Mindsets

Anxiety is trying to imagine and solve every possible outcome, all at once. When you stop trying to control things you can’t, it’s like fixing a flat tire in your game.

Men often come to me in a desperate condition. They say, “I’m not that bad with women. If I could just destroy this approach anxiety, I’d be able to get all the girls I want.”

I feel like a car mechanic who specializes in changing tires. Every car owner may think their car is unique, but I’ve changed thousands of tires, to the point of routine. So while the student is saying “My father never paid enough attention, and my mother was overbearing, and I was a fat kid in grade 4, and…”

All I hear is “My tire is flat. Can you teach me how to change it?”

If you push beyond the temptations of hate toward women, you will find a new land of beauty before you. You will see the beauty in all women, even the evil ones.

Long ago, I wrote two articles. One was about how women will cuckold and dominate you if you let them. Another was about how women are, by nature, amoral.

They were darker-side articles that inspired some controversy. I had been roaming the abyss of human behavior to search for truths that, while hard to swallow, were true.

Long I struggled with these moral questions of whether or not the evils perpetrated by others are always malicious. It’s easy to simply say “I don’t care” when faced with the dark side of women. This is the motto of most tough guys, and there are many tough guys on the internet.

I thought this to be my perspective as well, for a long time. Then, reflecting on my emotions, I realized that I’d lied to myself for a long time.

All lockdown and no poon makes us all dull boys. These tips will help you preserve your sanity and health while you wait for your COVID-19 lockdown to end.

Hey guys. I hope you are doing well with the lockdowns in your area and that you and your loved ones are safe and healthy.

Since most of us are unable to head out to the field, I felt it would be inappropriate to write another post on practical field techniques at the moment. It is a good idea to keep reading posts to prepare yourself for when the field reopens. I understand that you may not have the motivation to work on your game at the moment. The truth is, you are not the only one.

I have done this for ten years, and I still love reading and developing techniques. But lately, since I cannot head out, I have little incentive to read about pickup and seduction. This is normal. Why would anyone be motivated to read about techniques they cannot immediately use?

That said, be aware that I am following the situation closely. Once everything starts reopening, I will put out guides on how to get back in the field, dealing with bad momentum (which YOU WILL HAVE, and so will I), as well as strategic ways to get back at it gradually.

I had one of the hardest lockdowns. Where I lived, I could not meet any women! I did not see or talk to a new girl for two months! It’s not because I am not capable of it, but was limited by the COVID-19 crisis laws. My lockdown was so strict that just to buy food, I had to fill out and sign a form. I could only be outside for an hour, a maximum of one kilometer away from my home. Any transgression would result in severe punishment. As you might imagine, it was almost impossible for me to meet girls.

Europe is opening, and most of Asia; good news. But most of our readers are Americans, who are in the middle of the pandemic. My experience from Europe is that you should count two to three months from the start of the outbreak before life begins to resume with some sense of normalcy in your country.

Girls Chase cannot fix the issue. It is not our role, nor do we have the capacity. But hopefully, we can provide entertaining posts and different ways to develop yourself as the pandemic marches forward so you can come out stronger than most other men, which could give you an edge when places reopen.

I can say that Girls Chase will be by your side to speed up and ease the transition back to normal. This is where our real work will begin. I know that Chase is working on some great new products and new lockdown coaching services.

We also have three(!) new writers joining the team:

• Frankie Bismarck — a normal but cool south European guy who has a solid lay count. He does down-to-earth analysis and has a high focus on day game and social circles.
• Xander Papatonis — you may know him as Hue. He's an up-and-coming star who will share some great insights.
• Gunwitch — yes, THE original seduction guru (my first teacher!) will be sharing posts for beginners as well as advanced guys alike (we have not forgotten advanced guys!).

Cool things are coming! I hope this cheers you up.

With that said, I will take some time in this “random” post to share some of my ways of handling the lockdown.

Your biggest barrier to attracting women is not what you think it is. If you keep saying “I can’t get laid because I am [blank],” you may need to rewire your inner game.

I’m a firm believer that the art of picking up girls is a gateway drug to true self-development.

Before I found the seduction community, I’d never heard of concepts like the abundance vs. scarcity mindset, limiting beliefs, or social conditioning. It was when I searched the internet for “How to get a girlfriend” that I was introduced to the odd and wonderful world of pickup artistry.

My goal, like most of you, became simple: to become awesome at picking up women. I quickly found there were hundreds of seduction techniques, gurus, and schools to choose from. With experience, I discovered it didn’t matter how many tactics I tried; it was like putting a bandaid on a gaping flesh wound.

My true self was always spilling out — a wounded, insecure, inexperienced, socially frightened boy, drastically distanced from the pinnacle of gleaming, confident excellence I am today.

The women knew I wasn’t there yet. So most of them, while amused at my pickup attempts, just wouldn’t date me. Most wouldn’t even text me back. I was baffled, frustrated, and increasingly depressed by my lack of results.

I asked one girl I was trying to score with, after numerous rejections, “What do I need to do?”

Her reply: “Spend six months meditating with my shaman in India.”

In a way, she was right. It wasn’t until years later that I understood what she really meant.

My inner game was crap.

Flow state is the miraculous place where everything works and makes you feel like a boss. What does it take to access flow state and make it your long-term ally?

If you’ve been cold approaching long enough, you’ll have heard the term “getting into state,” or perhaps “state control.” If you hang out with new pickup dudes, you’ve probably heard it in a phrase like, “I can’t approach tonight, bro. I’m not in state.”

That’s the beauty of seduction theory. Whenever some new idea comes out, weak men always find a way to use it as an excuse to not take action.

So, what is this mystical “state” we're talking about here?

State is the magical place where everything works. When you’re in “flow,” or “the zone,” you become a demi-god of skill, charisma, and focus. It’s a powerful place to be, not just with pickup but in any activity that requires skill.

The seminal book on state (and one of my all-time favorites) is Flow, The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. I’ll be quoting Mihaly as “MC” for this article, and any mentions of “flow” will refer to his book. The state of being in flow, I will call “state.”

When you start seeing obstacles in a potential seduction, it's easy to get overwhelmed and give up before you start. Just reduce your mental load and move forward.

Hey there. Today, I will share a mindset or strategy that will make your seductions easier. It’s more of “a way of looking at things.”

Have you ever gone out not feeling your best, then see a hot girl, and feel like you will have to do tremendous amounts of work to get her in bed? You feel like you are only at A, and the way to Z (sex) feels much too long, and you get demotivated.

If yes, this post is for you.

If you are a pro who has a more than satisfying and juicy sex life, or an intermediate on high momentum (enjoy it while it lasts), you may get something from this as well. I have not seen the perspective that I am about to share anywhere else.

Even though intermediates on a high lay streak feel that getting laid is “easy” (which you do on high momentum), the high point eventually crashes (the pendulum effect). Getting laid will start feeling hopeless again (don’t worry, you will get high momentum again).

The perspective or framework presented today is what I teach most often in my coaching sessions (because many guys have the problem of perceiving this to be harder than it has to be).

The concept taught here can be used for any problems in life, whether it is a work-loaded exam period or a huge project at work.

The next time you want to approach a girl but want to chicken out even more, remember: when it comes to attraction, having flaws is better than being perfect.

There are few skills more useful and powerful for developing your charisma than cold approach pickup. At its very core, all it entails is approaching women to make them feel comfortable enough to let you inside them.

The concept is simple, but the application is hard.

Imagine you’re a robot. You’re given a program, and the code tells you to: walk up to a girl, tell her she’s cute, talk to her for two minutes, and ask for her contact.

A robot would have no problem with this task because it doesn’t feel emotions like fear, doubt, insecurity, or self-consciousness. It would just approach with the correct formula compiled from the Girls Chase seduction database, and make it happen. A robot would know exactly the right techniques to apply, like how to touch a girl, how to make her feel comfortable, the right vocal tonality, plus the proper subjects and replies to elicit positive emotions like attraction, arousal, and intrigue.

What the robot would lack, however, is exactly what makes the best seducers so excellent, which is not necessarily control of emotions, but emotions themselves.

It’s often our flaws and deficiencies that make us charismatic. Not perfection, but imperfection that arouses the deepest interest. Rags to riches, zero to hero, the underdog story.

Science fiction has covered this. The creators program quirks and flaws into AI behavior, just to make humans more comfortable around them (droids). But we humans are naturally imperfect, so to strive for perfection is futile, even if you've been fitted with Borg implants. A “perfect” robotic companion would make us uneasy. We’d always wonder if our AI slave was ready to usurp and replace us. Just like having the “perfect” girl will leave most men insecure that she will leave him.

We should only strive for improvement, not perfection. It’s those who don’t strive for any growth whatsoever who dwell in the shadows, far away from any recognition. They may call themselves enlightened, but even the priest is looking to improve his relationship with his God, at least.

Look at someone like my favorite author, Charles Bukowski, for example. He wrote hilarious books and beautiful poetry that inspired millions to try their hand at writing. He took poetry away from intellectuals and gave it back to ordinary people. He was also a brutal alcoholic, depressive, and a jerk to women. But we love him for his honesty.

If it weren’t for Bukowski’s “flaws,” he wouldn’t have developed his deep understanding of what living a life of poverty can do to establish a man as an artist. His flaws are precisely what made his writings so perceptive and rich.

You don’t need to be perfect, just improving. It saddens me how many of you will never try to achieve something great because the task seems too far away, too impossible — as if you won’t gain anything from even trying.