The Red-Black Game, Pt.1: An Analogy for Life and Relationships | Girls Chase

The Red-Black Game, Pt.1: An Analogy for Life and Relationships

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Varoon Rajah's picture

By: Varoon Rajah

red-black game analogy for life and relationships
How you play the game of life will determine whether you win or lose. It’s nice if everyone could win all the time, but real life situations often make that impractical.

To close out my writing for the year, I’m going to take a hard look at human behavior in this series. I started writing this article back in January 2018 and, at first, it was one of my most positive – and unrealistic – articles to date.

It put it on the back burner for the rest of the year. Meanwhile, my life unfolded into the greatest whirlwind I’ve ever experienced, a result of the forces of trust and fear, as well as people striving to get what they want from me – and me from them.

When you interact with another human being, there are many elements at play. Two of the biggest are trust and intention. The combination of these two elements – how much you trust someone and how you perceive their intentions – has huge ramifications for how your relationships develop and endure.

This article is a little abstract, but I think it’s a nice model for pondering over how you interact with different people and entities. I’m going to show you a model for approaching your relationships with others for your long-term benefit, whether it be with men or women, in either business or social situations. I’m also going to teach you how to identify when to protect yourself from people who want to hurt, dominate, or take advantage of you.

I believe everyone can grow from this model, and it boils down to one simple thing – when you play a game, everyone wants to win. For you to achieve the strongest level of power in a game, you must ensure that everyone wins their game and are in control of that process.

If you cannot achieve this (i.e., if you cannot win together), then you must ensure that you read the threatening intentions of the other side correctly, successfully dominate the other side, and win against any aggressive threats.

This includes the dating game. Always structure your encounters with women so that both you and her win in the battle. Either dominate your competition or provide winning mechanisms for them, too. We’re going to analyze this by exploring the red-black game.

Comments

U's picture

Very interesting article, varoon!

I really find it super cool how you show that simple numbers can add and reflect life. 

Keen to see part 2!

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

Glad you like it, U!

Pistol's picture

Really awesome stuff here. I just finished reading some Rollo Tomassi and it made me reflect on all the experiences in which women have red carded me. I was in a dark place for a while, forgetting all the times people have tried to hand me a black card but I was so skeptical and hurt I refused to play with them. This is an excellent, more accurate way of contextualizing the game of life. 

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

Great experience to share! Women red-card men all the time - you see it the most in a divorce situation, where the same woman who used to "love" a guy unconditionally is now going after his guts. Red is most often played for survival when it comes to women - so when you see this happening to you, a woman just did something to survive, and possibly at your expense.

You can't let the bad experiences define your relationship to women - they'll just avoid you completely in that case (also survival instinct and strategy at play). The only thing you can really do is learn from your mistakes and not repeat them.

Curious's picture

Cluster b women and their abusive conduct make them enemies of your self esteem. And they can turn on you and ruin your good name, and blame you for the damage they cause. Could you include a blurb about them? 

 

Also unhealed trauma/pain might make some people more risk averse and self-protective. Thus they play the red card, and it’s all unconscious. And while change is possible, a person has to have strong desire to not remain the same and it takes effort to change. Someone who plays the black card might be understanding of the social dynamics at play behind the link between abuse and current behavior patterns. The question for a budding light bringer seducer black card player is: when to cut your losses and move on vs trying to save someone else? 

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

Hey Curious,

See these articles for your information:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/spotting-and-avoiding-cluster-b-women
https://www.girlschase.com/content/flirt-games-cockteases-attention-whor...

Yes you are correct that trauma and pain, especially deep rooted as in abuse and childhood abuse, definitely makes people more protective and more likely to play red. The key behind this is what I'll call "stability" - a stable person can look at social dynamics and see exactly what's going on, and create a winning outcome for all. Unstable people and groups, on the other hand, tend to play Red as it becomes a game of survival and self-sufficiency.

As for saving others - my own theory is that you can't help others unless you help yourself, so best to save yourself and then focus on saving others if you can. The thing with "others" is that their actions are still completely out of your control - so even if you advise others correctly, often times they'll do something completely different - and there's not much you can do about it. So this is really a question of your relationship with the person and how much you want to stick your neck out for their success.

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