Mindsets

Each man forms his opinions on women from the women he meets. Yet not every man meets the same sorts of women — so selection bias shapes his opinions.

I've talked about this a bit here and there. But today I'd like to highlight it specifically (and clearly).

You (yes you, the reader) are suffering from selection bias in the women you date.

Your opinions about women form from a subsection of all women that is almost certainly not comprehensive.

Further, even if you've experienced a broad cross section of women over time, if your seductions of late have been limited to a smaller cross section of women (and any chunk of your seductions across any discrete chunk of time will likely have been), selection bias has crept in whether you realize it or not.

Selection bias is subtle but sometimes insidious. It can lead men to sweeping, inaccurate beliefs about women they don't realize are inaccurate at a broad scale.

Right now, I'd like to highlight how selection bias in dating works, to help you be aware, and allow you to shield yourself from the downsides of this mental glitch we all possess.

Real time strategy game (RTS) and seduction have some surprising overlap. Success in both comes from strategy: both macro and micro.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

Today I will share an interesting but different article. I think it will be a fun read and quite useful.

I’ve always loved Real-Time Strategy (RTS) video games, like Age of Empires, Starcraft, and Warcraft III.

This article and its successor will focus on the lessons I’ve learned from playing those games. Plenty of lessons from RTS games apply to seduction. If you read through this article, you’ll see what I mean.

So, whether you’re an RTS nerd like me or not, you’ll find this a pleasant and insightful read.

Disclaimer: In no way am I advocating guys stack pizzas and sodas on their gaming desk and indulge in RTS games in their parents’ basements in the hope of becoming great seducers. That’s not how the seduction game works. Lack of socializing will negatively affect your success with women. You must still go out and meet people, especially women. There is no other way to get good at pickup and seduction.

In this post, I’ll share a parallel with RTS games that exemplifies the importance of field experience and actually doing it (playing in RTS games and meeting women in seduction).

Many guys are ‘too picky’ with girls. They ignore good-looking and great girls. Then end up alone, or stuck with girls who are bad news. You must escape this trap.

Here's a couple of concepts I want to differentiate for newer (and maybe some not-so-newer) guys:

Those of pickiness vs. selectiveness.

If you've read my stuff on screening for both long-term commitment as well as for girls you'll hook up with in one-night stands, you know how much I harp on screening out girls who aren't a fit and/or will cause you problems.

I've cited science that shows men are a lot less discriminating about the women they start relationships with than women are men, and that men look for red flags a lot less.

In other words, men are a lot more likely to stumble into relationship quicksand.

However, there is a flip side to all this discrimination you want to employ as a dater, and that is this: if you are too picky about the wrong things, you can also stunt your growth as a seducer and make it nigh impossible to get enough experience to progress.

This is the double side of being discriminating: you must be discriminating enough, without being too much so.

You must be selective without being overly picky.

It is possible to work on your self-image and outlook while also improving your game technique.

I’ve been coaching clients for many years now. Everyone has nearly the exact same issues, just in different degrees.

The universal problem they all have is taking their boring conversations that get them friendzoned or ignored, and turning them into attraction.

That was the promise that hooked me. If I learned the magic routines then sexy women would just follow me home for wild, no-strings-attached sex.

While that’s happened plenty of times, the reality is much different. I had to face soul-crushing amounts of rejection to develop the most fundamental skills.

Just learning how to approach, talk to women and hold their attention took me almost two years of daily effort.

Until you see something, you'll be hard-pressed to believe it. That includes some of the more incredible things you can pull off with seduction.

When I was a seduction neophyte, I had this idea in my head: "Quick pickups will work with loose, low value girls. But really super, scaldingly hot girls could never in a million billion years be picked up fast. Those girls know their value."

For a few years my experience bore that out. I neither picked up super hot girls super quick, or even all that often, nor did I encounter anyone who did.

We might call this a 'stable mental model'.

2.5 years into my seduction career, I made a friend who consistently slept with lots of hot girls, some of whom were very hot. Some of those girls he bedded quick... but all the quick ones there'd be some caveat or other with.

So with each of them I'd be able to tell myself, "He met that girl on MySpace, and MySpace girls are all kinda screwed up. So yeah, she's super hot, and she shagged him on a quick first date, but doesn't invalidate the rule," and my mental model remained (mostly) intact.

Then I went traveling with a mentor and watched him pick up an insanely beautiful girl exceptionally quick. A year later I was in this same mentor's town on business and here, too, I watched him pick up very, very good-looking girls at lightning speed and bed them (and I'd be along for the ride, winging him on the girl's friend, racing through pickups happening way faster than any I'd ever put together myself at that point).

That made me realize, "Wow, it actually is possible to pick up extremely hot girls extremely fast."

But I still had some reservations.

I thought, for instance, that a more reserved very hot girl, like the girlfriend I had at the time, wouldn't go for that sort of thing. I knew her, after all, and knew she wouldn't.

Then we broke up, and a few months later I read her journal, and discovered my gorgeous, high value ex-girlfriend, whom I thought was oh-so-judicious about her sexuality, let some banker she met outside a nightclub while on the rebound from me pork her up the butt.

It took me a few weeks to fully process how this girl, who had guys drooling over her wherever I took her, and always seemed like the absolute cream of the crop to me, would end up taking anal from some guy off the street she met on the rebound.

"My sweet princess, my one-time soul mate, lying on the floor of some dingy apartment in hippie-central Ocean Beach getting reamed by the meat shaft of a random she just met." That takes a moment to get your head around.

In the end, I arrived at a very different understanding of women than what I had going in, and this shift altered everything for me.

It was a great shift -- a breakthrough shift -- that allowed me to start doing the same thing I'd watched that mentor do, and the same thing that banker did to that former girlfriend of mine.

It allowed me to pick up very good-looking women, very quick.

A year later, it was friends and students of mine going out with me, watching me pick up extremely hot girls, extremely quick, and coming to me the next day saying, "I cannot believe you got that girl. And I cannot believe how fast you got her."

Then going on for a bit about how they did not believe a girl like that would even hook up with guys that fast.

Then, a bit later still, I ended up on a phone call with the ex-boyfriend of a girl I shagged (long story how I ended up talking to that guy), who could not believe how quickly this beautiful, intelligent, highly educated girl he'd wanted to marry had jumped at light speed into bed with a guy like me. I felt bad for the guy... he began the call with a long and drawn-out sigh that told me he felt in that moment exactly the way I'd felt reading my ex's journal a few years back.

What I'd seen done, I came to do. What I'd witnessed embodied, I came to embody.

I'd never have had that transformation just from someone telling me about it.

I had to see it. I had to experience it first.

So much in seduction (and life) is this way.

Most guys who start learning seduction do so to fix an immediate need. Yet the REAL results come from long-term practice.

Hi there. I hope you are all doing fine.

After spending weeks discussing indirect game and sharing two very detailed case studies of how I do things in field (showing how all the puzzle pieces come together), I have decided to move on to other subjects.

So today, let’s discuss seduction advice. I’ll debunk some misconceptions about the limitations and promises of those “quick fixes” for seduction we all too often hear.

What can we know, and what can we not know? And more importantly, what can you expect from this field of knowledge? I intend to give you a more realistic view of pickup and seduction.

Unfortunately, in this industry, we see many empty promises and outright crap to buy into. I hope that my breakdown will make sense and seem trustworthy.

A lot of guys bail out of their interactions with women too soon. How do you stop ejecting from women, and start winning with them?

The worst thing to come out of most guys' mouths when dealing with women is: "Well, it was nice to meet you."

This is the classic bail out ejection line of the beginner. All the way from budding pickup artists to just a guy trying to meet a girl who gave him some eye contact at the bar.

One of the biggest mistakes beginners, intermediates and even advanced guys make is never getting rejected. They reject themselves first.