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Varoon Rajah's picture

"How do you determine how much comfort to build before asking her out on text? I know its a question that has many variables but it is something I am experimenting on. Is it exchanging a certain amount of text? Cover a few topics? What she did over the past few days, try to connect with her on it by sharing what you did too? Try to talk about something exciting, and then ask her out when she is laughing?"


Comfort is just how hooked she is with the texting and with you. If you did a good approach then you'll have comfort and attraction already established; otherwise you'll have to create some very basic comfort by text - by asking questions and having a short text conversation.

Usually for me it's time to invite her out when you see one of two things:
1. You ask a question in your text to her, and she replies with a statement, and doesn't ask you a question back. If she asks a question, then I'll respond conversationally until she stops asking a question. Then I'll ask her out.
2. There have already been 2-3 exchanges and it feels natural to invite her out as part of a question she's asked. For instance maybe your conversation is about speakeasies, and she asks which one you've been to, and you use that as a date invite by offering to show her.

"Following chase's article "14 simple ways to text a girl", I send my date invite after the icebreaker text. That never worked for me in cold approaches; (the rest of the texts in the article works very well for me though). instead what I do is I try to trade minimum 3 texts overall with the girl before I asked her out and it works better, for me.

I have no idea why its a minimum of 3, so I like to compare my experiences with others who are really good. Also, I find that if the girl does not return my first icebreaker text, I will never get anything out of her from subsequent texts. Is that the case for you as well?"

Yes I've had good results with 2-3 exchanges as well - that's usually enough time to build comfort.