Some guys slowly circle, other guys charge in. But if you want the most consistent results with girls, you'll do neither such thing…
It'd be nice if you could approach a girl, do a few things, and she just goes right to being your girl right after that, right?
Most women you'll meet aren't ready to go the moment you meet them, however.
Instead, you have to take them through a process.
You have to get them comfortable with you. You have to get them to follow your lead. You have to awaken their lusts. You have to create situations where they are alone with you and can slip into a more intimate interaction. You have to invite, and you have to lead.
The approach an ordinary man takes with women typically falls to one of two extremes:
-
He takes baby steps, but too few and too slowly. These men are the hesitant men, who don't want to blow it with a girl, so they go slow and walk soft. They stay well within the bounds of acceptability, but end up so tentative girls don't realize they like them, or if they do realize it, they find the guys too tame and aren't interested.
-
The other type of guy takes big steps, but rushes. These men are the aggressive men, who don't want to waste time on uninterested women, so they go fast and make bold moves. They cross the bounds of acceptability with many women, since these bounds are different for every girl and if you're trying to move bold and move fast (and aren't using much finesse as you do it) you don't have time to figure out where each individual girl's boundaries are. The result is men like this succeed with the women who were open to what they wanted and whose bounds matched their moves (a minority of women), while they blow themselves out or scare off the women for whom they make too many bold moves, too fast, or go too far out of bounds (the majority of women they meet).
It's better to be Guy B than it is to be Guy A, generally. Guy B at least will get some decent success with girls, even if he blows it with most of them. But you have to be a bit of an asshole to pull off the Guy B approach.
Guy A spends too much of his time pining away after girls who may not even realize he likes them, or do realize it but don't feel anything for him (and never will, since he never really does anything with them).
Both men are extremes though.
One moves too slowly and softly, like a seduction sloth.
The other moves too brazenly and rushed, like a seduction rhinoceros.
The way the most adept seducers move is neither like the slow-moving, soft sloth, nor the brazen, rushed rhino.
The best seducers move like a cat: lots of little steps, made quickly, before they pounce.
Comments
meeting women on the subway
Hi Chase,
Thanks for another great article, detailed and to the point like all your writings. So how would you say one should apply fast baby steps to meeting women on the New York City subway ? I sometimes notice attractive women looking my way while waiting for the train on the station platform (sometimes it appears they're looking for the train, but I notice a little smile too).
Thanks brother.
Re: meeting women on the subway
Bill-
Well, to break it into little fast baby steps:
At that point, she's either doing something with you right now, or you've got her contact information to meet up with her later.
Simple little process, but works very well.
Chase
Fast baby steps to approaching
Hey chase I wanted to know what are some direct openers you can use with women who have a nice figure, have a nice ass and/or titties ,but a face you don't find particarly appealing either because they're older and less youthful or they happen to have a plain looking face. In other words how do you compliment a butterface lol. Cuz if you say you approach them and tell them you thought they looked cute it won't feel genuine or sincere and women will be able to read that. Also when you first started out approaching in your early twenties did you approach women who look like they're in their thirties or did you only approach other young women?
How to Compliment a 'Butterface'
Ben-
These all work fine for women without beautiful faces:
Usually you should not compliment on body parts (breasts/butt/legs) unless you really know what you're doing.
Sure. Took me a little while to figure it out though; I had a bunch of problems with them calling me too young at first. I talked about that here: "Younger Men and Older Women."
Chase
Very good article for the beginner
Hi mate. This is a very good article for the complete pick-up beginner. I've read a lot of articles on the site and though they are very good and in-depth, a lot of it seems like "too much/too hard". This simple approach really appealed to me, as a beginner and an introvert. I can't wait to try it out.
"The difference between a cat
"The difference between a cat hunting prey and a man seducing a woman is that in the woman's case, she wants you to pounce. But, like with the cat's prey, most women will only let you pounce if you are fast and smooth in how you do it."
Guys who want girls to go to them, and wait forever cause they feel above the need to game/hunt are like a tiger who would only eat if prey puts in front of him: most likely he would go malnourished...
so I prefer the name "cat
so I prefer the name "cat steps"
Leave a Comment