Your Use of Tinder Is Hobbling You with Girls | Girls Chase

Your Use of Tinder Is Hobbling You with Girls

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Varoon Rajah's picture

tinder get women
Truly hot women are scarce in the world of online dating apps. If you want to meet them, give your swiping finger a rest and focus on your in-real-life game.

Throughout 2017, I’ve noticed two strong trends that have put questions in my mind about the future direction of teaching and practicing social arts.

  1. The increasing reliance of men on Tinder and dating apps as their main resource to meet women; many of these men are frustrated with their results on the app

  2. The simultaneous frustration in women who meet men using dating apps like Tinder

The conclusion I’ve derived from both observations is that Tinder is now well on its way out of the limelight, and guys are far better off in the long term if they learn to meet, date, and sleep with women without using these apps.

Now, I’m not saying Tinder doesn’t have any utility. We have posted some great guides on Girls Chase on how to use Tinder. I’ve even used them myself, meeting, dating, and having sex with girls using the methods described therein. I’ve seen it work for men around me, too.

So the crux of this article is not to argue that you should never use Tinder, because it definitely has its uses, particularly for guys who just want to get laid without spending the time necessary to meet women elsewhere. If Tinder and similar apps get you everything you want with the quality of women you desire, great.

My point with this post is that guys can get better-quality women if they take the time to learn to meet them in person rather than relying solely on online and app-based dating systems. In short, when you get good at meeting girls in person, there’s little reason to use Tinder to meet them.

Comments

Cynical's picture

"The conclusion I’ve derived from both observations is that Tinder is now well on its way out of the limelight"

I think Tinder will remain reasonably popular, i can't see it going the way of xanga or myspace. I think you underestimate how lazy the average person is.

The only scenario i see it dying is if every attractive woman gets off the app. But as long as there are attractive women, men will still be using it.

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

Hey Cynical,

I somewhat agree with you, but with a twist - I don't think Dating Apps are going anywhere, but I do think that Tinder may decline and be replaced by other dating apps which are more niche focused. I guess time will tell...

You're definitely right that people are generally lazy, and in this case it's applicable to men - who would generally rather swipe on a girl (or several hundred girls) than putting in the effort to go meet the girl he wants in person. I think this will hold true even if the women using the app are not that attractive, which is the pattern I described in the article.

VR

Shawn's picture

...VR, the problem I have with articles like this is that they kind of make it sound like it will be so easy to find supermodel-tier women if you "just game in real life" and they also make it sound as if it will be easy to seduce in real life, but in fact women are just as bitchy/stuck-up in real life.

Also, what is a guy like me to do if he cannot stand the whole friggin nightclub/bar scene?...to me it's never been fun to be cramped in a room where you can barely move, it will be way too loud and obnoxious to even hold a conversation, and wasting energy/time on stuck-up btiches that won't give you the time-of-day in the first place.

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

Hey Shawn! Haha - well, that's just your perception of women that they are bitchy and stuck up - and in that view, they will be that way regardless of if you meet them on Tinder, or in a night club, or on the street during the day.

If you haven't read this article yet by Chase, check it out: http://www.girlschase.com/content/she-may-be-bitch-you-shes-pussycat-me

It should answer the first part of your question; keep in mind that gaming and getting women is one of the two most difficult endeavors a man will take on in his life (I think money and career is the second); so the point here isn't to make anything look easy, because it's really not.

Anyway, if night game isn't your scene (it isn't mine, either, but some people love it) then you can always try meeting girls during the day, or even through your social circle if you're more extroverted. Meeting girls during the day in my opinion is hands down the best environment to meet girlfriend-quality women. You can also use Tinder and dating apps, but I still feel those are tools best used supplementally to meeting girls in person through cold approach.

Hakunamatafaka's picture

There are some good points in your article, but its a little bit black and white-thinking, I guess. You can also do online, day and night-game to meet up women. One can affect the other.

For example: The online-texting skills you use can give more value to convert a solid daygame-number in a date. And experience with a lot of online-dates in general make daygame-dates far more easy to convert in to sex and so on. A true seducer should master every form of game. Whats your opinion about this?

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

Hey Hakuna,

What I’ve noticed is that there are only a few “true” seducers in the world who are good at everything - online game, dating apps, social circle, day game, and night game. Most folks choose to specialize in an area that works best for them - and this actually does include Tinder and Dating Apps as well. For instance, Alek Rolstad is a night game specialist. Hector Castillo is a big day gamer (and also does night game). I focus principally on Day Game. Daniel focuses on day game and night game with fairly quick pulls. You see very few seduction guys who are truly good only using Tinder and Dating Apps as their primary means of meeting women - but you see that often with guys who aren’t good at getting women any other way.

The biggest issue that I’ve seen with people who use Dating Apps as their primary means of meeting women is that they inevitably are extremely weak on two of the most useful skills in seduction - approaching women, and opening women. For extreme online and app daters, it’s just not something they have to worry about - so they don’t bother to learn it. This makes it easy for these seducers to meet women online, but I’ve never seen a more fearful group of men when it comes to approaching women in real life.

For this reason, it is my own opinion, as well as what was advised to me by my mentor, that guys who want to get good at seduction should use Tinder and dating apps only as a supplementary means of meeting women, not as your primary means. Therefore, if you have the discipline to meet four women a day in day game, or you’re going out 2-4 nights a week for night game, then you can use Tinder as much as you want. I’ve seen very few guys who actually put this into practice though, mainly because of the issue with approaching I mentioned above. Approaching and opening women as skills are probably the most difficult, and also the most useful, skills to have for the rest of your life. Guys who use Tinder tend to become far too reliant on the apps to do this for them, not to mention that I think guys can meet better quality women in real life anyways.

I hope this helps you with your question!

D123456's picture

Interesting points. Using tinder as a man screams low value, no question, but I'm not sure what to think of what you say about girls looking for commitment etc. I thought we'd established (or at least chase and others have written more than once) that girls, deep down, like hookups and actually want to hook up with strangers. That rationale reminds me a bit of the old tired myth that women don't like sex all that much and only want relationships. Which I'm sure you too disagree with. There must be a better explanation why higher quality girls dislike tinder, besides the obvious bad connotations the app has (I mean I know a lot of people who use tinder on a daily basis, yet ask them about it and they all go "oh it's boring, I don't like it etc")

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

Hey D#,

You are correct that women LOVE sex. Absolutely 100%, no question, and so they're definitely down to hook up with sexy men, and anonymous men, and men they meet on Tinder....for a quick fling. Horny girls are especially down for this - women come on their ovulation and are far more likely to jump on Tinder, or go to a nightclub and get picked up by a sexy guy for the night, or otherwise...

HOWEVER, that is not the biological goal of women - it is the biological goal of MEN to hook up with as many women as possible. For a woman, the biological goal is to make a man commit to her, for the purposes of creating a family and supporting the man. So with that in mind, sure, a woman might get the feeling of wanting to fuck and going through with it, and she may also be a serial dater/fucker and use Tinder to hook up with as many guys as possible. By and large, though, most women derive more pleasure from, and seek more, commitment and relationships from ONE guy - the strongest man she can find who will commit to her.

For high quality girls, my own explanation is that they already have a huge abundance of men chasing after them for sex - in real life, and even more so on apps like Tinder. I've heard from my sexy female friends that 100+ men might swipe right and message them on any given day - and these girls don't even bother to read most messages. Sex is readily available from hundreds of guys... and they don't want it, because it's like drinking water for a woman at that point - when you want it, it's available, but you don't chase after it. A high quality women knows she can meet bolder, stronger guys in person, because that's much harder to do for a guy than to swipe on Tinder and send a quick message. It's also less time wasted, and it's frankly more fun for a woman than Tinder is.

On the flip side, you see a lot of girls who are 6's and 7's using Tinder, because this is a good avenue for THOSE women to meet guys who are sexy 8's and 9's on the looks scale, and meet up with them. Why? Because we already established that truly hot girls don't use Tinder, but plenty of men still do of all appearances...so 6's and 7's get access to some really sexy guys through the app. This is why you also see some guys kill it on Tinder...they're in that top bracket hooking up with mid-high tier women most of the time, and the scale of hookups from Tinder is heavily skewed to this top bracket.

Hope this clarifies my thoughts on things :).

bongstar420's picture

Nope..If women actually loved sex, they would not spend much time at all caring about all the BS that isn't sex. They would be like dudes, and most would totally lay out a gross guy just to get off the same as most men.

My new thing to tell women now is to tell them I wish I was gay but dudes are gross looking and don't have real vaginas....because if women took a lesson from gay men, not only would I have the sex I want, but I'd also have the relationship I want. Unfortuantely, no amount of personality, status, wealth, or anything makes a male a female. Only wide hips and a real vagina qualifies as feminine and worthy of a bang.

I'm too tired of every woman I meet always automatically disqualifying within minutes of getting information about her. My qualifications are easy to make and say nothing about the quality of myself as a human being because everythign that qualifies me can also qualify a degenerate or  dumbass.

Author
Varoon Rajah's picture

Nope..If women actually loved sex, they would not spend much time at all caring about all the BS that isn't sex. They would be like dudes, and most would totally lay out a gross guy just to get off the same as most men.

You are 100% wrong here - but it's where you're wrong that's probably not something you're too familiar with.

Women LOVE sex - but they care about their reputations more. That's the biggest difference between women and the gay men that you mention, as gay men love sex and don't care at all about their reputations. To a woman, the worst thing she can possibly do is be seen as slutty in the eyes of society, because society is judgmental - so she will hide her desire for sex just to save face in the eyes of society (and men) whereas that is not at all something gay men care about.

The art of game and the sexy man is that he knows this - and he knows how to make a woman feel allowed to have sex and be freely sexual because he makes it clear through his words and actions that he's not a man who will judge her for wanting sex, and he will not do harm to her reputation.

bongstar420's picture

It is too much work just for sex when all that really matters is if she is good looking. The real answer is to stop trying to be in relatinship and for women to learn how to feel kinky banging ugly losers just like how almost all men will lay out a war pig in times of scarcity.

If women want "relationships" they need to actually present something of depth other than looking for a hiking buddy or romance neither of which will fulfill what they say are their goals. Judging by women's descriptions, most actually don't want sex much at all, they want a friend who will follow her around on her terms waiting for a chance at a lay instead of an actual friend that is there for everything else but sex.

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