).

Assuming you're able to approach, however, and just need to up your consistency, then pick one (or more) of these, use it, and you'll kick off a bunch more conversations with women (or other people, if your approaching is for purposes other than dating).

A New Take on Mystery’s Group Theory for Meeting Girls in Groups

Alek Rolstad's picture

new take on mystery's group theory
Group Theory came to the seduction world via the Mystery Method. Here I challenge some of its underlying mechanisms and give my own take on picking up girls in groups.

Guys learning pickup and seduction often find that pulling a girl from a group can be a bit challenging. How do you take a girl home with you if she’s out with a group of people? How do you handle her friends?

These are crucial questions that need to be asked if you want to become a master of the social and seductive arts.

If you are into meeting girls in bars, clubs, or social gatherings, this post is a must read for you.

In the pickup world, this is usually referred to as “group theory” and has been discussed from the early days of pickup and seduction. It’s interesting that the theory of the early days (coined by the famous seducer Mystery) has remained largely undebated. I haven’t seen it discussed much or even criticized. It has been the “meta” since then (there have been some disagreements but they are minor compared to many other themes).

However, I do not fully agree with classic group theory. I will get into why that is. That said, there is truth in it, and it does work very well in some situations. I will also discuss that.

We will also talk about alternative theories and strategies.

Who is this post meant for? In my opinion, everyone! If you are new to this vast world, then this goes under what we at Girls Chase would label as fundamentals (things you must know and have control over before getting into the fancier stuff). Therefore, this post is a must read. It will not be too hard to pull off in real life, although there may be some heavy theorizing. Honestly, it does not matter if you don’t remember all the theory if you grasp the essence of this post and manage to apply the techniques properly.

If you are an experienced reader, then you probably know by now what I think of recaps. There is no such thing as too much recapping of fundamentals.

And maybe you will learn a few things.

Note: we will not be discussing mixed groups in this article because it would require its own post, particularly on how to deal with male competition. Let me know in the comments if this is of interest to you.

Sniper Game: How to Screen for Accessible Women in Bars and Clubs

Alek Rolstad's picture

sniper game screen for accessible women
Is that girl open for an approach? Here’s how to scope out the most accessible girls in a venue – or make the one you’re after more accessible!

Hello, everyone. Today I will discuss some pickup strategies that can make your interactions with girls in clubs and bars easier.

The subject of this post will be screening.

Screening means looking for receptive girls to approach and assessing how accessible a girl or a group is before approaching.

I have mentioned this subject many times, spread across many posts but never dedicated a post fully to it.

We will discuss screening for good and available targets and what to do when we find a girl or a group that is not accessible.

Screening game, or “being a screener,” is usually defined by being like a sniper. Instead of haphazardly jumping into the cold water, you become more like a tiger watching his prey before attacking.

This is a useful method if you want to increase the success rate of your approaches. You get an idea of how receptive a girl will be before approaching. It’s good for small venues where people can easily see you get rejected if you fail – which is not something you want.

It is also a smoother way to seduce.

The 30-Second Rule and Other Night Game Strategies

Tony Depp's picture

night game strategies
Guys often get approach anxiety because they don’t have a strategy: something to start and drive the interaction. So here are some proven night-game strategies for ya!

I used to have this fantasy, sort of like that Sonic Youth video where these two teenagers are staring longingly at each other across a mosh pit but the guy is too shy to approach. The mosh pit eventually bounces them serendipitously into each other.

Before I discovered pickup, I only went to bars to drink, see live bands, and hope that fate would push a hot, lonely, hipster girl into my lap. When I stepped into the mosh pit, I’d just get smashed around into some sweaty punk’s armpit. It wasn’t long before I realized the only dudes there getting laid were in the band.

Then I discovered the pickup community and all its politically incorrect but incredibly effective dating advice.

Out of all the concepts like teasing, negging, displaying higher value (DHV), and cold reads – I’d say the most useful advice is the three-second rule.

What’s the three-second rule?

  1. See a hot girl
  2. Approach her within three seconds (before your stupid brain talks you out of it)

The 3-second rule is great for newbies. But it’s not necessary for advanced guys. I prefer sniper-style game – analyzing my target, gathering data, and not moving until the situation provides maximum effectiveness or maximum results for the least amount of energy.

Advanced night gamers don’t have that annoying little voice that the 3-second rule overrides. We know how to shut it up, or at least ignore it.

The little voice sounds like this:

People will see you. You don’t know what to say. She looks like a bitch. Get a drink first. Maybe you should hit the gym for a month first. Check your Tinder. You can try again tomorrow.”

Pickup Priorities: What to Focus on in Each Phase of a Seduction

Alek Rolstad's picture

priorities in pickup and seduction
Knowing what to focus on in each phase of a seduction will facilitate a smooth end game. Get your priorities straight, and all else will fall into place.

Hey, guys. I’d like to finish off our discussions on frame control for now and transition into other subjects. Today’s article will cover priorities in pickup.

Instead of making an overly long series on frames, I decided to move on to a topic where frames play a major role but focus on a universal issue that I see many up-and-coming seducers struggling with – their priorities.

They may know all the right theories and the right tech. Perhaps, to some extent, they have their calibration in check, and their timing is decent. It is true that if you have all these covered, you are already pretty good, and you are probably getting a lot of results. However, I often see those guys not having their priorities straight. In other words, they focus on the wrong things at the wrong time or focus on the right things, but at the wrong time.

Yes, you will have different priorities. Are logistics important? Hell yeah! But are they important when you have not yet talked to the girl? Yes, they are still important, but you have other things to worry about.

That was an extreme example, but it gives a good impression of the theme of this post. So, what we will do in this post is to go through a textbook interaction and discuss step by step the best priorities to have within different phases as you progress.

Now, obviously every interaction is different, and many exceptions will occur. Of course, it’s impossible to cover every potential scenario. So I will give you an idealistic model on how most interactions take place, and how you can correctly prioritize things. Even though some interactions will follow different structures, I believe these rules will give you a good starting point that applies to most of your interactions. And even if your interactions follow the typical textbook course, there may be nuances that force you to make exceptions and change your priorities – something that is required quite often in pickup. In this case, do not be afraid to fail, as failure will give you invaluable field experience.

Therefore, this is yet another argument for why field experience is vital, because it gives you a better idea of how to adapt to different scenarios, including less common ones. But for now, let’s talk about the general rules.

Frame Control Methods to Get Women in Bed Fast

Alek Rolstad's picture

frame control methods
In this series of posts about frame control, we’ve learned what good frames are and why they work. Now let’s talk about the methods you can use to set frames.

Hey, guys! Welcome back.

In previous weeks, we have discussed what frames are, why they are important, and what constitutes a good frame versus a bad frame.

Here are those posts if you haven’t checked them out yet:

Hopefully, with those posts you’re now familiar with:

  • What frames are
  • Their importance not only in seduction but in every social setting
  • What defines good frames
  • How you can make your framing more powerful
  • How you can better control the frame

But after all this theory, I have not given contextual examples, which is exactly what I will do in this post. We will discuss different ways in which a frame is set. This will give you an idea of what framing looks like in real life.

Even though we will not go into heavy details of how each technique is used, rest assured that each has been addressed on Girls Chase (and there will always be more to come). This post serves as an overview and starting point. Maybe you will discover new ways to set your favorite frames.

Of course, the list I am about to share is not complete, but I would say that it covers the most common methods of setting frames. My point is – there are more ways. We will distinguish between a few here:

  • Verbal and non-verbal
  • Direct and indirect
  • Active and passive

You can set frames both verbally and non-verbally. For example, you can tell a story or talk about a subject that would help set a frame. However, note that frames can also be set verbally as a response to her actions. That is often a good place to work from, or you can work with what you have in that moment. We will get more into that, do not worry.

You can set the frame non-verbally as well through escalation and eye contact.

You can set a frame passively – through action or passive behavior that dictates the vibe. For example, when you build social proof, you will automatically frame yourself as a man with options who is pursued by women – a very attractive frame. But you are not directly setting a frame; it comes as a result of the context you have created.

Anyway – no more dwelling, let’s get to the meat.

I will first discuss direct ways (active) to set a frame before moving on to how to do it passively. Finally, we will discuss how to set a frame reactively.

Tactics Tuesdays: How to Pick Up Girls Who Are Out to Be Seen

Chase Amante's picture

girl out to be seenThere's a certain kind of girl you'll meet when you frequent social venues.

These girls are out for a specific purpose: they want to be seen.

They want people to see them: how good they look, how popular they are, how in-demand.

Any kind of social venue will have women like this:

  • Nightclubs have them
  • Lounges have them
  • Bars have them
  • Parties have them
  • Wine tastings have them
  • Art gallery events have them
  • Charity events have them

Now, you might at first think if a girl is out to be seen, she's not a worthwhile prospect for a night of bedroom delights. Yet that's not always the case. The psychology of a girl like this is one of seeking validation. She desires the validation of 'being seen'... she wants others to see her, think well of her, and admire her.

In some cases, you can turn this drive of hers for validation directly to your advantage, and become a source of validation she pursues. In other cases you can serve as a kind of reprieve from the pressures of validation-seeking; one she can run off with later on in the night once she's quenched her thirst for validation.

Today we'll talk about some tactics to use to bring these types of girls to bed.

But first, we should explain whom these women are and what's happening in their heads a little bit more.