To Attract Women, Acting like an Older Man Can Only Help You | Girls Chase

To Attract Women, Acting like an Older Man Can Only Help You

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act older and attract women
Women want men, not boys. Does that mean a young guy should adopt the styles and traits of older men in order to attract girls his own age?

I’ve been discussing pickup and outings with some younger friends and clients as a 30-something talking to guys in their early 20s or just out of college. One comment that always stands out is, “Are you sure that your older-man style is going to work for me getting younger girls?”

When guys are young (early 20s or younger) and just getting into game, it can be tough finding themselves in cities or environments where the population is predominantly older, or extremely variable. For day game cold approach in New York City, you’re just as likely to meet a 28-year-old as a 22-year-old unless you calibrate your venues and approach areas.

So, to quickly address the issue of actually meeting younger women, you can, for example, stick to areas near a college.

But more to the point of this article, virtually all men want women who are either younger or roughly the same age as they are. I meet very few young men who want to give it a shot with an older woman. With girls, however, it’s not really a question of age preference. It's more a question of what she considers "manly."

But many young guys aren’t sure if adopting the behaviors or styles of older men will help them. Hence the question: will this also work for the kinds of girls I want?

The answer is a firm “yes.” Here's why that is, and what you can do.

Varoon RajahAbout the Author: Varoon Rajah

A New York City native, Varoon’s studied under many of the seduction industry’s leading instructors. His specialty is direct day game, where he meets girls on the street, on the subway, and in coffee shops. Varoon is the host for the Girls Chase Podcast, available on iTunes or via SoundCloud.

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Comments

1984's picture

Hey varoon, I'm glad to see this article; gives hope to us older men. =)

I'm interested in the part where you talk about texting as an older men though.

"What women truly want to see in a text is to read well-crafted messages that match her investment perfectly, and also make her feel something."

What do you actually do to achieve this? What is your style of texting like? Is it to craft sentences with proper punctuation and yet throw in some emoticons? I would admit that texting is not my strongest point and it is diffcult to learn.

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

What do you actually do to achieve this?

Have a clear lead in your messages. Typically my messages will respond to a girl if she asked some kind of question, and then I'll throw the ball in her court with either a question or a logistics invite (date invite, etc). Texting should be purposeful, but yes you have the right idea with your next question:

Is it to craft sentences with proper punctuation and yet throw in some emoticons?

This is exactly correct:

1. Use proper punctuation and grammer as much as possible - the best thing to do is to look at a girl's text and match her style (if she uses a lot of punctuation, do it; if she doesn't, don't do it as much).
2. Use emoticons to convey the mood of a message. Don't overdo this.
3. Always use your texts to lead a girl towards something.

Remember that the purpose of texting isn't a date - it's to set up a date and logistics. So you should be using texting to facilitate whatever you need to in order to get her in front of you.

What is your style of texting like?

Honestly it's really simple, dumb, and boring - but I only use texting for two things - building enough comfort to invite a girl out to a date, and then logistics around the date invite. That's pretty much it (at least until we have sex, at which point it'll be more).

VR

1984's picture

Thanks for your detailed reply. I realised I am not leading enough sometimes in my messages. I could work on that.

" but I only use texting for two things - building enough comfort to invite a girl out to a date, and then logistics around the date invite. "

How do you determine how much comfort to build before asking her out on text? I know its a question that has many variables but it is something I am experimenting on. Is it exchanging a certain amount of text? Cover a few topics? What she did over the past few days, try to connect with her on it by sharing what you did too? Try to talk about something exciting, and then ask her out when she is laughing?

Following chase's article "14 simple ways to text a girl", I send my date invite after the icebreaker text. That never worked for me in cold approaches; (the rest of the texts in the article works very well for me though). instead what I do is I try to trade minimum 3 texts overall with the girl before I asked her out and it works better, for me.

I have no idea why its a minimum of 3, so I like to compare my experiences with others who are really good. Also, I find that if the girl does not return my first icebreaker text, I will never get anything out of her from subsequent texts. Is that the case for you as well?

 

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

"How do you determine how much comfort to build before asking her out on text? I know its a question that has many variables but it is something I am experimenting on. Is it exchanging a certain amount of text? Cover a few topics? What she did over the past few days, try to connect with her on it by sharing what you did too? Try to talk about something exciting, and then ask her out when she is laughing?"

 

Comfort is just how hooked she is with the texting and with you. If you did a good approach then you'll have comfort and attraction already established; otherwise you'll have to create some very basic comfort by text - by asking questions and having a short text conversation.

Usually for me it's time to invite her out when you see one of two things:
1. You ask a question in your text to her, and she replies with a statement, and doesn't ask you a question back. If she asks a question, then I'll respond conversationally until she stops asking a question. Then I'll ask her out.
2. There have already been 2-3 exchanges and it feels natural to invite her out as part of a question she's asked. For instance maybe your conversation is about speakeasies, and she asks which one you've been to, and you use that as a date invite by offering to show her.

"Following chase's article "14 simple ways to text a girl", I send my date invite after the icebreaker text. That never worked for me in cold approaches; (the rest of the texts in the article works very well for me though). instead what I do is I try to trade minimum 3 texts overall with the girl before I asked her out and it works better, for me.

I have no idea why its a minimum of 3, so I like to compare my experiences with others who are really good. Also, I find that if the girl does not return my first icebreaker text, I will never get anything out of her from subsequent texts. Is that the case for you as well?"
 

Yes I've had good results with 2-3 exchanges as well - that's usually enough time to build comfort.

VR

1984's picture

Thanks VR, for your replies once again. What I did is similar to you but I can try weaving the date invite into the text questions/statements I am asking/making to her. A lot of times I feel that my convo is very jarring because I suddenly switched into a date invite with no prior links.

Anyway, I do have a minor suggestion to make. I am thankful for the great replies I have received so far from you, daniel, chase and other girlschase authors and I would like to type my thanks everytime but it would clog up the system plus it doesn't serve much value.

Perhaps there could be a "thumbs up" button somewhere next to the replies/comments, so that we can indicate our thanks without actually posting a comment? It could also indicate how good the reply was. Also if the thumbs up is for a particular question posted by readers, it could also indicate how important/popular the question is, from the readers' side?

Maybe the readers would have to log in and such before they can post their thumbs up, to prevent spam. Anyway, that's just my minor suggestion.

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