Tactics Tuesdays: Don't Trigger Her Analytical Side | Girls Chase

Tactics Tuesdays: Don't Trigger Her Analytical Side

Chase Amante

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analytical side

Everybody likes to assume men are the factual, analytical sex. But there's more to being factual and analytical than one's sex. Certain environments prime you to think in factual, analytical ways. Many of the women you meet are fresh out of these environments.

When a woman spends all day in an office or (to a lesser extent) a university, she can get mechanical in her thoughts. It takes some work to shake her out of that and get her into a playful, social mood. Along the way, you can trip yourself up by returning her to Fact Land.

In Fact Land, there's no such thing as a sexy man. Men can't be sexy when they concern themselves with facts. Can you factually, analytically define sexiness? Neither can she. Further, you need women out of a factual mindset to properly take them through seduction. Seduction consists of many counter-factual moments... like telling her "Let's get out of here, it's so noisy and boring" to get her back to your place. Well, it's actually more interesting in whatever stimulating environment you have her in. A woman in an emotional headspace who likes you will agree, because she'll be more interested in you than the environment. A woman in a factual headspace however will not see how going to your dull apartment is more interesting than a chaotic bar or street scene. You must guide her away from Fact Land into Feeling Land.

This week's Tactics Tuesday isn't about how to pull her completely out of facts and into feelings. That's a more involved process... one that involves doing things that make her feel, and helping her feel allowed to let down her protective wall of facts. This post is about not accidentally triggering her factual side while you're striving to awaken her feelings.

Chase AmanteAbout the Author: Chase Amante

Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone. So, he set to work and read every book he could find, studied every teacher he could meet, and talked to every girl he could talk to to figure out dating. After four years, scads of lays, and many great girlfriends (plus plenty of failures along the way), he launched this website. He will teach you everything he knows about girls in one single program in his One Date System.

GET CHASE’S ONE DATE SYSTEM

Comments

Ben's picture

This is a godsend. I realized recently that I was too facts-based in conversation, and started treating conversation as an exercise whose point is the interaction, not information transfer. 

This smoothed out a lot of the issues I had with conversations being dull, forced or impersonal, but only when the other person also wanted to (and was able to) 'play'.

This is the piece I was missing:) 

So thanks

-Ben

A.A's picture

Hey Chase - great article mate, I had never actually considered this aspect of the “analytical side” before. I’m surprised how easy it is to fall into that trap to be honest.

Reading the example text message conversation got me thinking though. Lately I’ve been texting a girl I met at a hangout with some friends, and she gave me a few signals, so we chatted over a day or two (building rapport). I then asked her what her schedule looked like next week, and if she wanted to grab a bite or a drink sometime - to which she replied that she had to study for her exams (she actually does, it seems) and that we could all hang out (as a group) afterwards.

I’m relatively new to the game but I’m pretty sure that’s a very bad sign - I’ve probably messed up very badly somewhere, haven’t I... what do you think?

Anyway, what I’m wondering is:

1.) Is there a way to tell when an excuse is simply an excuse in a situation like this, or one like the example conversation you used - especially when you leave it open-ended (“some time”)? How would you deal with excuses to an open-ended proposal?

2.) Is there any way to come back from this the next time I see her? What would your approach be?

Thanks in advance!
Regards,
A.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

A.A.-

Yeah, when you get the "we can all hang out as a group later!" thing, that is generally a polite brush off.

Not always; sometimes it was not obvious to her you were intersted. But... usually that's what it is.

Best thing to do when that happens is to meet some more girls.

There are various social circle solutions you can pursue for a girl in your circle you like but who isn't interested in you at the moment. Anything you can do that generates preselection or gets a little female competition or a jealousy plotline going will work the best.

That'd be my priority if I was in this situation and wanted a girl who'd soft rejected me: make sure she was seeing me with other (attractive) women who were into me or dating me. Then go from there.

But really, yeah... just keep meeting girls. You'll find more who do want to go out with you, and that's when it really starts to get fun.

Chase

Subzzy's picture

Hey Chase, a few questions:
1)Am okay with deep diving once I'm settled down with a girl. My main issue seems to be how to direct the conversation after the opener before delving into the deep dive. An outline from you of how to go about this would be cool especially if you could structure it like the way you did the 'conversation example' article.

2)I want to work on my writing. If I were to read GC articles as well as a few pieces from the economist, and then try to rewrite them from scratch, would that help to imbibe those writing styles into my personality?
3)I've never read a book before except those on the school curriculum. During the month of may I made up my mind to start reading a book per week though at times I read 2 instead of one in that span of time. So far am onto my 26th book, only problem is some of the books have really complex writing which affects my comprehension somewhat. You seem to have an easy time when it comes to gleaning meaning of complex ideas e.g those research pieces you occasionally embed in your articles. The writing in those research pieces seems to be written to intimidate not just the lay man but I presume that even the somewhat elite guy yet you usually paraphrase the content therein With total ease. How can I achieve this ability as well. And would you also recommend I write up a summary of each book I read. Some folks seem to do that though I wonder whether it has any impact.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

On these:

  1. I think what you're asking for is basically more variations on the Conversation Example article, since that's already what it sounds like you're asking for, right? Like you are asking me to write out more example conversations? If so, I have actually done this... if you ever purchased Spellbinding or my Mastery Package, there's a book called Conversation Scripts in there. It has scripts for five areas: bar/lounge, nightclub, street, date, and late conversation. We also have a product caled "Demo Dates" we finished filming the dates for, which are exactly this... Hector and I each scripted some dates, then we had actresses and actors (or, in one case, Hector himself) act out the dates. I just need to get in the studio and film the explanation parts where I talk about what is happening in each scene with the various lines/moments and get the detail in. Anyway, you may want to pick up Spellbinding or Mastery (which we don't advertise anymore, but you can still grab a copy of) or wait for Demo Dates, if you really need some scripts to follow.

  2. Yes, rewriting articles from scratch is an excellent way to learn writing. It's one of the most recommended ways. And whatever style you're writing in is a style you are going to learn. If you can, handwrite (you learn better), but typing is still good too.

  3. Nice going on the "book a week" objective! There's little else that will improve your life like reading good books will. People read so much online now that it seems like they don't realize reading a book is a wholly different (and often quite superior) experience. As for parsing tough-to-read stuff... it is just practice. Years of it. Starting in school and continuing on long after that. Looking at stuff, discovering at first glance I have no idea what it is saying, and saying, "All right. Let me go r-e-a-l slow and see if I can understand what they are saying here." Giving yourself permission to take it a sentence at a time makes a big difference; if you're trying to read at a normal speed and not getting it, easy to get frustrated and give up. Also, explain it to yourself internally: "Okay, so he is saying X leads to Y, but Z factor impacts X. So does Z then lead to Y? It looks like they are saying Z impacts X, but does not directly lead to Y. It only makes X more or less likely to lead to Y." I still have to do that with a lot of research papers. I can read many of them very quickly now, but some of them I still will stop for a moment and say "What did I just read? I'd better reread that, because I have no idea what that guy just said." (also, don't tell anyone, but every couple months I have to go refresh myself on what a p-value is, despite having read thousands of these damn papers, the vast majority of which revolve around p, because every time I go a few months without reading any papers in-depth I forget what p is... for the umpteenth time)

Chase

Subzzy's picture

Hey Chase,
1) In terms of conversation, I was referring to the hook phase of the interaction. I seem to really struggle a lot in this area. Most times after delivering my opener, I introduce myself to the girl and then proceed to either get her digits or propose an instant date like so;

Me; (pre-open) Hey I noticed you standing over here...and Iooking at you...I think it's really true when they say a woman's hair is her glory.
Her; Oh thank you...
Me; Am Ben btw.
Her; Am Sandra.
Me; So Sandra, i'm like super hungry right now and just on my way to grab a bite at this awesome cafe down the street... care to join me. OR Hey, would you like to grab a coffee sometime this week? (if it's a yes, I proceed to grab her contact info)

What tends to happen though is that the numbers I grab tend not to pan out. As for the instant dates, there is usually a little hesitancy on the girl's part in spite of her clearly liking me.

My guess is that I need to somehow engage in banter before doing any of the above things. My problem though is how to go about initiating it. I've read your article that tackles three rules of bantering. I tend to do really well at bantering and deep diving at the later stages of conversation.

My only issue is how to go about it at the outset after the opener so as to reel her in. At the outset of my conversations everything seems unsmooth but the at the later phases girls laugh and are clearly into the interaction.

2) Thanks for your thumbs up on using rewriting as a way to get better at writing. I want to especially use it to hopefully learn your style for argumentative writing and J.K Rowling's style for story writing.

I'll probably keep alternating between the two. Like say one day I'm rewriting a post by you and the other day I'm rewriting a chapter from a Harry potter book. Anyway I'll work out the details as I go along.

A question I have though is whether the rewrite has to be an exact replica of the original. That and any other tips from you on how to go about rewriting would really be cool.

I know you're a busy guy Chase but thank you for ALWAYS taking time off to respond to readers' comments. Your compassion and empathy always shine through in your writing.

Author
Chase Amante's picture

SZ-

Yeah, you can't just do "Greeting --> Name Exchange --> Instant Date." A woman needs at least a couple minutes of conversation before she's ready to agree to a date/number exchange or an instant date. I remember when I first learned about the two-minute number close I thought it was unbelievable how fast that was... a phone number in two minutes! You can go faster, but usually only with girls who are either super into you or super horny in general. The rest of the time, you need to talk to them, man. It's not just "Hey, nice to meet you. What's your name? Let's get food."

That's the kind of thing where, you know, what you're doing is so totally different from what's taught on the site. That's the kind of thing I'm talking about when I say a guy's like "I've been doing this but it isn't working", then you look at what the guy's doing and are like "What? I never taught you to do that! No wonder it isn't working!" Talking to women long enough to reach the hook point's a major thing you've got to do with 99% of women and you're skipping it. It's like building a car, following the guide, but leaving out the spark plugs. You might do a great job putting the rest of the car together, but it's not going to start.

Read (or reread) all these articles:

This is important.

It is not going to work until you start doing this.

Probably 30% or more of this website is devoted to what to say to and do with women between the opener and the point where you ask the girl for a date/number or to go somewhere with you.

If you've read How to Make Girls Chase, or you own One Date, the proportion of the content devoted to "between the opener and the ask" is probably about 30% or more there too.

It's like somehow you missed that 30% or something. How is that possible? You're making my head hurt, man...

A question I have though is whether the rewrite has to be an exact replica of the original. That and any other tips from you on how to go about rewriting would really be cool.

Buy a copy of Stephen King's book On Writing and read that. Or follow the guide in this Gary Halbert letter. Preferably both. Both of those will train up your writing to a respectable degree of competency if you follow them.

Chase

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