Here's a surprisingly common problem that men run into with women: showing TOO much value.
Wait, how can that be a bad thing? The more value you have, the more attractive you are -- right?
Well, yes, to an extent that's true. However, the art of communicating value has a deeper, more subtle level that most men (even the majority of men who spend years learning how best to navigate the social arena) never reach.
Guys go out for different reasons. I find that one of the most common ones, particularly for men new to meeting women on the street, at bars, at clubs, at bookstores and coffee shops, is to “work on their game”.
Totally understandable. It’s where I started out at. And, especially in the beginning, you have a lot of basic stuff you’re trying to get down and specific traits you’re looking to iron out and make a regular part of who you are and the way you interact with women.
Opening
(or
engaging a woman verbally for the first time) in-and-of
itself is a necessity, something that must be done 96% of the time when
you want to meet a girl (if we imagine that about 4% of opening is done
by women themselves). It’s unavoidable and inescapable. Different types
of openers can net you different results – with direct
openers being of course the flavor of opening that typically offers
the most bang for your buck.
But outside the words used in the opener itself, there are in fact a few other things you can do with your openers to have them serve you far better.
Enter pre-opening. A term I coined to give name to a handful of small nonverbal gestures that net big returns in opening percentages and efficacy.
This is stuff that will get more girls opening for you, more eagerly. If you want women falling all over themselves when you first say hello, outside of making changes to your clothing, hairstyle, posture, eye contact, voice, and other fundamentals, this – pre-opening – is the way to do it.
There are several categories of pre-opening I’d like to cover here, so rather than spend a lot of time talking about the how and why, let’s just dive into them and hash that part of it out as we go.
A big thing for me lately is calibrating my conversation. Conversation to me these days is mostly about getting the girl talking, and mostly about getting her talking about her dreams, her relationship history, her childhood, and qualifying herself.
Had a cool discussion tonight with a buddy of mine about some cats who are fearless at closing, and close well and often. Same-Night Lays (SNLs) from clubs, bars, no problemo, on a consistent basis.
Sure, SNLs happen, but how many guys have them happen consistently? I know just a handful of dudes who have consistency in that regard.
What I've noticed in these guys, and myself when I'm successful usually, is that closing consists of two parts:
